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WCW Monday Nitro 6/19/2000
TO THE BACK. A white limo has pulled up. BUT WHO IS LIMO?!?! Oh shit. TWO limos! Cat is in one, and Jeff Jarrett and Mike Awesome are in the other. Russo isn't here because Scott Steiner put him in the Steiner Recliner after Thunder. Eric isn't here because he's got a big meeting. Goldberg is on his way. A very young, goofy looking Cowboy James Storm and some other weird security guy tell The Cat there are big problems in the ring and they need him right now.
TO THE RING. WHOREASS Hogan is taking the show hostage it looks like. He's in the ring sitting in a chair with a bat with a srs bidness face.
Horace always looked like he was on the verge of crying. Always. He calls out Goldberg. For family honor. They haven't done a very good job of making it clear that Horace turning on Hulk was just a SWERVE cooked up by the Hogans. Cat comes out and says that both he and Goldberg are too big to wrestle Horace. He has an announcement: Due to Scott Steiner attacking Russo after Thunder, if he gets involved in the show in anything but his scheduled match, he'll be fired and sent to The Cat's dojo to clean floors. This is for the remainder of his contract. Joke's on Cat, WCW wouldn't even be around for another year! He brought Scott Hall's contract to the show tonight. This brings out Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Midajah. "It's what we call booking on the fly!" Tony, pls. Horace can have his match. Scott wants a match with Cat tonight. He gives Scott a title match with Jeff instead. Nash gets a match against the Cat for Hall's contract! What a terrible commissioner. Cat jumps into the crowd when Nash flinches at him. I think he got into a fight with a fan on the way out.
Show run down. Horace vs Goldberg, Jarrett vs Steiner WCW Championship, Cat vs Nash for Scott Hall's contract. Scott Hudson is wearing clothes again, at least.
TO THE PRODUCTION TRUCK. Chuck and Stasiak want the production nerds to play a pre tape video so they can attack Tank and Rick Steiner for revenge of last week. Little did they know that Tank and Rick were watching this on a tiny monitor on the outside of the production truck. The champs are attacked as soon as they exit the truck.
TO THE BACK. Jeff is pissed a The Cat. Mike Awesome is made the special ref for the title match. A security guard says they really should have a match in the ring, because the crowd is getting restless. Cat tells him to just throw the Spice Girls (3 Count) out there, because the crowd is going to have to wait until he finds the contract.
3 Count vs Jung Dragons
3 Count haven't been on Nitro in quite a while. I think the last time the Dragons were on were the Spring Break show. Crowd is pretty into this. 3 Count seem to have taken a class on ring presence while they were gone. Yang has a showcase spot to big pops. Kaz straight up soccer kicked Evan in the face to break up a pin. Can't believe it wasn't sold on commentary at all. A triple team face buster on Jamie-San (who now wears a full mask instead of a Kato mask) get 3 Count the win. As 3 Count starts to celebrate, they are attacked by.....LANCE STORM! WE KNOW WHO THAT IS! He takes out all 3 and runs away through the crowd.
TO THE BACK. David Flair is in the back looking for Daffney. Goldberg is here. Mike Tenay is with WHOREASS. Is he crazy for calling Goldberg out? Nope. Okay.
Big Vito vs Johnny The Bull WCW Hardcore Championship
Vito has such a weird body type. He's kind of shaped like The Penguin, but stretched up. Pretty quickly goes to the back. JTB has had no offense so far. This is kind of weird. It's just Vito slowing beating the fuck out of Johnny while shit talking him. Not your normal WCW hardcore match. JTB finally gets some offense and breaks a broom stick, which ends up hitting him back in the face. They climb up some scaffolding and Vito hits his DDT through a table from it.
TO THE BACK. Cat is still looking for contracts. Looks like he finally found Scott Hall's contract. Wouldn't it have been easier to just have someone from the main office fax it? The trainer is helping JTB to his dressing room when Terry Funk stops by to help. Chavo is looking for the MIA when he's attacked by Rey and The Artist. GI Bro saves him. Bro calls a meeting and says it is time to get serious. Booker promotes Captain Rection to General Rection. Positively Kanyon has come out to the ring, which is the kind of shit Booker was talking about.
Positively Kanyon is out to talk. Man, he's got DDP down pat. It's awesome. He's putting out an open challenge. I bet it is GI Bro. Called it. Well, at least he actually has apropriate war music instead of the weird New Jack Swing stuff he had after he lost his T. Book hits some moves and Kanyon bails. Then GI Bro rips his camo off to reveal his normal Booker T gear. The announcers freak out over wondering if he's back to being Booker T again. But he's wrestled every match in his Booker T gear since GI Bro started up. He just comes out in camo. But he wrestled in his old gear.
TO THE BACK. David is still looking for Daffney. He finds her just sitting in random furniture in the middle of nowhere. She slaps him. Goldberg and Horace get ready for their match.
Horace vs Goldberg
I lol at Hulk selling a jackhammer through a table more than he sold getting run over by a Hummer. Scott Steiner wanted to go out and help Horace, but Nash said to just let it play out. One of the cops walking Goldberg walked right into a light. Twice. Horace attacks as soon as Bill gets in the ring. Goldberg has such an air of menace to him. It's amazing to see the difference between him and Ryback. Goldberg misses a punch and hits the ring post, which opens up some chair shots from Horace. A big boot sends Goldberg down, but only pisses him off, so he pops up and hits the spear. Jackhammer for the win. Crowd still pops for Goldberg and his moves. Post match, Goldberg chokes Horace out.
TO THE BACK. Kevin and Scott say this might work in their favor. Cat is walking to the ring with a briefcase handcuffed to himself.
The Cat vs Kevin Nash for control of Scott Hall's contract.
Again, wrestling logic kicks in here that I don't understand. If you can have matches for control of a contract that belongs to a media conglomerate, why can't you just fire a guy? The briefcase with the contract is handcuffed to Mark Madden. This should be a Scott Hall's Contract on a Mark Madden on a pole match. But Cat is wearing the key around his neck, so I don't think it matters much who the briefcase is attached to. Cat calls for some help, but is cut off before he can get it out of the microphone. He tries to get on Madden's headset to waive the outside interference rule. I thought that was specifically for Scott Steiner, not everyone. Cat gets things turned around with a low blow, but a LARIATTOOOO takes him out. Jackknife gets the easy win for Kevin Nash. Nash opens the briefcase only to find it full of pictures of The Cat. KICK HIS ASS chants start up, but Goldberg shows up on the NitroVision. He's holding Hall's contract and challenges Nash for it. Oh, you mean like the match he just had for Hall's contract? Goldberg then EATS the contract. Hmm. Is that still valid after something like that? With Hall injured and WCW having no intentions of actually bringing him back, I have to think this was all just a way that Nash came up with to have an excuse to justify continuing to pay Scott Hall.
TO THE BACK. Tenay asks Nash about the match. Nash's birthday is the same day as the BATB, he has a house in Tampa, and Scott Hall only lives 40 minutes away from the arena. Steiner then gets asked about his title match. "JEFF JARRETT CAN KISS MY ASS!"
Rey Mysterio Jr vs Lt. Loco vs The Artist WCW Cruiserweight Championship.
God damn it, this fucking music. Fucking Konnan. Fucking Rey and his stupid over alls. Juvi Juice is on color at least. New Jabroni Order is the new name for MIA. The Jewserweight Division. I think it stopped being the Jewserweight division when Dean Malenko left, though. Chavo did a frog splash that wasn't terrible? Holy shit. How bizarre. Chavo pins The Artist with the tornado DDT in a totally nothing match. I think it was just an excuse to get the women into a fight. I'm sure we'll get a triple threat match between them that will be excellent.
TO THE BACK. Tenay is interviewing Daffney, but seems pissed because it was on his schedule. David shows up with black roses singing to her, trying to win her back. She falls for it. He gets her to leave and go to the hotel. They didn't cut away fast enough, so we see Daffney drive about one foot before stopping the car. Quick cut to David walking right into Stacy's arms. That son of a bitch. As it turns out, Daffney forgot her flowers and came back in to see David and Stacy kissing on the monitor.
The Perfect Event vs Tank Abbott/Rick Steiner WCW Tag Team Championships
I'm jealous of Rick Steiner's facial hair. It's aggressively manly. Tank jumps into the crowd and chases a fan out of the arena. The champs double team Rick on the floor for at least a minute with no count at all. Rick makes a come back and nearly wins, but Chuck hits him with a Lex Flexxxer and the champs hit a double flapjack to win their first match as tag champions.
TO THE BACK. Demon sans face paint, and Asya are talking in the back. Dale says he blames him and that they can't have a normal life until he's out of the picture. Asya says him a few times. Then Dale gives her the Demon gear and says to get rid of it. I think The Demon is supposed to be its own separate person? Vampiro was watching on a monitor. He didn't know how to react, either.
Vampiro is out for a promo. The announcers speak of Dale Torborg repeatedly. That's his SHOOT name, you see. Vamp thought he'd have something in common with The Demon. I'm pretty sure Vamp is a coke head. That's the only reason I can think of that he keeps sniffing and touching his nose. He calls out the people who are closest to The Demon. Dale "The Demon" Torborg and Asya. Don't you get it? Dale Torborg is the Deam! They came out to God of Thunder, but Vamp makes them cut the music because he's just Dale. He asks if it makes you feel empty when a part of you disappears. The lights go out with a boom and when they come back on, Asya is gone. It happens again and this time Vampiro is gone. On the NitroVision, we saw Vampiro driving away in a hearse. So awful.
TO THE BACK. Scott Steiner and his YAK are waiting for their cue to start warming up. They didn't get it, so they just ended up standing there before staring at the camera waiting for it. The Triple Threat head to the ring. Buff and Kronik head to the ring.
Triple Threat vs Buff Bagwell/Kronik
I think it is total bullshit that Buff and Kronik are on the same team now after a month of Buff being the most obnoxious twat to them possible. But he gets suspended and comes back to be on the same side? Bullshit. Skip has his arm in a sling, so I expect him to probably do all the bumping for his team. I wonder how Crush got rid of his face tattoo without scaring. Half the people in this match are dead. The other half probably wish they were. Shane does the 3 Amigos on Buff. Buff's hair always weirded me out. How it had the same widow's peak in the back as it did in the front. Hudson calls the double arm DDT as the Kenta Kobashi DDT, to which Tony very sarcastically makes him repeat so he can say they call it the Buff DDT in Japan. Tony, pls. Kronik hit High Times on Bam Bam. Skip breaks the pin with the weakest hit of some kind of international object. They chase him out. Buff goes for the Blockbuster, but Bammer catches him in an atomic drop. So he goes to the other corner and hits the Blockbuster for the win. What. Shane attacks Buff post match. Decent enough match, really. Kronik's music hits and they come back for the save.
TO THE BACK. Jarrett/Awesome head to the ring. Steiner and YAK head to the ring.
Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Steiner WCW Championship
Mike Awesome is the special ref. Cat is also out for color. Commentary, that is. You racists. "You know Cat, as commissioner, you're supposed to make the most exciting matches. I'm here to tell you, YOU SUCK." Jeff attacks from behind before Scott can get much farther. The titlawhirl side slam! I feel like it had been a long time since Scott did that. Jeff throws the YAK into the ring. She then jumps on his back. Now the fight has gone into the stands. Wouldn't it make sense for Awesome to have DQd or counted Steiner out? Instead, he's called it completely down the middle. Actually, he hasn't done anything at all. And wouldn't it make more sense to have Goldberg and Steiner switch positions? Have Steiner be the hired monster muscle of the New Blood and Goldberg be the only guy who can knock him down a peg. "I just suplexed...Scott Steiner!" Lol. I thought we were going to see the Screwdriver, but it was just a vertical suplex. This is pretty good, actually. Scott puts on the recliner, which is now an illegal hold. Cat tells him to break, slides Awesome a chair, and makes Awesome break it up with a chair shot. Before this point, Awesome was completely impartial. Now they're double teaming Scott. Awesome is put in the recliner, which gives Jeff a chance to use the guitar for the win. Cat says he's going to whoop Scott's ass, but dances first. He turns around into a belly to belly. Scott then fights off all three men until Goldberg flattens him with a spear. Kevin Nash runs out, but Goldberg bails and then salutes him. As in a military salute, not a Stone Cold salute. WE'RE OUTTA TIME!
What a surprise, the show is much better when we don't have Russo or Bischoff on screen every 5 minutes. The thing about Goldberg is that he's actually a pretty good heel, it just made no sense to make him a heel in the first place. But he's good at being the bad ass monster heel who will murder fools and be cocky about it. That was probably the least over booked Jeff Jarrett title match in WCW or TNA.
