WCW TUESDAY Nitro 7/18/2000
Nitro was preempted Monday for the acclaimed made for TV movie
Nuremberg Part 2, so we get a very special edition of Tuesday Nitro. Scott Steiner has again been suspended for his out of control actions over the past week, which included assaulting The Cat and trying to kill Mike Tenay.
TO THE BACK[/B]. Scott Steiner is busting up Booker T's new car! Rick convinces him to leave the scene.
Nitro Girls start the show. I've never seen any of these YAKS before. Cat comes out with the them all in tow. And he gets Kane pyro. The outfits the Nitro Girls are wearing are very unflattering on all of them. Whatevs, Cat is making a tournament for the US Championship. Kanyon vs Mike Awesome, Lance Storm vs Buff, Vampiro vs The Great Muta (!), Shane Douglas vs Kidman. The Steiner Brothers see a monitor and throw it. Rick is now in his wrestling gear where as just a few seconds ago he was in shorts and a t-shirt. Scott hits the ring. ONE security guard is place in between he and Cat, but he bails. Scott chokes and demands a title shot tonight here in Detroit. Booker hits the ring to bail Cat out. Rick attacks Booker from behind when Stevie Ray jumps up from the announce table to save Book. Cat books Scott against Goldberg!
TO THE BACK. Buff and Judy Bagwell are walking to the ring area. Judy is wearing a neck brace.
Show run down. The tournament matches, Cat will now be the ref in Goldberg vs Steiner. Jeff Jarrett hops the rail behind the announcers and hits Stevie Ray with a guitar. This was a warning shot to Booker. "So why don't you choke on that, Slapsteen." What?
Kanyon vs Mike Awesome
Kanyon has now dyed his hair. Before the match, Buff and his mom come to the ring. I wonder if Buff was aware that this whole thing was a giant rib on him and his mom. I wonder if Mike Awesome fucked Judy. I bet he thrilled that fat chick like no other. Weirdly, Buff calls his mom "babe". What the fuck. Gross. Awesome hits a big tope. I like that Mark Madden completely gave up and started wearing the fat guy uniform of Hawiian shirts and giant Bermuda shorts. KANYON CUTTER OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE! BANG!
Buff and Kanyon get into it on the floor. Judy attacked Kanyon and Kanyon did a kind of snap mare Kanyon Cutter thing. Basically Judy just fell and rolled on the ground. Buff hits the blockbuster, but Kanyon kicked out. He then almost wins with a backslide, but Mike kicks out and hits a release German. Running Awesome Bomb for the win. After the match, giant bloomers are thrown in the ring. Also, the whole thing with Mike Awesome throwing Kanyon off the cage 2 months ago wasn't mentioned once.
TO THE BACK. Paula Poundstone hits on Lance Storm. This shit is srs bidness, not the fucking dating game, you dumb cunt. That might be an exaggeration of what he said. I don't know. Lance was in a bad mood, maybe. Buff tells his brother John to take their mom to the car. John Bagwell is a fat red neck, which is hilarious to me. Buff actually ruined King of the Hill for me because I can only hear and think of Bobby whenever I see or hear Buff and vice versa. And I don't care much for Buff Bagwell. Kanyon made some kind of deal with SMOOVE.
Lance Storm vs Buff Bagwell
Buff attacks during the Canadian national anthem. I don't know, I think it is kind of ridiculous how often the "foreign country national anthem" has been used for cheap heel heat. No one boos at the Olympics when other national anthems are played. Because that's ridiculous. A video of the Bagwells in the parking lot played over the NitroVision, which allowed Lance to lock on the rolling crab for the win. I think SMOOVE stole John.
TO THE BACK. Cat is hitting on a Nitro Girl when the Dragon's attack. Cat is the only one that can hear the music. Stevie Ray bursts in and tries to kill the Dragons. Cat gets him to cool off because they're all friends. I actually enjoy the Cat/Dragons thing, too. It's so silly, but always enjoyable. Stevie wants Jarrett tonight and gets him. We're shown the footage of what happened with the Bagwells. SMOOVE told John Buff was in trouble, so he ran off. Kanyon then grabbed Judy and did a Kanyon Cutter off camera. That old YAK better learn how to take bump. She's ruining Kanyon Cutter gifs. Buff checked on his mom. Scott is waiting at the door for Goldberg to arrive.
The Great Muta vs Vampiro
MUTA! Tony says he worked for AJPW. What the fuck, Tony. WCW only had a working relationship with NJPW for a decade. Oh fuck me, ICP are back. Demon is with them. Vamp now wears a stone corset thing with a skirt to the ring. Under those he was wearing black gi pants. And new face paint. He's basically just ripping off Muta moves and mannerisms. Muta's baldness was weird. It's not normal male pattern baldness at all. The top of his head has stripes, basically. Muta misses the handspring elbow, but catches Vamp's spinning kick into a dragon screw. This was followed by the frankensteiner, back beaker, and moonsault for the win. MUTA! Vamp attacks Demon after the match. More importantly, MUTA.
TO THE BACK. Steiner murders Ralphus and Norman when they walked in the door. He straight up SHOOT punched Ralphus in the head after drilling him in the gunt with his pipe.
Shane Douglas vs Kidman
Shane is tired because he's been hitting that shit all week. Shane was so broken down at this point. 5 years of ECW destroyed him. Kidman kicked out of the Pittsburgh Plunge. Shane got bumped into Torrie on the apron, Kidman rolled him up, but Shane kicked out, which sent Kidman into the chair Torrie was holding. Shane wins with the Franchiser in an awkward match.
TO THE BACK. 3 Count heads to the ring in a ladder. Goldberg arrives talking on his phone. Scott Steiner is still at the door waiting for him.
Tank Abbott is in the ring. He introduces the best band in rock and roll history, 3 COUNT!!! They come out with a ladder. Shane's hair is terrible. 3 Count will face the Jung Dragons in a ladder match at New Blood Rising. However, the dragons interrupt this and a ladder match breaks out.
3 Count vs Jung Dragons Ladder Match
Madden's new name is Marshmallow Ass. Tank is on color. A jumping sequence happens that everyone missed and Evan then did the Terry Funk spinning spot with the ladder, taking everyone out. Evan is knocked off the ladder onto Tank. Evan immediately screams in pain and grabs his ankle. The Dragons get the gold record in about 3 minutes.
TO THE BACK. Scott Steiner missed Goldberg with the pipe and it took the whole locker room and security to break them up. Scott is throwing shit around in the back while Rick tries to tell him he can't keep doing this shit.
Mike Awesome vs The Great Muta
MUTA! "If you way a ton, Mike's the one." Mike does his catching bear hug suplex, which is pretty impressive because Muta is a big dude. Roll through into a dropkick. Muta ends up accidentally hitting Madden with the green mist. But he had sun glasses on, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Muta hits a top rope drop kick. Super frankensteiener! Running Awesome Bomb for the win! Decent enough. Madden leaves to get his shirt changed.
TO THE BACK. Buff is beating up SMOOVE when Kanyon makes the save. Madden goes to Kiwi to get his shirt cleaned, but he seems to be entranced by him. Then Paisley shows up trying to get her ripped skirt fixed, but The Artist drags her away.
Shane Douglas vs Lance Storm
Lance gets back dropped to the floor. As the brawl goes on out there, Torrie jumps on Lance's back. Shane with a top rope cross body. In 2013? Madden makes it back out with another terrible shirt. He looks like Garfield. 3 Amigos ending with a Falcon Arrow from Shane. Lance hasn't really had any offense yet. Kidman is sitting on the ramp eating popcorn. This distracts Shane enough to get a knee breaker and a superkick. But Shane kicks out. He tried to get Lance up for the Plunge, but his knee couldn't handle it. He did hit the belly to belly, though. Lance turns a roll up in the corner into the half crab for the win. This was actually pretty good for a 5 minute match on Nitro. Post match saw Kidman attempt to spank Torrie, but Lonce broke it up, only to get dropkicked.
TO THE BACK. Rick Steiner is talking to Midajah. Stevie Ray heads to the ring.
Jeff Jarrett vs Stevie Ray
I think it would have made more sense to have Harlem Heat vs The Steiner Brothers, but whatever. They immediately brawl out to the floor where Stevie tries to punch Jeff through the announce table. Jeff gets things turned around once they get in the ring. Rick Steiner comes down as Stevie hits the Slapjack. While Rick had the ref distracted, Midajah hit a double axe handle on Stevie and Jeff hit the stroke for the win. Booker comes out to fight them off.
TO THE BACK. Scott Steiner throws stuff and yells. Goldberg calmly stretches.
Mike Awesome vs Lance Storm.
One more chance to get on the Storm band wagon. "Turn that shit off or I'm gonna come over there and turn it off myself!" Oh, Mike. Why do people hate the Canadian anthem so much? Is it really any less lame than the Star Spangled Banner? Why do all national anthems kind of sound alike? Mike brings the chair into the match and ends up get leg dropped with his face on it. Pop up Awesome Bomb!
Lance gets his knees up on a frog splash and then botches a tornado DDT. I don't know what the hell happened there. I think the idea was that Awesome would hook the ropes and block it, but it just looked weird. Lance superplexes Awesome. Awesome gets locked in the half crab from an Awesome Bomb. Lance storm is your new US Champion! Two fat chicks get in the ring to console Mike Awesome.
TO THE BACK. Cat heads into Booker's locker room. He was wearing overalls with no shirt. This means he changed into that from his suit just to change into athletic pants and a ref shirt.
Scott Steiner vs Goldberg Special Guest Referee: The Cat
Booker T comes out for commentary. Scott muscles Bill into the corner and unloads on him. Down goes Goldberg! Goldberg comes back with a giant butterfly suplex. T-bone to Goldberg. Press slam to power slam on Scott. Spinning belly to belly. Steiner Recliner! Cat tells him to break the hold, so he drills Cat. Booker gets up to check on Cat. Then Booker and Scott brawl. Booker was supposed to leap frog Goldberg's spear, but didn't make it, so his leg got drilled. But he had to no sell it to hit a Harlem Side kick. Kevin Nash comes out with a beer and powerbombs both Steiner and Goldberg.