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Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me

S

Sickness702

Member
StarCreator said:
I read the updates, same as you, and I don't think it's that clear cut. In particular, the source of all the trouble was always suspect; the other dude has a vested interest in breaking up the relationship if he's that thirsty for the girl.

Literally every relationship thread on here sides against the girl, regardless of the circumstances, to the point I'm suspecting a trend of jaded misogyny.
Click to expand...

This is what we do know. She met a man on more than one occasion without the OP knowing. She shared her contact info with this man that lead to multiple private conversations without the OP knowing. The guys thirst for this girl would not be an issue if she cut contact with him but she did not do this. If she cheated on the OP or not is unknown at this time but the private conversations and meet ups are not acceptable.

If she had a problem with this guy contacting her she should have told the OP.

If she was actually friends with this guy she should have told the OP she was going to go meet up with him.

Either way she should have told the OP but she didn't so this makes her look guilty of hiding something.
 
D

Dead End Irony

Member
Souless_PJ said:
OP I went though something similar when I was young and dumb.

GF was being shady - I found out about it. Confronted her - put the blame back on me for doubting her / looking for evidence.

We broke up - she started seeing the new guy who she claimed was just her friend.

It’s a story as old as time.

GET OUT NOW.
Click to expand...

Yup. Same experience here. Good learning experience though!
 
S

Sickness702

Member
Kevtones said:
Trotting out misogyny when most are reacting to the facts of the situation logically is shitty.

What woman unblocks a 'creepy' guy she wasn't interested in after a long period of no contact, to meet up, behind her boyfriend's back? Not only that, she said she wasn't seeing him and was planning to meet him. She lied straight up and tried to make him feel guilty immediately.

This is textbook. We'd love to be wrong but this reeks.
Click to expand...

Bingo

giphy.gif
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
StarCreator said:
I read the updates, same as you, and I don't think it's that clear cut. In particular, the source of all the trouble was always suspect; the other dude has a vested interest in breaking up the relationship if he's that thirsty for the girl.

Literally every relationship thread on here sides against the girl, regardless of the circumstances, to the point I'm suspecting a trend of jaded misogyny.
Click to expand...
Really? MOST believed her when she called the dude in front of OP. Then she comes back with this guilt shit after being suspicious and KEEPING a dating app on her phone for 1.5 years of a relationship just to “talk” to friends on there. Pls get off your high horse 💁🏽*♀️
 
B

Brinbe

Member
Almost 900 posts in now. My dude, you know what you gotta do. So just do it already. This girl is clearly not worth the drama and the heartache. Nothing makes sense because she's been playing around on you and lying her ass off. Sever and move the fuck on from all this. Plain and simple, all that she's been doing IS NOT NORMAL. And deep down, you know that.

The best exercise to do is imagine if all this shit was happening to some other person? What would you think then? All the excuses, and all the hoops one must fly through just to meet up with some friend? Yeah, fuck outta here is what you'd be thinking. I know it's hard to exercise that judgment with your own situations, but damn... again, you know what you gotta do.
 
Ryzaki009

Ryzaki009

Member
LegendofDragoonLives said:
To be fair, almost every single relationship thread on gaf ends up with cheating. It's usually less than 5% where it ends up a happy story :p
Click to expand...

Even the damn cute thread with the girl at work flirting had the OP later reveal he was in a relationship. I mean if that thread wasn't safe nothing was.
 
eot

eot

Banned
Sickness702 said:
Just think off all the times you were sitting right next to her and she was talking to her "friends" without you knowing what was going on.

Do you wonder why she never told you about these "friends?" Is it because she knew you would get upset? If she knew you would get upset why was she still doing it? If she did it knowing you would get upset but still continued to do it does she really care about your feelings?

If they talk behind your back it would be easy to come up with a plan to make it look like nothing was happening between them. My theory is they are fuck buddies and he want's more than what she is willing to offer but she is still down to smash. I base this off of a couple things you wrote.

1) The guy told that they met on the same dating app on which me and my gf met.

--- If she hooked up with you on the app you know she is down to meet people from the app

2) They've been dating for a couple of months and have met a few times. Didnt say anything about physical relations.

----She met him more than once during your relationship so she is down to creep behind your back.

3) The guy is sure my gf likes him and that things will progress slowly and then they might think of getting married.

--- Booty calls start as sex but someone always catches feelings. In his case they smashed a couple times which makes him think they may have something

4) She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

--- Why would she be chatting with him live while at the mall? This means it's more than just "he messages me every once in a while."

5) She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

--- This right here should be clear as day to you.... if it's someone who pesters her and she doesn't like him why would she talk to him across multiple apps? Come on now bruh. She is clearly lying to you about their relationship. It's also easy to delete her comments to make it look one sided. I also think she purposely kept those one sided conversations open just in case you find out so she can show you she was "innocent."

6) Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

--- Let me decipher this for you...

Her "Why did you open your mouth to my friend?
Him: "I didn't"
Her: "What did you say then?"
Him: "I just said that I like you but I didn't say we were fucking"
Her: "Are you sure you didn't say anything?"
Him: "Yeah, i'm sure"
Her: I told you I have a man so you know you can't be more than a booty call"
Him: " "But I want to be more than fuck buddies"

6) So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

--- So the real friends she met she only keeps on the dating app but the guy she doesn't like gets access to all her other social media accounts????? She also said she deleted the app and didn't have plans of doing anything but she reinstalled it while she was at the mall just to find this guy happened to be there at the same time?
Click to expand...

Savage,

you could be right though
 
E

EloquentM

aka Mannny
FullMetaltech said:
Man i stopped at when OP had sex. Now the saga still continues? Yeah id be second guessing the fact that shes turning shit back at you.
Click to expand...
Pls see this helpful summary below


EloquentM said:
Updated

1. Suspicious girlfriend
2. Girlfriend ousts other man as “crazy creeper”
3. OP believes the acting (give that girl an Oscar)
4. XXXSEXXX (entrapment)
5. Girlfriend calls back blaming OP for his mistrust (surprise!!! The sex was a ruse!)
6. SUSPICIOUS GIRLFRIEND

Life is an ouroboros 🤔
Click to expand...
 
M

MegaManTrigger

Banned
StarCreator said:
I read the updates, same as you, and I don't think it's that clear cut. In particular, the source of all the trouble was always suspect; the other dude has a vested interest in breaking up the relationship if he's that thirsty for the girl.

Literally every relationship thread on here sides against the girl, regardless of the circumstances, to the point I'm suspecting a trend of jaded misogyny.
Click to expand...

Why does it matter what the other dude does? Because at the end of the day, she is the one making the decision whether to pursue him while she's still in a relationship or not. She could easily have said no, and it wouldn't be relevant, but the key is she didn't.

It's not jaded misogyny, I would've said the same thing if OP and his gf's genders were reversed. The bottom line is it's shitty to go behind someone's back, and then be manipulative and flip the guilt onto him when she's the one who started this problem.
 
M

Matticers

Member
Wait, what? OP believed her and took her back?

tenor.gif


The fact that she still uses a dating app while dating you/talking to you about marriage is enough reason to bail. Meeting guys from there on top of that just makes it worse. She shouldn't have any need or desire for that stuff. Run away.
 
S

Saucestin_Roast

Member
OP, you deserve better than this POS. It's sickening how some people toy with other's emotions. Be angry, know that you deserve better and move on. No need to waste your time with feeling badly for months over someone who would treat you like that.
 
M

Metroid

Member
Just think off all the times you were sitting right next to her and she was talking to her "friends" without you knowing what was going on.

Do you wonder why she never told you about these "friends?" Is it because she knew you would get upset? If she knew you would get upset why was she still doing it? If she did it knowing you would get upset but still continued to do it does she really care about your feelings?

If they talk behind your back it would be easy to come up with a plan to make it look like nothing was happening between them. My theory is they are fuck buddies and he want's more than what she is willing to offer but she is still down to smash. I base this off of a couple things you wrote.

1) The guy told that they met on the same dating app on which me and my gf met.

--- If she hooked up with you on the app you know she is down to meet people from the app

2) They've been dating for a couple of months and have met a few times. Didnt say anything about physical relations.

----She met him more than once during your relationship so she is down to creep behind your back.

3) The guy is sure my gf likes him and that things will progress slowly and then they might think of getting married.

--- Booty calls start as sex but someone always catches feelings. In his case they smashed a couple times which makes him think they may have something

4) She said they met twice. Once in the beginning once a couple months back when they were in the same mall and he kept asking her to meet.

--- Why would she be chatting with him live while at the mall? This means it's more than just "he messages me every once in a while."

5) She showed me the chats on Whatsapp and Fb (the first thing I checked was the app, she doesnt have it anymore). It was mostly him msging her frequently and she ignoring him, though it didnt seem antagonistic from her side either.

--- This right here should be clear as day to you.... if it's someone who pesters her and she doesn't like him why would she talk to him across multiple apps? Come on now bruh. She is clearly lying to you about their relationship. It's also easy to delete her comments to make it look one sided. I also think she purposely kept those one sided conversations open just in case you find out so she can show you she was "innocent."

6) Her:"Hi. So why did you tell my friend that I was flirting with you?"
Him"I didnt say that."
Her:"Then what did you say?"
Him:"I just said that I saw her and your pics together and that I like you. Thats it."
Her:"And you said nothing like I was flirting with you or that I was single?"
Him:"No."
Her:"When I told you that I am thinking of marrying a guy and my parents are meeting him, then why are you still telling my friend all this?"
Him:"I only said I like you. Nothing else."

--- Let me decipher this for you...

Her "Why did you open your mouth to my friend?
Him: "I didn't"
Her: "What did you say then?"
Him: "I just said that I like you but I didn't say we were fucking"
Her: "Are you sure you didn't say anything?"
Him: "Yeah, i'm sure"
Her: I told you I have a man so you know you can't be more than a booty call"
Him: " "But I want to be more than fuck buddies"

6) So looks like the guy was lying. We still did have a chat about her keeping the dating app in her phone after we met, and she gave the same explanation that she used to talk to a couple of guys who had become her friends over there. Nevertheless she agreed it looks wrong and that she had deleted the app long back and had no plans of doing any such thing.

--- So the real friends she met she only keeps on the dating app but the guy she doesn't like gets access to all her other social media accounts????? She also said she deleted the app and didn't have plans of doing anything but she reinstalled it while she was at the mall just to find this guy happened to be there at the same time?
Click to expand...

This sounds way too plausible
 
Sygma

Sygma

Member
Hylian7 said:
Are you literally incapable of not wanting to bang every straight woman that exists or something? That's a pretty mysoginist view IMO.
Click to expand...

I don't even know how you're jumping to that conclusion. When I'm single and emotionally available, I'd effectively like to get it going with as many women possible before me and her decide to have an exclusive, commited relationship. Im saying me and her but mostly, that would be her bringing it on the table since I'd never do that to begin with. But for that to happen there needs to be attraction and whatnot.

If I'm in a serious relationship, I wouldn't keep any single "close" woman friend who isn't a mutual one, because I wouldn't like that my SO feels insecure about it. Like, why would I be a friend to someone I dedicate some of my time, exclusively, when I do have a significant other who's supposed to get all of that in the first place.


Tell to yourself, what's a friend in your mind ? Someone you're not attracted to but that you like to have as company, even tho you don't really share the same activities and whatnot ? or is that person more of a support when you need one. Like, that person you go to when shit is going down. or ther person you talk to more personaly outside of your SO, but said person is still a woman.

Because that to me isn't a friend, it's your escape

Is that the attractive girl you randomly met, which happens to be an awesome chick but there's some of flirtalitious banter ... still nothing big because in the end of the day you come back to your woman, yet you have that possibility in mind. But you put her in the "friend" zone like the selfish, self deceptive dude that you are, who likes the attention + the possibility of an option if for some reason your relationship ends.

As I said I have lesbian friends which are manlier than most dudes around here yet are very very feminine with their sensitivity, between other things. + they're firemen / women so heh. These are friends yeah, because we share a lot of things while I know that romantically speaking, nothing would ever happen

For everything else, bros are where it's at, for the sake of zero ambiguity coupled to a clear mind regarding the status of a possible "female friend". Which never really is one
 
M

McLovin

Member
Hey doesnt she have the OP as BF/fiancé on FB? If they guy is really dating her wouldn’t that show up on her page? Doesnt the gf not have any pics with the OP?
 
O

OmegaTreeFish

Banned
Ok with this new info its time to start doubting. Will eat crow if its due lol.

Was plausible before but throwing it in your face and missing messages. Smells funny now.
 
A

Akuun

Looking for meaning in GAF
LegendofDragoonLives said:
To be fair, almost every single relationship thread on gaf ends up with cheating. It's usually less than 5% where it ends up a happy story :p
Click to expand...
It's not too surprising. People only make relationship threads if there's something seriously wrong.

People don't make threads talking about relationships going fine, because otherwise everyone would just yell at them for humble bragging.
 
M

mordecaii83

Member
McLovin said:
Hey doesnt she have the OP as BF/fiancé on FB? If they guy is really dating her wouldn’t that show up on her page? Doesnt the gf not have any pics with the OP?
Click to expand...

I didn't really think about this, but I wonder if OP can chime in on this? You said she has FB, are you listed as her BF on there? Pictures of you two? I know someone who basically omitted their SO on FB, turns out it was because they were juggling two people and they were trying to hide it. Not really a surprise when you think about it, but if everything seems good you don't really question it.
 
Dice//

Dice//

Banned
Hylian7 said:
Are you literally incapable of not wanting to bang every straight woman that exists or something? That's a pretty mysoginist view IMO.
Click to expand...

Akuun said:
It's not too surprising. People only make relationship threads if there's something seriously wrong.

People don't make threads talking about relationships going fine, because otherwise everyone would just yell at them for humble bragging.
Click to expand...

In addition to that, GAF is, I'm pretty sure, majority male too so hearing a lot of topics cut up cheating women is...probably just the way it is given the demographic here.

Some threads can def be accused of misogynistic undertones though
 
M

mordecaii83

Member
Ralemont said:
Just tested it with a friend to be sure. Sent him a message, he sent me one. Blocked him, messages stayed. Easy to replicate.
Click to expand...

I'm leaning towards she either considered getting with the other guy or actually did get with the other guy but changed her mind, deleted all messages and blocked him, and then changed her mind again recently which is why he's now un-blocked.

I'm probably wrong, but it just seems that way to me.
 
R

Ralemont

not me
mordecaii83 said:
I'm leaning towards she either considered getting with the other guy, or actually did get with the other guy but changed her mind, deleted all messages and blocked him, and then re-changed her mind recently which is why he's now un-blocked.

I'm probably wrong, but it just seems that way to me.
Click to expand...

That's what I'd assume, too.

For the record OP, none of it is proof she actually cheated, but that's somewhat small consolation considering what it does, at minimum, imply.
 
Musha_Soturi

Musha_Soturi

Member
Sygma said:
I don't even know how you're jumping to that conclusion. When I'm single and emotionally available, I'd effectively like to get it going with as many women possible before me and her decide to have an exclusive, commited relationship. Im saying me and her but mostly, that would be her bringing it on the table since I'd never do that to begin with. But for that to happen there needs to be attraction and whatnot.

If I'm in a serious relationship, I wouldn't keep any single "close" woman friend who isn't a mutual one, because I wouldn't like that my SO feels insecure about it. Like, why would I be a friend to someone I dedicate some of my time, exclusively, when I do have a significant other who's supposed to get all of that in the first place.


Tell to yourself, what's a friend in your mind ? Someone you're not attracted to but that you like to have as company, even tho you don't really share the same activities and whatnot ? or is that person more of a support when you need one. Like, that person you go to when shit is going down. or ther person you talk to more personaly outside of your SO, but said person is still a woman.

Because that to me isn't a friend

Is that the attractive girl you randomly met, which happens to be an awesome chick but there's some of flirtalitious banter ... still nothing big because in the end of the day you come back to your woman, yet you have that possibility in mind. But you put her in the "friend" zone like the selfish, self deceptive dude that you are, who likes the attention + the possibility of an option if for some reason your relationship ends.

As I said I have lesbian friends which are manlier than most dudes around here yet are very very feminine with their sensitivity, between other things. + they're firemen / women so heh. These are friends yeah, because we share a lot of things while I know that romantically speaking, nothing would ever happen

For everything else, bros are where it's at
Click to expand...

I feel sorry for you
 
A

Adam_Roman

Member
I was hoping it was resolved, but this shit just keeps going deeper. The biggest red flag is the block/unblock. The only time I've ever done that is to get someone to unfollow me on Twitter/instagram. If this guy was a creep there's no reason for her to unblock him, and there's no reason for her to meet up with him again, especially if the first time was either before or right at the start of you two dating.
 
R

Ragelink26

Member
mordecaii83 said:
I'm leaning towards she either considered getting with the other guy or actually did get with the other guy but changed her mind, deleted all messages and blocked him, and then changed her mind again recently which is why he's now un-blocked.

I'm probably wrong, but it just seems that way to me.
Click to expand...

I was just about to post this.

It doesn't change the fact that what she's doing is super suspicious, but it does at least explain this part.
 
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