LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

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TheHornedBeast said:
Hey LGBTQIA+ Gaf, I'm not much of a poster here (I've been mostly lurking the past few years) but I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice.

There's this cute guy in one of my college classes, and I really want to get to know him. He's kinda semi-jocky and really smart/quirky, and I really dig that. The problem is I don't know if he's into men or not. I've never been in a relationship (I'm 21), so I'm not used to this stuff, and I'm left really confused ;_;

I've been trying to show signs that I'm "available", and I think I've seen some kind of response from him, but I don't know if that's just my lust for him making things seem what they're not. I feel like there's hesitation on both sides. Hesitation from me because I don't know his sexuality, and from him because he hasn't shown any explicit indication of interest in me. Aside from staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, his "body language", and laughing at my jokes, there hasn't really been anything. I mean, to be honest, it might be that I haven't been as obvious with my interest as I think I'm being either. I haven't been forthcoming with my desire to hang out with him or get to know him, so maybe I'm giving mixed signals.

But how do I make it more obvious without pushing boundaries? How do I know if he's interested in me or not? Is the simplest way just asking him out for drinks and seeing his response? Or is it too early for that? Is there a window of opportunity that I have to make the first move before he gets bored or tired of waiting?

Only known the guy for two weeks, but we've already introduced ourselves to each other and are on acquaintance terms
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Ask him to Netflix and chill. Let us know the results.
 
What I usually do in this situations where there is some uncertainty about each other's sexuality, is to put on my high heels, my little pink bikini to accentuate my hairy chest and drape myself in a massive gay flag, kick the classroom door open while being carried by 6 scantly clad goo goo boys while singing and dancing Radar by Britney Spears (powered by my Pill™ by Dr. Dre™, of course).


It is slightly too subtle, but in most cases it sends the message across.
 
That's why LGBT events are helpful, it takes care of the ambiguity because you know everyone there is of compatible sexualities, I've yet to attend one tho.
 
Frodo said:
What I usually do in this situations where there is some uncertainty about each other's sexuality, is to put on my high heels, my little pink bikini to accentuate my hairy chest and drape myself in a massive gay flag, kick the classroom door open while being carried by 6 scantly clad goo goo boys while singing and dancing Radar by Britney Spears (powered by my Pill™ by Dr. Dre™, of course).


It is slightly too subtle, but in most cases it sends the message across.
Click to expand...
Way too subtle.
 
TheHornedBeast said:
Hey LGBTQIA+ Gaf, I'm not much of a poster here (I've been mostly lurking the past few years) but I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice.

There's this cute guy in one of my college classes, and I really want to get to know him. He's kinda semi-jocky and really smart/quirky, and I really dig that. The problem is I don't know if he's into men or not. I've never been in a relationship (I'm 21), so I'm not used to this stuff, and I'm left really confused ;_;

I've been trying to show signs that I'm "available", and I think I've seen some kind of response from him, but I don't know if that's just my lust for him making things seem what they're not. I feel like there's hesitation on both sides. Hesitation from me because I don't know his sexuality, and from him because he hasn't shown any explicit indication of interest in me. Aside from staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, his "body language", and laughing at my jokes, there hasn't really been anything. I mean, to be honest, it might be that I haven't been as obvious with my interest as I think I'm being either. I haven't been forthcoming with my desire to hang out with him or get to know him, so maybe I'm giving mixed signals.

But how do I make it more obvious without pushing boundaries? How do I know if he's interested in me or not? Is the simplest way just asking him out for drinks and seeing his response? Or is it too early for that? Is there a window of opportunity that I have to make the first move before he gets bored or tired of waiting?

Only known the guy for two weeks, but we've already introduced ourselves to each other and are on acquaintance terms
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Why not just get to know him more?
 
TheAbsolution said:
Why not just get to know him more?
Click to expand...
Yeah that's what I figured, but wasn't sure how to go about it. As like friends, or be obvious about my interest in him. I was going to ask him out for drinks so that we could talk and get to know each other more personally, but I don't know if that's too soon. He sits away from me in class, so its hard to talk to him when I see him
 
You could just be friends with him, then casually bring up what you did over the weekend or something ("yeah, I went to [gay bar]", etc), assuming that it comes up naturally. Then if he's interested he'll probably let you know at some point. That's how it has been for me at least, if you're trying to divine the other person's orientation or attitude from the ether you're just playing a long game of speculation, but I don't think most things start off with a bold statement of romantic/sexual interest either, that only works in some situations. Granted I'm more the type to be hit on, than to hit on other people. I like people that pursue with a degree of constancy so I don't have much doubt about how they feel about me, so I'll make it somewhat easy for them.
 
umop_3pisdn said:
You could just be friends with him, then casually bring up what you did over the weekend or something ("yeah, I went to [gay bar]", etc), assuming that it comes up naturally. Then if he's interested he'll probably let you know at some point. That's how it has been for me at least, if you're trying to divine the other person's orientation or attitude from the ether you're just playing a long game of speculation, but I don't think most things start off with a bold statement of romantic/sexual interest either, that only works in some situations. Granted I'm more the type to be hit on, than to hit on other people. I like people that pursue with a degree of constancy so I don't have much doubt about how they feel about me, so I'll make it somewhat easy for them.
Click to expand...
That makes sense, I'll see if I can find some way of bringing it up naturally. And you're right, this game of speculation hasn't been working out at all. It's making me restless. I think what I may do is ask him out with a group of friends, at least so I can guage interest better. Hopefully we'll both feel more comfortable at that point. Thanks for the input! :)
 
TheHornedBeast said:
Hey LGBTQIA+ Gaf, I'm not much of a poster here (I've been mostly lurking the past few years) but I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice.

There's this cute guy in one of my college classes, and I really want to get to know him. He's kinda semi-jocky and really smart/quirky, and I really dig that. The problem is I don't know if he's into men or not. I've never been in a relationship (I'm 21), so I'm not used to this stuff, and I'm left really confused ;_;

I've been trying to show signs that I'm "available", and I think I've seen some kind of response from him, but I don't know if that's just my lust for him making things seem what they're not. I feel like there's hesitation on both sides. Hesitation from me because I don't know his sexuality, and from him because he hasn't shown any explicit indication of interest in me. Aside from staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, his "body language", and laughing at my jokes, there hasn't really been anything. I mean, to be honest, it might be that I haven't been as obvious with my interest as I think I'm being either. I haven't been forthcoming with my desire to hang out with him or get to know him, so maybe I'm giving mixed signals.

But how do I make it more obvious without pushing boundaries? How do I know if he's interested in me or not? Is the simplest way just asking him out for drinks and seeing his response? Or is it too early for that? Is there a window of opportunity that I have to make the first move before he gets bored or tired of waiting?

Only known the guy for two weeks, but we've already introduced ourselves to each other and are on acquaintance terms
Click to expand...

This is so fucking cute. I miss college :'( Ask him to hangout with you! Go to the dining hall together, or invite him to an activity that your RA is throwing, that way you guys can hang at your place :)
 
Lights and Waves said:
This is so fucking cute. I miss college :'( Ask him to hangout with you! Go to the dining hall together, or invite him to an activity that your RA is throwing, that way you guys can hang at your place :)
Click to expand...
Definitely ^_^! I also might just try this "netflix and chill" thing, but I have no idea how it works or what it is. Have I been living under a rock?
 
Netflix is an American provider of on-demand Internet streaming media available to viewers in all of Australia, New Zealand, South America, Japan, North America and parts of Europe (Denmark, France, Germany, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, Luxembourg, Ireland and United Kingdom), and of flat rate DVD-by-mail in the United States, where mailed DVDs and Blu-ray are sent via Permit Reply Mail.
 
Sai-kun said:
Netflix is an American provider of on-demand Internet streaming media available to viewers in all of Australia, New Zealand, South America, Japan, North America and parts of Europe (Denmark, France, Germany, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, Luxembourg, Ireland and United Kingdom), and of flat rate DVD-by-mail in the United States, where mailed DVDs and Blu-ray are sent via Permit Reply Mail.
Click to expand...
Lol not Netflix, I know what that is. But "Netflix and chill", I keep hearing about it but don't know what it is
 
I just looked at my brothers wedding registry. I got them a pressure cooker. But looking at the lidt I realized this racquet is real. Anyone want to get married? We can split the loot and get an annulment.
 
Why do British gays act so stereotypical? It is really cringeworthy how they are portrayed on UK TV yet the general public are way more accepting and it's basically a non-issue. But anytime there is a gay person on tv they're all flamboyant and ridiculous.
 
B-Dex said:
Why do British gays act so stereotypical? It is really cringeworthy how they are portrayed on UK TV yet the general public are way more accepting and it's basically a non-issue. But anytime there is a gay person on tv they're all flamboyant and ridiculous.
Click to expand...

You've just described pretty much every gay character in a mainstream show ever regardless of country of origin.
 
pYtPVf
 
TheHornedBeast said:
Hey LGBTQIA+ Gaf, I'm not much of a poster here (I've been mostly lurking the past few years) but I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice.

There's this cute guy in one of my college classes, and I really want to get to know him. He's kinda semi-jocky and really smart/quirky, and I really dig that. The problem is I don't know if he's into men or not. I've never been in a relationship (I'm 21), so I'm not used to this stuff, and I'm left really confused ;_;

I've been trying to show signs that I'm "available", and I think I've seen some kind of response from him, but I don't know if that's just my lust for him making things seem what they're not. I feel like there's hesitation on both sides. Hesitation from me because I don't know his sexuality, and from him because he hasn't shown any explicit indication of interest in me. Aside from staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, his "body language", and laughing at my jokes, there hasn't really been anything. I mean, to be honest, it might be that I haven't been as obvious with my interest as I think I'm being either. I haven't been forthcoming with my desire to hang out with him or get to know him, so maybe I'm giving mixed signals.

But how do I make it more obvious without pushing boundaries? How do I know if he's interested in me or not? Is the simplest way just asking him out for drinks and seeing his response? Or is it too early for that? Is there a window of opportunity that I have to make the first move before he gets bored or tired of waiting?

Only known the guy for two weeks, but we've already introduced ourselves to each other and are on acquaintance terms
Click to expand...

I'm always really bad with this. There was a guy just like this that would always sit next to me in my Political Science class back in my uni days. He initially sat far away and out of the blue two weeks into class, started sitting next to me and would constantly stare. I wasn't out and hadn't experienced anything at all so needless to say, I was pretty desperate for any affection.

Anyway, I was so taken by him that I eventually mustered up the courage to pass him a note (I know, in college, right?) that gave him an easy way to talk to me without a) feeling like I was putting him on the spot and b) without outing and embarrassing myself either. So I wrote, "Have I seen you before? You look familiar and I noticed you staring."

To my surprise, he actually responded with "I don't think so, but you look familiar too." Stupid thing was afterward, we'd always end up leaving class almost side by side and we never actually continued conversation. Occasionally in class, he'd ask to see my score for my exams (I'd always score in the high 90s and him in the high 80s) but it wouldn't lead to anything. When we'd walk down the hallway, we'd always walk about 30-40 feet before he'd head down the stairs and I'd turn down another hallway.

A few weeks before the class final, we ended up literally shoulder to shoulder again but this time, he deliberately bumped into me. I was nervous as hell but figured I had one last shot and started chatting him up and got his email. His first email was asking me about the final exam preparation questions that prof had given us so, of course, bent over backwards answering every single one of them.

Never responded after that. Ignored me in class and worse, moved to a seat in the opposite end of the room. I swear, every Asian guy I saw after that was him and my heart would stop in panic. I'd check my email over and over but didn't receive anything from him after my last reply.

TL;DR: Be up front and don't play games. That's what I learned. You get it over with and if it doesn't work out, there are other always other guys. Life's too short for B.S.
 
3phemeral said:
I'm always really bad with this. There was a guy just like this that would always sit next to me in my Political Science class back in my uni days. He initially sat far away and out of the blue two weeks into class, started sitting next to me and would constantly stare. I wasn't out and hadn't experienced anything at all so needless to say, I was pretty desperate for any affection.

Anyway, I was so taken by him that I eventually mustered up the courage to pass him a note (I know, in college, right?) that gave him an easy way to talk to me without a) feeling like I was putting him on the spot and b) without outing and embarrassing myself either. So I wrote, "Have I seen you before? You look familiar and I noticed you staring."

To my surprise, he actually responded with "I don't think so, but you look familiar too." Stupid thing was afterward, we'd always end up leaving class almost side by side and we never actually continued conversation. Occasionally in class, he'd ask to see my score for my exams (I'd always score in the high 90s and him in the high 80s) but it wouldn't lead to anything. When we'd walk down the hallway, we'd always walk about 30-40 feet before he'd head down the stairs and I'd turn down another hallway.

A few weeks before the class final, we ended up literally shoulder to shoulder again but this time, he deliberately bumped into me. I was nervous as hell but figured I had one last shot and started chatting him up and got his email. His first email was asking me about the final exam preparation questions that prof had given us so, of course, bent over backwards answering every single one of them.

Never responded after that. Ignored me in class and worse, moved to a seat in the opposite end of the room. I swear, every Asian guy I saw after that was him and my heart would stop in panic. I'd check my email over and over but didn't receive anything from him after my last reply.

TL;DR: Be up front and don't play games. That's what I learned. You get it over with and if it doesn't work out, there are other always other guys. Life's too short for B.S.
Click to expand...

I have a story that's very similar to this one, though in my case, the person and I were much more chatty during our walks back (which once or twice turned into longer walks). However, it kind of ended the exact same way: sudden change in the dynamic and then that was it. To this day, I'm really not sure what happened.

TheHornedBeast, I think you've received some good advice, both about being upfront and ways of easing into it via the "get to know" route. If you think this person might be newly out, not out, or very inexperienced, then I'd suggest going with the slower method. If you think they're out and proud, then being direct seems like a good approach. I always appreciate honesty and being direct, but that can be intimidating if one isn't ready to handle that.

Razmos said:
pYtPVf
Click to expand...

I cackled when she started to run.
 
kirbyfan407 said:
I have a story that's very similar to this one, though in my case, the person and I were much more chatty during our walks back (which once or twice turned into longer walks). However, it kind of ended the exact same way: sudden change in the dynamic and then that was it. To this day, I'm really not sure what happened.
Click to expand...

I always tell myself that he used me for exam answers but that never explained why he even moved close to me because he never saw my scores prior to that. I think in actuality he was probably curious but didn't want to go through with it after I geeked out via email. Took me forever to get over that and made me super timid to ask anyone out again after that.

Oh, gay youth. I wouldn't ever want to relive that again.

Razmos said:
pYtPVf
Click to expand...

Slay, Mariah: Warrior Princess.
 
f4b507d028.png


Hair color might change this Friday tho. (Unless the hair color ends up shit and I shave my head which I wont post pics)
 
OK, interesting situation with the guy I'm seeing.

We've been on a couple of dates, and they both turned out great. Thing is, he is approaching the whole dating process too... logically, I guess? He said that he has only started dating recently, so he's not sure about how he is supposed to act and such, and he is not sure what he wants out of the relationship we have. Basically, he's awkward about the whole thing.

Side note: I find that aspect of him to be pretty cute lol.

I told him that he should just do what comes naturally and that there is no need to overthink what's going on between us. If he's not interested in pursuing things further, then I'd be OK with it.

I also told him that he has my support regardless. I really do like him, and even if the relationship doesn't work out I hope that he can overcome his uncertainty about dating in general.

For now, at least, we're just gonna take it slow.
 
3phemeral said:
I'm always really bad with this. There was a guy just like this that would always sit next to me in my Political Science class back in my uni days. He initially sat far away and out of the blue two weeks into class, started sitting next to me and would constantly stare. I wasn't out and hadn't experienced anything at all so needless to say, I was pretty desperate for any affection.

Anyway, I was so taken by him that I eventually mustered up the courage to pass him a note (I know, in college, right?) that gave him an easy way to talk to me without a) feeling like I was putting him on the spot and b) without outing and embarrassing myself either. So I wrote, "Have I seen you before? You look familiar and I noticed you staring."

To my surprise, he actually responded with "I don't think so, but you look familiar too." Stupid thing was afterward, we'd always end up leaving class almost side by side and we never actually continued conversation. Occasionally in class, he'd ask to see my score for my exams (I'd always score in the high 90s and him in the high 80s) but it wouldn't lead to anything. When we'd walk down the hallway, we'd always walk about 30-40 feet before he'd head down the stairs and I'd turn down another hallway.

A few weeks before the class final, we ended up literally shoulder to shoulder again but this time, he deliberately bumped into me. I was nervous as hell but figured I had one last shot and started chatting him up and got his email. His first email was asking me about the final exam preparation questions that prof had given us so, of course, bent over backwards answering every single one of them.

Never responded after that. Ignored me in class and worse, moved to a seat in the opposite end of the room. I swear, every Asian guy I saw after that was him and my heart would stop in panic. I'd check my email over and over but didn't receive anything from him after my last reply.

TL;DR: Be up front and don't play games. That's what I learned. You get it over with and if it doesn't work out, there are other always other guys. Life's too short for B.S.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your honesty, I really appreciate it. I'm really sorry about that experience, that guy's a prick. I'll keep this in mind as I'm trying to get to know cute boy from class
 
kirbyfan407 said:
TheHornedBeast, I think you've received some good advice, both about being upfront and ways of easing into it via the "get to know" route. If you think this person might be newly out, not out, or very inexperienced, then I'd suggest going with the slower method. If you think they're out and proud, then being direct seems like a good approach. I always appreciate honesty and being direct, but that can be intimidating if one isn't ready to handle that.
Click to expand...
Yes, absolutely. There's a lot for me to think about. Thanks for all the tips everyone!
 
B-Dex said:
No it's way worse. Like always Little Britain only gay in the village cringe bad.
Click to expand...

While I agree we have issues with representation on our TV shows; with reference to that specific character that is the whole joke. Like, he's this ridiculous over the top stereotype that isn't necessary. I think more than once they show him interacting with much more diverse types of gay who he refuses to admit exists due to being 'the only gay in the village.'

...that said, it isn't particularly funny.
 
VegiHam said:
While I agree we have issues with representation on our TV shows; with reference to that specific character that is the whole joke. Like, he's this ridiculous over the top stereotype that isn't necessary. I think more than once they show him interacting with much more diverse types of gay who he refuses to admit exists due to being 'the only gay in the village.'

...that said, it isn't particularly funny.
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Oh I know it is a joke on Little Britain. But from the other non comedy shows I've seen its been pretty cringe.

And Bayonetta. If that is box dye. I'll judge. Harsh. My ex is a hairstylist and I've learned to appreciate a proper colouring.
 
B-Dex said:
And Bayonetta. If that is box dye. I'll judge. Harsh. My ex is a hairstylist and I've learned to appreciate a proper colouring.
Click to expand...

It is boxed so Im not expecting the color to end up the best anyway. Im just too broke to actually pay a hairstylist to do it.
 
Your gender? Male
Your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Where Are You From? South Carolina
Where Do You Live? South Carolina
How Old Are You? 21
Favorite Type of Music? Rap, but I listen to pretty much everything
Profession or Career interest? I'm currently attending college for studio arts with a concentration in media arts and I spend my weekends working at a art gallery
Favorite video game(s)? I don't really play games as much as I used to anymore, but I adore Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Persona 3/4, Steambot Chronicles, Civilization V, Rock Band 3, and I play a lot of Forza too
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)? I really enjoy traveling, photography (it's my main focus of studies), listening to new albums everyday, going to concerts, and just hanging out with people!

I actually have a date with someone tomorrow (my first one with a guy) and I'm really excited for it (we're grabbing coffee and then we're going to a party that a mutual friend of ours is hosting), plus I'm just excited that it's not a "Netflix and chill" thing (cause I've fallen into that trap before)!
 
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