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[brandonh83]

Another review written in a sarcastic and cynical tone. It lacks information and detail that couldn't be extrapolated by the released footage. Reads like a douchey bit of crap. These unprofessional internet critic poser reviews are always terrible whether they're subjectively right or wrong.

Not in denial or any bullshit like that but I don't think many would disagree.

 

[Superflat]

The only reviewers that inject humor into their impressions that I've enjoyed has been RLM. They will likely tear holes into JW, but they don't rely on snark nearly as much and points out things clearly. It's the only impression I'm looking forward to, really.

 

[brandonh83]

The only reviewers that inject humor into their impressions that I've enjoyed has been RLM. They will likely tear holes into JW, but they don't rely on snark nearly as much and points out things clearly. It's the only impression I'm looking forward to, really.

Oh god I'm looking forward to RLM's impressions about as much as getting thrown into a woodchipper. Why would you do that to yourself, unless you love to wallow in the cynicism of others

 

[Superflat]

Oh god I'm looking forward to RLM's impressions about as much as getting thrown into a woodchipper. Why would you do that to yourself, unless you love to wallow in the cynicism of others

I dunno, I actually found them to be getting softer recently and enjoying some films as they are. They enjoyed Dark Knight Rises, Avengers, Age of Ultron, and plenty of other blockbuster films that people like to dislike. They weren't even all that harsh on the new live action Ninja Turtles movie o_o

Now RLM's gaming sub-unit, they're a fucking tough crowd.

 

[Curler]

I feel like if the original JP came out today (and let's say CG quality was up to speed) that there would still be a bunch of cynics that point out all the flaws just for the sake of it.

"The t-rex was on flat ground and suddenly there's a drop?! WTF movie?! Terrible movie can't even be consistent..."

 

[Timu]

I'm going to keep finding as many reviews as possible before the embargo, but man, it seems like most of these early reviews aren't done well at all!!!

 

[Superflat]

I'm going to keep finding as many reviews as possible before the embargo, but man, it seems like most of these early reviews aren't done well at all!!!

Yes, please do so! So far all it's shown me is that embargo breakers are mediocre hit-seeking bloggers who can't review much at all. I'm all for critical reviews, but it's hard to take any of them seriously when they try to lean on their "wit" to describe how it's bad, and using vague language. Maybe a decent one will pop out before embargo.

 

[brandonh83]

Yes, please do so! So far all it's shown me is that embargo breakers are mediocre hit-seeking bloggers who can't review much at all. I'm all for critical reviews, but it's hard to take any of them seriously when they try to lean on their "wit" to describe how it's bad, and using vague language. Maybe a decent one will pop out before embargo.

It's just the hipster gotta be hip and cool attitude that people think are cool or funny these days. It's for a certain crowd, but utterly worthless to me.

 

[Vidiot]

Some of the complaints in the last dudes review sounded cool to me. :/

 

[Calcium]

Another Jurassic World review

I like the part where he admits to liking the movie on some level, but felt the need to remind himself that he is a "film critic" so he had to hate it. Neat.

 

[Superflat]

Some of the complaints in the last dudes review sounded cool to me. :/

Yeah, that's exactly my issue with it. All the review states as far as complaints has none of the "how" attached.

Worse is how the review digs around in the "insult box" to pull out truly original and blind speculation implying that the film was made by corporate men and women in suits, and is a product of heavy focus-testing, despite multiple sources saying the contrary.

 

[Toa TAK]

Another Jurassic World review

2/5

Did he just compare this to The Amazing Spider Man 2 at the end???

If it's anywhere near as bad as TASM2 I have no idea what I'll do.

Anyone who knows me knows what I think of TASM2... And I did the fucking OT for it, too.

 

[DonMigs85]

Reviewer seems like another cynical anti-corporate type to me. He did at least seem excited about that late scene, maybe it's the T-Rex vs Indominus fight

 

[Superflat]

Chris Pratt interview, pretty coo

Trevorrow interview starts at around 9 mins in, almost closed the video lol

 

[MoonsaultSlayer]

So I'm kind of impressed with a sort of board/battle game I created with my son's JW toys. I'll try and share it later but I'd almost rather find someone to collaborate with for a mobile game. It was pretty dang fun. I'm not even sure where/how to start for such a thing.

 

[Jawmuncher]

So I'm kind of impressed with a sort of board/battle game I created with my son's JW toys. I'll try and share it later but I'd almost rather find someone to collaborate with for a mobile game. It was pretty dang fun. I'm not even sure where/how to start for such a thing.

You could potentially try to recreate it in tabletop simulator

 

[Werewolf Jones]

When is the OT going up?

 

[Toa TAK]

When is the OT going up?

Right now, the 10th, since there are theaters showing it then. If it does go up by the 10th, expect it sometime in the afternoon PST.

 

[MoonsaultSlayer]

Right now, the 10th, since there are theaters showing it then. If it does go up by the 10th, expect it sometime in the afternoon PST.

We'll see™.

You could potentially try to recreate it in tabletop simulator

Thanks, I'll look into whatever that is.

 

[Timu]

Sigh, another no depth review

"In my opinion, I will score this movie 9 out of 10 for computer graphics but 6 for story."

Lol what kind of review is this? Seriously, end embargo, just end already, all these outlet reviews are not good!!!

 

[Superflat]

Sigh, another no depth review

"In my opinion, I will score this movie 9 out of 10 for computer graphics but 6 for story."

Lol what kind of review is this? Seriously, end embargo, just end already, all these outlet reviews are not good!!!

There's a review in there somewhere?

:U

 

[Timu]

Maybe a decent one will pop out before embargo.

I doubt it, unless it's on reddit.=O

 

[More_Badass]

Man, that "final" trailer really got me hyped for this

1) That scene at 1:06, that has to be the kids finding the old visitor center/ruins of the original park, right?

2) The roars at the end, that sounds like the T-Rex and something else, likely the Indominus Rex. Anyone else hearing that too?

 

[Timu]

OMFG!!!

I found a half decent review!!!

4/5

Says it's better than JP3(wouldn't take much)

Has complaints about the plot but finds the movie still entertaining with good things going for it!!!

 

[Superflat]

OMFG!!!

I found a half decent review!!!

4/5

Says it's better than JP3(wouldn't take much)

Has complaints about the plot but finds the movie still entertaining with good things going for it!!!

Dang, just 1.5 stars on humor? That's surprising

On the user score, there's a category rating for "Erotik", of which it has three stars. Hot dinos

 

[Demoncarnotaur]

Can't wait. Not long at all now.

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

You know, I have liked to have seen more of that red horned t-rex in JPIII

 

[Superflat]

You know, I have liked to have seen more of that red horned t-rex in JPIII

I don't know why it had to get as close as it did to realize that the Spinosaurus's shit stank

 

[DonMigs85]

You know, I have liked to have seen more of that red horned t-rex in JPIII

That was a Ceratosaurus

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

That was a Ceratosaurus

It was so cute.

 

[Timu]

2 more days until that embargo lifts!!!

 

[Bernbaum]

Gonna suspend my disbelief like a motherfucker for my first viewing. If it's crap, I'll reserve sharing my opinions until after a second viewing.

 

[Blablurn]

THE WEEK HAS COME

 

[Roelatie]

My body is ready! Thursday cant come soon enough. To mentally prepare myself I will watch TLW & JP3 these days to lower the bar...

 

[TheLegendOfMart]

I watched JP3D on saturday, TLW last night and I'm gonna watch JP3 tonight and binge on the soundtrack until Thursday.

 

[brandonh83]

14 years.

 

[Rootbeer]

The reviews are really not inspiring me right now. But... they are not coming from very established sources, so maybe it's a fluke. Must stay positive! Positive!

 

[brandonh83]

The reviews are really not inspiring me right now. But... they are not coming from very established sources, so maybe it's a fluke. Must stay positive! Positive!

They're basically blog posts and there have been plenty of positive imoressions so far.

 

[Demoncarnotaur]

I don't plan on giving it a # rating, but I will genuinely try to craft a well structured and in depth review. It will probably hit JW org, but I'll be sure to post here as well.

I may do a podcast or video blog also. Lots to do in these next few days!

 

[Anton Sugar]

Marathoned the entire series yesterday with a friend.

Guys, The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3 are not good movies. They aren't. Both my friend and I decided that is the last time we need to see TLW/JP3 ever again. They're just thoroughly mediocre.

Even scenes that seemed great in our memories weren't that great. The compy scene goes on too long, the T-Rex trailer attack is so tonally and logically inconsistent to the point of distraction, the raptors get very stupid, etc.

God, the San Diego scene is so awful.

Don't even get me started on JP3.

I think they seemed even WORSE, because we had just watched Jurassic Park. That T-Rex escape is the real-fucking-deal and is borderline horror.

 

[brandonh83]

I rewatched them too and while they both have poor aspects JP3 is still a fun and quick adventure to me. I would never watch TLW over it. Ever.

 

[Toa TAK]

I'm starting my rewatch today. Jurassic Park, then TLW tomorrow, then JP3 on Wednesday.

EDIT: THEN JURASSIC WORLD ON THURRRSDAY!

 

[Superflat]

I'm probably only going to rewatch JP before I go into JW

 

[Razmos]

They've been playing the first 3 films quite a lot on UK television, and I've been watching the cinema sins videos on the sequels. Yeah, the sequels are not good movies. There are a few good moments in there but they are overall pretty meh.

Pretty hyped to watch Jurassic World next week :3

At the very worst there are bound to be a few good moments in there like the sequels, and it won't take much for it to become the best Jurassic Park sequel.

 

[MoonsaultSlayer]

I've seen JP a handful of times (along with special features) these last few weeks. Moving onto single viewings of TLW and 3 this week. My son doesn't know them as much. Seeing TLW with him Friday night and then again with fam and friends on the weekend.

Soon!

 

[Werewolf Jones]

I'm starting my rewatch today. Jurassic Park, then TLW tomorrow, then JP3 on Wednesday.

EDIT: THEN JURASSIC WORLD ON THURRRSDAY!

Same man, same. I'm ready for this.

 

[Jawmuncher]

 

[Timu]

Another positive review that isn't bad

4/5

Praises action, characters and humor.

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

I think they seemed even WORSE, because we had just watched Jurassic Park. That T-Rex escape is the real-fucking-deal and is borderline horror.

No scene comes close to it in JP.

 

[Calcium]

Only 4 more days...