• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Is Chivalry Sexist? (The modern version)

Everyone holds the door open for everyone where I am from. The most scumbag looking dude will hold the door open for you if you are ahead of them and vice versa.
 
That is a real problem (or risk ?) for our society. Men completely castrated of doing something "sexist", so they end up not talking to women. And women so obsessed of being "right" that they end up alone.

But society invented dating services and we are all good.

I am happy to meet my wife at university before, because in the current work system, I would not even know how to talk to a girl without a feeling of going to far, the girl being outraged or claiming for harassment.

Or maybe just don't get to the level where your behaviour might be deemed as harassment?
 

SpaceWolf

Banned
Everyone holds the door open for everyone where I am from. The most scumbag looking dude will hold the door open for you if you are ahead of them and vice versa.

giphy.webp
 
Then it is not chivalry anymore, but sexual predatory activity.

I remind a few years ago, the very same story, only in the full light. The girl was walking under the rain, I was in a car, I stopped and proposed to bring her to the station (she had a big bag). She said no. I did not ask more. So she went alone under the rain. i met her again at the station where I was also going. She was completely wet and exhausted. She probably got cold too.

And she died of cold ...

I did not blame her, but our society.
what

You proposed to some girl to get into your car? And then she died of cold? This has to be a joke.
 
Then it is not chivalry anymore, but sexual predatory activity.

I remind a few years ago, the very same story, only in the full light. The girl was walking under the rain, I was in a car, I stopped and proposed to bring her to the station (she had a big bag). She said no. I did not ask more. So she went alone under the rain. i met her again at the station where I was also going. She was completely wet and exhausted. She probably got cold too.

Erm, I'm a guy and even I won't get in a stranger's car.

Like, that's literally the first lesson of kindergarten- don't talk to strangers, don't accept sweets from strangers, and don't follow strangers....
 
I always give women the advantage, open the door for them and provide help with carrying heavy things. The smile I get almost every time in return is worth it alone.
I have worked in women dominated work places pretty much my entire career and overheard countless conversation between them, and trust me, almost all embrace good old chivalry, especially in this day and age with morals declining everywhere.
How are morals declining now more than ever before?
 
Erm, I'm a guy and even I won't get in a stranger's car.

Like, that's literally the first lesson of kindergarten- don't talk to strangers, don't accept sweets from strangers, and don't follow strangers....

Which is a weird lesson. I always encourage kids to talk with whomever they want, but there's a gulf of difference between conversation and taking gifts or leaving with someone.

The latter two are always no-nos for kids, and even adults should be very wary of taking that sort of risk.
 

xRaizen

Member
Chivalry is fine, it's the internet """"chivalry"""" that's bad. That's the typical fedora wearing m'lady types. The "nice guys" that complain about never getting women.

I used to be one of them and it's pretty much why I motivated myself to change in the past couple of years :) you gotta know when nice is too nice.
 
Which is a weird lesson. I always encourage kids to talk with whomever they want, but there's a gulf of difference between conversation and taking gifts or leaving with someone.

The latter two are always no-nos for kids, and even adults should be very wary of taking that sort of risk.

Kids can be easily manipulated an coerced that's why just not talking straight up is good advices for children
 
Which is a weird lesson. I always encourage kids to talk with whomever they want, but there's a gulf of difference between conversation and taking gifts or leaving with someone.

The latter two are always no-nos for kids, and even adults should be very wary of taking that sort of risk.

Because you never know what kids might say to them.

"My dad works at a bank and we have THREE cars!"
 
I agree, I was just telling a story where our society current state leads to illogical behaviour, still totally understandable from a social point of view.

Better safe than sorry?

Would you let your SO get in a car with someone else? Would you call her illogical for not doing so?

nobody is willing to enter a car when the guy in the car has a gun. Am I clear now ?

Why you changing your story? Nobody said anything about a car with a guy with a gun. You wouldn't even know he had a gun.

Like you haven't been clear this entire time lol
 
Kids can be easily manipulated an coerced that's why just not talking straight up is good advices for children

Because you never know what kids might say to them.
"My dad works at a bank and we have THREE cars!"

Is it worth framing all strangers as potential predators just to avoid the <1% chance your kid will run into someone who actually means them harm?
Factual answer from the perspective of their social and emotional development: NO!

Worse yet, what if your child is actually lost or feels endangered, but has no idea of how to seek and/or accept help from others? Stranger Danger for kids is a myth, there's zero data that indicates children are placed at risk in any way by speaking to strangers.

Adult women, on the other hand, are waaaay more likely to be "groomed" and preyed upon by opportunistic men masquerading as nice/concerned bystanders.
 

Ahgod

Neo Member
I used to split checks on first dates because that just seemed fair to me. I can see an argument for paying because of like the gender wage gap or something but that gets into some weeds I'm not knowledgeable about. I hold doors open for people but I don't care if they're a woman or not. Im guessing if people really examined it they'd find their intentions with most of this stuff are not so pure.
 

nekkid

It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
People who are damning you for not using "chivalry" are probably people not worth your time or attention, so who gives a fuck.

They definitely exist, though.

I’ve experienced sarcastic comments from women for not helping them with some minor inconvenience of theirs.
 
I agree, I was just telling a story where our society current state leads to illogical behaviour, still totally understandable from a social point of view.
Nowhere in the history of the world has it been a good idea for women to get into a strangers car or horse carriage or whatever. Certainly not when asked out of the blue. This has nothing to do with the current state. You seem to hold a strange romantic view of a society that never has and never will exist.
 

Steel

Banned
In the country where I live, gun carry is not allowed. Of course, US ...

You're being stupid obtuse. They could have a knife. They could have an illegal gun. They could just take off top speed and kidnap the passenger. They could chloroform the passenger. This stuff actually happens.
 

SpaceWolf

Banned
I agree, I was just telling a story where our society current state leads to illogical behaviour, still totally understandable from a social point of view.

A woman who's on her own who declines to get into a car with a strange man isn't "illogical" behavior. It's basic common sense, in almost any culture or society. What's illogical here has been your strangely resentful and chastising attitude towards the woman refusing to climb into your car.
 
Is it worth framing all strangers as potential predators just to avoid the <1% chance your kid will run into someone who actually means them harm?
Factual answer from the perspective of their social and emotional development: NO!

Worse yet, what if your child is actually lost or feels endangered, but has no idea of how to seek and/or accept help from others? Stranger Danger for kids is a myth, there's zero data that indicates children are placed at risk in any way by speaking to strangers.

Adult women, on the other hand, are waaaay more likely to be "groomed" and preyed upon by opportunistic men masquerading as nice/concerned bystanders.

The thing is the lesson is never framed as 'ALL' strangers are dangerous, just the ones that approach you for no reason. Kids know the difference between approaching a stranger and a stranger approaching them.

If the child is actually lost or feels endangered most would start crying which would gather alot of people's attention anyway.

Personal experience? I was lost as kid after missing my bus stop. Didn't hesitate to ask people for help.
 
I had a lady yell at me for holding a door open for her.

So when I was leaving, and she was leaving at the same time, though this time with her hands full of bags and what not, I let the door close behind me. She started screaming and berating me for not holding the door open for her in that situation.
 

Caturro

Member
I had a lady yell at me for holding a door open for her.

So when I was leaving, and she was leaving at the same time, though this time with her hands full of bags and what not, I let the door close behind me. She started screaming and berating me for not holding the door open for her in that situation.

Just sounds like a shitty person. I gotta say I've never experienced this with either men or women.
 
They definitely exist, though.

I've experienced sarcastic comments from women for not helping them with some minor inconvenience of theirs.

I'll never forget the day a girl demanded that I gave her my seat because 'gentlemen' and everyone in class backed her on it.

This was back in secondary school.

I became an outcast, but she still didn't get my seat.
 

nekkid

It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
I had a lady yell at me for holding a door open for her.

So when I was leaving, and she was leaving at the same time, though this time with her hands full of bags and what not, I let the door close behind me. She started screaming and berating me for not holding the door open for her in that situation.

This is almost exactly the scenario I meant in my comments above.

I’ll still carry on doing it, until someone’s rude and I’ve got the opportunity, like you, to rub their faces in their own behaviour.
 

Soran

Member
In my first year of college I ended in a situation where I had to walk for 40 minutes under pouring rain, I was beyond soaked but a man ended helping me with his umbrella. But it was different in my situation because I was with my sister in a very busy street, also he was a old guy and he even give me a candy so he was obviously being fatherly at opposed of being an opportunistic creep like most of young dudes end being when they are trying to be chivalrous.
 

nekkid

It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
In my first year of college I ended in a situation where I had to walk for 40 minutes under pouring rain, I was beyond soaked but a man ended helping me with his umbrella. But it was different in my situation because I was with my sister in a very busy street, also he was a old guy and he even give me a candy so he was obviously being fatherly at opposed of being an opportunistic creep like most of young dudes end being when they are trying to be chivalrous.

A stranger gave you candy...?

I’m obviously joking
 

mid83

Member
Do people consider it sexist that I open my girlfriend's car door for her, hold the door open and let her walk in and out of a building first, carry her bags when we are leaving the store and so on?

I do hold doors and such for people all the time, but it doesn't matter if it's a man or woman.
 
Why are we letting strange people into our car in the first place? You don't know that person, you don't know anything about them. He/She might have a gun in their coat or purse, or a knife, or even just mace. They could pull that on you and demand you pull over and get out, steal your car, make you leave your phone and wallet so you can't call for help.
 
Top Bottom