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WCW Thunder 7/5/2000
The go home show for the Bash At The Beach.
EARLIER TODAY. Jeff and The Cat argued about stuff and RATINGS. Getting sick of hearing RATINGS talked about constantly.
Jeff comes to the ring. He's the greatest WCW Champion of all time. He invites Hulk Hogan to the ring tonight! This brings Cat out. He already told Jeff earlier that this wasn't going to happen. Speaking of ratings, he's going to put on a karate demonstration tonight. He also books a tag match of Booker/Buff vs Kanyon/Shane and the winner of the fall will go on to face Jeff Jarrett tonight for the title.
Show run down. We'll also get the return of The Demon vs Big Vito and Rick Steiner vs Mike Awesome. JTB's injury has removed him from his title match at the Bash. Goldberg and Nash were both told not to show up to Thunder.
TO THE TANNING SALON. The Perfect Event go tanning. With their title belts on. What? Woody locked them in their beds and turned them up full blast.
TO THE BACK. Jeff Jarrett is throwing stuff around when Kanyon Kanyon Cuts a random guy. BANG. I might go back and record all of these and put them in one clip for the youtubes.
Disco vs Rey vs Lance Storm vs Kidman
Any man can tag any man. I think. The Animals attack Lance before Kidman comes out. Kidman and Lance start out. Bunch of near falls until Rey and Disco get involved in it. Rey tags himself in. Now Disco and Rey are double teaming Lonce. Lance gets his boot up for the bronco buster. TO THE DICK!
He tags Disco in and now the FILTHY ANIMALS EXPLOOOODDDEE!!! Lance wins with the rolling half crab on Disco. Kidman tried to break it up, but didn't make it in quick enough. Decent enough.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Booker and Buff. The two guys who killed the WCW brand. Booker thinks he's going to write a book of his own. It's about Kanyon. The tag champs are cut out of their tanning beds. The trainer stooges off Woody.
The Cat comes out for his karate demonstration. His opponents are the Jung Dragons. They attack Cat. Kaz kicks Cat's fucking face off. Jesus. Cat bails out and says this is just a demonstration. This is silly. Cat throws Kaz over the ropes by his balls. The fuck, man. Cat dances.
TO THE PRODUCTION TRUCK. The champs confront Woody.
TO THE BACK. Cat gives the Dragons a bonus for keeping him on his toes.
Vito vs The Demon WCW Hardcore Championship
Vito finds the coffin in the back and starts hitting it, but Demon attacked from behind. I guess that is a SWERVE. I believe this has already lasted longer and been more intense than the match with Vampiro. Vamp walks out with a shovel. He breaks it on the Demon. Vito retains. Vamp has a microphone. It's done Sunday night. I hope so.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene is with Mike Awesome. Mike Awesome should never, ever have been allowed to talk. He plays a clearly doctored tape of him "beating" Scott on Nitro. "What a freakin' mullet!" Shane and Kanyon argue about who is going to win the match. Kanyon thought about hitting the Kanyon Cutter, but got caught.
The Perfect Event vs Woody/Brian Adams
Woody gets his own music. What. He takes his shirt off and dances to the ring. Back slaps and chops. Woody and Crush do high times to Meat and Woody pins him by tea bagging him.
TO THE BACK. Vito sees Funk and hides so he can ambush him. After a break, Vito leaves.
Shane Douglas/Kanyon vs Buff Bagwell/Booker T
Winner of the fall gets a title shot at Jarrett tonight. I'm only here for the Kanyon Cutter. Shane won't tag in. Kanyon won't tag out when Shane finally wants in. Booker wins with a MURDEROUS Book End on Kanyon. Booker will get a title shot tonight.
TO THE BACK. MIA meeting. Gunns and Chavo vs Juvi and Tygress tonight. Crowbar arrived and seems to be in pain. Daffney was watching him. Mike Awesome goes into Rick's dressing room and steals his sprays something on Rick's sunglasses.
Lt. Loco/Major Gunns vs Juvi Juice/Tygress.
Thank god the Animals got a jobber entrance because I fucking hate that song. Juvi is wearing seat covers from a 69 Pinto according to Brain. I have to agree. Those pants are terrible. Tygress is hot. Gunns kicks Juice in the fruits. Feline fight! Gunns slams Tygress, Juvi tries to Juvi Drive her, hits a sit out Curtain Call on Juvi, Tygress trips Gunns and hurts her eye or something, which allows Juvi to hit Chavo with the belt for the win. Juvi was definitely the ugliest woman in the ring.
TO THE BACK. Rick Steiner puts his classes on and falls down and tries to wash his eyes out. Gene talks to Booker about his title match tonight. He's going to win.
A weird recap video of Sting/Vamp/Demon with a lot of stock hospital room shots. We were supposed to have Awesome/Steiner right now, but since Rick can't see, we'll go to an interview with Jim Duggan instead.
TO THE DUGGANS. Tenay interviews Jim and his wife. He's physically okay. Emotionally, eh. We haven't seen the last of ol' Hacksaw, tough guys. HOOOO!
TO THE BACK. Crowbar is looking for David. He finds David and Stacy and beats David out of the room. Stacy chases with a pipe. Gene is with Double J. He's over looking Booker on purpose, because he can. The trainer checks on Rick's eyes.
David Flair vs Crowbar.
Crowbar beats David all the way to the ring, where a ref is waiting. David has the figure four on. Stacy comes out with the pipe, which he grabs for leverage. She gets in the ring with pipe, which distracts the ref enough to let David hit a low blow. Daffney comes out and they have a tug of war. A cat fight almost breaks out, but Stacy stops when Daffney pulls out the hair clippers. Crowbar hits David with the pipe and hits a sitout gourbuster for the win. Crowbar makes David admit to cutting Daffney's hair. But he blames Stacy. He also forces David to admit to cheating on Daffney. Daffney slaps David and storms off.
TO THE BACK. Awesome and Rick head to the ring. Stacy is with the trainer. David freaks out that he's touching her leg. He shaves the trainer's head.
Rick Steiner vs Mike Awesome.
Awesome gets bumped face first into a table in the corner. Rick gets a chair, but Slick takes it away. Awesome sprays whatever in the eyes again and pins Rick. Well, that was short and pointless.
TO THE BACK. Booker and Jeff head to the ring area.
Jeff Jarrett vs Booker T WCW Championship
I want to play VPW2. Haven't played it for a long time. I want to powerbomb people with Mike Awesome and hit a Burning Hammer on someone. They brawl for a bit until Jeff locks in a figure four. It's so weird seeing Booker with his fade and mustache again. Book gets out and they do a double clothesline spot. Axe kick, spinarooni, side slam. Very near fall. Booker tries a side kick and gets crotched. He falls to the floor and KANYON CUTTER OUTTA NOWHERE BRO! Booker is rolled into the ring and pinned. Jeff Jarrett retains. Tony is super pissed at this and how Booker got jobbed out. Cat comes out and restarts the match due to the no interference rule. Booker gets a series of near falls. Missile dropkick, but Jeff's leg is on the ropes. A ref bump. In a Jeff Jarrett match? Book End, but the ref is out. Cat tries to take Robinson's shirt off , but it gets stuck on his head or something, so Booker has to hit a side kick in the ring and try the count again. Jeff still kicked out. Jeff hits Cat with his guitar and leaves.
As far as go home goes go, this was pretty much fluff. Cat is a weird commissioner. He's clearly a heel (although I don't know about that after this show), but will fuck over the heels any time he needs to if it means ratings. And no interference rules that he actually punishes people, even his buddies, for breaking.
Imagine in the go home show before Summerslam that WWE would run a multi segment angle and match featuring a production truck guy. And not only that, but run it for weeks. Woody has had more screen time than a good number of wrestlers in the past 2-3 weeks.