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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.

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I'm bored.
Hi! I remember you posting in these threads a while ago but do you want to fill in the IBQ (Ice Breaker Questionnaire) from the OP?

Your gender?
Your sexual orientation?
Where Are You From?
Where Do You Live?
How Old Are you?
Favorite Type of Music?
Profession or Career interest?
Favorite video game(s)?
What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
 
Hi! I remember you posting in these threads a while ago but do you want to fill in the IBQ (Ice Breaker Questionnaire) from the OP?
Your gender?
-Male

Your sexual orientation?
-Pansexual

Where Are You From?
Where Do You Live?
-Bumfuck nowhere, Montana

How Old Are you?
-22

Favorite Type of Music?
-Don't really have one

Profession or Career interest?
-Still trying to decide what I want to do...

Favorite video game(s)?
-Tie between The Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker and Sonic 2.

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
-Working out and... GAF
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
Your gender?
-Male

Your sexual orientation?
-Pansexual

Where Are You From?
Where Do You Live?
-Bumfuck nowhere, Montana

How Old Are you?
-22

Favorite Type of Music?
-Don't really have one

Profession or Career interest?
-Still trying to decide what I want to do...

Favorite video game(s)?
-Tie between The Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker and Sonic 2.

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
-Working out and... GAF

What do you currently do in Montana? Student, employed, trying to find employment?
 

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Your gender?
-Male

Your sexual orientation?
-Pansexual

Where Are You From?
Where Do You Live?
-Bumfuck nowhere, Montana

How Old Are you?
-22

Favorite Type of Music?
-Don't really have one

Profession or Career interest?
-Still trying to decide what I want to do...

Favorite video game(s)?
-Tie between The Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker and Sonic 2.

What are your hobbies (other than gaming)?
-Working out and... GAF

Welcome!
 

VegiHam

Member
Same. I don't identify as gay. I identify as pomosexual.

http://www.thecsph.org/id-a-day-pomosexual/

I feel like the terms gay or straight are too restrictive. Likewise, I don't feel like I fit into bisexuality or pansexuality.

Help me out here, but I'm really struggling to see what this actually, like, means in practical day to day life. What is the use of a sexuality that's just 'fuck the system.'

As I understand it, it's a fancy way of saying 'I'm not anything because your labels are outdated and cannot cover me! Down with your notion of stable gender binary.' And that's great and all, but it doesn't actually answer the question 'what are you attracted to?'

It's like if I said 'where are you from' and you said 'I identify as anational because I feel modern society transcends traditional geographic bounds and my origin is unimportant.' Which, you know, good for you, but that isn't a place and this doesn't give me any info.

Sorry if I'm coming across rude but just really don't get it. Please help my to understand.
 

Kevyt

Member
Help me out here, but I'm really struggling to see what this actually, like, means in practical day to day life. What is the use of a sexuality that's just 'fuck the system.'

As I understand it, it's a fancy way of saying 'I'm not anything because your labels are outdated and cannot cover me! Down with your notion of stable gender binary.' And that's great and all, but it doesn't actually answer the question 'what are you attracted to?'

It's like if I said 'where are you from' and you said 'I identify as anational because I feel modern society transcends traditional geographic bounds and my origin is unimportant.' Which, you know, good for you, but that isn't a place and this doesn't give me any info.

Sorry if I'm coming across rude but just really don't get it. Please help my to understand.

Most of the time I say I'm gay (as in a male who's attracted to other males) for convenience and ease. If I said to a regular Joe that I'm pomosexual they wouldn't know what it is and be confused if I tried to explain. So most of the time I just identify as gay for the sake of ease.

From my perspective, I think pomosexuality is about doing away with labels and just being you. It doesn't matter how you identify, you're not tied down to a specific label. Likewise to me, I can't say I'm strictly attracted to the same sex, but I'm not questioning my sexuality or identify as bi/pan. This is where I think pomosexuality comes in. I feel, personally, that identifying as gay or bisexual is in a way, restrictive and conflicting (at least to me - from my perspective).

I view human sexuality as a very fluid thing with many evolutionary advantages that I find myself thinking most of the time, that it's really hard to pin down and categorize. Therefore, I think that pomosexuality makes sense in this context.

It's not exactly about saying "fuck the system" though in a way it is, but I'd like to think it's much more complex than that.
 

berzeli

Banned
Most of the time I say I'm gay (as in a male who's attracted to other males) for convenience and ease. If I said to a regular Joe that I'm pomosexual they wouldn't know what it is and be confused if I tried to explain. So most of the time I just identify as gay for the sake of ease.

From my perspective, I think pomosexuality is about doing away with labels and just being you. It doesn't matter how you identify, you're not tied down to a specific label. Likewise to me, I can't say I'm strictly attracted to the same sex, but I'm not questioning my sexuality or identify as bi/pan. This is where I think pomosexuality comes in. I feel, personally, that identifying as gay or bisexual is in a way, restrictive and conflicting (at least to me - from my perspective).

I view human sexuality as a very fluid thing with many evolutionary advantages that I find myself thinking most of the time, that it's really hard to pin down and categorize. Therefore, I think that pomosexuality makes sense in this context.

It's not exactly about saying "fuck the system" though in a way it is, but I'd like to think it's much more complex than that.
Is it though?
No really. Is it though?

I you don't feel like being labelled and want to do away with labels, then don't label yourself. It feels incredibly counter-productive to invent a label in order to get rid of labels. It is a very silly thing to do, but I'll do it anyway. I'm going to quote a web-comic:
0AA4cHC.png


I just see no productive use of the label "pomo", and I certainly do not see how adopting a label is a way to get rid of labels.

But you do you.


edit: Shit, I'm a bit cranky and I think it might have spilled over into this post. Don't agree with the logic behind "pomo" but I should probably have phrased it less antagonistic. Sorry Seath.
 

Razmos

Member
Welp, the guy I've been talking about definitely, clearly likes me because we just had a very hot conversation on Grindr with lots of descriptive language and imagination. I'm beyond saving at this point. I could easily see this going somewhere amazing
 

Palmer27

Member
All those visuals can't mask the levels of basic in the combat system of FF XV Demo. Also what's up with the awful looking hair in the game?

Agreed, the combat felt pretty flat in the demo. Having a squeaky hammer for 90% probably didn't help.
 

Kevyt

Member
Is it though?
No really. Is it though?

I you don't feel like being labelled and want to do away with labels, then don't label yourself. It feels incredibly counter-productive to invent a label in order to get rid of labels. It is a very silly thing to do, but I'll do it anyway. I'm going to quote a web-comic:
0AA4cHC.png


I just see no productive use of the label "pomo", and I certainly do not see how adopting a label is a way to get rid of labels.

But you do you.


edit: Shit, I'm a bit cranky and I think it might have spilled over into this post. Don't agree with the logic behind "pomo" but I should probably have phrased it less antagonistic. Sorry Seath.

It's ironic, but I find myself fascinated with the idea behind this rather new label. It was invented in 1997, relatively new.

I don't think the idea is to get rid of labels. Likewise, I don't necessarily agree with labeling myself with a new label (being counter-productive), but I agree with the definition of this new label.

Is Pomosexual another newly invented in the last month word

Nope.

The term “pomosexual” was coined in 1997 by sex-positive activists and writers Carol Queen and Lawrence Shimel in their anthology Pomosexuals: Challenging Assumptions about Gender and Sexuality

Source
 

berzeli

Banned
It's ironic, but I find myself fascinated with the idea behind this rather new label. It was invented in 1997, relatively new.

I don't think the idea is to get rid of labels. Likewise, I don't necessarily agree with labeling myself with a new label (being counter-productive), but I agree with the definition of this new label.

But the definition is:
id-a-day-24jun15.png

How is this not expressing a desire to get rid of labels?

What does the label of "pomo" mean to you? How is it that you think it is defined?

edit: From the site you linked
People who identify as pomosexual are attempting to reddefine, reassess, and protest current labels surrounding sexual orientation.
 

Kevyt

Member
But the definition is:
id-a-day-24jun15.png

How is this not expressing a desire to get rid of labels?

What does the label of "pomo" mean to you? How is it that you think it is defined?

That's the definition that the website gives, which I thought was nice, but was reluctant to post that picture because it's not accurate.

It's not just about doing away with labels but challenging them.

Essentially, it's more on the lines of words below the picture:

Pomosexuality allows people to to denote a fluid sexual expression without committing themselves to a more fixed or restrictive label. People who identify as pomosexual may have preferred gender(s) when it comes to sexual attraction, but may not feel comfortable restricting themselves to a more specific label.

It's really hard to find more material on this subject, primarily because there's very few.

I remember learning this on my gender studies class.

Like I said, Carol and Lawrence touch this on their book, I think that the complexity is human sexuality is hard to pin down and categorize. Therefore, it only makes sense that to a certain degree some labels do not fully entail a person's sexuality.
 

berzeli

Banned
That's the definition that the website gives, which I thought was nice, but was reluctant to post that picture because it's not accurate.

It's not just about doing away with labels but challenging them.

Essentially, it's more on the lines of words below the picture:

It's really hard to find more material on this subject, primarily because there's very few.

I remember learning this on my gender studies class.

Like I said, Carol and Lawrence touch this on their book, I think that the complexity is human sexuality is hard to pin down and categorize. Therefore, it only makes sense that to a certain degree some labels do not fully entail a person's sexuality.

Okay, now I'm starting to get you.

I still really do not see how ascribing a label to one self is "challenging" labels. This logic just isn't sound, if you do not consider labels an apt way of describing human sexuality then I do not see how you could consider a new label to improve on the situation.

What do you hope to achieve by calling yourself pomo, how do you feel that it affects labels, and what end result would you hope to achieve?
And because I just can't stop asking questions; what about the label pomo makes it feel less restrictive than pan, bi or just plain old queer?
 

Kevyt

Member
edit: From the site you linked

People who identify as pomosexual are attempting to reddefine, reassess, and protest current labels surrounding sexual orientation.

Yes, indeed. Or rather than being combative about it, to be able to have a dialogue.

Which I'm not saying you are! <3 However, this is always a very divisive topic and rightly so.
 
Surely by identifying as pomosexual... you're just continuing to use a new more broad label.

If you truly want to combat labelling of sexuality and sexual identity the best way to go about it would probably be to not label yourself at all.

Just say if you like someone you like them.
 
Down with labels! Here's a new one!

In all seriousness, has anyone ever dealt with guys telling you that you're pretending to be gay for attention or whatever? There was this guy who's a friend's friend and the minute he knew I was gay he kept arguing that I was faking it and that if I was really gay I wouldn't act all repressed and finally "be myself". It's the second time people tell me that and its just infuriating, sorry I don't fit your precious little definition of being queer.
 

Sai-kun

Banned
Down with labels! Here's a new one!

In all seriousness, has anyone ever dealt with guys telling you that you're pretending to be gay for attention or whatever? There was this guy who's a friend's friend and the minute he knew I was gay he kept arguing that I was faking it and that if I was really gay I wouldn't act all repressed and finally "be myself". It's the second time people tell me that and its just infuriating, sorry I don't fit your precious little definition of being queer.

I once went out for drinks with my girlfriend and her manager from work and his partner, and we were having fun and stuff, and while I was at the bar getting another drink he comes up to me and goes, "you know...you know you're gay, right?" And I just fucking burst out laughing and asked him what he meant, and he said "you're gay!" And I calmly insisted that no, I was not gay. He dropped it and went back to drinking after that, but he apparently told my girlfriend the same thing, and she responded the same way &#128514; The way bisexuality confuses people...whew...our cosmic power...
 

Cosmic Bus

pristine morning snow
If you truly want to combat labelling of sexuality and sexual identity the best way to go about it would probably be to not label yourself at all.

Just say if you like someone you like them.

Basically. You're sexually attracted to both men and women? Awesome, you're bisexual. Oh, there's a fluidity to your attraction? No problem, you're still bisexual. Last I checked, bisexuality doesn't involved making one choice and holding to that permanently. If you don't want to be labeled, fine, then don't? It ain't difficult.

Having all these additional labels is just silly and seem to be more concerned with incorporating someone's feelings into the explanation of their sexuality, which is unnecessarily complicating things; there's almost an air of false importance or persecution to it.
 

Kevyt

Member
This is why I sometimes refrain myself from wanting to discuss certain things.

People are naturally dismissive. Not just here or online, but in person too.
 

VegiHam

Member
Technically if you just say anything without providing an explanation, yes.

It doesn't engender discussion.

I'm sorry I didn't get around to replying to your post earlier, by the way. I can see the sense, totally, in identifying as a gay man most of the time and a pomosexual in situations where more detailed discussion of sexual orientation is being had.

But personally, I think labels for sexuality aren't just useful, they're actually a good thing and very important. So I'm not sure I like the idea of disregarding them.
 

berzeli

Banned
This is why I sometimes refrain myself from wanting to discuss certain things.

People are naturally dismissive. Not just here or online, but in person too.

I'm going to try and dumb down my argument;

Say you really hate cereal, you don't think that cereal is at all appropriate for breakfast doesn't matter if it's corn flakes or muesli. You think that people should move on from eating cereal.
But then one day you find this shop that sells pomo, not only do you like it, you also like the philosophy of the shop and how you can identify yourself within it. Pomo happens to be made of processed grains and you eat it in the mornings.
So you sit there and eat pomo and feel good about yourself. What everyone else sees is someone decrying cereal, eating cereal.

There just isn't a way out of this, if labels are unfit for purpose then you don't use them, you don't get to have your cereal and eat it too. How is "pomo" not like queer? How is "pomo" an effective protest against labels?

And I'm going to be quite blunt; has it struck you that maybe the reason why people are dismissive isn't due to some inherent natural inkling in people to be dismissive but that the concept of pomosexuality is a pretty freaking dumb one?
 

Razmos

Member
It's definitely a dumb label. If you don't like labels, then dont use one, it's pretty simple. Creating and using a label to rebel against labels sounds like a damn parody.

Yeah, labels suck, but they aren't going anywhere.
 

Kevyt

Member
And I'm going to be quite blunt; has it struck you that maybe the reason why people are dismissive isn't due to some inherent natural inkling in people to be dismissive but that the concept of pomosexuality is a pretty freaking dumb one?

I don't think it's a dumb concept. If it is, then there are dumber things that we discuss and talk about to great length (and I'm talking about my circle of groups, the people that I interact with in a daily basis).

I think at this stage we're just arguing semantics, so I'm not going to carry on further.

What I will say is that we as sexual minorities have fought against conventional systematic hetero-sexist views of sexuality. We have come up with many different terms of which we feel do justice to how we identify ourselves. That's very important as VegiHam said. However, it's also important to challenge those labels and think critically of them in correlation to human sexuality, many of which we don't know and continue to make new labels - pomosexuality being one of it, ironically.

If you think this is all BS, or anyone else thinks like that, then you're welcome to. I just found this interesting. :p
 

berzeli

Banned
I don't think it's a dumb concept. If it is, then there are dumber things that we discuss and talk about to great length (and I'm talking about my circle of groups, the people that I interact with in a daily basis).

I think at this stage we're just arguing semantics, so I'm not going to carry on further.

What I will say is that we as sexual minorities have fought against conventional systematic hetero-sexist views of sexuality. We have come up with many different terms of which we feel do justice to how we identify ourselves. That's very important as VegiHam said. However, it's also important to challenge those labels and think critically of them in correlation to human sexuality, many of which we don't know and continue to make new labels - pomosexuality being one of it, ironically.

If you think this is all BS, or anyone else thinks like that, then you're welcome to. I just found this interesting. :p

Nope, not going to let you off the hook.
You are going to have to explain how, in detail, pomo as a label is distinctly different than queer/pansexual/bisexual/etc. And you are going to have to explain the machinery in how you think it is a protest against labels. Like I said, no way out. This isn't semantics, it is the very core of what you are arguing.

If you consider pomo a way to "challenge those labels and think critically of them in correlation to human sexuality", you should be able to discuss the how and why you think it. Otherwise you just come across as someone who wants to be a special snowflake.

Oh and dude, this thread is active in ot general. Nothing you say will be in the top 10 dumb statements on sexuality, no matter how hard you try.
 

Kevyt

Member
Nope, not going to let you off the hook.
You are going to have to explain how, in detail, pomo as a label is distinctly different than queer. And you are going to have to explain the machinery in how you think it is a protest against labels. Like I said, no way out. This isn't semantics, it is the very core of what you are arguing.

If you consider pomo a way to "challenge those labels and think critically of them in correlation to human sexuality", you should be able to discuss the how and why you think it. Otherwise you just come across as someone who wants to be a special snowflake.

Oh and dude, this thread is active in ot general. Nothing you say will be in the top 10 dumb statements on sexuality, no matter how hard you try.

I already touched on that on my previous posts.

Okay, you think this is about being a special snowflake and all of that. Fair enough. That's a good assumption to make. However, this is more about feeling that you don't fit anywhere in the spectrum of terms that we have already. Henceforth, pomosexuality hits home with me, in all honesty. I do present myself in a certain way, as I said, as a gay man. However, sometimes I just wish I didn't have to say I was. It's all anecdotal, but the pesudo-intellectual thinking of pomosexuality lies in Carrol and Sheen's book.

That's where the whole thing began.

Queer hits home too. Very similar to Pomosexuality, but I think that for Pomosexuality is more about "F labels" - to a certain degree, than Queer is (which is an umbrella term). It's a more radical way of thinking about labels.However, I am often reluctant to use queer in every day because of its past negative connotations. I'm reluctant to refer to my LGBTQIA+ peers as Queer, unless they have said it's okay.

As far as the special snowflake part. I don't know, I cringe when I see this. Mostly because it seems dismissive in the sense that I've heard this before when we are making up new words and terms for something we didn't before. Especially in human sexuality, and people will always cry "you just want to be a special snowflake!"

To which I say, the situation is a lot more nuanced than that.
 

berzeli

Banned
I already touched on that on my previous posts.

Okay, you think this is about being a special snowflake and all of that. Fair enough. That's a good assumption to make. However, this is more about feeling that you don't fit anywhere in the spectrum of terms that we have already. Henceforth, pomosexuality hits home with me, in all honesty. I do present myself in a certain way, as I said, as a gay man. However, sometimes I just wish I didn't have to say I was. It's all anecdotal, but the pesudo-intellectual thinking of pomosexuality lies in Carrol and Sheen's book.

That's where the whole thing began.

Queer hits home too. Very similar to Pomosexuality, but I think that for Pomosexuality is more about "F labels" - to a certain degree, than Queer is (which is an umbrella term). It's a more radical way of thinking about labels.However, I am often reluctant to use queer in every day because of its past negative connotations. I'm reluctant to refer to my LGBTQIA+ peers as Queer, unless they have said it's okay.

As far as the special snowflake part. I don't know, I cringe when I see this. Mostly because it seems dismissive in the sense that I've heard this before when we are making up new words and terms for something we didn't before. Especially in human sexuality, and people will always cry "you just want to be a special snowflake!"

To which I say, the situation is a lot more nuanced than that.

I'm not talking about how the term makes you feel. It's obvious, and very natural, that you're emotionally vested in the term. I'm talking about how it's defined. You still haven't been able to explain in a clear way how it is defined and how it differentiates itself from other labels. To bring up the not very good analogy I made, it's still cereal but you can't explain what brand it is.

Was "pseudo-intellectual" really what you were going for? That's not a positive term.
And sorry to say but I'm not going to read a book over an internet argument.

It was a bit mean to go with the snowflake jab, sorry, but I don't appreciate you avoiding discussion by claiming that "people are naturally dismissive" or that the core of your argument is "just semantics", when what we are discussing is quite literally semantics.
You still haven't explained how adopting the label of pomo is saying "F labels". And that needs to be explained.

Sure queer has negative connotations, but I see reclaiming that word as far more productive than calling your sexuality "post modern".

You seem to take quite a lot of pride in identifying yourself that way, and by extension is very personal to you, I get this. But I think your emotional investment in the term is affecting how you view it to a degree which makes it difficult to have a rational discussion about this. The term makes you feel good and I don't want to strip it away, I just cannot find any sound logic that supports pomo as a concept. Queer exists, plainly refusing to label yourself exists (which I do to an almost annoying degree), pansexual exists, bisexual exists, and I don't see how pomo is sufficiently different (or different at all) to warrant its existence.
 
In what way is calling yourself Pomosexual better in terms of non labelling than actually saying you don't like to label your sexuality?

It doesn't make sense.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
If people have ideological issues with the term "pomosexual," it sounds like those issues should be raised with the term's creators after reading the book. Seath might not be explaining it in a way that others understand or are convinced by, but I think as long as it makes sense to him and is personally useful, I'll support whatever label he wants to adopt and use. I mean, it resonated with him, and that's about as good as it gets for terms in my book.
 

Kevyt

Member
I'm not talking about how the term makes you feel. It's obvious, and very natural, that you're emotionally vested in the term.

Sure queer has negative connotations, but I see reclaiming that word as far more productive than calling your sexuality "post modern".

You seem to take quite a lot of pride in identifying yourself that way, and by extension is very personal to you, I get this. But I think your emotional investment in the term is affecting how you view it to a degree which makes it difficult to have a rational discussion about this.

The term makes you feel good and I don't want to strip it away, I just cannot find any sound logic that supports pomo as a concept. Queer exists, plainly refusing to label yourself exists (which I do to an almost annoying degree), pansexual exists, bisexual exists, and I don't see how pomo is sufficiently different (or different at all) to warrant its existence

Whether I'm emotionally invested into something or not, I try to step away from it and look at it objectively.

I agree with most of the points and questions you and others raise against pomosexuality. Some of the questions that you asked that I can't answer because I simply don't know how everything would fit under this view.

Some excellent critique for pomosexuality and the issues that arise when making the case for it. Some of which I had not thought about before.

Essentially, I agree with you, but I also agree with myself (if that makes sense, which it doesn't really).

I particularly like the idea of reclaiming the queer term, and I had seen this before but it slipped my mind for some reason. I guess my reluctance to feel comfortable with the term comes from conforming to a heterosexist society.
 

DOWN

Banned
pomosexual seems to be a label used by non-straight people that makes the claim you think labels are bad because they make you feel pressure

personally, that's fine, but I think if you understand that theres some fluidity in sexuality then you don't need to throw away the convenience and positivity that comes from a label which communicates a little bit of useful info about oneself and also affiliates you with those willing to be open in similar mindsets/traits/communities to oneself that may not have enough positive association yet in society for their labels to be tossed away.
 
I remember borrowing the pomosexual book from my uni library back in 2007. I didn't read much of it though. There were so many great books there that were probably influential for me.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
There's a bearded, big chinned filter on Snapchat now and I'm jealous of it

COlTpYSl.jpg

Something looks off with the filter. Regardless, looking good. McDonald's Monopoly is treating you well. &#128076;

I feel like you'd look good with facial hair. Maybe give it a try?
 
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