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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

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A

Amalthea

Banned
kirbyfan407 said:
Wait...noooo. You can't ruin the image in my head of Switzerland being a perfect country. It seemed so nice when I visited Geneva two years ago. What part of Switzerland are you from?
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Yeah, it's a nice facade but behind it there are some pretty rotten mentalities going on.
 
V

Vazduh

Member
halfbeast said:
switzerland, with a dash of croatia.
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Yay, finally another
half-
Croatian in this thread!

G6tfMBn.gif
 
D

Dany

Banned
A friend on facebook sarcastically posts #lovewins attached to news articles of transgender persons being beaten, stabbed and murdered.

:(
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
Berordn said:
...I think there's a bit here that needs to be addressed.
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Such as? Some people are going to be below average in looks, some above, and most average.

TheAbsolution said:
I've been using OKCupid for a few months now and no luck thus far. :(
I don't think Im a 3/10 though. Maybe a 5 or a 6. Damn you low self esteem. :(
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Hmmc doesn't sound good for me. And I'm in Ohio which I imagine already has slim pickings. I'll probably still try to set up a profile.
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
Dany said:
Placing your self-perception at a higher regard than you believe it is.
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There's nothing wrong with admitting you fall below average in terms of appearance. This isn't a dick size thread where every dude is "totally average or above at least." Am I also supposed to lie about my height and pretend it isn't below average? I'm fine with my height for what it is worth. And I've accepted that I'm below average in appearance.Lying to yourself isn't the same as self confidence. I think the better strategy is to not lie, accept the truth, and then still try anyway.
 
H

halfbeast

Banned
CornBurrito said:
There's nothing wrong with admitting you fall below average in terms of appearance. This isn't a dick size thread where every dude is "totally average or above at least." Am I also supposed to lie about my height and pretend it isn't below average? I'm fine with my height for what it is worth. And I've accepted that I'm below average in appearance.Lying to yourself isn't the same as self confidence. I think the better strategy is to not lie, accept the truth, and then still try anyway.
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this should be your profile text. :)
 
B

Berordn

Member
CornBurrito said:
There's nothing wrong with admitting you fall below average in terms of appearance. This isn't a dick size thread where every dude is "totally average or above at least." Am I also supposed to lie about my height and pretend it isn't below average? I'm fine with my height for what it is worth. And I've accepted that I'm below average in appearance.Lying to yourself isn't the same as self confidence. I think the better strategy is to not lie, accept the truth, and then still try anyway.
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There's no sense in lying to yourself that you're drop dead gorgeous and that the world should worship you, no. But attractiveness is a much more flexible scale than linear numeric. I'm no AC model or anything insane but before I met my boyfriend I was still getting compliments and meeting guys and I only thought myself below average. I'm not going to say everyone is beautiful (since that seems to be ingrained into society and unrealistic standards, etc), but being defeatist and claiming to be wading in the shallows isn't good either.

But that's all I got. I met my current boyfriend at a bar, that environment seems easier to handle when you can get over the crippling fear of going into one of them as a total stranger.
 
H

halfbeast

Banned
CornBurrito said:
Lol. I'm (thankfully) not on the lower end of the spectrum in terms of intelligence. But I do truly disagree with the "everyone is beautiful" circlejerk.
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eh. I know it's the same bullshit saccharine crap like "you have a heart of gold" - unless you're stockpile thomas - which is just code for "don't be mad at me, but your face makes me vomit". but there isn't a scientific scale for looks. I mean, beards are in and so is the nerdy look (glasses), back in the 90s wearing glasses was on the same level as ugly teeth.

and since fetish has become a character accessory these days (instead of a compulsive obsession), there are people looking for any kind of stuff.
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
Berordn said:
There's no sense in lying to yourself that you're drop dead gorgeous and that the world should worship you, no. But attractiveness is a much more flexible scale than linear numeric. I'm no AC model or anything insane but before I met my boyfriend I was still getting compliments and meeting guys and I only thought myself below average. I'm not going to say everyone is beautiful (since that seems to be ingrained into society and unrealistic standards, etc), but being defeatist and claiming to be wading in the shallows isn't good either.

But that's all I got. I met my current boyfriend at a bar, that environment seems easier to handle when you can get over the crippling fear of going into one of them as a total stranger.
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Ok you received compliments. I never have. People in my school (including close friends) also noted that I was one of the more unattractive. Not maliciously either. And admitting that you aren't good looking isn't defeatist. Letting that fact get in the way of living a fulfilling life would be.

halfbeast said:
eh. I know it's the same bullshit saccharine crap like "you have a heart of gold" - unless you're stockpile thomas - which is just code for "don't be mad at me, but your face makes me vomit". but there isn't a scientific scale for looks. I mean, beards are in and so is the nerdy look (glasses), back in the 90s wearing glasses was on the same level as ugly teeth.
Click to expand...

Funny because beards and glasses can be changed. But having a large nose with very asymmetric nostril sizes, an asymmetric mouth, and asymmetric eyes are not changeable (excepting surgery) and also aren't things that go in and out of style.

Look, all I wanted to know was if anyone ugly in this thread had success with online dating. I didn't want a pep talk and someone to posit that I'm a sitcom nerd character who is just one makeover away from being 9/10 drop dead hot.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
CornBurrito said:
There's nothing wrong with admitting you fall below average in terms of appearance. This isn't a dick size thread where every dude is "totally average or above at least." Am I also supposed to lie about my height and pretend it isn't below average? I'm fine with my height for what it is worth. And I've accepted that I'm below average in appearance.Lying to yourself isn't the same as self confidence. I think the better strategy is to not lie, accept the truth, and then still try anyway.
Click to expand...

To be honest, I can't disagree with this belief and approach. However, I do want to say:

1) You're likely measuring yourself against a cultural ideal (or ideals) that is (are) reinforced through media. The lucky few that match that may feel more assured that many people will find them attractive (see Hollywood). However, I think most people have their own personal measures of attractiveness and qualities they like, which gives the rest of the world a chance. For example, there's this gay couple I know where I think one of the guys is one of the most attractive people I've ever met (I actually can't stop staring at him when I see him), while his husband is far from it in my eyes. However, they seem to be happily together, so obviously they're both doing things for each other.

2) For me personally, attractiveness changes so much based on the personality. People who have been average or below average in my eyes (not matching any of my types) have grown to be really attractive (painfully so) if I click with them on a personal level. This partially explains the brief, dysfunctional heteroromantic relationship I had (we're still friends). The same has also been true of people who I find very, very attractive but then later find absolutely repulsive once I learn a bit more about their character.

I can sympathize with you in feeling that surface-level visual interactions are rarely going to go in my favor. Anyone have any suggestions for putting oneself out there in a way that gives more priority to personality-matching and conversation? My most recent, most successful encounter was based on a mutual friend thinking we'd be a good match and lots of correspondence, but I don't think I could always rely on the slow pace of matchmakers and abundant early communication.

Bladenic said:
Um, okay i see you hottie
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2454890-6331320639-13933.gif
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
kirbyfan407 said:
To be honest, I can't disagree with this belief and approach. However, I do want to say:

1) You're likely measuring yourself against a cultural ideal (or ideals) that is (are) reinforced through media. The lucky few that match that may feel more assured that many people will find them attractive (see Hollywood). However, I think most people have their own personal measures of attractiveness and qualities they like, which gives the rest of the world a chance. For example, there's this gay couple I know where I think one of the guys is one of the most attractive people I've ever met (I actually can't stop staring at him when I see him), while his husband is far from it in my eyes. However, they seem to be happily together, so obviously they're both doing things for each other.
Click to expand...

1. No I'm comparing myself to friends, coworkers, and family. Some of whom are average, and some pretty decent looking. And a few "meh". I'm undoubtedly among the "meh". I'd say 3/10 or perhaps a 3.5/10. I'm using an actual 10/10 scale mind you, not a 6/10 scale like gaming journalists.

2 is just a non-sequitur. Sorry. I'm well aware people who aren't attractive can find mates, and that physical attraction matters less over time. People do grow accustomed to faces and objects they are constantly exposed to. That's a well known psychological phenomenon. That's also irrelevant in online dating where the initial thing people see if your profile picture. Getting someone through the door requires at least a decent profile picture. Almost nobody is going to hit up someone without a profile picture just based on their profile text for example.
 
T

Ty4on

Member
CornBurrito said:
1. No I'm comparing myself to friends, coworkers, and family. Some of whom are average, and some pretty decent looking. And a few "meh". I'm undoubtedly among the "meh". I'd say 3/10 or perhaps a 3.5/10. I'm using an actual 10/10 scale mind you, not a 6/10 scale like gaming journalists.
Click to expand...

You see them from a different perspective though. I have one candid photograph of myself where I look totally different from what I'm used to.
This is going in circles though. We need proof, and not in a single photograph where angles mean too much :p

Edit: I guess I also second Berordn's opinion of meeting people offline.
 
H

halfbeast

Banned
CornBurrito said:
Funny because beards and glasses can be changed. But having a large nose with very asymmetric nostril sizes, an asymmetric mouth, and asymmetric eyes are not changeable (excepting surgery) and also aren't things that go in and out of style.
Click to expand...

I didn't mean there'll be a time where any kind of "flaw" is going to be en vogue. I'm just saying that there are more tolerant folks now than there were before. the "porn actor looks only, pls" people will always be around.

just saying don't let your looks define if and who you can date.

CornBurrito said:
Getting someone through the door requires at least a decent profile picture. Almost nobody is going to hit up someone without a profile picture just based on their profile text for example.
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this is true. so, you only show yourself from your chocolate side. face asymmetrical? then take one from the side, Alrus style! :D
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
CornBurrito said:
1. No I'm comparing myself to friends, coworkers, and family. Some of whom are average, and some pretty decent looking. And a few "meh". I'm undoubtedly among the "meh". I'd say 3/10 or perhaps a 3.5/10.

2 is just a non-sequitur. Sorry. I'm well aware people who aren't attractive can find mates, and that physical attraction matters less over time. People do grow accustomed to faces and objects they are constantly exposed to. That's a well known psychological phenomenon. That's also irrelevant in online dating where the initial thing people see if your profile picture. Getting someone through the door requires at least a decent profile picture. Almost nobody is going to hit up someone without a profile picture just based on their profile text for example.
Click to expand...

I see. Well, I think my points still have validity despite your response, but I understand now that what I wrote is not what you are looking for and is perhaps representative of arguments that you are tired of hearing. I unfortunately don't have much knowledge or data about different means of dating and success rates, so I apologize that I can't give you any helpful suggestions. I wish you luck, though!
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
Ty4on said:
You see them from a different perspective though. I have one candid photograph of myself where I look totally different from what I'm used to.
This is going in circles though. We need proof, and not in a single photograph where angles mean too much :p

Edit: I guess I also second Berordn's opinion of meeting people offline.
Click to expand...

You won't be getting proof since I'm not fishing for compliments, nor am I going to take multiple pictures of myself for a thread and put them on GAF or imgur.

And I'm not adverse to meeting people offline, but that seems a bit hard to do in Ohio. I don't think I'd meet any personality match at a gay bar. Nor do I plan on randomly interacting with strangers at the grocery store or elsewhere in the hopes that one will be gay and receptive to an advance.

halfbeast said:
this is true. so, you only show yourself from your chocolate side. face asymmetrical? then take one from the side, Alrus style! :D
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People usually check for more than one picture on those sites. And there's going to be a red flag if all your pictures are taken from the side.
 
H

halfbeast

Banned
CornBurrito said:
People usually check for more than one picture on those sites. And there's going to be a red flag if all your pictures are taken from the side.
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yeah, but then there's the pic from the front holding up a bottle (covering some of your face but not too obvious). one "beauty shot" where one half is covered in a shadow (preferably black and white), one with sunglasses in front of some building or other eye catcher (preferably during winter wearing a big fat parka).

I've seen them all. :)
 
K

Kevyt

Member
CornBurrito said:
You won't be getting proof since I'm not fishing for compliments, nor am I going to take multiple pictures of myself for a thread and put them on GAF or imgur.

And I'm not adverse to meeting people offline, but that seems a bit hard to do in Ohio. I don't think I'd meet any personality match at a gay bar. Nor do I plan on randomly interacting with strangers at the grocery store or elsewhere in the hopes that one will be gay and receptive to an advance.



People usually check for more than one picture on those sites. And there's going to be a red flag if all your pictures are taken from the side.
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Date someone from lettersGaf?
 
DOWN

DOWN

Banned
A woman I was ringing up told me I have a good voice and "should be on the radio because it's very masculine" which ironically made me turn red and stop talking.
 
E

Escape Goat

Member
DOWN said:
A woman I was ringing up told me I have a good voice and "should be on the radio because it's very masculine" which ironically made me turn red and stop talking.
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Can you make a woman orgasm using only the sound of your voice?

/Howard Stern Private Parts
 
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