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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.

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S

Sibylus

Banned
ooops_by_yuri_murasaki-da9ymu6.png
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
hateradio said:
I didn't realize that was a word that people use romantically until I saw an episode of Law & Order: SVU.
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I guess it makes sense, given "daddy"'s usage. But I don't know if they're used in the same way.
 
S

Salarians

Member
Just finished Zero Time Dilemma. Still digesting; it probably is the weakest of the three but I loved it. Those twists... man...

This series has become one of my favorites of all time and I'm so glad it was able to conclude.
 
V

Vazduh

Member
lenovox1 said:
Yup. That sounds like depression alright. I'm not sure what you can do without him consulting a therapist.
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Sadly, that's also a strong possibility, yes. As someone who's struggled with depression and anxiety, I can tell you that it's not an overnight process and that one has to wish to get better. It's a constant process of wanting happiness and fighting for it. Not easy, I can tell you that. So, if he's really clinically depressed, he needs to want to get better first, which doesn't happen that easily, especially if all he wants to do now is to stay in his comfort zone consisting of an apartment and a TV.

That's why it's even more important for BB to break it off, as cruel as it sounds, because his BF's struggles could eventually bring him down, too. (Unless he's ready to be his support 24/7) Someone with depression needs to recover as much as possible before entering any relationship, otherwise they're going to be a burden. A relationship won't necessarily help someone suffering from a depressive episode.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people with depression are like lepers. I'm not one! Everyone needs love. But one really needs to deal with their depression first in order to be strong and be a good partner to someone, otherwise, well... if you're not good towards yourself, you're definitely not going to be good to (and for) other people.
 
N

Nohar

Member
Salarians said:
Just finished Zero Time Dilemma. Still digesting; it probably is the weakest of the three but I loved it. Those twists... man...

This series has become one of my favorites of all time and I'm so glad it was able to conclude.
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Sadly, ZTD disappointed me. I didn't like the 3D characters models, I didn't like their characterizations (aside from team D), I didn't like the puzzles (way too easy and straightforward... aside from that one puzzle with the cryptic alien signs, but I suck at maths and I dislike the random nature of the card reader), I didn't like some twists (not going to expand here, not the place)... I was so hyped for this game, and now I feel kinda empty.

Aside from that, I think I am developping crushes for young singers on YouTube, such as MandoPony (who I discovered thanks to his Undertale songs). Help.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
Vazduh said:
Sadly, that's also a strong possibility, yes. As someone who's struggled with depression and anxiety, I can tell you that it's not an overnight process and that one has to wish to get better. It's a constant process of wanting happiness and fighting for it. Not easy, I can tell you that. So, if he's really clinically depressed, he needs to want to get better first, which doesn't happen that easily, especially if all he wants to do now is to stay in his comfort zone consisting of an apartment and a TV.

That's why it's even more important for BB to break it off, as cruel as it sounds, because his BF's struggles could eventually bring him down, too. (Unless he's ready to be his support 24/7) Someone with depression needs to recover as much as possible before entering any relationship, otherwise they're going to be a burden. A relationship won't necessarily help someone suffering from a depressive episode.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people with depression are like lepers. I'm not one! Everyone needs love. But one really needs to deal with their depression first in order to be strong and be a good partner to someone, otherwise, well... if you're not good towards yourself, you're definitely not going to be good to (and for) other people.
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Zalasta said:
Have you asked his family or close friends about the personality changes? There might be precedents if it is a mood-related disorder. It's not normal for someone to change so drastically, unless he's very good at putting up a front.
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I suppose depression could be a possibility, now that I think about it.
I haven't asked his family or friends about the changes, no, because they are all in a different province. And truth be told, while he does keep in touch with his family, I've seen firsthand that he tells them next to nothing about his life. When I went with him in March to meet his family and they were trying to ask him about his life, he just gave them one word answers, even though he tells me he loves going to visit. Maybe that's just how the communication with his family is.
But it's funny that you guys bring up mental illness, because that's another reason why I feel like his personality did a complete 180. In January, before he did his complete change, he helped me to finally get medical treatment for the anxiety I have. He was so sweet and supportive, and went with me to the doctor.. everything, really. Now if I tell him I need support for my anxiety, he just tells me his "emotional well of support for me is empty now". :S Which he's now been saying since... February? :X He just tells me to "deal with it myself" all the time now.
It just makes me sad because back in January he said he understood, because he's had and dealt with anxiety in the past..
 
V

Vazduh

Member
What he said was a bit harsh, tbh. I think he could have said it in a nicer way.

Although... he's not exactly able to be of any support to anyone if he's depressed at the moment because he's barely able to support himself emotionally. Basically, he needs to deal with his issues first which is why he's not fit for a relationship right now, regardless of his qualities.

The more you talk about your relationship, BB, the more red flags there are tbh. Save yourself before he pulls you in.
 
B

Bladenic

Member
As someone who's probably in desperate need of medication and/or therapy and who's lost relationships due to depression, I can understand where your boo is coming from (unless he's just an asshole who kept it well hidden for a while). That said though, you shouldn't feel responsible for "saving" him. You need to bail, and he needs to seek help or betterment on his own.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
Vazduh said:
What he said was a bit harsh, tbh. I think he could have said it in a nicer way.

Although... he's not exactly able to be of any support to anyone if he's depressed at the moment because he's barely able to support himself emotionally. Basically, he needs to deal with his issues first which is why he's not fit for a relationship right now, regardless of his qualities.

The more you talk about your relationship, BB, the more red flags there are tbh. Save yourself before he pulls you in.
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Bladenic said:
As someone who's probably in desperate need of medication and/or therapy and who's lost relationships due to depression, I can understand where your boo is coming from (unless he's just an asshole who kept it well hidden for a while). That said though, you shouldn't feel responsible for "saving" him. You need to bail, and he needs to seek help or betterment on his own.
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I understand where he's coming from as well. I'm on medication for anxiety myself, and it has affected my past relationships as well. But the thing is.. I don't know 100% if any of this is depression-related. I mean.. When he took advantage of me sexually a couple weeks ago? I don't think that was related.. And I'm starting to feel more and more that he's just.. Really not a great person :S Which I feel horrible saying but..

Again, though, I don't know. It could be depression-related. But I don't really know. Again, he's dealt with and curbed anxiety in the past. But that's about all I know, and that was years ago apparently.
JCX said:
A guy I met via an app suggested pokemon go hunting as a date tonight. Should be fun lol.
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See this is the type of guy I need to be dating LOL.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
Bladenic said:
Regardless, the answer is clear. Time to move on. The daddies are waiting.

PS. Added you on PSN.
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Hahahaha the daddies tho.
you should just move here tbh.

Thanks boo <3 I'll confirm/add back when I'm home from work this afternoon :)!

And in better news, they are inducing my sister's labor this morning. By the end of the day, I'll be an uncle for the first time o_o
 
P

Prompto

Banned
JCX said:
A guy I met via an app suggested pokemon go hunting as a date tonight. Should be fun lol.
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I got to do that last week and it was indeed pretty fun. We ended the night by playing a ton of Pokken Tournament at his place
and hooked up. Thank you Pokemon for getting me laid.

Hope your date goes well!
 
S

Salarians

Member
Nohar said:
Sadly, ZTD disappointed me. I didn't like the 3D characters models, I didn't like their characterizations (aside from team D), I didn't like the puzzles (way too easy and straightforward... aside from that one puzzle with the cryptic alien signs, but I suck at maths and I dislike the random nature of the card reader), I didn't like some twists (not going to expand here, not the place)... I was so hyped for this game, and now I feel kinda empty.

Aside from that, I think I am developping crushes for young singers on YouTube, such as MandoPony (who I discovered thanks to his Undertale songs). Help.
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Yeah, reading your post and posts in the spoiler thread, I can't really disagree with most of the complaints people have. Still, I love the discovery and mystery solving aspects of these games so much that I think I can look past the weaker aspects to some degree.

If I had to rate them, I'd give 999 a 9/10, VLR an 8, and ZTD a 7.
 
V

Vazduh

Member
Geo said:
tumblr_n7t7t6sJ4K1s5wvh5o6_1280.jpg



wq3Zq.gif


how is it possible that i have never heard of darius SLAY


it's not possible ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i knew there were a few redeeming factors about american football
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49V5F2N.gif


BlueBadger said:
Again, though, I don't know. It could be depression-related. But I don't really know. Again, he's dealt with and curbed anxiety in the past. But that's about all I know, and that was years ago apparently.
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Maybe you should try and talk to him? Just to see whether it's really that or not. After all, you're still dating.
 
DOWN

DOWN

Banned
It's that time of year where I debate which iPhone I really need based on current stats and believable rumors
 
H

Henchmen21

Banned
DOWN said:
Spiritually yes because I know the announcement is in September and I'll upgrade to those new models
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What do you mean spiritually? Does your current phone still work?

Just speaking for myself here but I was raised to believe that you don't throw something out till it breaks down and can't be repaired and that money is fleeting so it shouldn't be wasted. All this "UPGRADE NOW!" has always struck me as crass consumerism and it bothers me.

Just my two cents. You probably feel differently :)
 
M

mantidor

Member
Geo said:
is anyone else excited for the olympics for a similar reason? kii

i am ready (and a mess if u haven't noticed)!
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I will admit I bought tickets for waterpolo and I have zero interest in the sport >_<

I'm weak. I should buy some for Rugby too...
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
BlueBadger said:
Yeah.. It's a bit awkward to ask, but I think it's important that I clear that up. You're right.
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I don't know if it's really worth talking about. You can ask him how he's feeling and whatnot and maybe tell him you're concerned, but asking him beyond that doesn't seem necessary. Even if recognition of depression or some other mental illness were to be made, there wouldn't be any significant change for a while, and it might be in his best interest to figure himself out on his own (with the support of friends and family) without feeling he has any obligations to anyone (like a partner). Plus, past, unresolved problems will color your interactions in the present and future. At least, that's what my own experience tells me.
 
DOWN

DOWN

Banned
Henchmen21 said:
What do you mean spiritually? Does your current phone still work?

Just speaking for myself here but I was raised to believe that you don't throw something out till it breaks down and can't be repaired and that money is fleeting so it shouldn't be wasted. All this "UPGRADE NOW!" has always struck me as crass consumerism and it bothers me.

Just my two cents. You probably feel differently :)
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It works in that it does what it was intended to when it released but does not work in that it doesn't look like or do what the new iPhones launching in two months are intended to do.

I just can't live that way Hench.
 
H

Henchmen21

Banned
DOWN said:
It works in that it does what it was intended to when it released but does not work in that it doesn't look like or do what the new iPhones launching in two months are intended to do.

I just can't live that way Hench.
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Don't get me wrong, it's still your money and you can do whatever you want with it but I tend to notice this sentiment a lot from your generation and it saddens me a little. Don't buy these things just because some corporation is telling you you have to. Be ever vigilant.

Just my advice :)
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
kirbyfan407 said:
I don't know if it's really worth talking about. You can ask him how he's feeling and whatnot and maybe tell him you're concerned, but asking him beyond that doesn't seem necessary. Even if recognition of depression or some other mental illness were to be made, there wouldn't be any significant change for a while, and it might be in his best interest to figure himself out on his own (with the support of friends and family) without feeling he has any obligations to anyone (like a partner). Plus, past, unresolved problems will color your interactions in the present and future. At least, that's what my own experience tells me.
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Well there's also the issue of my physical/sexual attraction to him now.. I can't explain it, but after everything that's happened, I don't even feel anything when he kisses me anymore. In fact, sometimes it sort of makes my stomach turn a bit :S I feel so bad saying it.. But I almost feel like that's another sign that I may not be able to see him in the light that I used to see him anymore..
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
BlueBadger said:
Well there's also the issue of my physical/sexual attraction to him now.. I can't explain it, but after everything that's happened, I don't even feel anything when he kisses me anymore. In fact, sometimes it sort of makes my stomach turn a bit :S I feel so bad saying it.. But I almost feel like that's another sign that I may not be able to see him in the light that I used to see him anymore..
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I think I know exactly where you're coming from. I believe that's an understandable and reasonable feeling to have.
 
J

JCX

Member
BlueBadger said:
Well there's also the issue of my physical/sexual attraction to him now.. I can't explain it, but after everything that's happened, I don't even feel anything when he kisses me anymore. In fact, sometimes it sort of makes my stomach turn a bit :S I feel so bad saying it.. But I almost feel like that's another sign that I may not be able to see him in the light that I used to see him anymore..
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I never been in a relationship so I may be speaking out of turn, but it sounds like you are no longer in love with him.
 
V

Vazduh

Member
BlueBadger said:
Well there's also the issue of my physical/sexual attraction to him now.. I can't explain it, but after everything that's happened, I don't even feel anything when he kisses me anymore. In fact, sometimes it sort of makes my stomach turn a bit :S I feel so bad saying it.. But I almost feel like that's another sign that I may not be able to see him in the light that I used to see him anymore..
Click to expand...

So... it's over, basically. Don't feel bad about not feeling in love anymore because it's not exactly something you could ever control, it just happened.
 
H

Horan19

Neo Member
LambdaTeos said:
about point one: i honestly believe i can feel that "spark" again, but it's something that will only happen if we both commit, something i'm starting to see he can't/don't know how to do it... the issue is that he used to do it in the past, now he changed

about second point: i'm actually always honest with him i express with words, sometimes taking a lot of time, how every situation makes me feel, but apparently he does not get it, he sometimes struggles to be empathic, he usually tells me i don't understand him either.

i did ask him about the roommate statement, and he said he feels that because i have to work all day, he usually doesn't feel like going out so the time i share with him is in the house, doing the same, being monotonous, and he says it's his fault because he doesn't get how a relationship should act, i honestly sometimes feel like there are no feelings involved anymore.

Now that i'm typing this i'm starting to realize this whole situation might be going nowhere and maybe it would be a better idea to just stop it, it will hurt but i guess it's better than having this constant feeling every day.. i dunno... i can't make a choice
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Choosing to move on could be a good decision, and it would certainly be an understandable one. But, not knowing all the details, can I take two shots in the dark, in case you want to keep working on your relationship with him?

The first is a question: I saw in your first post that the two of you run a business together, and that you've been under a lot of stress while trying to either make a deal or walk away from it; does that mean that it's likely that the situation is likely to be resolved soon? It's obvious, so I'm sure it's already occurred to you, but less stress should leave you both less tense (and leave you time for your social life), and more time together might help alleviate the "roommate" issue. If a decision regarding the business is imminent and you still want to make things work, it might be worthwhile to see where the chips fall.

Shot number two: it sounds like your boyfriend has all the emotional intelligence of a mustachioed Victorian stockbroker, but that he has some sort of a romantic side and is, by visibly struggling, at least making an attempt. So, as a reserved guy myself, can I offer a suggestion? Put him in a setting where being a bit more demonstrative seems to him like the natural thing to do. His birthday's coming up and he's hard to buy for? You might still need to get him something, but why not stay in, go all out and make a fancy dinner, and grab yourself a bottle of champagne? Not very roommatey. Plus, if he's the type who feels "obligated to give something back," having something couple-y reciprocated can only be to the good.

Of course, you both might hate that sort of thing, but you get the idea. Good luck whatever you decide to do Lambda.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
kirbyfan407 said:
I think I know exactly where you're coming from. I believe that's an understandable and reasonable feeling to have.
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JCX said:
I never been in a relationship so I may be speaking out of turn, but it sounds like you are no longer in love with him.
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Vazduh said:
So... it's over, basically. Don't feel bad about not feeling in love anymore because it's not exactly something you could ever control, it just happened.
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I don't know what to do. I'm so scared and stressed out about this. I wish it didn't turn out like this :(
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
BlueBadger said:
I don't know what to do. I'm so scared and stressed out about this. I wish it didn't turn out like this :(
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What helped me was talking to my close friends about it. I messaged one and called another and we talked a lot. I needed to call twice. I'd suggest contacting people you are close to and say you need someone to talk to. I'm sure they'd be happy to. If there's no one you can think of for whatever reason, you are welcome to PM me and we can work out a way of talking.
 
M

mantidor

Member
Geo said:
yas. also gymnastics. could you not get tickets or do u just not use?
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Gymnasts are not my favorite body type but its not like I would say no to them lol. I got some tickets for the gymnastics gala, but for the actual events they are awfully expensive and were sold out in seconds.

I'm actually really excited for rhythmic gymnastics, since my little gay self saw it on TV ages ago I always wanted to see that live.
 
H

Henchmen21

Banned
mantidor said:
Gymnasts are not my favorite body type but its not like I would say no to them lol. I got some tickets for the gymnastics gala, but for the actual events they are awfully expensive and were sold out in seconds.

I'm actually really excited for rhythmic gymnastics, since my little gay self saw it on TV ages ago I always wanted to see that live.
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Faints

I have a pic on my pc of a group of gymnasts all standing around with one of them with a prominent bulge (which is why I've never posted it when we do top of page hotties)

edit: Nvm forgot I deleted it a few months ago when I was doing some spring cleaning on my pc.
 
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