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WCW Monday Nitro 7/24/2000
Oh shit, there is CAGED HEAT above the ring tonight!
Canadian Heavyweight Champion Lance Storm makes his way to the ring. His hair cut was really uneven. Madden sings along with the anthem. Lonce is a bit upset about how he's been treated. Oh my, Lance says there are no recognizable American heroes left. Scott Hudson says "What about Tiger Woods? Lance Armstrong?" Fantastic. He wants a warm up match for New Blood Rising.
Lance Storm vs Big Vito WCW Hardcore Championship/Canadian Championship
I think Vito called Lonce a Canadian shithead. Feels like a lot of ECW guys were floating around WCW at this time. Vito, Lance, Awesome, Franchise, Candido (where did he go?), plus some other guys that had been around longer but still came from ECW. This was pretty much a straight match outside of a couple of cane shots. Lance makes Vito tap out. Lance Storm is a dual champion! Just like Goldberg.
TO THE BACK. Booker T heads to the arena.
Booker T comes to the ring to talk about suckas. Save that drama fo yo mama. Booker T might be the blackest black wrestler ever. I love it. Actually, Stevie Ray probably is the blackest black wrestler ever, but Booker has been around longer now. I like that Book has become borderline unintelligible the longer he's been around. SHUCKY DUCKY. Goldberg comes out. Goldberg challenges Booker to a title match tonight. This brings the Cat out. Cat is going to let the fans decide. For the next hour, fans can vote on WCW.com. Holy shit. WWE really is WCW 2000. Every show has something that WWE has copied in the past 2-3 years. There will be 4 other men fans can vote for. Cat tells Goldberg to get out of the ring or he'll fire him, suspend him, or maybe kick his ass. Goldberg chokes Cat, which brings security out. RAW ACTIVE! I almost wish Twitter was around for WCW. Can you imagine? I can. It sounds amazing.
Show run down. "The rumors are out there, Tony, that the internet has been booking WCW for the past 2 years." The list is now 10 people instead of 4 that Cat just said. Sting and Stevie Ray are included on the list. Kidman is out on color because it is Torrie's birthday and he has a sex tape that he's going to show.
David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs Lt. Loco/Major Gunns
"They're stealing all the spots from my tape!" said in the most Seinfeldian way possible. Gunns wins with a roll up on Stacy. Stacy get in an argument after the match. Stacy rips off Gunn's tank top. I don't know why she was embarrassed or mad about this since she was literally seconds away from doing that herself.
TO THE BACK. Cat was on the phone with BB King when Jeff burst in mad that he was letting the fans decide on the title match. Who is going to vote for Jeff Jarret on WWE Raw Active? No one. That's why he's mad. Cat does book him in a title match, though. Against Kronik! Terrorist Sting has an interview and says that he's taking his stupid mask off tonight. Tenay talks to Goldberg about Raw Active. Crush tells Wrath that it's bell time. We hear a crunch sound and the camera inspects to find Wrath on the ground with a broke guitar around him.
Jeff Jarrett vs Kronik WCW Tag Team Championships
Holy fuck, did you know that Crush was trained by Inoki and Fujinami? How can a guy trained by those two be so shitty? He couldn't throw a decent looking strike if his life depended on it. Maybe that's why he died. OHHHHH! BANG! WWE.com is experience record traffic! WWE WCW Raw Nitro Active Octane brought to you via Twittah. Since Wrath didn't make it to the ring, this is now a singles match for the tag titles. Jeff hits a piledriver on the floor. Wrath finally makes it out with the broken guitar. He tries to hit Jeff with it, which looks ridiculous. Regardless, Slick stops him. They decide to do High Times through the announce table. Slick gets in the way, so they do it to him instead as Jeff runs away.
TO THE BACK. Cat is trying to put some stupid thing together while Vamprio is sitting in a chair looking at him. That was odd. Vamp's new ICP paint is lame. He wants Muta. Cat can do this on his own. Vamp tells Cat to be a ninja and be the special ref. One love, brother. Shane and Torrie are asked about the sex tape. Shane is super pissed about it. He probably shouldn't be considering Billy and Torrie were two young in shape people who were together for quite a while. It's not like she made it the day before or something.
Sting is currently in the lead with 35%. Goldberg is in second with 30%. Vamp is in 3rd with 10%.
Vampiro vs The Great Muta Special Guest Referee: The Cat
I'll never understand ICP. I didn't understand it then, I don't understand it now. There is a lot of face paint in this match. ICP, Demon, Vamp, and Muta. Match doesn't happen because Vamp attacks Cat right away. Then ICP get involved, but Cat does some karate to fight them off. Muta then joins in. What. Why did Vampiro ask for the Cat to be the ref so he could turn on him? Cat hadn't done anything to Vampiro. I don't think they'd had any interaction, actually. This was an ICP SWERVE, which is the worst kind of SWERVE. GIGANTIC SWERVE , according to Tony. ICP were the only ones left in the ring and Cat kicked the shit out of them. Good. I can't wait to see Mike Awesome powerbomb the skinny one on the bus.
TO THE BACK. Paula Poundstone is with Booker. It's about People Power tonight! "BOOOYYA, and I'm gonna get witcha!" I don't know what that means, Booker. Goldberg paces around.
Booker T vs Sting WCW Championship Raw Active Match
Sting won the online poll. Record breaking traffic on the website has been said at least 20 times. Sting comes out, but Goldberg attacks him on the ramp. Booker and Goldber kind of get into it on the floor. What will happen next? Sting was stretchered out.
Booker T vs Goldberg WCW Championship
This is what happened next. They ran this Raw Active angle just to SWERVE the voters. Goldberg dominates Booker, apparently injuring his arm. Stevie Ray throws in the towel, but Mickie Jay didn't see it. Goldberg wipes his arm pits and threw it back. Cat came out and stopped the match, but since Booker didn't quit or get pinned, Goldberg will not be awarded the title. Booker was left bleeding and basically dead, but you couldn't tell he was bleeding and this wasn't particularly vicious or anything. Goldberg shouldn't have won the title due to him not having being the guy voted in for the title match.
TO THE BACK. Booker tells Cat he wants the match restarted, he's walking out of the company if he doesn't get it. "That's like France asking for a restart on WWII." Really, Mark?
Buff Bagwell (w/Judy Bagwell) vs Kanyon
DDP's music hits, but Kanyon doesn't come out. "Is there
another production miscue back there or what?" Judy calls Kanyon out and gets muted! "Mother, this is TNT, you can't say that." Kanyon never shows up, so Buff wins via forfeit I guess. Mama Bagwell does the Buff strut. The camera man puts the camera down. It was Kanyon! SWERVE! Kanyon Cutter to Buff. BANG! He chases Judy to the back.
TO THE BACK. Kanyon slowly follows her to the parking lot where he throws in in an open trunk and takes off. Buff hops in his rental car and is off to find his mom. Paula Poundstone is with Kidman. He's going to show the sex tape live tonight!
Shane Douglas vs Mike Awesome
Awesome comes out with 3 fat chicks, because he thrills them. They can't even get in the ring without falling. I've been known to be something of a chubby chaser myself, but this is terrible. Mike hits a top rope plancha half way into the aisle. This is kind of disjointed at times. Torrie got involved a few times, including holding Mike's leg while he was on top. Shane hit Mike a few times in the gut with the chain, but the sex tape ends up playing on in the NitroVision. Awesome wins by hitting Shane with a double sledge with a fucking dumb bell for the win. Seems like that should have killed a guy. Lance came out but got Awesome Bombed.
TO THE BACK. Shane beats up a production truck guy for playing the tape.
Kidman comes out and says he made plenty of copies for everyone. We're shown clips of various roster members watching the tape.
Filthy Animals vs Perfect Event vs Jindrak and O'Haire vs MIA Caged Heat
This is kind of a reverse number one contender's match. Perfect Shawn already have a title match at NBR. But in this match, the object is to escape the cage. If one or both members of Perfect Event are left in the ring, they lose their title shot. I think. That doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. Does the first team out get the title show? Do the first 3 teams that get out go into a 4 way tag match at NBR? Okay, I guess it is that the losing team won't be in the 4 way tag at the PPV. The Animals intentionally get the NBT out of the cage. Wat. They could have escaped right there with no resistance and made sure they got a title shot. Perfect Event walk out of the cage easily, but they also lock the cage. "Guess what I just happen to have here?" Konnan had bolt cutters. Mexican Strategy. Konnan isn't even Mexican. He kept saying their plan was very Tarantinoish. Disco opens up a hole on top of the cage. Juvi and Rey bring a ladder in the ring and instead of climbing out of the hole, they do leg drops off of it. Hugh and Rey climb out on to the top of the cage. The bolt cutters don't work or something. The door is finally opened. Lash does a suicide dive to Juvi through the door. It seems to me that if Rey and Hugh are on top of the cage, they're out of the cage, and the match should be over. A table is set up on the floor. Hugh is going to elbow Juvi off the top of the cage! Rey stopped it. Dick. Lash gets thrown the table instead. Rey and Hugh get back in the ring. Rey drops down and gets caught in a powerbomb. Hugh gets out of the cage. The Filthy Animals will not get a title shot. This is one of the dumbest and most nonsensical matches I think I've seen. Starting off, using a HIAC for an escape match? Rey and Juvi purposely eliminating people (which means those people WIN) and not walking out when they were literally standing right next to the open cage door? Using a HIAC for a random four team reverse number one contender's match? Even the announcers were confused and couldn't understand any of it. Awful.
TO THE BACK. Stevie tries to convince Booker not to continue the match. Stevie then tries to convince Goldberg not to take the match, but he gets thrown through a window. Booker watches his brother get loaded into an ambulance.
Goldberg vs Booker T
Booker attacks Goldberg on the ramp. It's like poetry. It rhymes. Ax kick! Goldberg is scary strong. He tries to bust open the cut when Double J comes out to hit him with a chair. Goldberg spears the fuck out of him. Cat comes out and hits a spinning kick to the FACE. Booker hits the Book End. BOOKER PINS GOLDBERG! Goldberg gets up and spears and jackhammers Booker after the bell. Totally makes sense to have Goldberg's first lost in a year and a half come in a non scheduled, non hyped Nitro match.
