-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~
- Thread starter Kater
- Start date
- Status
I've been long distance for 3 months and it's depressing, I can't imagine 3 years.
That's love, being committed that long.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Man I don't even know what I'm going to school for tbh. Seems like the only things that are worth studying are Stem fields and I'm not interested at all in that. Honestly, I'm probably going to live paycheck to paycheck with 2 minimum wage jobs in the near future.
You'll find your calling. What are you interested in, literature right?
The way of love is a way of woe.
Dishonored had quite a nice look to it for example. Or Daedalic Entertainment's Deponia series.You'd think so, wouldn't you. But now I just associate nerd conversations with the kind of conversations I don't want to be involved in. Alas.
And I struggle to think of one good design 'steampunk' has ever produced, at least from an aesthetic perspective
They are really cute yeah.
Choose whatever you want to do and don't waste time on studying something for jobs you are not interested in.
Monocle
Member
Do whatever it takes to get paid for what you love doing. If you're not sure what that might be, start exploring a variety of subjects and fields.
CornBurrito
Member
Coming out was a mistake.I feel like I've lost some part of myself. I feel exposed. I should have ripped the bandaid off years ago, but I left it on and then it fused to my skin. Now ripping it off has created a wound and I can only pray that it doesn't become infected. "How many years has he known?" "How many years did he keep this secret?" "What else hasn't he told us?" These are the thoughts that might be running through their heads.
I'm being melodramatic I know, but this doesn't feel good.
I'm being melodramatic I know, but this doesn't feel good.
AlexMeloche
Member
If everyone's accepting you, everything will be fine, don't worry. I understand completely how you feel tho.
:hugs:
Monocle
Member
It's no use imagining what other people might be thinking. That exposed feeling fades with time. Literally nothing about you as a person has changed, and you can feel free to point that out to anyone who gives you attitude. If you're lucky, most of the people you know will grasp this fact right away. Others are going to need some time to adjust.
You don't need to explain yourself, or apologize for who you are, or justify how long you stayed closeted in a world that's still largely hostile to LGBT people. Try not to hold anyone's initial reaction against them, unless it's totally out of order. If they still haven't come around after a half a year or something, that's the time to cut contact or renegotiate the terms of your relationship and demand the respect you deserve. Their continued involvement in your life is your bargaining chip. If they can't act like decent human beings, they can bugger off.
You might want to direct some of the people closest to you to resources like PFLAG so you don't have to field endless questions about every last detail of your identity. If they've got a problem, it's theirs to work through. Don't panic, you've got this.
CornBurrito
Member
The major thing is that my sister is LGBT and has been out for 9+ years. So, my family would be right to wonder "why didn't he ever say anything". I had nothing to fear at all. I just could never get myself to do it because I felt... idk. I think I legitimately enjoyed having some part of myself hidden. If they ask why I never said anything, I can't explain it.
Monocle
Member
You can just say you didn't feel ready. Again, you don't owe anyone an explanation. This is a personal matter, as personal as it gets. It's not for anyone to question how or when you chose to bare this part of yourself. There's no shame in wanting to keep some aspects of yourself private. Your identity is your own, no matter how invested other people may be in their notions of who you are.
umop_3pisdn
Member
I will take your word for it. It's theoretically possible.
It isn't about your family or how they'd respond to you coming out, people who can't get over your 'lack of trust' don't really get coming out as an experience. Staying in the closet is comfortable and safe, that's why the metaphor exists. That said, I'm sure your family will probably wonder about that, it's human nature to think "why didn't he feel comfortable telling us", but the reasonable or sane reaction to have overall is that coming out isn't really about other people at all, and if they forget that there are perfectly nice or appropriate ways of reminding them.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Majid Jordan are so good.
joseranulfo
Member
At the very least try to imagine leaving things as they were for a little longer and imagine writing this post in the future with "my sister's been out for 12/15+ years..." So yeah the band aid ripping will hurt but if it had to ever came out, sooner is better.
good luck.
CornBurrito
Member
Thanks a bunch for the support guys. It does mean a lot.
Thought you were atheist.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Yeah, kind of. I really like screenwriting and would be my ideal ~~dream job~~ but I don't see it happening.
Yeah but I want money too
But honestly, I guess I have to chose one or the other. Can't have my cake and eat it too, is that how that saying goes? lol
Well, as of now I'm interested in writing. I do realize that things change though and that nothing is set in stone so who knows what I'll be into a year from now or something.
You can make money without going into STEM, but you're gonna have to make it up somewhere else, networking, internships, proactiveness... No one will hand you a job with a degree in Creative Writing or whatever, and even a lot of STEM fields are experiencing oversaturation.
If you go into Liberal Arts, you better have a good plan for what to do post-college, a plan you ideally put into action in the middle of college.
If you go into STEM you'll still need that plan, but you leave college with a stronger foundation for setting up a career.
If you go into Liberal Arts, you better have a good plan for what to do post-college, a plan you ideally put into action in the middle of college.
If you go into STEM you'll still need that plan, but you leave college with a stronger foundation for setting up a career.
I've discovered this gem: Young Americans Medley by Cher and David Bowie.
Amazing, simply amazing.
Obligatory "today's music sucks in comparison" comment.
Amazing, simply amazing.
Obligatory "today's music sucks in comparison" comment.
Aeriscloud
Banned
Coming up on 8 years in my LDR, this shit is NOT easy.
Thankfully we've just recently made plans to finally move in together around June of next year.
TheAbsolution
Member
Yeah, I want to hear more of this story.
Aeriscloud
Banned
I've told it before lol.
I met him when I was playing Final Fantasy XI in 2008. He was just finishing up his first year of college while living at home with his family in Tennessee, and I was living in Florida at the time. I decided to return to college in 2009. At first I was going to go where he was going to school at the time, but decided it was better If I returned home to Pennsylvania and back to Penn State where family was near if needed. He stayed with his family through his bachelor's degree, and then I tried to get him to come to Penn State for his masters, but his father has been in and out of cancer treatment so he wanted to be near his father. And on and on and on.
It certainly hasn't been for lack of trying or wanting to, life just happened. It's a very complicated mess that I'm ready to move past. Lets just hope I spent all of my 20's doing the right thing... because it has fucking sucked.
CornBurrito
Member
I am.
Yep. I can tell you now that Biology and the other basic sciences are a bit over saturated. That's what my degree is in.
Though I'm trying to pick up some CS skills and see where that takes me. Granted CS is also getting a bit over saturated but a lot of people who enroll in that major drop it or get out of the program and can't even do basic coding. So I'm hoping to have an edge there since I actually can understand what I'm doing.
And if all else fails I combine the two and jump ship to a Bioinformatics program.
Aeriscloud
Banned
Nope, I've offered travel fare for him to come here on many different occasions. He's cried about it, he fears coming out to his mother, but he doesn't want to lose his family. I can't exactly show up at his front door either. Maybe I've been very stupid to have waited, but if this falls through, I'm done, I'm getting too old to waste my time on something that clearly isn't going to happen.
Pretty stupid, yeah?
CornBurrito
Member
Adele's voice is a treasure. I didn't like it at first, but now I can't get enough of it. When she hits those hard notes..... fuuuuuuuuuuccccck
Monocle
Member
Couldn't hurt to pursue that. Writing is obviously a highly adaptable skill. You could write articles for websites while working on a screenplay on your own time, or something. If worse comes to worst and you have to change your career path, your writing skills will still be useful, if only to communicate effectively with your coworkers or clients.
Escape Goat
Member
This movie looked hot. Quite a few gay themed movies coming out this Friday. I guess Tuesday isn't good enough for them.
You can buy it this Friday. Sounds like any 'gay' movie ever made.
You can buy it this Friday. Sounds like any 'gay' movie ever made.
CornBurrito
Member
Dude on the left. <3
TheAbsolution
Member
New York is amazing for first time visitors. Tons of stuff to do by yourself.
Boston is also great.
Seattle is cool as is Chicago.
Washington DC if you're into learning about Us History. Boston is also good for this.
Atlanta (I live here
) is good if you're planning a trip with other stops. It depends on what you would like to do. There's many options.
When do you want to go?
New York is amazing for first time visitors. Tons of stuff to do by yourself.
Boston is also great.
Seattle is cool as is Chicago.
Washington DC if you're into learning about Us History. Boston is also good for this.
Atlanta (I live here
It depends on what you would like to do. There's many options.
When do you want to go?
Boston is horrible, trust me
holy fuck will watch cuz of the hairy daddy alone. Please show ass.
I still don't know, it could be on March or December. Even January, as those are the times I'm on school break
:O why?
*google images* *jaw drops* looks huge, I love big cities *__*
That's actually good for me, I'm melting here right now and I HATE it. Does it snow there?
TheAbsolution
Member
Yes, a lot.
Maybe you don't visit Atlanta your first visit to the US but maybe next time. We've got tons of fun things to do here.
- Status