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WCW Monday Nitro 8/28/2000
This show starts out with a promo package about the NWO 2000. Kind of weird, but I guess since Steiner, Jarrett, and Nash are united again it makes sense.
TO THE BACK. A limo arrives with Nash, Jarrett, Steiner, and Vince Russo. This makes NO FUCKING SENSE. This entire group were all feuding with each other over the past 5 months. Nash and Steiner were feuding as of 3 weeks ago.
Dark Carnival vs 3 Count
MUTA IS ON COLOR!
3 Count do a dive sequence. Shane totally over shoots the fat clown and crashes in the aisle. Muta makes a bunch of noises with VAMPIRROOOOAHH at the end. Only WCW would bring in Muta and have him on commentary. Does Muta speak English? Dark Carnival win with a top rope leg drop from the skinny one. Tank comes to the ring and beats up 3 Count. 3 Count and the Dark Carnival team up on Tank. Muta is making motor boating sounds. Demon comes out for the save, but he's been out manned. Muta gets in the ring and mists Demon, but for some reason it cut to a fan. The lights go out. IT IS STING!
TO THE BACK. The NWO 3000 and the NTB head to the ring.
New Blood 2.0 are out. The NBT stand at ringside to stand guard I suppose. The band is back together! Jeff challenges Awesome to a bunkhouse brawl. Steiner says he can shave his ass and walk backwards and look better than Goldberg's girlfriend. Nash said he should have named himself the Puppet Master instead of Big Sexy. Every few months he sucks the people in so they'll buy his merch, and since it is all sold out, the fans get the real Nash. What if he gets new merchandise? Nash is the next champion. Russo says Nash isn't going to become the champion at Fall Brawl...he's going to become the champion tonight! Kevin Nash vs Booker for the title tonight! Jeff Jarrett will be the special ref! And Steiner will be the guest enforcer! Booker "The Rock" T comes out. Cat comes out dressed like Lonestar Dustin Rhodes and says he's gonna Dolomite Russo's ass.
Cat will team up with Booker tonight in a match. Russo kicks Cat in the balls. The Filthy Animals run out to brawl with the NBT. They get rolled in one at a time to eat finishers from the real stars. On the NitroVision, we see Goldberg digging a grave. IT'S BURYING TIME!
TO THE BACK. Cat is placed in an ambulance for his dick. Russo tells the new NWO 3000 XD to what his back. They all leave him for stupid reasons. Russo's phone rings. It's Goldberg. We can hear his voice even after Vince threw the phone away. This is going to be just like that shitty episode of Thunder where Nash chased Russo around the entire show.
Tygress vs Paisley vs Major Gunns.
Tygress wins right away with a roll up. She was even announced as the winner. Everyone botched this. The ref, both women, Penzer, and the announcers. Lol. Paisley walks out on Tygress. The ref restarted the match, but then it was just over. What is going on? What a botch. I want to send so much stuff to Maffew for a giant WCWmania.
TO THE BACK. Rey sets up the NBT and allows for them to be pepper sprayed by the Animals. Russo has no one watching him his office now. A pick up truck literally over filled with guitars arrived for Jeff Jarrett. That's so stupid and amazing.
Paula interviews Mike Awesome in a sweet powder blue leisure suit. Sweet disco easy listening 70s music plays during this. They dropped the Fat Chick thing for a few weeks just to do this to him?
Kronik vs the Harris Brothers House of Pain Match
Not to be confused with the Hall of Pain. I wish Mark Henry could retroactively crush all of these men. One of the bald dudes get thrown through the side of the cage. It broke at the bottom and they start brawling on the floor. One of them attacks a fan for real I think. You never know with WCW, but it didn't really look like your typical obvious plant spot. This cage match where the rules are you have to hand cuff your opponents to the cage walls is a no contest when all four men brawl outside of the cage. And was about 3 minutes. Where do you go in a feud when the first match is a cage match?
Lance Storm vs Sgt AWOL Table Prisoner of War match
The winner gets to take a member from the other team. Team Canada only has two members, so it doesn't seem like a fair deal. Lance wins in about a minute by knocking Wall off the apron through a table. He takes Gunns and bolts.
TO THE BACK. Paula is with Sting. Muta has challenged Sting to a match. YES. Sting vs Muta! Booker is getting ready for his match.
Rick Steiner vs Mike Awesome Bunkhouse Brawl
Hmm. I thought Awesome was going to be in a Bunkhouse Brawl with Jarrett. Maybe that was for the PPV. WCW was so weird with gimmick matches. Whenever they'd have a gimmick match booked, they'd run that same style of match at least once, but usually multiple times before the PPV. In some case, like Scott Steiner (Asylum match) and Mike Awesome (ambulance match), they'd have guys compete EXCLUSIVELY in that gimmick match for a month leading up to the actual one you're supposed to want to see. By the time of a PPV, you've seen whatever gimmick match they're trying to sell possibly 3 times or more. It seems so counter productive and backwards. You're also pretty likely to get at least one or two singles matches between two guys who are supposed to wrestle at the PPV. And a lot of times in gimmick matches while the PPV match is a normal one. They had two pole matches in a row before Judy Bagwell on a pole, Awesome had 3 ambulances matches and stretcher match against DDP before he was to fight DDP in an ambulance match, Kidman and Shane wrestled two weeks in a row before their PPV match one of which was a pole match, DDP and Jeff had a cage match before their triple cage match, Dragons and 3 Count had a ladder match on Nitro 2 weeks before their PPV ladder match...and on and on. Rick won after Jeff got involved.
Booker T vs Kevin Nash WCW Championship
Scott Steiner is the outside enforcer, Jeff Jarrett is the referee, and Russo is out for color. This will be known as the New York Screw Job. Jeff is being a fair ref because he's mad that he isn't the one getting the title shot. Straight up Western LARIATOOOOO from Nash sends Booker into the Rikishi bump. Nash could have won, but Jeff was sending Steiner to the back. Jarrett pushed Russo out on the floor. "What is this horn yacker trying to prove? You're a damn horn yacker, Jeff Jarrett!" Why is this match the hour one main event? This is supposed to headline a PPV in a few weeks, but can't even main event the TV show? Why is this match even happening at all if you want people to buy it in a few weeks? Russo is losing his shit at Jeff. Ax kick! Missile drop kick! Book End! Russo slips Jeff the guitar and he waffles Booker. During this, the producer could be heard doing mic checks. Russo tries to remove parts of the guitar, which makes no sense since Jeff is the ref. We all got SWERVED. For no reason at all. This was literally a SWERVE for the sake of a SWERVE. They could have just screwed Booker out of the title without pretending they couldn't get along or follow the plan. Jackknife and Nash is your new champion!
TO THE BACK. The celebration continues. Booker is leaving. Hugh tries to convince him to stay. As he walks out, Goldberg walks in. Goldberg convinces him to stay.
Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson are somewhere out in the crowd cutting a promo. He challenges Kidman to a Pittsburgh Plunge Scaffold Match at Fall Brawl. THAT'S A FACT is said at least 2000 times. Crowbar attacks Shane, but something caught his attention, which allowed Shane to throw him off the balcony. GOOD GOD HE'S DEAD! THAT KILLED HIM.
Shane gets in the ring and calls anyone out. This brings out Goldberg! Spear! Somehow Goldberg busted his eyebrow open. It immediately started squirting blood. Maybe he hit Shane's belt? Jackhammer!
TO THE BACK. Nash takes a shower. The pixelization doesn't cover the obvious gray boxers Nash was wearing. Booker attacks him with the title belt while in the shower. Russo is freaking out. Steiner leaves him on his own again.
Jeff Jarrett vs Big Vito
Meh. Jarrett wins his second clean match in 6 months.
TO THE BACK. Jeff goes back to his pick up truck of guitars. Mike Awesome was hiding underneath them. Lol. What? Awesome slams Jeff into the guitars.
The Natural Born Thrillers are out for a promo. FUCK MIKE SANDERS. Jesus. What an annoying douche bag. Sanders challenges the Filthy Animals to a 5 on 5 elimination tag.
Filthy Animals vs NBT 5 on 5 elimination tag
Konnan is wrestling despite still recovering from tricep surgery. Meat is on commentary. Rey is wearing an orange prison jump suit. Reno, who Sanders claimed was 6 feet tall, is slightly taller than Juvi. Last Dance to Jindrak! Chuck counters the bronco buster with a belly to belly. How stupid, 8 of the guys were counted out at the same time. How can you count out guys who aren't even legal men? This leaves Tygress and Mike Sanders. Tygress beats his ass until he wins with the 3.0.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg may have killed Scott Steiner in his locker room. Russo begs Vito for help with Goldberg. Vito gives him the kiss of death, which Russo no sells. Would you no sell a dude randomly grabbing you and kissing you on the lips? For any reason, male or female. Some guy just grabs your face and kisses you, you're probably going to have some kind of reaction, be it positive or negative. Russo just kept going like nothing happened. And as an Italian New Yorker, shouldn't he have recognized the kiss of death and probably just left instead of try to get Vito to beat up Goldberg?
Vince and Vito come to the ring. Russo calls Goldberg out. Goldberg BARKS at Russo. Lol. He can't touch Russo or he'll be fired. But Vito can touch him. Vito attacks Russo! SWERVE! Vince probably shouldn't have been a dick to Vito last week. Goldberg tells Vito to take out the garbage and throws him keys.
The Great Muta vs Sting
YES! I hope this is more than 2 minutes long. They brawl on the ramp to start the match. The rest of the Dark Carnival were on top of the Nitro Vision. A bunch of steam shoots up from the ramp and Vampiro jumps off with a kendo stick. They all climb to the top of the NitroVision where ICP cut through the screen and pull Sting through it. Then they all beat him up in silhouette. This didn't even make it to the ring.
TO THE DESERT. Goldberg brings Russo to the grave. Bret Hart is also out there and wants to get in on the fun. Bret just happened to be in the desert where Goldberg dug a hole? Lol. Bret SWERVES Goldberg and hits him with a shovel.
