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WCW Thunder 7/19/2000
I hope Muta shows up tonight. I wish he had been doing the Shining Wizard at this time.
TO THE BACK. Harlem Heat has arrived. They'll have a tag match for the first time in many months against Rick Steiner and...Jeff Jarrett. Not the Steiner Brothers. Wat. Tenay is back this week.
Show starts with Jeff fucking Jarrett coming out for color. Brain is ALL over Tenay. It's awesome. "I saw my life flash before my eyes." "Couldn't have been long." "We call him Tonsils Tenay. *choking sounds*"
Crowbar vs Mike Sanders
Not sure if he is Above Average yet. Tenay says he is. Lenny Lane is out in the crowd with a big USE ME sign. Lenny Lane is the original Zack Ryder, and about as fucking annoying. Mike Sanders had been a security member with bleach blonde hair and facial hair. I was watching him on Saturday Night and it was really weird because he was a lot more athletic than I remembered. He did a moonsault off the apron and that stupid knee drop, though. Daffney hits the frankenscreamer. I don't know why it isn't considered interference when she does it. Crowbar sits Mike on a car on the floor and does a plancha, landing right on Mike's head. Sanders steals Jeff's guitar and uses it to get the win! This was a competitive match, but the commentary was all about Jeff and Booker and Tenay getting an attitude. This kind of reminded me of Mr. Kennedy's Velocity debut for some reason. Security got a hold of Lenny Lane.
Show run down. Doesn't really happen since Booker comes out as Jeff is heading to the back. Rick Steiner came out behind him. Stevie Ray came out and they all brawl. I've always wondered how Rick and Stevie felt being the clearly less talented and popular brothers of their teams.
TO THE BACK. Daffney runs off to defend Crowbar. Cat confronts Lenny Lane. He's here for the Laniancs. If Lenny can snatch the pebble from Cat's hand, he can get booked. He does it 3 times. So if he can beat The Wall in a tables match, he'll get his job back. But he was never fired, he's just not being booked. Those aren't the same.
Lance Storm comes to the ring. We get a full playing of the anthem. He gives a little history lesson of the US Championship. He renames the title the Canadian Heavyweight Championship.
As a wrestler, he respects wrestling fans, and he asks for security to bring a fan in for him to show his respect. It's a large woman. I can see where this is going. He makes fun of her weight, which brings Mike Awesome to the ring. Kanyon comes up and sizes the fat chick up for a Kanyon Cutter, but Awesome saved her. Then they double team Awesome until Buff comes out.
TO THE BACK. Jeff gives Mike Sanders a lesson on how to swing guitars. Who brings 20 guitars a night to wrestling shows? Stacy basically tells David that she's booked him in a Cruiserweight Championship match and she'll fuck him only if he wins.
Lenny Lane vs The Wall Tables Match
How and why did moves through tables become so popular in wrestling? It's kind of silly, really. There aren't too many times when putting a guy through a table would hurt more than not. Like Awesome Bombs to the floor. How would the table hurt a dude more than just dropping him straight to the floor? Austin doing a stunner through the announce table was always so goofy to me. Wall did a pretty crazy snake eyes/stun gun. Lenny catches Wall off guard and knocks him through the table. Lenny wins!
TO THE BACK. MIA meeting. Stash is nowhere to be found. Mike Sanders is just coming to after the guitar shot. Daffney lays him out with a chair as soon as he gets up. Wall shakes Lenny's hand and says "buddy system". Did he throw the match? Kronik were involved in a photo shoot. The Filthy Animals then sneaked into their locker room.
David Flair vs Lt. Loco WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Not enough shots of Stacy during this. I do like that David wears wrestling boots with his slacks and silk button down. Gunns chases Stacy away. Chavo wins with a tornado DDT on a chair. The difference between Stacy and Gunns is night and day. Stacy is the classy, smart, stunning girl next door type. Major Gunns was the tacky fake bimbo who wore neon animal print outfits. She tried to give David CPR, but Stacy got into a fight over this. But since it is TBS, they cut away for it.
TO THE BACK. Cat tells the Wall to not ever lay down again and fires him. Wall chokes him. Security, which included America's Most Wanted, pulled him off.
Mike Sanders is just getting up from the chair shot when KANYON CUTTER. Lol. Cat is trying to walk it off when the Dragons appear. They get the best of Cat this time.
The Great Muta vs Tank Abbott
MUTA! Fuck yeah. All I really wanted out of this show. I love that WCW borrowed Muta to have him have a mini feud with Tank Abbott. Is Inoki booking this? I bet IGF would totally book Muta vs Tank in 2013. SHOOT back suplex from Tank. The Dragons hit the ring to attack Tank. Cat comes out to get his revenge. Muta hits the RED mist on Cat, but Tank punches him in the face for the win. That's it? Really? And no dancing from Tank? This literally might not have gone a full minute before the Dragons came out. I do like that Muta pretty much immediately rolled the floor after the KO punch.
TO THE BACK. Major Gunns and MIA are with Gene. She challenges Stacy to an ROTC match at New Blood Rising. Rip Off The Camouflage. Kronik head back to their dressing room only to find what looks like a lot of playing cards and dominoes on the floor. I like the idea of Kronik getting blazed and playing dominoes instead of watching Thunder. They tell a random guy to watch the door, but KANYON CUTTER! BANG! I loled for real. I really didn't see that one coming. There usually is a delay or really obvious set up, but this one happened pretty much as soon as Kronik were out of frame. BANG! Rick I think brings Midajah to fuck Jeff. Hmm.
The Filthy Animals vs Kronik.
Rey and Juvi come out wearing Kronik's gear and using eye drops. Listen. I wish Konnan had died in a terrible accident in mid 1998 at the latest. If I had a time machine, I wouldn't go back and kill Hitler. I'd go back and kill Konnan. SPEAK ON THIS! Dat's Enuff! Fuck you. This is actually a handicap match. Disco/Juvi/Rey. I feel handicapped having Konnan on color. Crazy looking Meltdown on Juvi. "I am El Cerebro!" Crushing powerbomb doomsday on Disco for the win. They dumped him on his head.
TO THE BACK. Shane and Torrie head to the ring. Shane has a bag with something that he'll reveal in the ring.
Shane brings out Stuff Magazine. It had an article on some WCW YAKS and their personal lives. Torrie really likes it when dudes work out. So of course Shane brings out a dumbbell and Torrie can't keep her hands off of him. This brings Kidman out. What a loser. Get over it, Bill. Kidman grabs Torrie, but Shane hits him in the back of the neck with the dumbbell.
TO THE BACK. A TTB was disguised as a Road Report commercial. The normal guy forgot his phone and had to use Call ATT and The Perfect Event gave him a cell phone. KANYON CUTTER! BANG! Gene is with The Artist, who finally can speak. He makes an open challenged to any champion in WCW. Vito immediately attacks him from behind.
Big Vito vs The Artist WCW Hardcore Championship.
They brawl into the seamstress area, where Prince found Paisley with Kiwi. He beat up Kiwi and the match headed to the ring. Vito tried to do his DDT on a table, but they fell through it before he could hit the move. BOTCH! lol. Fans booed the spot. Vito hits the DDT normally for the win.
TO THE BACK. Awesome is feeding cake to a fat chick. He tries to convince Buff to bring her to the ring for their match. Buff talks him out of it.
Kanyon/Lance Storm vs Buff Bagwell/Mike Awesome
Buff and Awesome interrupt the national anthem. Flatliner! Buff hits the blockbuster on Lance while he has Mike in the half crab. Kanyon pulls the ref out and throws him in the way of a Buff baseball slide. He then hits Awesome in the chest with the book and hits a Kanyon Cutter for the win. BANG!
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Rick and Jeff. Rick calls Harlem Heat a bunch of rednecks. Wat. Cat didn't like the acronym Jeff used : NOYFB. Gene is now with Harlem Heat. SUCKA!
EARLIER TODAY. Scott Hudson interviewed Kevin Nash. Nash says that no one wanted to bring Hall back, no one at TNT, TBS, or even Brad Siegel himself. He goes on to say that no one popped the territory until Hall and Nash came down from New York. He's asked about his contract situation. Nash has 17 months left and he honors his contracts. "Not to the highest bidder. At this point in my career, it won't be about money anymore." Lol. Nash also says that WCW gave Goldberg too much power too quickly. Wat. He doesn't like Goldberg the man. He never paid his dues. 9 years from now he won't have paid his dues. Scott Hudson says that there have been issues over who is going to come out on top of Goldberg vs Nash vs Steiner. If the finish doesn't go Nash's way, will he leave? Nash responds that things always go his way, he doesn't care how the match is booked or laid out, and he's not going to lobby for a finish. Wat. "I'm gonna go over. Because I said so. I'm gonna go over. It's my time. It's my time here." Wat. This whole interview was bizarre. So insidery and KAYFAB breaking.
Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner vs Harlem Heat
Cat comes out before the match to make sure things are fair. Midajah was about to do the cross body, but Cat stopped that HOOTCHIE! and handcuffed her to himself. Cat also stops Stevie Ray from using a chair. This wasn't very interesting. I'm already sick of seeing Booker and Jeff together. Booker wins by turning an superplex into a cradle. Jeff lays him out with the guitar after the match.