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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

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C

Camillelang

Neo Member
Y'all ever been catfished?

I just watched the documentary and now Im watching the MTV show since I see funny screenshots of it all the time

(Also whats the consensus is that documentary real or fake?)
 
F

fernoca

Member
Camillelang said:
Y'all ever been catfished?

I just watched the documentary and now Im watching the MTV show since I see funny screenshots of it all the time

(Also whats the consensus is that documentary real or fake?)
Click to expand...
I've been.
What sucked even more is that, even though I'm ugly as sin, I always provide real pictures. Yet, the 5 or so times this guys used fake pictures and I still didn't cared as long as the person per se was the same, then they stopped talking to me even with argument that because of my looks, I shouldn't ask for more.

The show is fun, but like similar ones I tend to watch them with the mentality that some are acted, others just fake. A few here and there could be real.

Like the one with the girl that catfished, her catfish, then was disappointed at him lying , even though she was lying too. Guy died some time later and it made the news too.
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
fernoca said:
I've been.
What sucked even more is that, even though I'm ugly as sin, I always provide real pictures. Yet, the 5 or so times this guys used fake pictures and I still didn't cared as long as the person per se was the same, then they stopped talking to me even with argument that because of my looks, I shouldn't ask for more.

The show is fun, but like similar ones I tend to watch them with the mentality tat some are acted, others just fake. A few here and there could be real.

Like the one with the girl that catfished, her catfish, then was disappointed at him lying , even though she was lying too. Guy died some time later and it made the news too.
Click to expand...

I love shitty reality TV so I love it! I've only seen one episode and it felt fake how in tune they were with their reasons for doing it they were like Yes I was bullied so I was so angry but wait no I am actually bi so maybe it is cause I am attracted to this girl BUT WAIT now I have started a charity and I am a saint. I'm like ok just let them fight.

I'm sorry you have been catfished! I don't add strangers on facebook I guess so that might be why...I also don't date so thats probably the big one haha
 
S

Spiritreaver

Member
fernoca said:
I've been.
What sucked even more is that, even though I'm ugly as sin, I always provide real pictures. Yet, the 5 or so times this guys used fake pictures and I still didn't cared as long as the person per se was the same, then they stopped talking to me even with argument that because of my looks, I shouldn't ask for more.
Click to expand...
I completely understand this. I was catfished when I was younger and extremely overweight. It was the same guy using numerous personas, and I knew it, but still fell for him despite all the bullshit. For as you said, the person was the same. That and I didn't think I could ever do any better cause of how I looked.

He even went as far to fake his own death just to see my reaction. It was awful.

It really fucked up my self-esteem, probably moreso than the kids that treated me like shit growing up.
 
D

Dany

Banned
Spiritreaver said:
I completely understand this. I was catfished when I was younger and extremely overweight. It was the same guy using numerous personas, and I knew it, but still fell for him despite all the bullshit. For as you said, the person was the same. That and I didn't think I could ever do any better cause of how I looked.

He even went as far to fake his own death just to see my reaction. It was awful.

It really fucked up my self-esteem, probably moreso than the kids that treated me like shit growing up.
Click to expand...
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry :(
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
Kater said:
Not doing any form of online dating reduces the chances of getting catfished by quite a bit, yes. 😄
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I think because I assumed I was hetero for so long I just talked to guys I knew in person or that I met somewhere with other friends. Now that I am asexual I feel like online dating is the only option cause its like MEN LOVE SEX TOO BAD YOU FUCK.

I just want to get friendship married and cuddle and hold hands and have sex like once a year if i'm feeling generous.
 
B

Bladenic

Member
BlueBadger said:
Yeah it's definitely been/going to be a good year for JRPGs and visual novels, which are my two favourite genres hands down.

Beat Zestiria, moving on to Xenoblade soon.. Playing Code Realize and Norn9 on my Vita.

Life.
Click to expand...

I think we talked about this but you've played the DR series right sis? I played both back to back and they were probably my favorite games this year and my greatest discovery. SO excited for the new anime and game, still have to play Ultimate Despair Gals too.

Also I highly recommend the Legend of Heroes series sis
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
Sai-kun said:
Teach me bae
Click to expand...

It took me a little while to figure out, it's confusing because pratyahara (or in Buddhism, restraining the five hindrances) and dharana (or in Buddhism, mindfulness/concentration) are often presented as the same process... and they kind of are, but they're also distinct. I find I can induce a degree of pratyahara/sense withdrawal (without much concentration at all) just by 'relaxing' the part of my mind that perceives sense impressions. It's a little bit like when you become preoccupied with some thought that you have, and consequently you forget where you actually are in the world, almost like the world seems to cease to exist. It's basically like a kind of dissociation, but done deliberately/at will. I think you have to develop some familiarity with it first (by some more indirect means) before you can induce it in a more direct way.

For example, if you're meditating on anything, usually one of the first signs of your mind calming down is that your awareness becomes internalized and you're no longer so aware of where your body is in space, and that's pratyahara. It happens because calmly paying attention to some perception causes your mind to gradually withdraw within itself. I guess you can't pay attention to something, and be paying attention to all of the information coming from your senses at the same time, so it kind of makes sense. Both can be considered kinds of attention, but pratyahara is the 'negative' aspect (it attenuates or reduces distractions), while what we normally think of attention is the 'positive' aspect (actively attending to something). Falling asleep is a kind of pratyahara, too, because your senses become internalized and you're no longer aware of your surroundings (it's just a non-deliberate kind). Sensory deprivation tanks would be the same, too. Or what the kids in the lucid dreaming community call wake induced lucid dreams (WILDs), it's basically 'relaxing' your mind, the result is that you go into a kind of mental quarantine, you're not really perceiving anything outside of yourself so your mind can really let go and just focus on whatever it wants to, it's almost like working in a lab (which is a sealed, controlled environment). I think knowing how to do it just comes from working with meditation or equivalent practices until you can recognize some of the different processes that are going on, and consequently leverage them.
 
K

Kater

Banned
Spiritreaver said:
I completely understand this. I was catfished when I was younger and extremely overweight. It was the same guy using numerous personas, and I knew it, but still fell for him despite all the bullshit. For as you said, the person was the same. That and I didn't think I could ever do any better cause of how I looked.

He even went as far to fake his own death just to see my reaction. It was awful.

It really fucked up my self-esteem, probably moreso than the kids that treated me like shit growing up.
Click to expand...

That's just evil. :(

Camillelang said:
I think because I assumed I was hetero for so long I just talked to guys I knew in person or that I met somewhere with other friends. Now that I am asexual I feel like online dating is the only option cause its like MEN LOVE SEX TOO BAD YOU FUCK.

I just want to get friendship married and cuddle and hold hands and have sex like once a year if i'm feeling generous.
Click to expand...

I bet it's hard, especially if you are upfront with your asexuality. Sex is a requirement for most.
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
Kater said:
I bet it's hard, especially if you are upfront with your asexuality. Sex is a requirement for most.
Click to expand...

My mom thinks that I need to just grin and bear it and have sex cause I am overall apathetic and not repulsed by sex. It feels like going grocery shopping its just a chore. So I am worried for my future of getting married and I have told Down to get me a promise ring and I will be his 'wife' haha.

I try to be upfront with it because I don't want people expecting anything from me in that way any more. I'm sure my mom would say I am scaring boys away but I need to find someone who would be ok putting sex away to love me emotionally.
 
K

Kater

Banned
That's odd that she thinks that. And very disappointing that she would give her girl advice like that.

I can't with bad advice from parents urgh. Too much of that out there in the world. 😟
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
My mom is a wonderful friend but I think asexuality is kind of an odd concept. I thought it was an odd concept at first and identified as straight until very recently. She understands what it is but I think she believes that my anxiety medicine kills my sex drive or that being raped did it so I know she would drop lots of money to let me see a sex therapist.

At least she has one heterosexual daughter
 
K

Kater

Banned
Maybe she needs more time to learn and fully accept that part of you. Hope it will work itself out over time for you and your mum and that you come to a real understanding.
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
I am still coming to terms with wither I should suck it up and pretend to be hetero and just count sex as another chore of being an adult but Down and my Sister both agree I can do it and find a husband who is ace. Hopefully as asexuals become a more known thing then some handsome guys will realize they are ace too. <3 The dream!

Also I forgot to tell you but I love your icon! Undertale is defeating me and I still have not finished my first play through (peaceful run)
 
Monocle

Monocle

Member
Camillelang said:
I am still coming to terms with wither I should suck it up and pretend to be hetero and just count sex as another chore of being an adult but Down and my Sister both agree I can do it and find a husband who is ace. Hopefully as asexuals become a more known thing then some handsome guys will realize they are ace too. <3 The dream!

Also I forgot to tell you but I love your icon! Undertale is defeating me and I still have not finished my first play through (peaceful run)
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No, that's nonsense. Thanks to the internet it's easier than ever before to find people who are compatible with you. I think it's crazy to pretend to be someone you're not and make yourself miserable just to fit other people's expectations.

Please ignore anyone who tells you not to be true to yourself. They don't have your best interests in mind if they're not encouraging you to pursue a fulfilling life on your own terms. Surround yourself with supportive people instead. Don't compromise on something as fundamental as your personal romantic needs. If you do, you could easily find yourself trapped in a committed relationship that keeps you from having what you really want.
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
I always feel sketch using asexuality under the LGBT umbrella but I feel super great that it is expanded to asexuals too.

And yeah I worry about resenting a husband or boyfriend I have for wanting to have sex with me.

So thanks y'all <3

It's been on my mind more recently when someone got a boyfriend and it made me so jealous and sad like I am going to live alone forever. I know I have such amazing friends but I guess I do want to get married and stuff and have the companionship part of a successful marriage without the lust aspect of it.

If you know any asexuals point them my way so we can chat! I should make an asexual dating website and become rich and then marry my platinum no limit credit card
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
Bladenic said:
I think we talked about this but you've played the DR series right sis? I played both back to back and they were probably my favorite games this year and my greatest discovery. SO excited for the new anime and game, still have to play Ultimate Despair Gals too.

Also I highly recommend the Legend of Heroes series sis
Click to expand...

Yep I've played the entire DR series so far :) it is one of my absolute favourites. I beat Ultra Despair Girls a few months ago, and it was AMAZING. definitely, definitely play it when you can. I feel like its plot will tie in to DR3 as well, from the trailers I've seen.

Thanks sis :) I definitely have Legend of Heroes on my list. i remember Hours Left telling me about one of the earlier games in that series and highly recommending it, so i'm definitely going to try them out at some point in the new year!
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
RatskyWatsky said:
i melted a bunch of chocolate chips and peanut butter chips together and now im eating it with a spoon

am i going to die
Click to expand...


VAWlQ0S.gif


i've totally done that
 
N

Nohar

Member
Spiritreaver said:
I completely understand this. I was catfished when I was younger and extremely overweight. It was the same guy using numerous personas, and I knew it, but still fell for him despite all the bullshit. For as you said, the person was the same. That and I didn't think I could ever do any better cause of how I looked.

He even went as far to fake his own death just to see my reaction. It was awful.

It really fucked up my self-esteem, probably moreso than the kids that treated me like shit growing up.
Click to expand...

Holy shit. The guy who did this to you is a grade-A ***hole. I've met someone who faked his death online too, and it can do a number on you.
 
R

Razmos

Member
Welcome Camillelang! Looks like you've fit in nicely already :D

In other news, the date was amazing.

He's super sweet, really fun to talk to, he has the exact same sense of humour and he loves to tease me and make me smile, he's also super cuddly, a great kisser.. the list goes on, I really like him.

There is only one "problem", and it's a bit complicated. He recently got diagnosed as HIV positive, and he told me that as soon as I asked him out on a date. I thought about it for a whole 5 seconds or so before replying back that it doesn't affect the fact that I want to go on a date. Sex isn't even that big of a deal to me and I'm usually very safe anyway. It's scary, but he seemed worth it. and after the date last night I know he definitely is worth it.

He said that he wasn't sure if he is in the right frame of mind for a boyfriend right now since he was diagnosed really recently and this was his first real date since, and I totally understand that.

But there was a lot of confused mixed signals going on. We both agreed that we were just going to see how the date went with no real expectations, it definitely went extremely well and we were talking about going on dates again in the future, but when we were about to leave it got super awkward with me saying "So I'll see you again... at.. urm... eventually" and him also not really being sure.

We'll probably see each other again at the social in January, but I don't want to get too used to the idea of us being a thing only for us to see each other again and it be on just a friendly basis.

I imagine a lot of what I'm feeling is just normal after-date jitters, I'm not really used to going on dates haha
 
A

Aeriscloud

Banned
Spiritreaver said:
I completely understand this. I was catfished when I was younger and extremely overweight. It was the same guy using numerous personas, and I knew it, but still fell for him despite all the bullshit. For as you said, the person was the same. That and I didn't think I could ever do any better cause of how I looked.

He even went as far to fake his own death just to see my reaction. It was awful.

It really fucked up my self-esteem, probably moreso than the kids that treated me like shit growing up.
Click to expand...

That's really horrible, I'm sorry. :/
 
C

Camillelang

Neo Member
Razmos said:
There is only one "problem", and it's a bit complicated. He recently got diagnosed as HIV positive, and he told me that as soon as I asked him out on a date.
Click to expand...

I am super glad he told you right off the bat tbh. It would be scary is he hid it!

Im glad the date was fun, even if the end felt weird. Have you talked to him since the date?
 
M

Maleficence

Member
I'm feeling extra lonely this holiday season :(

It makes it worse when everyone is talking about how amazing their lives are and all the great Xmas plans they have with their friends and families.

Normally my family would have a big xmas roast and that was it, no presents or anything else since we don't celebrate it. If they even do one this year I know I'm not getting invited and haven't even bothered to ask if it's happening to avoid the awkward conversation.

I've only moved to London in October and still don't have loads of friends down here so it's basically me and one guy from work who lives in the same area with me on our own at xmas and it just kinda sucks.

Kinda OT but the friends I know from being here previously haven't really bothered to get in touch to have a catch up or anything but I feel like I'll annoy people if I ask too much... am I just being paranoid? Should I just go for it and annoy the heck out of them until they agree to meet up for something? Like I've literally not seen them for about 3 years but I want to reconnect with people. Making friends is hard work :s
 
G

Grizzo

Member
Maleficence said:
I'm feeling extra lonely this holiday season :(

It makes it worse when everyone is talking about how amazing their lives are and all the great Xmas plans they have with their friends and families.
Click to expand...


I understand that feeling, it's the same thing when you don't plan on going on vacation and people post photos of the marvelous locations they're staying at :/

Maleficence said:
Kinda OT but the friends I know from being here previously haven't really bothered to get in touch to have a catch up or anything but I feel like I'll annoy people if I ask too much... am I just being paranoid? Should I just go for it and annoy the heck out of them until they agree to meet up for something? Like I've literally not seen them for about 3 years but I want to reconnect with people. Making friends is hard work :s
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Just ask them if you could go grab a bite or a drink sometime! If they're your friends they won't find you weird or rude, it's just what friends do. Maybe they're busy with their life but I agree with you that that's no excuse for not checking in once in a while just to say hello and getting to know how people are doing. Surely they'll be able to find some time for you. If they say they don't have time then don't bother with them, they're not worth it.
 
R

Razmos

Member
Camillelang said:
I am super glad he told you right off the bat tbh. It would be scary is he hid it!

Im glad the date was fun, even if the end felt weird. Have you talked to him since the date?
Click to expand...
Yeah he said as much. He was really honest and open about it all, which was very good of him.

And not really, I text him while I was on the train back home, just saying thank you, that I had fun and I hope we can do it again sometime, and he replied back "Of course, that'd be great. I had a good night, it was fun."

That's a good sign haha, I guess I'm just nervous, I don't have good past experience with this sort of thing.
 
C

CornBurrito

Member
Was listening to a great song, and then the last verse is about taking back the US from the homos, liberals, etc... Wut... Like out of nowhere. Or maybe I didn't really listen to the first half of the song.
 
<+)O Robido O(+>

<+)O Robido O(+>

Member
CornBurrito said:
Was listening to a great song, and then the last verse is about taking back the US from the homos, liberals, etc... Wut... Like out of nowhere. Or maybe I didn't really listen to the first half of the song.
Click to expand...

Probably isn't the same song, but some of the same sentiment can be found in it.

Now they gotta split 'cause the Bronx ain't fit
For a kid to grow up in
Let's find a place they say, somewhere far away
With no blacks, no Jews and no gays
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Machine - There But for the Grace of God Go I
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
Well it's official. I'm now in a relationship o//////o. My first one in a while.. so I'm all kinds of excited/anxious/nervous LOL. But I feel really darn lucky. He's an incredible person, IMO.



Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone here in LettersGAF <3. I hope nothing but the best for you guys in 2016!!
 
M

Mostmanlyman

Member
BlueBadger said:
Well it's official. I'm now in a relationship o//////o. My first one in a while.. so I'm all kinds of excited/anxious/nervous LOL. But I feel really darn lucky. He's an incredible person, IMO.



Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone here in LettersGAF <3. I hope nothing but the best for you guys in 2016!!
Click to expand...
Yay, that great.
It seems like alot of people dating recently, your making me jealous.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
BlueBadger said:
Well it's official. I'm now in a relationship o//////o. My first one in a while.. so I'm all kinds of excited/anxious/nervous LOL. But I feel really darn lucky. He's an incredible person, IMO.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone here in LettersGAF <3. I hope nothing but the best for you guys in 2016!!
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Congrats! I hope you two make each other really happy!
 
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