CriginsMcJuggs
Member
Good communication isn't a "band-aid" for relationships. it's like, the whole thing
Is there ever a romantic way to request oral?
- Thread starter EleventhDoctor
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Good communication isn't a "band-aid" for relationships. it's like, the whole thing
Sounds like she's got issues not concerning your wang in her mouth.
On the other hand, it is often joked about that once women are married they pretty much just need to lock it down. Missionary only and maybe twice a month.
or
Ask for anal and take Oral as a lesser of two evils
or have her catch you trying to give yourself head. She'll pity you so much she'll do the work herself.
On the other hand, it is often joked about that once women are married they pretty much just need to lock it down. Missionary only and maybe twice a month.
or
Ask for anal and take Oral as a lesser of two evils
or have her catch you trying to give yourself head. She'll pity you so much she'll do the work herself.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Great post. But ops dodging, has to keep the matrix going.
Why does this happen in the first place? Do people stop loving sex... so bad that they get offended?
Or maybe she's just uncomfortable with something, so it might not be her, but you. But you say she doesn't usually like you going down on her, so I don't know...
You guy's need to work on communication, go to a sex counselor or something. You are going to resent her for not doing and she is going to resent you for always bringing it up. If you don't get everything out on the table, you guys will resent each other and then divorce. I nipped in the butt a similar problem to this early in my relationship, and things have gotten better. Better get to talking.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Not all of us who have been saying similar things as Devo are as young.
I've been married for 9 years, was with her for 8 years before that, and have 2 kids. We don't have issues figuring things out, even in cases where either one of us may not be in the mood.
Devolution
Member
I don't think you're in any place to talk down to people if you haven't figured out in 9 years how to get a hummer from your wife.
Not all of us who have been saying similar things as Devo are as young.
I've been married for 9 years, was with her for 8 years before that, and have 2 kids. We don't have issues figuring things out.
What's with the age condescension? I was in a relationship for 8 years. Just because we weren't married. Pssh.
Why did you make this thread if you're going to belittle people who are just trying to help you?
EleventhDoctor
Banned
I'm not dodging for gods sake. Believe me I'm a big believer in therapy-we've been to marriage counseling before and it was successful and we've each gone to individual therapy and had great success.
But if my wife is telling me to trust her that nothing is wrong, then yes I feel therapy and counseling could be needed. That being said-I think my situation is a lot more common than you're making it out to be-and sometimes there's no hidden reason, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, if you'll pardon the pun.
But if my wife is telling me to trust her that nothing is wrong, then yes I feel therapy and counseling could be needed. That being said-I think my situation is a lot more common than you're making it out to be-and sometimes there's no hidden reason, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, if you'll pardon the pun.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
It was in context to the rest of his point, as there's a noticeable difference in sex drive in your mid to late 30s and later compared to your teens/20s, especially after kids. Not meaning to knock relationship experience that can be accrued regardless of age.
Devolution
Member
You never answered my question. Did you allow her to be the sole initiator for years?
Sure but you can also lose some sex drive being with the same person for a long time. Or just not communicating well. Besides has he said his age yet? I know people who were married at like 18.
This happened to me for a little while, but guess what OP?
We acted like adults, sat down, and talked about it. Turns out, we were both doing things that the other person didn't like, like an actual relationship.
Now after having a grown up talk and working things out, I get a BJ pretty much nightly before bed. It's awesome.
We acted like adults, sat down, and talked about it. Turns out, we were both doing things that the other person didn't like, like an actual relationship.
Now after having a grown up talk and working things out, I get a BJ pretty much nightly before bed. It's awesome.
...Eh?
f you say she liked it once but not anymore, she's most likely upset with something about you, not sexually, but as a man, as a person. She doesn't want oral because she doesn't like your cock anymore which points at the problem more related to affection, not so much to sex.
That would be my first guess, but what do I know.
That would be my first guess, but what do I know.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
And the first part of your post isn't condescension? You literally don't know what op is going through because you haven't experienced it. Has nothing to do with him coaxing a hummer out of his wife. Op could be the perfect husband/lover/friend and she still might not give it up, and it isn't because they're not compatible or she doesn't feel sexy. Not every marriage works off the same formula, and things change in a variety of ways over time. Your high school romance experience doesn't apply to this, sorry. It can apply to a multitude of other things, but this very specific issue, nope.
A good poster
Banned
Same here. It's such an art.
Rhomega Beta
Member
oh i sincerely doubt that.
Devolution
Member
He's here, asking a forum for their advice and then being a sarcastic condescending ass when they don't assume what he's already done or aren't married as long as he is. Sides he won't answer questions and just dodge, dodge, dodge. My patience has worn thin.
If that turns both of them on, where's the problem?
EleventhDoctor
Banned
In all seriousness dude, fuck off.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
How you gonna play yo luigi bro like dat?
I don't think he was being an ass, just that there's probably few people here who actually do exactly get what the op is going through. It's a situation that is a bit more unique than "you're not communicating" or "do it for her first". Either way, we won't be able to fix his issues. If your patience has worn, to the next thread.
Op, are you at all, even remotely.. charming?
I was in a similar situation with my ex girlfriend of 5 years; and cuddling, watching her shitty reality tv shows, getting her food in bed almost ALWAYS led to sex or a blowjob.
and lots of drinking. do you guys drink on the weekend? alcohol on the weekend=blowjobs.
I was in a similar situation with my ex girlfriend of 5 years; and cuddling, watching her shitty reality tv shows, getting her food in bed almost ALWAYS led to sex or a blowjob.
and lots of drinking. do you guys drink on the weekend? alcohol on the weekend=blowjobs.
A good poster
Banned
damn
freenudemacusers
Member
lol op. sorry.
(lol)
(lol)
There is absolutely nothing that OP is posting to suggest:
1. Hes mature enough to have the conversation.
2. He is having the conversation, specifically about why oral sex offends her.
3. He is having the right conversation about why she always initiates, and his concerns.
You're projecting a lot of fluff on him for the sake of #teammarriage but OP's doing a perfect job explaining why his marriage has gone stale and sad. There is nothing that OP has said to suggest anything you're posting. A whole lot of things could be possibilities, well, minus blow jobs in ops case, but I don't see where any of what you're saying pertains to OP in this specific thread.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Yeah thanks for the advice. Sorry if people felt I was dodging any questions I tried to answer most , but I do appreciate everyone's sincere advice and relatable stories. Yeah, the condescending attitude from people is wearing thin, so I'll drop out-but yeah I agree a return visit to our therapist is in order.
velociraptor
Junior Member
fucking el oh el.
Devolution
Member
You're right a bunch of us don't deal with 9 years of being offended at the idea of a blowjob.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Sorry if I seem defensive but I answered your question earlier about being an advocate for therapy and how we have both gone individually in the past and it was successful-and that I haven't ruled out future therapy either.
But feel free to ignore this again and beat the drum about how I'm an immature, clueless ape who doesn't even consider speaking to my wife about these serious issues.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Actually it's what you're saying that I think doesn't pertain at all to op's situation, especially if you really read his posts. But, we can disagree on it. I have no reason or want to project, though I always think it's cute when people accuse others of it on here, especially under the guise of anonymity. For all you know I've never even been married. =P
IISANDERII
Member
You are completely wrong. Perhaps you can say it wouldn't work with your wife, but don't be conditioned to believe that this isn't going on with many other couples.
PJV3
Member
Sometimes words are the problem, his wife might be into cuckolding or something, she could be sexually repressed and needs dirty action.
Or she just might not like sucking cock.
Mister Wilhelm
Member
ICE COLD.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Eh, if you've been married for 9 years, you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells...
PsihoPerihelion
Member
"I have you some milk, a pair of eggs and a damn fine piece of meat for ya"
Be aggressive and sexual with her. Fuck her stupid one day out of the blue and she might start getting into it more.
triplestation
Member
After nine years, you should be walking on sunshine.
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