Is refusing to date people of certain races racist?

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Aselith said:
It's a large number of smaller cultures and the OP's friend just happens to fear every single one of them on their own merits.

It's the unknown, you see.
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I'm not defending the OP. If you'd bother reading my posts in the thread you'll find I've been quite strongly on the side that yes it is racist.

I'm sorry that cultures don't work the way you want them to so I can't point to a specific thing because that's a nonsense answer to the question of what is a culture.

Aselith said:
So within the context of this thread, is the way the OP used it problematic? You didn't give an opinion.
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I didn't even see the OP use the phrase. All I'm saying is that the phrase in itself is not necessarily problematic. Obviously essentially everything can be used in a problematic way, context is your friend there, but some ideas are also problematic in themselves. This is not one of them.
 
What’s the difference between refusing to date somebody of a particular race and refusing to be friends with somebody of a particular race? I think we pretty much all agree that the latter is certainly racist. The former is more or less the same concept.
 
Atmej said:
Do you date based on physical preferences?
Does race affect physical appearance?
There's your answer.

Bu, bu, bu each individual is special and unique.
Are you telling me if I showed a picture of someone and asked you what race they were, you wouldn't be able to answer in most cases? That's what people mean. They aren't going through family registers to check if their potential partner is "pure" or some shit. And if they are, then yeah, they are racist.
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How would they make that choice of dismissing said people of said race?

Is it facial features? Which facial features that all people of that race have?

Is it skin tone? Which skin tone that every person of that race has?

Or is it simply 'Because they're X race'? In which case it is 100% a racist preference.

But hey, it's just a preference, you can have whichever you want. That doesn't make it any less racist.
Two Words said:
What’s the difference between refusing to date somebody of a particular race and refusing to be friends with somebody of a particular race? I think we pretty much all agree that the latter is certainly racist. The former is more or less the same concept.
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Because you can hide behind the "it's just a preference" when it comes to attraction. Whereas when you apply it to friendship, it just sounds...racist. Hmm, curious.
 
Atmej said:
Do you date based on physical preferences?
Does race affect physical appearance?
There's your answer.

Bu, bu, bu each individual is special and unique.
Are you telling me if I showed a picture of someone and asked you what race they were, you wouldn't be able to answer in most cases? That's what people mean. They aren't going through family registers to check if their potential partner is "pure" or some shit. And if they are, then yeah, they are racist.

Why is a preference for height, hair color, eye color, age, etc. okay but race is somehow taboo? If you have your own "beauty dating standards", you really have no grounds to talk. But if you would anyone regardless of appearance, then congrats, you are better than 99,999999999999999% of the population.
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We all could show you pictures of dozens of people all belonging to the same race that have a wide wide range of features. Unless your idea of race is largely defined by dark skin light skin you really dont know anything about how a black person looks or an asian person looks because you know their race.
 
Maybe this in a way is racism in some quasi way, but I prefer dating outside my race just for the fact that I feel I learn a whole bunch of things about other cultures.
 
Cocaloch said:
I didn't even see the OP use the phrase. All I'm saying is that the phrase in itself is not necessarily problematic.
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Protip: Whenever people seem to be responding about the specific usage of a phrase, go check out how it was used before you jump in on it not being generally a problem.
 
Yes.


Having a preference for certain ethnicities/facial and body features isn’t racist IMO but singling our an ethnicity and refusing to date anyone from that ethnicity is racist. I haven’t found an ethnicity of women I wouldn’t date. I have preference for certain looks in women but it’s not based on race/skin color.
 
Atmej said:
Do you date based on physical preferences?
Does race affect physical appearance?
There's your answer.

Bu, bu, bu each individual is special and unique.
Are you telling me if I showed a picture of someone and asked you what race they were, you wouldn't be able to answer in most cases? That's what people mean. They aren't going through family registers to check if their potential partner is "pure" or some shit. And if they are, then yeah, they are racist.

Why is a preference for height, hair color, eye color, age, etc. okay but race is somehow taboo? If you have your own "beauty dating standards", you really have no grounds to talk. But if you would anyone regardless of appearance, then congrats, you are better than 99,999999999999999% of the population.
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Let’s say I tell you that I know a girl who is into you and I think you would be into her too. I describe her and you’re liking what you’re hearing. I mention that she is black and you say “Oh I don’t date black women. No thanks.” Is that racist in your mind? Because that is the situation essentially in the OP.
 
ChainedMaster said:
If a person does simply doesn't find a certain race attractive, no. If the sole reason is race, yes.
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How do you find a certain race attractive or unattractive? People of the same race vary greatly in appearance. If the color of somebody’s skin is enough to make you find them unattractive and causes you to ignore all other factors, then you’ve got a deep issue with skin color.
 
Cocaloch said:
I'm not defending the OP. If you'd bother reading my posts in the thread you'll find I've been quite strongly on the side that yes it is racist.

I'm sorry that cultures don't work the way you want them to so I can't point to a specific thing because that's a nonsense answer to the question of what is a culture.
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Black is an all encompassing term for a group of people, culture is a broad collection of artistic & intellectual feats from a single group.

You simply cannot point to "black culture" to be representative of any one person without generalizing them in some way.

You framed it as a description, what does "black culture" describe?
 
ChainedMaster said:
If a person does simply doesn't find a certain race attractive, no. If the sole reason is race, yes.
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I find it impossible that anyone who is capable of feeling sexual attraction could find the ENTIRETY of a certain race (we should really be using ethnicity but whatever) unattractive.
 
Cocaloch said:
Using the phrase is not problematic in itself. I thought that was pretty clear from the fact that I said:
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What does black culture describe? All you're saying is essentially black people exist and therefore they define black culture. Wtf does that mean in the context of the OP?
 
Two Words said:
How do you find a certain race attractive or unattractive? People of the same race vary greatly in appearance. If the color of somebody’s skin is enough to make you find them unattractive and causes you to ignore all other factors, then you’ve got a deep issue with skin color.
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Skin color isn't the only Hallmark of race. I've known multiple girls who told me they've never seen an attractive Asian man. I, of course, didn't jump at their throats and call them racist.
 
ChainedMaster said:
Skin color isn't the only Hallmark of race. I've known multiple girls who told me they've never seen an attractive Asian man. I, of course, didn't jump at their throats and call them racist.
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They could have seen all of 3 asian people in their lives for all we know. It's not a real argument to imply that X race is not attractive based on feature set when feature set is not racialized because race is not genetic. Race is a social construct. How it's define has little to do with a persons full feature set.

I don't get what is so difficult to understand about that.
 
Not being attracted to an individual is human nature, establishing a rule against a race though? Yeah, there's no way that's not racist at its core.
 
ChainedMaster said:
By not being attracted to anyone from that race?
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Never have or never could? Like someone fairly light skinned like a Halle Berry type is still no? What about someone half black? They've never seen a black woman and thought she was hot?

The problem is there's too much variety for the whole race being unattractive to you making sense. That's why it feels racist.

What if the person saw someone that looks white and is attactive to them but then finds out she is half black? Does that change things?

Further investigation would be needed on this person. You know?
 
ChainedMaster said:
Skin color isn't the only Hallmark of race. I've known multiple girls who told me they've never seen an attractive Asian man. I, of course, didn't jump at their throats and call them racist.
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Is your silent acceptance of racism supposed to be cool? Good job not making waves I guess.
 
Alright fuck it we haven't hit the "post attractive people" part imma do it

EXO-image-exo-36341217-333-500.jpg


Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 
Aselith said:
Never have or never could? Like someone fairly light skinned like a Halle Berry type is still no? What about someone half black? They've never seen a black woman and thought she was hot?

The problem is there's too much variety for the whole race being unattractive to you making sense. That's why it feels racist.

What if the person saw someone that looks white (hot) but then finds out she is half black? Does that change things?

Further investigation would be needed on this person. You know?
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Sure. But if someone tells me "I just don't find Asians attractive" or "I just don't find blacks attractive" I'll hold off on labeling them as racist. Is it suspect? Perhaps. But I don't know what they're thinking about that race so I'll take their word for it rather than assume something simply because i can't apply it to myself.
 
ChainedMaster said:
Sure. But if someone tells me "I just don't find Asians attractive" or "I just don't find blacks attractive" I'll hold off on labeling them as racist. Is it suspect? Perhaps. But I don't know what they're thinking about that race so I'll take their word for it rather than assume something simply because i can't apply it to myself.
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I won't, because that's racist. The fact that you can't even freely admit that it is at least suspect is well... suspect.
 
ChainedMaster said:
Sure. But if someone tells me "I just don't find Asians attractive" or "I just don't find blacks attractive" I'll hold off on labeling them as racist. Is it suspect? Perhaps. But I don't know what they're thinking about that race so I'll take their word for it rather than assume something simply because i can't apply it to myself.
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"I don't find blacks attractive" huh.

LookAtMeGo said:
You're not helping, frozenprince. lol
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I'm helping me, and really, isn't that whats most important?
 
ChainedMaster said:
Skin color isn't the only Hallmark of race. I've known multiple girls who told me they've never seen an attractive Asian man. I, of course, didn't jump at their throats and call them racist.
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I don’t see how the way you responded to their racist remarks defines whether or not they were racist remarks.
 
When someone tells me "I don't find Asians attractive" I always follow with "Why?". And the response is always "I dunno I just don't". This confirms to me they harbour some dumb racial stereotypes. I really don't care about what is in their heart. This is a big planet. If you wanna swear off an entire race or put an asterisk beside someones attractiveness based on race then you better have a more competent answer than "Thats just how I feel"
 
Yes, the only argument is if you're living in a rural place with no exposure to the media and Internet. The ignorance exception.

So especially everyone is foreign to you except your tribe.

If you're open to some races but not every one of them, you need to examine your "preferences" and how society "conditioned" them.
 
Draper said:
Maybe this in a way is racism in some quasi way, but I prefer dating outside my race just for the fact that I feel I learn a whole bunch of things about other cultures.
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No, because you're not saying you would never date your own race. The problem with somebody saying they would never date a certain race is that they are using generalizations and stereotypes to arrive at the conclusion. They are dismissing individuals and instead grouping together an entire people which is what racism is all about. If you can say for certain you would never date such and such race then you have obviously drawn some conclusions about said race.
 
backslashbunny said:
Oddly enough I would have run like hell if someone considered dating me as some sort of "I'd like to be exposed to new cultures."

I know you don't mean this is in a "that's the only reason why I prefer dating outside my race" sort of thing but just, personally, I really don't want to be someone's exotic experience.



Maybe I just feel strongly about this because Asian women have a history of being seen as exotic in the US.
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I was thinking the same thing tbh, but screw it, it's been a long day.
 
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