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WCW Monday Nitro 7/10/2000
At BATB, Russo SHOT on Hogan, which led to Hulk and Eric Bischoff leaving the company. Booker T was then placed in the main event against Jeff Jarrett, where he won his first WCW Championship.
The first few minutes of the show had a recap of Booker's career in WCW and talking about his title win. Booker comes to the ring. He wants to thank everyone. He only has one regret, which is that his mother didn't get to see him win the title. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. He talks about Goldberg and calls him a mark for himself and the business. He brings his wife, Levestia T, into the ring. Stevie Ray comes out. He is proud of his baby brother. Midajah comes out with a mic. She takes issue with Booker's wife. Scott Steiner is the only real man in the WCW. The WCW. The WCW. The WCW. Steiner attacks from behind with a bat on Harlem Heat.
TO THE BACK. Booker tells Stevie to take Levestia away, because he's going to handle this shit tonight. Paula Poundstone is with Jeff Jarrett. He wants his rematch tonight. Too late, Cat already booked Booker against Steiner. Speaking of Steiner, he ambushes Jeff and knocks over the interview set.
Shane Douglas vs Crowbar
Pre match promo. Torrie implies that Kidman has a tiny dick. Well, he is a kid, man. Jeez. This was a match. Torrie got involved a lot. Shane wins with the Franchiser, which is Disco's special move from WCW/NWO Revenge. Buff runs in after the match. What a sore loser.
TO THE BACK. Paula Poundstone talks to Kidman. Skanks like Torrie are a dime a dozen. Jeff shoves Kidman out of the way. Then they brawl. A LIMO has arrived. SMOOTH has a gold record that he gives to Tank Abbott, who is wearing a tux with basketball shorts and loafers. Jeff bursts into Cat's office, hangs up his phone, and demands his title match. Cat books him against Kidman instead.
3 Count and Tank come out.
Tank makes Evan climb a ladder to hang the gold record. The Jung Dragons come out and attack. Tank waits for his spot to fuck them up when THE GREAT MUTA shows up to spray him with the mist! Huge Muta chants start up and the Dragons steal the gold record. Muta!
TO THE BACK. DDK calls Paula Poundstone "bro". He's mad that he pinned Booker before he won the title and he's going to make Cat feel the bang. Goldberg has arrived.
Jeff Jarrett vs Kidman.
Kidman gets hip tossed to the floor with a splat. Signature bumps are weird to me, especially when they're stupid and big bumps. Torrie comes out and distracts Billy. They argue a bit until Shane attacks. Kidman fights him off, Torrie low blows him, and Shane DDTs him on the floor. Kidman barely kicked out. Really weird looking can't powerbomb Kidman spot. It was like...slow motion and awkward. Jeff reverses the tornado bulldog into the Stroke for the win. I feel like this is his first clean win since October, even if there was interference. It at least didn't lead to the finish.
TO THE BACK. Scott Steiner attacks Kanyon. Mike Awesome hits on another fat chick. Cat stops by to give him the US Championship. Mike Awesome turns it down. He wants to earn the belt, not have it handed to him. Since when? Booker heads to the ring.
Mike Awesome vs Booker T WCW Championship
Wait. Cat said Booker vs Steiner was the main event tonight. Why is this happening? Tony says that Booker got the first shot at the title at the Bash. It wasn't even his first title shot that month. I guess he forgot calling Jeff vs Booker for the title on Thunder. You know, the show right before the BATB. Awesome actually broke a chair on Booker's back. But it was a pretty weak shot, so I don't know how the seat just broke. Maybe it was a Japanese chair. Why does Japan have chairs that pop apart, but make unbreakable tables? Mike almost wins the title with a big splash. I'm not sure if going from ECW Champion to WCW Champion was an upgrade or downgrade in 2000. Booker gets out of an Awesome Bomb and knocks Mike off the apron through a table. Tony keeps talking about how this could be the shortest reign ever. Does he not remember the multiple one hour title reigns just in the past year? Awesome gets out of all of Booker's moves until he hits a Book End for the win. Booker is successful in his first defense. Scott Steiner attacks and puts Booker in the Recliner. Mike Awesome saves Booker. Scott bails.
TO THE BACK. Cat is HOT and heads to the ring.
Cat comes out and says he's tired of Steiner interfering and putting people in the Steiner Recliner. He calls out Scotty. Scott comes out and says he'll shove a mic up Cat's ass. Cat calls him a stupid bitch and says he's going to kick his ass himself. He tried, but Steiner had him down on the mat choking. Booker comes out for the save when Kanyon attacks Booker. Then Jeff Jarrett comes out. Scott attacks Kanyon, Jeff and Kanyon attack Scott, and Booker ends up the only man in the ring. Cat books Steiner vs Kanyon vs Jarrett with the winner getting a title shot at New Blood Rising. Then Goldberg comes out. In sweats, a tank, and a fanny pack. Goldberg wants in. 4 way dance for the main event!
TO THE BACK. Goldberg is focused.
EARLIER TODAY. Norman was trying to train Ralphus by making him run stairs, do squats, and a pushup.
Big Vito vs Norman Smiley/Ralphus WCW Hardcore Championship
I swear Ralphus gains 5 pounds every show. Madden wonders how someone can let themselves get so out of shape. Oh, you. They head backstage so they can actually start the match. Ralphus stayed in the ring hiding under a table. Vito see's Ralphus and his giant ass sticking out and hits it with a crutch. Tony calls a "traffic cone enema move" when Vito hit a cone that placed pointing into Ralphus' phallus. Vito hits the big splash through a table again, but doesn't pin Ralphus. Norman comes back in and hits Vito with a chair, which causes him to fall on Ralphus for the pin. Norman was too busy wiggling to notice. Vito retains.
TO THE BACK. Cat is in the back with the Dragons attack. Paisley needs his shirt ironed. She asks Kiwi to do it. YOU DO NOTTA TALK TO THE KIWI LIKEA THAT. I forgot that Kiwi was a straight up rip off of Mango. A shot of the crowd shows Lenny Lane with a giant "USE ME" sign. Mark Madden says Lenny never gets used because of the fat cats that only show up once a month. The moral of the story is to not be a friend of Mark Madden. Apparently Lane had some words for Russo on the internet.
Lance Storm comes to the ring with a mic. USA chants. Wait, Lance came in as a face. He doesn't dance, he doesn't sing. He just wrestles. Canadian national anthem plays. A handful of people are actually standing and saluting. It actually plays all the way through.
Lance Storm vs The Artist.
I can't tell if Kiwi ironed Prince's puffy shirt. Paisley is on color. Kiwi maybe could be her purple passion fruit someday. "What's wrong with Lance Storm?" "He's a power ranger reject!" Lance never really struck me as a power ranger, but okay. This is super boring. Prince is such an uninteresting wrestler. Lance wins with the rolling crab.
TO THE BACK. Vampiro arrives in a hearse.
Kronik vs MIA WCW Tag Team Championships
Rey/Juvi/Tygress come out before the match. I hope all 3 are on color. At least Konnan isn't out here. Juvi and Rey were about to get involved when Jindrak and O'Haire show up to intercept them. They brawl in the crowd. Hard Cock hits the moonsault, but Crush breaks up the pin. High Times on Lash is saved by Hugh. Kronik then botches the fuck out of their new powerbomb doomsday device finish. Crush somehow couldn't hold Lash up in the powerbomb, so he fell backwards as Wrath jumped off the ropes. It was lol. Perfect Event attack Kronik after the match and are run of by MIA.
TO THE BACK. Vampiro is rubbing the casket.
Vampiro says he's a black lotus and can survive anything in the dark. The Demon comes out of the casket. Vampiro says Demon's soul now belongs to him. Asya tries to get a hold of Demon. Vamp then tells DALE to attack Asya, which he does. The lights go out, even though they were pretty much already in the dark anyway. Sting's music hits and a figure is in the ring with what looks to be some kind of mask. But since the whole fucking thing is in the dark, you can't see any of it anyway. Oh shit, it's Aces and 8s! So Vampiro and Demon are now on the same side? What the fuck? The night after they literally tried to murder each other in a fucking graveyard? For reals? And Sting, who suffered 3rd degree burns on 90% of his body can come back in a month to do Stinger splashes and death drops? What. This is the WORST. Fuck. Fuck this shit. This whole thing is one of the worst non-shit related angles I've ever seen.
Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Steiner vs Kanyon vs Goldberg Number One Contender Match
One of these is not like the other. Steiner and Kanyon start it out. An all heel fatal four way main event. Sounds like WCW. Remember when they had a 4 way ladder match with I think Goldberg, Hall, Sid, and Bret for the US Championship? I don't think it even lasted 5 minutes. This match will kind of be like that. Goldberg breaks up any and all pins, though he hasn't been in the ring at all officially. KANYON CUTTER on Jeff. But Goldberg had made a blind tag and crushes Kanyon with a spear.
Jackhammer, but Steiner makes the save. Oh fuck. Goldberg and Steiner get into it. BOMBS ON YOUR MOMS!!! Jarrett pins Kanyon and wins. But he wasn't the legal man. Goldberg was. This was about 5 minutes. I wish Goldberg would grow his Jewfro back out. That shit was glorious. I miss Goldberg.