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[shanshan310]

Thanks guys. I didn't realise its only two weeks away. lol.

Sucks for your boyfriend because since this other guy is new and exciting, you're probably doing fewer new and exciting things with your boyfriend.

I think another problem is that we haven't really been doing anything new and exciting anyway. Neither of us have much money, and my city is kinda small. He's not much of a talker either - a lot of conversations I try to have with him end up falling flat. That's just how he is though. I do love him. I'm not sure of a way to keep the relationship interesting, especially without involving some kind of outside stimulus (I'm not sure if gaming together counts as bonding time).

 

[reptilescorpio]

I'm not sure of a way to keep the relationship interesting, especially without involving some kind of outside stimulus (I'm not sure if gaming together counts as bonding time).

Find things that stimulate either of you. Seeing him passionate about something will perk you up a bit and make the whole situation a lot of fun. Same going the opposite way. I am a much more fun person to be around for my gf if I have had a fantastic gaming session. Because I am having so much fun with Saints Row 3 tonight she has decided to come watch Glee/Raising Hope in the study with me on the gaming TV even though I wear headphones to avoid waking the little guy. Just the act of seeing each other in a particularly good mood is fun to see.

he's kind of like my best friend but better.

This is a great sign of a long lasting relationship.

 

[Boozeroony]

What do you girls think about dating a guy who suffers from chronic depressions? And by chronic I mean reoccurring periods of severe anxiety and stress.

 

[scar tissue]

What do you girls think about dating a guy who suffers from chronic depressions? And by chronic I mean reoccurring periods of severe anxiety and stress.

I'm not a girl but I can tell you, you better hide that stuff real good in the beginning.
As soon as she's really into you, she'll probably not care but early on that is a real mood killer.
That or try finding a girl who's also got some kind of psychological problem. Odds are she'll be more accepting of your depression.

 

[Boozeroony]

I'm not a girl but I can tell you, you better hide that stuff real good in the beginning.
As soon as she's really into you, she'll probably not care but early on that is a real mood killer.
That or try finding a girl who's also got some kind of psychological problem. Odds are she'll be more accepting of your depression.

My experience is that girls are happy you tell them after a while. I just refrain from dramatizing that shit and tell them how it is in the most clinical way.

 

[shanshan310]

Find things that stimulate either of you. Seeing him passionate about something will perk you up a bit and make the whole situation a lot of fun. Same going the opposite way. I am a much more fun person to be around for my gf if I have had a fantastic gaming session. Because I am having so much fun with Saints Row 3 tonight she has decided to come watch Glee/Raising Hope in the study with me on the gaming TV even though I wear headphones to avoid waking the little guy. Just the act of seeing each other in a particularly good mood is fun to see.

This is a great sign of a long lasting relationship.

That's a good idea actually. I've ended up liking a lot of things I had no interest in before simply because I'd get to hear him laugh.

What do you girls think about dating a guy who suffers from chronic depressions? And by chronic I mean reoccurring periods of severe anxiety and stress.

I'm not very good at dealing with emotional problems, and by that I mean I'm not sure how to comfort people. Because a lot of depressed people try to hide that part of themselves it doesn't usually surface until the relationship is one of complete trust. You want to help the person you love, but its kind of disheartening when you know that you can't stop them from being depressed. Still, you try anyway. I don't think it inhibits a relationship, but it can be straining on both people.
I've stated earlier that some girls go for the broody look. Its kind of attractive. The guy who doesn't let anyone in - you want to be the special girl that he does.

 

[Mully]

So I plan on giving my ex a call this weekend. I plan on making it brief and just ask where and when does she want to meet up to talk. I've written out what I want to say and I'm just revising my points as the days get closer.

Did you ladies ever get back together with your significant other? How did it happen?

 

[coldvein]

i was just about to type something bad but i decided not to.

 

[Boozeroony]

That's a good idea actually. I've ended up liking a lot of things I had no interest in before simply because I'd get to hear him laugh.


I'm not very good at dealing with emotional problems, and by that I mean I'm not sure how to comfort people. Because a lot of depressed people try to hide that part of themselves it doesn't usually surface until the relationship is one of complete trust. You want to help the person you love, but its kind of disheartening when you know that you can't stop them from being depressed. Still, you try anyway. I don't think it inhibits a relationship, but it can be straining on both people.
I've stated earlier that some girls go for the broody look. Its kind of attractive. The guy who doesn't let anyone in - you want to be the special girl that he does.

I live in extremes: I am a very optimistic and outgoing person. i like goofing around, making stupid/lame jokes with a wink. I have no problem entertaining girls. There is just this 'other' side. I fell like Jekyll/Hide sometimes. People never expect it, when I tell them. Timing is pretty hard, trying to make it as less awkward as possible.

 

[Idde]

I think another problem is that we haven't really been doing anything new and exciting anyway. Neither of us have much money, and my city is kinda small. He's not much of a talker either - a lot of conversations I try to have with him end up falling flat. That's just how he is though. I do love him. I'm not sure of a way to keep the relationship interesting, especially without involving some kind of outside stimulus (I'm not sure if gaming together counts as bonding time).

Sure it does. But there's lots of other stuff to do, some random thoughts: buy a beginners massage book and practice on each other. Find some recipes online and try to cook em (or visit the Ironchef topic here). Go to different stores and try to come up with some of the most ridiculous outfits. Take a dancing class together (doesn't have to be expensive). Try taking photo's of each other in beautiful places in your city, or surrounding area's. Read to each other from your, or his favorite book. Or try to make an arrangement that one week he has to come up with something to do that you like. Next week it's up to you.

When I was together with an ex of mine I tried to get her to do some of this stuff. Too bad she was a tad boring and didn't want to try new things. I hope your boyfriend is a bit more open-minded Oh, and she met a friend who made her feel 'sweaty' and she wás doing new things with him for a while. So beware j/k

That is, of course, if it's really a problem.

 

[BladeWorker]

Would it be straight just to start with a "hi"?

Yes.

I might suggest writing a more fulsome sentence than that, though - like "hey, I see you around campus but we never get a chance to chat. How are ya?"

My experience is that girls are happy you tell them after a while. I just refrain from dramatizing that shit and tell them how it is in the most clinical way.

I think you've got some decent instincts here. If the relationship gets to a point where you're speaking with regularity, I might suggest that you develop a plan with her so that she knows how to approach/avoid if you're having a Hyde day and just need to hide under a rock for awhile.

Until that point, while you don't need to "hide" your other side, I would go along with others in saying it's best to keep it out of your dating life. Too much drama too soon something something...

 

[gamergirly]

Thanks guys. I didn't realise its only two weeks away. lol.



I think another problem is that we haven't really been doing anything new and exciting anyway. Neither of us have much money, and my city is kinda small. He's not much of a talker either - a lot of conversations I try to have with him end up falling flat. That's just how he is though. I do love him. I'm not sure of a way to keep the relationship interesting, especially without involving some kind of outside stimulus (I'm not sure if gaming together counts as bonding time).

You gotta come up with new things to do or the relationship gets stale and u end up(not matter how much you resist) becoming interested in somebody else. Cook together, go for walks together, workout(not just sex). Hook up with some friends and watch old movies. That kind of stuff

 

[Devolution]

I think another problem is that we haven't really been doing anything new and exciting anyway. Neither of us have much money, and my city is kinda small. He's not much of a talker either - a lot of conversations I try to have with him end up falling flat. That's just how he is though. I do love him. I'm not sure of a way to keep the relationship interesting, especially without involving some kind of outside stimulus (I'm not sure if gaming together counts as bonding time).

Does he acknowledge it's getting stale? Is he willing to put in the work with you to counteract this by trying new stuff together? Loving someone is great but if they're not willing to keep up the passion or have priorities different from yours, you need to sit them down and talk it out.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Does he acknowledge it's getting stale? Is he willing to put in the work with you to counteract this by trying new stuff together? Loving someone is great but if they're not willing to keep up the passion or have priorities different from yours, you need to sit them down and talk it out.

Or... you could just do what my ex did and decide people in their twenties don't try and fix things they just break up...

Ugh. I'm just starting to meet girls again and be able to think "Hey this person is interesting" again. This is all very weird. I want a relationship, but I don't want to have to do all that work again to get one at the point where I was at.

 

[Devolution]

Or... you could just do what my ex did and decide people in their twenties don't try and fix things they just break up...

Ugh. I'm just starting to meet girls again and be able to think "Hey this person is interesting" again. This is all very weird. I want a relationship, but I don't want to have to do all that work again to get one at the point where I was at.

I don't think she's ready to just have the relationship come to an end but if it's getting stale she needs to talk to the bf and nip it in the bud. Especially with this "new interesting friend" she's got hanging around.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

I don't think she's ready to just have the relationship come to an end but if it's getting stale she needs to talk to the bf and nip it in the bud. Especially with this "new interesting friend" she's got hanging around.

Yeah I was being sarcastic more than anything... sorry I might still be bitter.

 

[Devolution]

Yeah I was being sarcastic more than anything... sorry I might still be bitter.

Or my radar is broken today, I'm feeling ill so I'm just missing shit left and right.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

(I'm not sure if gaming together counts as bonding time).

If you enjoy it together, it does. Up the banter. Interrupt the game to kiss.

Re: the new guy, his suddenly touchy behaviour might be because knowing you have a boyfriend takes the pressure off— he doesn't need to worry about making a wrong move if you're unavailable. Could simply be more comfortable around you. Does he have a girlfriend?

Meeting people that you'll crush on never stops. Just have to figure out how to cope with it. I tell my partner about all my crushes, it seems to keep me honest.

 

[cornontheCoD]

OK, so this girl invites me to her birthday, specifically mentioning that it was going to be a girls' thing, but she invited me anyway. So, I will be the only guy that is coming with her. Is she into me, or am I friendzoned hard?

 

[Devolution]

OK, so this girl invites me to her birthday, specifically mentioning that it was going to be a girls' thing, but she invited me anyway. So, I will be the only guy that is coming with her. Is she into me, or am I friendzoned hard?

No idea, but go and flirt with one of her pals and gauge her reaction. That should tell you.

 

[shanshan310]

Does he acknowledge it's getting stale? Is he willing to put in the work with you to counteract this by trying new stuff together? Loving someone is great but if they're not willing to keep up the passion or have priorities different from yours, you need to sit them down and talk it out.

I haven't spoken to him about it, but I will try some of the things Idde and Gamergirly suggested (thanks guys! I especially like the massage and cooking ideas ^^). If I can get it feeling fresh again there won't be a problem. I have a feeling a lot of it has to do with uni being hectic, but I do think we need to try new things anyway.

Re: the new guy, his suddenly touchy behaviour might be because knowing you have a boyfriend takes the pressure off— he doesn't need to worry about making a wrong move if you're unavailable. Could simply be more comfortable around you. Does he have a girlfriend?

Meeting people that you'll crush on never stops. Just have to figure out how to cope with it. I tell my partner about all my crushes, it seems to keep me honest.

He doesn't, and I have a feeling he doesn't really know how to deal with girls that well (he's implied he's never had a girlfriend a couple of times). I'm hoping your right about the touching. He does seem to do it with other girls as well, though not so much.

It just feels weird because in the four years I've been with my boyfriend, I really never noticed other guys. At all. Thus I'm not sure how to deal.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

It just feels weird because in the four years I've been with my boyfriend, I really never noticed other guys. At all. Thus I'm not sure how to deal.

You'll figure it out. Decide what the ideal outcome would be for you and try to keep that in mind.

 

[SRG01]

well, looks like I'm single now. hrm.

 

[Plywood]

well, looks like I'm single now. hrm.

Welcome.

 

[Devolution]

well, looks like I'm single now. hrm.

OH fuck what happened.

 

[Professor Beef]

well, looks like I'm single now. hrm.

My condolences, man.

 

[SRG01]

OH fuck what happened.

It was mutual. I wanted more communication, something more personal -- like a real relationship -- and she wanted something more casual. We were just in different points in our lives and just weren't a good fit for each other. (edit: She's five years younger than me) We're not bitter about it; it was a pretty amicable breakup.

I'm sorta-kinda upset over it, but mainly nostalgic about the memories we've had. It'll probably hit me later and I'll have to drink myself to a stupor but... knowing myself, I'll probably drown myself in work.

edit: Also, third person I've ever kissed in my entire life (although I've dated many more girls than that).

 

[Lissar]

well, looks like I'm single now. hrm.

I guess she didn't take it very well? Wow, now I feel bad :<

 

[SRG01]

I guess she didn't take it very well? Wow, now I feel bad :<

No no, it's fine. I already knew that there would be a very good chance that we would break up. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night Saturday-Sunday and thought almost immediately "I need to break up with her."

 

[Devolution]

It was mutual. I wanted more communication, something more personal -- like a real relationship -- and she wanted something more casual. We were just in different points in our lives and just weren't a good fit for each other. (edit: She's five years younger than me) We're not bitter about it; it was a pretty amicable breakup.

I'm sorta-kinda upset over it, but mainly nostalgic about the memories we've had. It'll probably hit me later and I'll have to drink myself to a stupor but... knowing myself, I'll probably drown myself in work.

edit: Also, third person I've ever kissed in my entire life (although I've dated many more girls than that).

Oh yeah if she didn't want anything serious it's best to get out now.

 

[SRG01]

Oh yeah if she didn't want anything serious it's best to get out now.

Yeah.

Also, three months in and still no passion/spark is a pretty telling sign. (edit: on both our parts)

 

[Lissar]

No no, it's fine. I already knew that there would be a very good chance that we would break up. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night Saturday-Sunday and thought almost immediately "I need to break up with her."

Well as long as you feel it's for the best. I know it can be so hard though. Even if you know things aren't really working with someone, you want to find a way to make it work.

edit: Also better that you talked about it and mutually agreed to end it rather than let it go on for years while you're wondering what is wrong.

 

[SRG01]

Well as long as you feel it's for the best. I know it can be so hard though. Even if you know things aren't really working with someone, you want to find a way to make it work.

Yeah, we are all optimists at heart, right?

I'm not going to look for a rebound, even though I'm tempted to look for one...

 

[Tetra-9]

So last weekend I fell asleep with a girl who has a boyfriend. I know shitty thing to do. This has happened before(a few months ago) but this time I laid things out more clearly that I want a relationship. She ended up kissing me first and aggressively through the night and even the next morning. Now today she acted like nothing ever happened,any idea what she may he thinking?

 

[shanshan310]

So last weekend I fell asleep with a girl who has a boyfriend. I know shitty thing to do. This has happened before(a few months ago) but this time I laid things out more clearly that I want a relationship. She ended up kissing me first and aggressively through the night and even the next morning. Now today she acted like nothing ever happened,any idea what she may he thinking?

Probably feeling very guilty. What did she say when you said you wanted a relationship?

Your post has now made me even more determined not to get carried away.

 

[SRG01]

Well, damn. I already miss her kisses.

I think I'm going to take a shower and go to bed Thanks for the support everyone.

 

[Tetra-9]

She was hesitant to commit to anything at first, probably not a good sign in such a poor situation anyways. But then she said I was who she wanted to be with. Also said that she couldnt take being in such an abusive (verbally) relationship anymore. Which sucks cause just as a friend its been hard to watch her be in.

 

[shanshan310]

SRG01, I'm sorry At least you seem to have come to terms that it was the right thing for both of you. I think that's the first step. Go play skyrim, that is guaranteed to take your mind off it for a while.

She was hesitant to commit to anything at first, probably not a good sign in such a poor situation anyways. But then she said I was who she wanted to be with. Also said that she couldnt take being in such an abusive (verbally) relationship anymore. Which sucks cause just as a friend its been hard to watch her be in.

She should break up with her boyfriend before starting something with you, regardless of whether he is abusive or not. Its not fair on anyone otherwise, especially not you. If she's acting like it never happened she may be second guessing her decision (which was bound to happen in this situation). But if she's in a bad relationship with this guy you are in a unique position to help her out of it. It seems like she's crying out for help, and perhaps she's turning to you because you seem to care about her more than her boyfriend. Just be aware that some emotional baggage will come with it (she probably will still carry feelings for this guy for a while). I hope it works out okay for you.

 

[Tetra-9]

Thanks for the help, lots makes sense. I guess I was thinking that she should be the one to initiate any involvement, but women have told me before that I just need to be more assertive. It's probably not easy for someone who gets torn down a lot like she is, to make strong decisions. So tomorrow should I just talk to her and ask her where this is going or any better ideas on how to go about this?

 

[Ezalc]

Hey Plywood are you offering advice too?

 

[tehrafe]

Hm, why the hell not...

There's this girl, she's been a friend of mine for a while, only recently we started properly talking, meeting up every week for drinks and stuff. She's been single for a couple of months, so am I.

I promised myself not to let things go to my head but she's been stuck in there for a couple of weeks. When I wake up she's the first thing I think about, when I go to sleep she's the last thing I think about. Now here's the tricky part...

I've walked her home when she was drunk, cheered her up when she was sad, told each other very personal things that nobody else knows. One minute she's holding my hand for a bit when we are talking the next minute she keeps saying that I'm such a good friend. It's like: interested -> friends zone -> interested -> friends zone. The fuck?

I'd love to tell her how I feel and hope that she might feel the same on the other hand if I do tell her and she's not feeling the same I might end up losing a good friend. Any advice?

 

[manipulate]

shanshan, your boyfriend sounds kinda boring. Sometimes the grass truly is greener

ladygaf: I've started dating this girl, I like her a lot, but apparently she broke up with her ex (only of 4 months though) like 3 weeks ago and keeps saying she really wants to take things slow. I was a bit suss at first but she insists I'm not a rebound. Does this sound reasonable? We talk a lot and she generally seems down to hang out so I'm unsure as to whether this is some kind of cunning female strategy or just genuinely how she feels

 

[BladeWorker]

shanshan, your boyfriend sounds kinda boring. Sometimes the grass truly is greener

ladygaf: I've started dating this girl, I like her a lot, but apparently she broke up with her ex (only of 4 months though) like 3 weeks ago and keeps saying she really wants to take things slow. I was a bit suss at first but she insists I'm not a rebound. Does this sound reasonable? We talk a lot and she generally seems down to hang out so I'm unsure as to whether this is some kind of cunning female strategy or just genuinely how she feels

Taking things slow usually means somebody buggered up in the past and they don't want to repeat what they think is a mistake. Sometimes they end up repeating it anyway, for better or worse.

If all of the "slow" talk revolves around her ex (whether by her raising it or you questioning it) then there is a hurdle you must surmount. Otherwise, it's just about trying to learn and get better at this dating thing we all love and hate.

 

[BladeWorker]

Thanks for the help, lots makes sense. I guess I was thinking that she should be the one to initiate any involvement, but women have told me before that I just need to be more assertive. It's probably not easy for someone who gets torn down a lot like she is, to make strong decisions. So tomorrow should I just talk to her and ask her where this is going or any better ideas on how to go about this?

Okay, you're in a tough spot. Don't want to abandon a lady in a seemingly abusive relationship. Don't want to be the d-bag other man with whom she's cheating.

Here's the thing: If she's going to be with you, she has to break off her relationship with him. Full stop. You can't have any involvement with her - beyond the platonic, if you feel you can handle it - at least until that happens, and likely for several weeks or months afterward.

Do what you will, but I would advise against trying to talk about your "relationship" - which may, ultimately, only be a fantasy escape for her - until she breaks things off with him for good.

 

[Jin34]

Don't want to be the d-bag other man with whom she's cheating.

Here's the thing: If she's going to be with you, she has to break off her relationship with him. Full stop. You can't have any involvement with her - beyond the platonic, if you feel you can handle it - at least until that happens, and likely for several weeks or months afterward.

Do what you will, but I would advise against trying to talk about your "relationship" - which may, ultimately, only be a fantasy escape for her - until she breaks things off with him for good.

Hey wait a minute why you gotta bust my balls calling me a douche, shit's complicated sometimes you know. A taken girl may be the one who approaches you, then she wants to take it more personal instead of just IM and then you both fall for each other hard you know.

Spoiler

Sort of jesting, sort of not.

 

[Prax]

Hm, why the hell not...

There's this girl, she's been a friend of mine for a while, only recently we started properly talking, meeting up every week for drinks and stuff. She's been single for a couple of months, so am I.

I promised myself not to let things go to my head but she's been stuck in there for a couple of weeks. When I wake up she's the first thing I think about, when I go to sleep she's the last thing I think about. Now here's the tricky part...

I've walked her home when she was drunk, cheered her up when she was sad, told each other very personal things that nobody else knows. One minute she's holding my hand for a bit when we are talking the next minute she keeps saying that I'm such a good friend. It's like: interested -> friends zone -> interested -> friends zone. The fuck?

I'd love to tell her how I feel and hope that she might feel the same on the other hand if I do tell her and she's not feeling the same I might end up losing a good friend. Any advice?

Just make your intentions and feelings clear.
I mean, if you're fine with just "friends" even after telling her that you're interested and she isn't, then continue on with your friendship. Don't let it embitter you (hopefully she takes it well too). If that's "too weird" for her to deal with, then there's nothing you can do.

Either way, I think it's better just to find where you stand. How great will this friendship be for you if you're always going to have these intimate feelings for her while she is "oblivious"? You'll probably feel used at some point by this. I think it's better just to have things in the open when it comes to romantic feelings (unless she has a boyfriend, then it's just kind of a jerk move, but you say she's single, so it's good!).

shanshan, your boyfriend sounds kinda boring. Sometimes the grass truly is greener

ladygaf: I've started dating this girl, I like her a lot, but apparently she broke up with her ex (only of 4 months though) like 3 weeks ago and keeps saying she really wants to take things slow. I was a bit suss at first but she insists I'm not a rebound. Does this sound reasonable? We talk a lot and she generally seems down to hang out so I'm unsure as to whether this is some kind of cunning female strategy or just genuinely how she feels

Sounds reasonable to me. Maybe she just doesn't want to make the same mistakes. Probably if she sees in you the same things as the other guy, she feels she'll have more of a chance to dodge a bullet if she doesn't have too much invested? (also a way of telling you not to get too invested either in case things dont' work out in the beginning).

And some girls just like things slow. Even if it is just some "cunning female strategy", is this something you have a problem with? How fast do you want it exactly? Just go with the flow and keep dating/hanging out if you enjoy her company. Hopefully you make her feel comfortable enough for her to tell you when she thinks things are going too fast.

She was hesitant to commit to anything at first, probably not a good sign in such a poor situation anyways. But then she said I was who she wanted to be with. Also said that she couldnt take being in such an abusive (verbally) relationship anymore. Which sucks cause just as a friend its been hard to watch her be in.

I think she needs to get the guts to get out of the abusive relationship first. It's one thing if she fears for her well-being in some way (like he actually controls her finances or will physically harm her or threatens to), but it's another thing if she's just.. I dunno.. wants to have the support of 2+ men (perhaps the other guy physically or financially or attention-wise, and you to boost her esteem).

I'd encourage her to break up with her boyfriend if he's as abusive as she says. Seriously.. why IS she STILL with him?

 

[tehrafe]

Just make your intentions and feelings clear.
I mean, if you're fine with just "friends" even after telling her that you're interested and she isn't, then continue on with your friendship. Don't let it embitter you (hopefully she takes it well too). If that's "too weird" for her to deal with, then there's nothing you can do.

Either way, I think it's better just to find where you stand. How great will this friendship be for you if you're always going to have these intimate feelings for her while she is "oblivious"? You'll probably feel used at some point by this. I think it's better just to have things in the open when it comes to romantic feelings (unless she has a boyfriend, then it's just kind of a jerk move, but you say she's single, so it's good!).

Yeah she's definitely single otherwise I wouldn't even go there. It's just that I came from a very intense relationship and I'm not very keen on getting my heart ripped out and stomped on anytime soon. I just need to convince myself that I have the balls to go up to her and tell her how I feel.

In my heart I know it's the right decision to tell her how I feel, I just want to avoid any awkward situations in case she says no. I'll try and meet up with her soon (difficult with our jobs at the moment) and Ill try to give an update if I'm not planning on getting wasted in case it's bad news.

 

[reptilescorpio]

Well, damn. I already miss her kisses.

I think I'm going to take a shower and go to bed Thanks for the support everyone.

Throw yourself in to a hobby full steam. Last breakup was when Saints Row 2 came out and I spent at least 100 hours in that world and thank fully didn't do anything stupid (like call up old rootbuddies or fall into an abusive relationship with alcohol again). By the time you come out of your hobby your emotions would have settled down and you can rationally make some positive steps towards your future.

 

[ChocolatePuddin]

Ok ladies I need some advice, let me break it down

I fell in love with this girl that I work with and we started to hook up, we used to tell each other we loved each other and we were really happy together.Things went really well for like 6 months, she would come spend weekends at my place and hang out with me and my friends but we were not dating yet.So anyways I decide that I want to date this girl even though dating work colleagues is not the smartest thing.

I decided to ask her out on a weekened get away we had planned with her friends, the get away was two weeks away.The weekend before the get away she went on holiday with her folks.I was like well enjoy have fun and all is well.Now she comes back for mholiday and had taken a whole bunch of pics that she wanted to check out on her laptop but she needed to borrow my card reader.

I gave her the card reader and she gave it back later that day,but she forgot the SD card in the reader. I decided to have a peak at how her trip was with her family and there were pics of her with her Ex boyfriend holding each other and playing in the pool, he had gone with her.

I confront her with the pics and she says that he went with and that she is still in love with him, so I said cool, fuck you, go back to your drug addicted ex boyfriend and have fun.

Then she comes to me the next day in tears and tells me she has made a mistake and that she loves me and that she doesn't want to go back to her ex and that she would do anything to go back in time and erase their weekend away, she also said they never slept with each other, I call bull shit on that.

Anyways I am a really nice guy so I listen to her and I obviously love her lots even though I don't trust her, and it leaves me in a strange place.Do I give her another chance, can she be trusted? she is always texting someone on her blackberry even at lunch so I,m convinced other shit is going down.

I do love her and she makes me happy but should I open that door again knowing that she could do it again or still is doing it behind my back?

 

[jaxword]

I do love her and she makes me happy but should I open that door again knowing that she could do it again or still is doing it behind my back?

I'm no woman, but I would never, ever trust anyone who cheated on me. If they did it once, what's going to prevent them from doing it again? You already don't trust her on some level, and that will simply poison any relationship from the group up.