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WCW New Blood Rising 8/13/2000
Hilariously, the New Blood angle died out about 2 months ago. THE PROMO VIDEO TO START THE SHOW HAS KEVIN NASH SAYING HE'S GOING TO GO OVER! This is going to be great. WCW was running low on money, so they have the same set for everything.
3 Count vs Jung Dragons Double Ladder Match
Tank is wearing a 3 Count shirt with the nipples cut out.
Up for grabs is the gold record and a contract saying that 3 Count can never record another song. For some reason these guys are working it with tags. In a ladder match. Wat. Shane and Jaime start out in the ring until it breaks down and everyone runs for the ladders. I hope someone does another stupid jump and everyone face palms when they miss the move. Yang attempted an Awesome Bomb through a ladder. Then Shannon tried it and got back dropped into the ladder in the corner. A ladder is bridged in the corner. Yang gets crotched on it. Shannon tries to make a pin. All three of the dragons are piled on the ladder and Shannon gets launched on them. Both teams do doomsday devices. Jamie with a cross body from the top of a ladder to the floor!
Sleeper slam off the ladder to Yang. Shane does a neck breaker off the ladders to Jamie, and Evan does a superplex off the ladder. Tank stands on the apron most of the match. "Tank Abbot is a dangerous, sadistical guy." I don't think that is a word. Powerslam on a ladder. No botches yet. Sweet teeter totter spot into Russian leg sweep. Hilariously mistimed double ladder splash.
Jamie gets the gold record. Tank shoves the ladder and takes it. But the contract is still up there. Shane and Kaz climb ladders and Tank shoves them both over for some reason. Evan gets the contract and 3 Count win. Tank prances out with the record and contract.
TO THE BACK. The Filthy Animals are in Cat's office. They want to be the special refs for the tag title match and get a shot at the winners. And they'll make sure he beats Muta tonight. Cat agrees.
The Great Muta vs The Cat
Hudson claims there is LEGIT HEAT between the two. Muta's pants are so boss. He's in control most of the match. Tygress comes to the ring. Cat kicks Muta out of the ring and chokes him with a cable on the floor. Cat is really a terrible wrestler. He clearly never would have had a job if he wasn't a buddy of Bischoff. Dragon screw into a knee bar. Cat moves out of the moonsault, but doesn't move out of the mist. Tygress hits a chair shot from the top while Mickie Jay tries to wipe Cat's eyes with his shirt. But Muta kicked out! Tygress reminds me of a Fly Girl. Cat does a bunch of karate stuff, including a CroCop axe kick. He hits the Feliner for the win. What a waste of Muta.
TO THE BACK. Buff is looking for his mom.
Buff Bagwell vs Kanyon Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match
This is actually Judy on a forklift match. Kanyon's mic didn't work again. Now it works. WHO BETTA THAN KANYON? Nobody. Kanyon is awesome. He could have been a career long WWE midcarder and it would have been great. He seemed like a perfect fit for Vince. A big comedic heel who can work and make anyone of any size look great. Buff tries to lower the forklift, but a match breaks out. They brawl into the crowd. They make it back to the ring where Kanyon hits a a second rope Russian leg sweep. Kanyon (who has a solid moose knuckle going) gets some wire cutters to slip the pad off the turnbuckle. Extended cobra clutch segment. Lot of neck work in this. Kanyon Cutter was reversed and Kanyon was sent into the exposed buckle. This was followed by a stun gun. KANYON CUTTER! BANG! But Buff kicked out! HOLY SHIT IT IS FORMER WCW CHAMPION DAVID ARQUETTE!
Lol, what the fuck. He hits Buff with a hard hat, but Buff kicks out. DOWN GOES DAVID! Double blockbuster. Buff wins the services of...his mom. After the match, KANYON CUTTER TO DAVID! BANG!!!
TO THE BACK. A Police escort for a purple limo. It was Canadian hero Lance Storm! He was wearing a fanny pack.
Tony tells us that Goldberg was involved in a motorcycle accident in Sturgis. They couldn't tell us that Goldberg might not be in the match until 40 minutes into the show when it happened two days prior? Sounds like WCW, alright.
Kronik vs Jindrak/O'Haire vs Perfect Event vs MIA WCW Tag Team Championships
All of the Filthy Animals besides Konnan are special referees. Konnan is on color. Excuse me, "Carlos". The Animals seem to be showing favoritism to the heels. I can't give a fuck about this between Madden and Konnan blowing each other and making shooty comments constantly. How many fucking times can you say "I/he/she got it like that?" Fuck you, Carlos. Your dying kidneys were probably karma from being such an annoying douche bag. Vampiro and Muta run in to distract Kronik from hitting High Times. Chavo takes Disco's shirt and makes the pin for Kronik. They retain.
TO THE BACK. Paula interviews Jeff about his title match tonight. I love that Turner Home Video would mute out hell and ass, but had no problems with ass, hell, damn, bitch, and other words on Nitro every week.
Shane Douglas vs Kidman Strap Match
I hope Kidman literally gets the shit strapped out of him. I'll give the Filthy Animals some credit. At least there were supposed to be annoying twats. Kidman is supposed to be a guy we're supposed to cheer for. Kidman is strapping Shane in the dick. What a son of a bitch. I get it, Torrie is hot as fuck. I'd be mad if she broke up with me, too. But not enough to be such a jealous prick that you'll hit her new boyfriend in the dick with a leather strap. Torrie accidentally hit Shane in the head with her shoe. Plunge rolled into a small package, back into the Plunge for a 2 count. Kidman wins with the Kid Krusher. But this was a strap match. Pinfalls aren't legal in strap matches. Kidman attaches the strap to Torrie and straps her in the ass a few times. Shane literally tries to hang Kidman to death. Vito made the save. Fuck it, Kidman deserved it. "At least Kidman can say he was well hung." A wild Reno appears and he brawls with Vito.
TO THE BACK. Booker T arrives over an hour into the show. The world champion can't show up on time for a fucking PPV? I guess you can blame black people time if you want, but that's ridiculous. Jeff attacks and slams Booker's bad leg in the door multiple times.
Major Gunns vs Ms. Hancock ROTC Match
Handspring back elbow from Stacy. Madden says this reminds him of Thesz/O'Connor, except he didn't want to see them naked. Then he says the same thing about Flair and Steamboat. "Unfortunately, many of us did." Lol. Stay rips of a shirt and makes a pin. This is actually better than most Divas matches.
I bet Stacy could have been a decent wrestler if she had worked at it. I don't know how the winner is determined. Both have had their camo ripped off and both are in the mud. Stacy doubles over in pain while holding her stomach and Gunns pins her. She's crying. David runs down to help his woman. Major Gunns is also crying. EMTs bring a stretcher out. "Now, there were a couple of times when she was doubled over out here, but I thought it was part of the match." You see, this is REAL!
TO THE BACK. Paula talks to the Dark Carnival.
We're told about severe abdominal pains from Ms. Hancock that WERE NOT apart of the match.
TO THE BACK. Stacy is taken out in an ambulance. Hudson and Madden talk about how that wasn't on the format and was not planned or part of the show. Madden is THE WORST at selling worked shoots. If you're ever wondering about if something on WCW television was a real shoot or not, you can tell by how much Madden talks about it.
Sting vs The Demon.
Sting repels from the rafters to enter the match. Stinger Splash and the deathdrop for the win. This was under a minute. Vampiro and Muta attack after the match. They try to hang Sting on the cord he repelled in on. Kronik make the save and Sting just walks to the back. That's it? Sting was on screen for 2 minutes total I think. Kronik issues a challenge to the Dark Carnival for later tonight. Oh boy, Kronik doing double duty.
TO THE BACK. The trainer was checking on Booker. They kick the camera man out.
Mike Awesome vs Lance Storm Canadian Heavyweight Championship
Being that they're in Canada, Lance gets the full Goldberg entrance complete with the Canadian secret service. Big US SUCKS chants. Sometimes, our neighbors to the north are right about us. He invokes rule number 32B of the Canadian Rules handbook which means he can name a Canadian referee. Crowd goes nuts thinking it will be Bret, but then goes mild when The Mountie comes out. The match finally starts and Awesome hits a crazy slapjackish move. Thankfully, Awesome has no fat chicks and has his old music. Springboard dropkick from Lonce. Lol, Awesome slipped off the ropes trying to do a super lariatooo. But he landed on his ass on the top buckle and did a running clothesline instead. Canada is so nice they didn't even give him YOU FUCKED UP CHANTS. Pop up Awesome Bomb gets a 3 count! Already? The Mountie informs Penzer that a 5 count is necessary to win. Alabama slam. Storm taps to a dragon sleeper. Mountie says that a championship match in Canada can't end in submission. Awesome splash gets a 5 count. New Champion! The Mountie says that after a 5 count, the pinned man must have a 10 count to get up. A table is put in the ring. Both guys crash through it off the top. The Mountie says the first man to stand up before 10 will be champion. Mountie decks Awesome and Storm wins! It's BRET HART! Obvious booing was dubbed in for some reason. Fucking stupid booking. The booking for this match would have been perfect in somewhere like Tennessee or Texas. Not in Canada where Lance is the home town hero. That would be great heel working fucking over Awesome 3 times. But instead, they have Lance lose clean 3 times and have to cheat 4 times and have his own special enforcer on the floor to retain his title as the babyface. The match with the most potential by far completely ruined by stupid booking.
TO THE BACK. Paula talks with Nash. Goldberg has yet to arrive and there is no is no word on if he'll show up.
The Great Muta/Vampiro vs Kronik WCW Tag Team Championships
The two guys on the roster who most need to do double duty. I really wish Muta had been doing Shining Wizards at this point. Muta is a big fucking guy. He's almost as big as Crush. Madden says that Crush really is as big as Godzilla. Well, that obviously isn't true, Mark. My goodness this match is boring. Not even Muta can save it. Mostly because he's been phoning it this whole WCW run. Muta accidentally misted the ref. Are you fucking kidding me? The Harris Boys are back? Fuck this company. They hit an H-Bomb and Muta hits the moonsault. New champions.
TO THE BACK. Paula is with Booker.
Kevin Nash vs Scott Steiner vs Goldberg
From the very start, the announcers are talking about who is going to go over, political stroke, and other SHOOT terms. Goldberg's music hits, but he doesn't show up. A Goldberg fears Gillberg sign has a prolonged zoom in. The music plays again. Still no Goldberg. Goldberg shows up with his ribs taped up. THIS IS A SHOOT, GUYS! Nash almost falls stepping over the ropes. lol. This is dumb. Now they're talking about the booking committee and Nash booking himself to go over Goldberg at "Starrcade 88". For such a SHOOT, these guys aren't working very stiff. Nash goes for the Jackknife. Goldberg shoves him off and bails on the match. Nash is all like "wtf Bill?" Russo comes down and tells Goldberg to get his ass back in the ring and do his job.
The announcers talk about how Goldberg was supposed to go up for the jackknife, but wouldn't do it. "Nash is a pro. He could have punched Goldberg in the face right there if he wanted." "What are they going to do now, improvise?" Midajah comes out to the ring and hits the ref and Nash in the dicks. "We've got people going into business for themselves all over the place." Nash low blows Steiner. Then Midajah comes back in and headbutts Nash in the balls. "Boy, they're really working on the fly out there, guys." JUMPING big boot from Nash. Jackknife gets Nash the win. He's the number one contender. Between the booking of this and Lance's match, I'd be pretty pissed if I had paid for this show. The most hyped match of the show by far and they have Goldberg come out a few minutes late, stay in for a few minutes, and then bail on the finish because he didn't want to put Kevin Nash over. And then talk about how Goldberg is unprofessional and wouldn't take the finish, and how Nash and Steiner are true professionals who had to call the match in the ring since Goldberg was a cry baby and wouldn't do his job.
Booker T vs Jeff Jarrett WCW Championship
Jeff starts the match by attacking the wrong knee. I don't know how you miss the massive knee brace, but Jeff did. This is only into the second month of Booker's reign, but it feels like 4 years since he's been tied up with Jarrett the whole time. Booker tries a missile dropkick and misses. Why would you even try that if you have a dangerously injured leg? Jeff works over the leg with the post, guardrail, chairs. Everything. Booker can still do all his kick based offense with no issues. He accidentally hit the ref while doing the Spinarooni. Jeff hits him in the knee with the guitar during a Harlem Side kick. "Stroke him Jeff, STROKE HIM!" Figure four. Book somehow makes it to the ropes. Another ref bump on the floor. Book End off the apron through a table. Kind of. It was more like a chokeslam off the apron. The Ginger Ref makes his way to the ring. Jeff kicks out and gets a chair. Another ref bump. "He's gonna stroke him on the chair." Stroke on an open chair. Charles Robinson sprints to the ring. TWO COUNT! Booker does I think an attempted Diamond Cutter on the chair, but only gets two. Book End for the win. Booker retains. After 3 ref bumps. The crowd immediately starts filing out and throwing trash in the ring. Does Vancouver not have black people or something?
This show had some potential, but terrible booking. Particularly when it comes to the Awesome/Lance match and everything about the triple threat match. And Sting being on screen for maybe 2 minutes total. He couldn't even stay for the post match brawl. He came out, had a match that was literally 2 moves, and walked out as soon as Kronik came out. And piping in boos for Bret Hart in Canada. But mostly the triple threat and people going into business for themselves, calling matches on the fly, improvising because Goldberg didn't agree with a finish etc etc. So stupid. If WCW didn't die, I imagine that would have killed Canada off for them anyway.
Mike Awesome summed up my feels about this show: