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WCW Thunder 8/2/2000
A heads up, I sliced my right index finger while cutting veggies today. I have a band aid on it. It may hinder the typing. Also, this show is in Indiana!
Lance Storm comes to the ring with all 3 of his championships. Cruiserweight Title is now known as Canadian 100Kilos and Under Championship. This brings Cat to the ring. Cat wants him to put all 3 titles on the line tonight. He'll face Juvi, Norman Smiley, and The Cat, respectively.
Lance Storm vs Juvi Juice
Lot of douchey dancing from a lot of people. Under Canadian rules, the Animals will not be allowed at ringside. Juvi is dressed like Kidman tonight. Juvi Driver! But Lance slipped out to the floor. Juvi hits a diving flip. Juvi is kind of dominating. Juvi lands on his feet from a 450, counters a back suplex, and hits a DVD. Electric chair into a half crab gets the win. Lance retains his first title.
Show run down. Booker/Sting/Kronik vs Jarrett/Vampiro/Muta/Demon 8 man elimination tag. Two more Storm title defenses.
TO THE BACK. MIA meeting. Booker T limps into the building. SMOOVE finds Skip Over. Smooth tells him that his name fucking sucks and he's got to change it. The announcers agree. But then Stevie Ray makes fun of MI Smooth's name.
Stacy and David come to the ring. Stacy ain't no bimbo, ho. Maybe the mud pit will do some good for Major Gunns.
Sgt. AWOL vs David Flair.
This match doesn't work out very well for David. Hey, remember just a few months ago when Wall was literally trying to kill people and break necks? And how he was a heel and evil person for it? And now he's a face. Chokeslam through a table for the win.
TO THE BACK. 3 Nitro Girls are talking when Reno confronts one of them.
Shane Douglas talks him down. Skip Over gives his new name to the Red Rooster. Jeff and Vampiro talk about the 8 man tag. Tank wrote a song for 3 Count to record.
Kidman vs Primetime Player Elix Skipper
I'd totally support Elix joining the Prime Time Players. Elix avoids a cross body with the Matrix move. Cartwheel head scissors over the ropes. It was weird looking. Shane and Torrie come out. Reno hits the ring and MURDERS Kidman with a Roll of the Dice. Fuck. "It's a Mongol!" Prime Time wins with another botched Over Drive. I think no one knew how to take the move yet.
TO THE BACK. Awesome and a fat chick are in Cat's office. Awesome doesn't care as long as he still gets his title shot. Shane, Reno, and Torrie walk in the back. Shane bumps into Judy Bagwell. He calls her a red neck ho. Buff attacks Shane. Security break it up.
PerfectShawn vs Sean O'Haire
Stevie Ray buries everyone and everything. It is excellent. He points out everything that is stupid or doesn't make sense, even if it goes against whatever Tony and Tenay just said. He also straight up doesn't listen to anything anyone says. He's simultaneously awful and awesome. Chuck tried to interfere, but Stevie wouldn't let him. So many guys debuted over the past 4 months or so. Jindrak, O'Haire, Stasiak, Palumbo, Awesome, Storm, Prime Time, Kwee Wee, Reno, Mike Sanders, and an entirely new group of Nitro Girls. Seanton Bomb for the win.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene (in a neck brace) is with Buff and Judy Bagwell. Buff makes a bunch of erection and masturbation jokes in front of his mom. Judy says she's tried of the shit Shane has been dishing out and Buff is going to kick his ass. She gets bleeped at least 5 times. Lance Storm takes a tiny drink of water. Booker "The modern Day Warrior" T gets ready. Sting and Kronik get ready in a different locker room.
Lance Storm vs Norman Smiley SHIT Championship
Vito is on color. Stevie Ray tells a story about working in Japan 9 years ago with Vito. Norman comes out with an American flag. But he's British.
The Canadian rule book does not allow for any outside materials to be used and only submissions are legal. I don't understand why Norman hasn't had a cameo on Raw. There are plenty of dudes that most of the audience wouldn't have much knowledge of, but they still have popped up on shows. He could at least be involved in a Ron Simmons DAMN segment. Smiley slam! I wish this match was on Saturday Night or in Japan/England. Ref gets his eye poked, which gives Lance the chance to hit Norman in the knee with the US flag. Half grab for the win. Second defense successful. Vito breaks up the hold when Lance wouldn't let go.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Shane and Torrie. Torrie will sue Judy if she gets near her. Shane vs Kidman will happen at the PPV. So they ran them in a gimmick match on Nitro two weeks before the PPV. Makes sense.
Buff Bagwell vs Shane Douglas.
I'm not interested in this until Kanyon shows up. Stevie Ray calls Torrie a YAK and had mentioned earlier that Kidman was really the creeper in that feud. Torrie gets a chair in the ring, but Judy chokes the shit out of her. During this, Kidman came in and hit a dropkick to the chair Shane was holding, giving Buff a chance to hit the blockbuster for the win. Torrie and Judy get in A CAT FIIGGGHHHTT!!!!
Kanyon attacks Buff on the floor. Shane was doing something to Judy, but it's fucking TBS so there is no visual of it. Kanyon hits a Kanyon Cutter on Buff on an open chair. BANG! Mike Awesome makes the save. Of course. Judy is a fat chick.
TO THE BACK. Buff and Judy are near the ambulance. Mike Awesome will take care of Kanyon. Sting tries to convince Booker that he doesn't need to take this match.
WCW Executive management have decided they will not air Vince Russo's interview tonight. This was after it was hyped all during Nitro and this show, and in fact was said to be the next segment. And then they bring up "TOO HOT FOR TV" stuff? Really? On an openly acknowledged taped show? We've been SWERVED! We may get to see it on Nitro, though.
Mike Awesome vs Kanyon
"You know who I am and you know what I like, so if you're pleasantly plump and large and in charge, the fat chick thriller is here to give you a dose of vitamin p. And the p stands for passion, baby!" Electric chair to Mike Awesome. Stevie Ray is talking about being around for all the bookers in the past 7 years. Sit out fly swatter. Kanyon is awesome. He's deceptively big, way stronger than he looks, goofy as fuck. Rope hanging neck breaker. He randomly hits the ref and Kanyon Cuts a photographer at ringside. And another one. And to a key grip. BANG BANG BANG! Judy Bagwell wobbles out and hits Kanyon with her purse. It had a brick in it. Awesome Bomb for the win.
TO THE BACK. Lance gets another tiny drink of water. Cat heads to the ring.
The Cat vs Lance Storm Canadian Championship
Feliner also knocks down the ref. Muta slides in the ring. They have a karate battle until Muta does a dragon screw. Lance Storm hits a chopblock and locks in the half grab to retain. All 3 titles successfully defended.
TO THE BACK. Gene is with Booker, Kronik, and Sting. BOOOYA, and I'm gonna get wicha. "Not even human combustion can stop the Stinger!" A recap of Stacy vs Gunns. The Dark Carnival have a promo in a boiler room THEY COME TO PLAY! Demon is about as good as Miz, so it makes sense. Gene is with Jarrett.
Booker T, Sting, Kronik vs The Dark Carnival and Jeff Jarrett 8 Man Elimination Tag
This could be interesting. Maybe. It won't be even 10 minutes, so probably not. Immediately starts out as a big brawl. It pairs down to Jeff and Booker in the ring. Despite having a bad leg, he has no problems doing huge kicks with it. Muta is eliminated about 2 minutes in with High Times. Bummer. He was the best part of the match. Cat attacks Muta on the stage and drags him to the back. The ref stops Jeff from taking High Times through a table, so they choke slam the ref instead. They did that spot last week. Kronik are disqualified for it. Lol, Vamp got knocked off the apron when Sting got Irish whipped and he was facing the crowd. Booker hits the ax kick on Demon, but Jeff tries a double ax handle. Book caught him in a Booker End, but Demon saved him. Then Jeff bailed. Sting and Booker both hit their finishers and a double pin for the win.