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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF
- Thread starter Mineshaft_Gap
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ThoseDeafMutes
Member
The_Technomancer said:
You should have reacted like this.
Jin34 said:
I could provide some. Currently rocking one.
phisheep
NeoGAF's Chief Barrister
Al-ibn Kermit said:
One thing a lot of people don't realise is that it isn't all that hard to get a PhD in something that is still total crap regardless of how many people get qualifications in it.
But at that point I think I'll leave the thread for fear of revealing too much of my ancient and insalubrious (and fun) past ..
Devolution
Member
Chinner said:
SolidusDave
Member
cooljeanius said:
I don't really want to link the wiki masturbation article as it's highly NSFW, but the source would be this I guess:
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-data.html#masturbation
Only 10% (15?) though and I doubt that's all in public
...and don't ask me why I looked that up, I just happen to remember this little info for no reason.
CountAntonius
Member
Ezalc said:
I got work to do...
Devolution
Member
icarus-daedelus said:
Devolution
Member
Plywood said:
Couple eps because a pal is really into it.
ColonialRaptor
Member
If there is such a thing as being too picky, then you're looking at it.
I'm not even very good looking but I am so picky that even if a woman is totally gorgeous if they have any of the traits that I don't like in a woman then I'll just turn them away.
Being a man in this day and age, where women are the ones who make the decision to have sex or not has totally changed the balance of power in the world, the majority of boys and wanna be men don't know it but women hold most of the power because they control the sex now.
It needs to stop, it needs to be reversed, men everywhere need to band together and STOP being so damn needy, stop letting any woman that looks at them with a flutter of the eyes fuck them and take the power of the penis back from the power of the pussy.
Haha! What a rant, I didn't even know I felt this way, I'm destined to be alone forever,
I'm not even very good looking but I am so picky that even if a woman is totally gorgeous if they have any of the traits that I don't like in a woman then I'll just turn them away.
Being a man in this day and age, where women are the ones who make the decision to have sex or not has totally changed the balance of power in the world, the majority of boys and wanna be men don't know it but women hold most of the power because they control the sex now.
It needs to stop, it needs to be reversed, men everywhere need to band together and STOP being so damn needy, stop letting any woman that looks at them with a flutter of the eyes fuck them and take the power of the penis back from the power of the pussy.
Haha! What a rant, I didn't even know I felt this way, I'm destined to be alone forever,
ColonialRaptor
Member
This is just the biggest BS. Either you weren't clear enough about your intentions (which you should always be), or she was deliberately cock teasing you. I mean, why else would you be hanging out there... Unless you said something that turned her off and made her changed her mind and she decided to use that as an excuse.The_Technomancer said:
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Considering she's been exactly as friendly since then (and I mean no change in her attitude at all, I'm pretty good at picking that up)....I dunnoColonialRaptor said:
Devolution
Member
ColonialRaptor said:
This whole rant confused me. You say you're too picky then you lament the fact that women have more control of their sexual encounters? What?
Atramental
Banned
ColonialRaptor said:
You need to calm down, son. You're not making sense.
Agent Cooper
Member
Oh, you. *hand gesture that goes with said remark*cooljeanius said:
I've been meaning to post in this thread for a few weeks.
I was with this absolutely wonderful girl for nearly three years up until about a month ago. The crux of her breaking up with me was that when I got drunk all of the issues that I had with the world, with me, and with other people (never her) would come out. She didn't like the fact that I would only do this when I was drunk and I ruined her night. Beyond that everything was fine. We wanted to be with each other and we were talking about spending the rest of our lives together.
Ever since the break up, I've been working on the negative aspects of me. I started going to AA three times a week to have a support structure after I made a decision to stop drinking for good. I started going to a social worker weekly to work out the anger issues. I started doing things I've always wanted to do. All of these things I did for her initially, however a couple days after the breakup, I learned that I wanted to do these things for me.
I'm starting to feel really good about myself in a very long time. However, now I want her back. It's been about a month and we're supposed to talk around Thanksgiving Break. I haven't really spoken to her since then, but judging from her Facebook and Twitter posts, she's still very upset and it looks like she does not want me back at this point. I know she still loves me, but I can tell she's very scared that I will hurt her again.
My game plan for when I talk to her, is to just tell her that I'm feeling good about myself again and that I'm doing all of these things for me. I don't think asking about getting back together will do any good, unless she brings it up which I will be more than happy to talk about. I feel like if I bring that up it she might think that I've been doing all of these positive things for her, and not me (which was true in the beginning, not anymore though). I also feel like if I start talking about getting back together that it will not work out until atleast Winter Break. She goes away to school and I don't think a night of working things out is not going to really change her mind about getting back together. I know this is going to be a gradual heal, and so far for me, time has started to heal my own wounds. I just hope she'll see that I'm better for me, and want to be with me again.
I was with this absolutely wonderful girl for nearly three years up until about a month ago. The crux of her breaking up with me was that when I got drunk all of the issues that I had with the world, with me, and with other people (never her) would come out. She didn't like the fact that I would only do this when I was drunk and I ruined her night. Beyond that everything was fine. We wanted to be with each other and we were talking about spending the rest of our lives together.
Ever since the break up, I've been working on the negative aspects of me. I started going to AA three times a week to have a support structure after I made a decision to stop drinking for good. I started going to a social worker weekly to work out the anger issues. I started doing things I've always wanted to do. All of these things I did for her initially, however a couple days after the breakup, I learned that I wanted to do these things for me.
I'm starting to feel really good about myself in a very long time. However, now I want her back. It's been about a month and we're supposed to talk around Thanksgiving Break. I haven't really spoken to her since then, but judging from her Facebook and Twitter posts, she's still very upset and it looks like she does not want me back at this point. I know she still loves me, but I can tell she's very scared that I will hurt her again.
My game plan for when I talk to her, is to just tell her that I'm feeling good about myself again and that I'm doing all of these things for me. I don't think asking about getting back together will do any good, unless she brings it up which I will be more than happy to talk about. I feel like if I bring that up it she might think that I've been doing all of these positive things for her, and not me (which was true in the beginning, not anymore though). I also feel like if I start talking about getting back together that it will not work out until atleast Winter Break. She goes away to school and I don't think a night of working things out is not going to really change her mind about getting back together. I know this is going to be a gradual heal, and so far for me, time has started to heal my own wounds. I just hope she'll see that I'm better for me, and want to be with me again.
Shit, what's wrong with me? Why do I suddenly feel so uncomfortable at the idea of texting my GF? She was really distant with her texts last week, and she seemed distant/stressed out this Saturday too. She did say she didn't sleep well the night before but didn't elaborate on what was bothering her.
I could text her tomorrow and wish her that this week will be better, but I also feel like some space would be appropriate too...
I could text her tomorrow and wish her that this week will be better, but I also feel like some space would be appropriate too...
blame space
Banned
if I learned anything about having a girlfriend you should see her as little as possible
You think too much to be an attractive male partner, stop thinking. I'm not joking, what female wants to date a man who acts like an insecure boy? You have to remember that females are easy to obtain and keep involved.. just act normal. Girls everywhere are wondering where all the NORMAL guys are at. Shit like wondering about her texts and how her day went are not normal.
Normal is doing what you like in your free time, being independent, secure with yourself and talking to your partner when you cross paths. If anyone in a relationship becomes a creeper, a clinger or an all around insecure jealous train wreck ... it is always doomed to fail. My recommendation to any male in a relationship is to stop watching romantic comedies, stop watching The Notebook and start treating your female like you would your best guy friends, but leave the dick and fart jokes out. Girls just want to be treated normal but special on occasion .. thats all there is to it.
Wondering about how texts, status updates or anything is just silly, immature, boyish and inexperienced behavior. You stick out like a sore thumb and girls will always leave you to upgrade to another male who has it together. Most guys are their own worst enemies but are too stubborn to admit it and are rarely open to changing anything and would rather blame all their problems on how difficult women are. Women are as easy, inner demons and overcoming personal faults are not.
My advice to the guy above me is shape up or ship out. Best of luck.
Normal is doing what you like in your free time, being independent, secure with yourself and talking to your partner when you cross paths. If anyone in a relationship becomes a creeper, a clinger or an all around insecure jealous train wreck ... it is always doomed to fail. My recommendation to any male in a relationship is to stop watching romantic comedies, stop watching The Notebook and start treating your female like you would your best guy friends, but leave the dick and fart jokes out. Girls just want to be treated normal but special on occasion .. thats all there is to it.
Wondering about how texts, status updates or anything is just silly, immature, boyish and inexperienced behavior. You stick out like a sore thumb and girls will always leave you to upgrade to another male who has it together. Most guys are their own worst enemies but are too stubborn to admit it and are rarely open to changing anything and would rather blame all their problems on how difficult women are. Women are as easy, inner demons and overcoming personal faults are not.
My advice to the guy above me is shape up or ship out. Best of luck.
alphaNoid said:
Actually, this reply has no bearing to what I wrote last page, but OK. The problem isn't whether I'm clingy or insecure, because we don't see each other that often, and I have my own stuff to deal with outside of the relationship.
The actual issue is a failure to communicate effectively, or rather trying to bring up the "scary" relationship talk without freaking her out.
edit: PS. I hate the Notebook.
I do thinking you're over thinking it a bit. Remember, she is your girlfriend and she already likes you and cares for you. I know this whole thing is about feeling distant from her, but worrying about how she'll react is probably contributing to the problem. You can't think of her (and the relationship) as so fragile that you don't want to touch her (in a communicative way, not literally.)
Also I'm curious, you said she has been having a bad week but didn't open up about it. Was that after you asked and she didn't want to talk about it, or did you not ask her at all? Because asking questions is an integral part of communication. You can't just wait for someone to give information. I do this too, a little bit (not with my boyfriend so much, but sometimes with other people if I feel I don't want to press them.) But people like having questions asked of them, so it's something I'm trying to work on.
Also I'm curious, you said she has been having a bad week but didn't open up about it. Was that after you asked and she didn't want to talk about it, or did you not ask her at all? Because asking questions is an integral part of communication. You can't just wait for someone to give information. I do this too, a little bit (not with my boyfriend so much, but sometimes with other people if I feel I don't want to press them.) But people like having questions asked of them, so it's something I'm trying to work on.
SRG01 said:
I know this is not my thread to give advice(I have a penis), but I went through a similar situation with my ex-girlfriend about two years back. We were six months in and she was being very short with me. Don't get worried, every girl has a rough time in their lives and a lot of times it happens while your with a girl. Don't try to force the issue and just be there to support her and talk to her. If she feels like telling you whats on her mind, listen. Otherwise it's not wise to interrogate her. You don't have to sit her down and ask what's been going on. Just talk to her like a normal person and ask when you feel she'll be comfortable with telling you.
If you feel there's another issue, maybe take this time to evaluate the relationship and figure out for yourself without asking her what could be causing her to act this way. A lot of times you're just not giving her the proper amount of attention. Stop texting her and just take the time out to talk to her. A relationship should not be through texts but through talking to one another face to face.
EDIT:
I'm being assertive, but I'm wondering what Lady Gaf has to say about my post above. I've been hearing a lot of advice from my best friends and women that have yet to be in a relationship of more than six months. It'd be awesome to hear from you guys about my situation.
Devolution
Member
Random thought but I have to honestly wonder how much texting and that kind of shit makes for crappy communication in general.
Devolution said:
It makes it pretty bad I would think, even if you're constantly texting (I mean the person just becomes words on a phone at that point.) Actually my last boyfriend was always busy AND he was a bit of a technophobe (now I'm dating a programmer, ha what a switch) so I would just get occasional texts in between when we could meet up. It was really bad to be honest. So I can understand where SRG01 is coming from. After that relationship ended I reflected a lot on the importance of communication in a relationship. I never told him it was a problem. I felt quite foolish in the end.
CountAntonius
Member
Most any conflict I have had with the opposite sex have stemmed from text messages. It's just such a shitty form of communication since it conveys no emotions or tones. everything it taken out of context and easily misread. People are better off keeping texts as simple as possible or avoid it altogether.Devolution said:
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
I've been texting with this girl for a few weeks now (met her on campus, don't have any classes together) always inviting her to hook up. I give her dates and times I'm available, but she says she wants to but she's always busy "but she'll let me know" (which she never does). The thing is, whenever we do text, she is the one who initiates the conversation. SHE'S the one randomly texting ME "hey, whatsup 
".
Is she using me for attention or is she genuinely interested in me? I don't really compliment her and I try to keep our conversations brief, but I'm always polite and try to be myself.
It's not really a big deal to me one way or the other, but I'd appreciate any advice!
". Is she using me for attention or is she genuinely interested in me? I don't really compliment her and I try to keep our conversations brief, but I'm always polite and try to be myself.
It's not really a big deal to me one way or the other, but I'd appreciate any advice!
cooljeanius
Member
That isn't exactly why I think texts are shitty. My reason for hating texts is that people treat it like chatting online and expect an answer right away, when I might not have my phone on me or not feel like answering until later. I'd much rather treat it like email. Also, typing on my phone sucks, as all it has is a numpad. Plus texts cost money (at least for me). But yeah, my main point is that most communication is punctuated (i.e. conversations have a distinct beginning and end), and texts aren't really. Which is why I hate how Facebook has been trying to make its messaging more like texting this year.CountAntonius said:
I'm typing on my tablet so you'll have to excuse the typos.
yes, I know I'm overthinking things - I usually do if I cannot actively solve a problem. Inaction makes me go stir crazy... But yes, lissar, I did ask her why her week was bad, but she didn't divulge. I'm trying to find the balance between communicating and giving her space.
in reality, we do give each other supportive texts, have small text conversations. She even gave me her office number in case I was having a bad day at work. However, she said it was out of common courtesy and not anything special when I kind of said that giving me her daytime number was important.
I guess the main problem is that texts are too convenient... And impersonal.
yes, I know I'm overthinking things - I usually do if I cannot actively solve a problem. Inaction makes me go stir crazy... But yes, lissar, I did ask her why her week was bad, but she didn't divulge. I'm trying to find the balance between communicating and giving her space.
in reality, we do give each other supportive texts, have small text conversations. She even gave me her office number in case I was having a bad day at work. However, she said it was out of common courtesy and not anything special when I kind of said that giving me her daytime number was important.
I guess the main problem is that texts are too convenient... And impersonal.
BladeWorker
Member
Indeed. Using the "dial" feature on the same piece of technology to reach someone would take much less time and be far more productive.Devolution said:
Example:
Pardon my snark, but...Obvious solution alert: stop texting her and press "dial" instead.SRG01 said:
You're not going to strengthen your bond with her 160 characters at a time.
cooljeanius
Member
Yeah, I, too, have had girls who would let me text them but not call them. It's weird.SRG01 said:
I'm guilty of not liking to be called. It has to do with it being very hard for me to understand when things are said on the phone. Words just sound like jumbles. I can't say I prefer texting though, I mean it's doable... but face to face is so much better. Skype with cam if nothing else.
As far as asking her about her problems: really, you can only be there for her. Ask, but don't press. As long as you support her, she may eventually feel safe enough to tell you (but I'm sure you're already doing this.)
Unfortunately as far as how to communicate without it being face to face... I'm out of advice. All I know is that it can be very very hard, and I wish you luck with it.
As far as asking her about her problems: really, you can only be there for her. Ask, but don't press. As long as you support her, she may eventually feel safe enough to tell you (but I'm sure you're already doing this.)
Unfortunately as far as how to communicate without it being face to face... I'm out of advice. All I know is that it can be very very hard, and I wish you luck with it.
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