Hi, I'm Alex and I'm new here.. Guys, I wanted to ask you something relationship related, is it normal for someone to love but constantly denying having any kind of sex after 4 months relationship? Am I alone in the world, living a fantasy or did I take the blue pill from Morpheus?
Hi Alex! There's a series of questions in the OP labeled the IBQ that, if you want, you can fill out so we can get to know you better. Either way, welcome!
As for your question: is your partner the one not interested in having sex? I've initially answered with that assumption, but if it's the other way around, skip down to the second-to-last paragraph.
Four months seems like a long time, but, if the person you're with has no plans to have sex until marriage, then it wouldn't be long at all. Additionally, if they don't have any sexual experience, then four months isn't that long compared to a lifetime. Basically, what I'm saying is that it takes some people time to get comfortable with the idea of having sex. If you would like to start being sexually intimate, it sounds like you should initiate a conversation with them about that and find out their thoughts on sex and its role in your relationship. Depending on their answer, you can then evaluate the relationship and what you need from it. If they're sexually inexperienced or were previously sexually active and now suddenly not, then there may be some personal issues that are preventing them from becoming sexually active; it would be good to hear those concerns. It also may be that they're asexual or have a very low sex drive, or that they just don't want to get into a sexual relationship. Talk to them and find out!
Another question I have is the age of you and your partner. For example, if you're both the minimum GAF age (13) or even in your teens, then 4 months might not be that long at all, as some people aren't comfortable becoming sexually active until they're older. If you're older, then this wouldn't apply as much. All of this does depend on your cultural upbringing and norms, so my generalizations may not apply.
Now, if it turns out that you were the one that doesn't want to have sex, then I'd say it doesn't matter what normal is and you should do what you want while in communication with your partner. If they aren't happy with you two not being sexual and you are not willing to compromise, then I'd say that the viability of your relationship should be considered. Perhaps there are other factors that are preventing you from wanting to have sex with them (asexuality, lack of attraction, discomfort, etc.), so I suggest doing some reflection to figure that out. But there is absolutely no reason why you should *have* to have sex four months into a relationship unless you want to. It's just important that your partner is on board with that plan.
Welcome again!
