Toriyama's corpse bride?
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LGBTQIA+ |OT8| PrEPare Yourself.
- Thread starter Vazra
- Start date
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Via Purifico
Banned
Toriyama's corpse bride?
Perfect lol.
Troubled Bat
Member
Thank you, Seath. ^^
I'm definitely proud of it.
Toriyama's corpse bride?
Goddamn you. Lol
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Toriyama's corpse bride?
lul
Blood Diamonds
Banned
For me it's mostly just thoughts like "What if she thinks I'm fucking ugly" So it just goes away once I start talking. With guys, I get dumb and laugh at everything they say without meaning to, lol.I think its pretty common
When the hunky teacher comes to class all hetero boys got rowdy and curious, there was some kind of admiration going on
May be a normal reaction.
I want a job at the theater that's it in the city 😔 it would probably more fun to work there than at a store haha
Looks great!To go back on a Halloween question, I'll be wearing this for the 4th time in a row. People just love it and I can't get rid of it because of that.
Shame that in Italy Halloween ain't that big of a holiday, biggest plans are a horror movie and booze at home lol
There's a variety of work that you can do at a cinema, surprisingly enough. A lot of technical stuff, office jobs, selling tickets, checking tickets, etc. I believe there's something among those tasks you are bound to like and understand. And the environment is just fun all around, really. People are for the most part happy to just get to see a film and relax. And happiness is an infectious feeling. (Not saying there aren't days where my colleagues are a bit grumpy or sad but most of the time the spirits are high.)
Most big Blockbuster cinemas are not in the core of the city but found in the outskirts, at least here in Austria. It's probably different in the US though. But I'd recommend working at a smaller cinema, just because the flood of people in the bigger ones can be overwhelming, or so I'd imagine.
Dead Prince
Banned
Youre in Italy? I see. No wonder I want to go find a bf there.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Wow... I really am about to be one hour late to class after not coming to class at all last week....
Dead Prince
Banned
lol i'm done with OKC Guy. didn't even go to the park yesterday. has the audacity to text me "we should meet" bitch. wtf was i trying to do yesterday.
Doesnt matter. i went to the gym. did my thing. but omg old man needs to stop going to the gym. he grazed my arm with his lifting belt. i wanted to kill myself.
also.
i got around asking grindr guy if he's interested in going to the swamp center
and now i'm waiting to hear back from him like.
Doesnt matter. i went to the gym. did my thing. but omg old man needs to stop going to the gym. he grazed my arm with his lifting belt. i wanted to kill myself.
also.
i got around asking grindr guy if he's interested in going to the swamp center
and now i'm waiting to hear back from him like.
To go back on a Halloween question, I'll be wearing this for the 4th time in a row. People just love it and I can't get rid of it because of that.
I'm honestly in love with this.
This guy I went on a date with will snap shirtless pics to me (leaving me breathless tbh) but whenever I reply he gives me like a one word response... I don't know why I always do this but I immediately start thinking he's not interested in me since he doesn't even want to talk. But he sent me a pic right? So he must want me to see him again? (plus on snapchat they have those emoji things next to usernames and his is the one that represents me being his best friend on snap but he's not one of mine).
I'm just being stupid like I don't even know why I care. I don't want to seriously date him. He's just really hot and I'm needy.
deltatheta
Member
There's something I've wanted to ask about. I know we've talked about this before int his thread but I'm not sure from quite this same angle. I've been really curious lately about the idea of monogamy. I feel like some kind of alien because it seems like this is a concept that everyone "gets" intuitively and there's no reason to explain why it's such a highly valued virtue that it's assumed to be the default in all relationships.
I'm in an open relationship with some fairly loose restrictions, and it seems working out well for us. But it bugs me that there's this thing out there that's a huge part of most relationships that I just don't understand.
From thinking about it, I've come up with a few ideas on why monogamy is so valued, but I haven't been able to convince myself that any of these explanations, individually or in aggregate, totally encompass the reasoning that causes monogamy to be so universally sought after. I'm just curious to hear from the monogamists out there if any of these explanations are on the mark, or if I'm missing something else.
Monogamy prevents jealousy. People are afraid that their partner will find someone else if they're free to have sex with others. It's hard to argue against this point without sounding arrogant and judgmental, but I think in a healthy relationship you would feel secure enough that merely experiencing sex with another person is going to come anywhere close to causing your partner to want to end things.
The idea that if you're in love with someone, you'll have no desire to have sex with someone else. Wanting to have sex with others means that you're not really in love. I guess this sounds reasonable, but then again you can define love however you want. I could say that love means that you will want to give me a bucket of raisins every day. If I go raisin-less for a day, would it be reasonable for me to say that my partner is not in love with me?
The evolutionary psychology explanation. In a heterosexual relationship, sexual contact always carries the risk of pregnancy. Monogamy is an attempt to guarantee that your offspring carry your DNA (for men), and that your partner is demonstrably committed to sticking around and caring for your family (for women). Evo-psych always sounds reasonable, but to me it's an overly cynical framework to force human relationships into, and these kinds of explanations tend to be scientifically flimsy anyway.
Preventing STDs. Although, I wonder how long STDs would remain a big risk if everyone who is sexually active was getting tested every three months. It seems like the bigger problem is caused by the negative stigma we have around getting tested, which in my opinion is caused by the value people place on monogamy, which leads into:
For sex negative people, someone who desires multiple sex partners is a slut. Someone who has a high sex drive is a pervert, and therefore not a suitable romantic partner. I think as an explanation for monogamy, this begs the question. Essentially this argument boils down to: monogamy is good because people who don't value monogamy are bad. That's not very convincing.
There's a few other reasons that I can think of but they all reduce to the same thing as the previous: monogamy is good because non-monogamy is bad.
I wrote an explanation after each reason of why I'm not totally convinced of their validity, but I don't want to give the impression that I'm looking to argue about this. I'm just looking to have a better understanding.
I'm in an open relationship with some fairly loose restrictions, and it seems working out well for us. But it bugs me that there's this thing out there that's a huge part of most relationships that I just don't understand.
From thinking about it, I've come up with a few ideas on why monogamy is so valued, but I haven't been able to convince myself that any of these explanations, individually or in aggregate, totally encompass the reasoning that causes monogamy to be so universally sought after. I'm just curious to hear from the monogamists out there if any of these explanations are on the mark, or if I'm missing something else.
Monogamy prevents jealousy. People are afraid that their partner will find someone else if they're free to have sex with others. It's hard to argue against this point without sounding arrogant and judgmental, but I think in a healthy relationship you would feel secure enough that merely experiencing sex with another person is going to come anywhere close to causing your partner to want to end things.
The idea that if you're in love with someone, you'll have no desire to have sex with someone else. Wanting to have sex with others means that you're not really in love. I guess this sounds reasonable, but then again you can define love however you want. I could say that love means that you will want to give me a bucket of raisins every day. If I go raisin-less for a day, would it be reasonable for me to say that my partner is not in love with me?
The evolutionary psychology explanation. In a heterosexual relationship, sexual contact always carries the risk of pregnancy. Monogamy is an attempt to guarantee that your offspring carry your DNA (for men), and that your partner is demonstrably committed to sticking around and caring for your family (for women). Evo-psych always sounds reasonable, but to me it's an overly cynical framework to force human relationships into, and these kinds of explanations tend to be scientifically flimsy anyway.
Preventing STDs. Although, I wonder how long STDs would remain a big risk if everyone who is sexually active was getting tested every three months. It seems like the bigger problem is caused by the negative stigma we have around getting tested, which in my opinion is caused by the value people place on monogamy, which leads into:
For sex negative people, someone who desires multiple sex partners is a slut. Someone who has a high sex drive is a pervert, and therefore not a suitable romantic partner. I think as an explanation for monogamy, this begs the question. Essentially this argument boils down to: monogamy is good because people who don't value monogamy are bad. That's not very convincing.
There's a few other reasons that I can think of but they all reduce to the same thing as the previous: monogamy is good because non-monogamy is bad.
I wrote an explanation after each reason of why I'm not totally convinced of their validity, but I don't want to give the impression that I'm looking to argue about this. I'm just looking to have a better understanding.
Via Purifico
Banned
I'm of the party that it's not you so mind your business camp.
I do agree that monogamy doesn't really help with jealousy more compared to open relationships, if anything it could be argued that it helps alleviate jealousy cause all parties are aware of the conditions. Personally speaking, open relationships are not for me cause it's not something I desire and just want to focus on one person and share my experiences with only one.
I wont tell other adults who aren't harming anyone that their life choices are wrong simply because it's not something I am used to.
I do agree that monogamy doesn't really help with jealousy more compared to open relationships, if anything it could be argued that it helps alleviate jealousy cause all parties are aware of the conditions. Personally speaking, open relationships are not for me cause it's not something I desire and just want to focus on one person and share my experiences with only one.
I wont tell other adults who aren't harming anyone that their life choices are wrong simply because it's not something I am used to.
deltatheta
Member
So if I'm reading this correctly, you prefer monogamous relationships because you want to focus your attention on just one person and receive the same focus in return? I guess that makes sense to me.
Via Purifico
Banned
Yes, exactly.
Polyamorous relationships give you the chance to be able to be in a relationship with more than one person you love so there's that. Takes more energy out of you but hey, you have at least more people you can kiss and make love to and talk about different things with. Must be nice.
I don't even have one partner so I'm talking of what I observed in my own parents house since they have a girlfriend as well, from what my father told me it was a polyamorous relationship.
I don't even have one partner so I'm talking of what I observed in my own parents house since they have a girlfriend as well, from what my father told me it was a polyamorous relationship.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Yeah, same. I guess it's heteronormative or outdated or whatever but I really just want to settle down with one person...and honestly? I barely even have enough social energy for my few friends, I don't think juggling multiple people who all want the same kind of attention is a realistic way of life for someone like me.
Edit: Also, thanks for the advice about the theaters Kater. I'm going to apply in a theater this month and hopefully I'll get the job :")
Edit: Also, thanks for the advice about the theaters Kater. I'm going to apply in a theater this month and hopefully I'll get the job :")
1 & 2: Some people, myself included, cannot have sex without catching feelings. I'm trying my first FWB now and I have to end it because I hate feeling like he's cancelling on me just to hook up with some other guy. If I just wanted to cum, there are plenty of ways to do that on my own without risk of STIs
3. I have no idea what you're going at with this one. Is it that since homosexual relationships do not have rproductive pressure (or risk), that those norms aren't helpful?
4. Yes, there is a stigma against getting tested that shouldn't exist, but the reality is that STIs have been rising in the gay community as a generation of gays removed from the HIV epidemic choose to forgo protection, not get tested, or take PrEP (which only prevents HIV, not all STIs)
Even if everyone were tested regularly, STIs can take longer to manifest, so it is very possible that something could be missed even when tested every 3 weeks. This is why open relationships don't work for me - not going to get an STI from my partner because he hooked up with someone who has an STI unwittingly.
And even if every STI can be caught in time, some people flat out lie about their STI status (either by commission or omission)
5. I feel the norm in gay male culture is the opposite - Having lots of partners is seen as being highly sexually desired. In many of my experiences, guys think it's weird not to hookup somehow in the first date.
I have a relatively low sex drive, so it's hard explaining to other guys how sex isn't a huge deal to me. It's fun, but so are many other things. I'd argue that in gay culture, it's easier for you to find what you want (open relationship/many partners) than what I want (committed monogamous relationship)
deltatheta
Member
I just want to reiterate that I don't want to criticize or judge people who desire monogamous relationships in any way, or even that I want to advocate for open relationships. I'm just trying to understand the desire for monogamy.
My point was that evolutionary psychology tends to come up with very plausible-sounding explanations for human behavior, but these explanations end up being be very difficult to test and unsupported by evidence, and ultimately just serves to reinforce pre-existing cultural norms.
So, in other words, I think any evo-psych argument would be more of an after-the-fact rationalization of monogamy dressed up in scientific sounding language.
Gotcha, that's a fair point. I don't really look to much into evo-psych.
I outlined a few reasons why I prefer monogamy in my post. Let me know if you have questions. Happy to answer.
deltatheta
Member
Anytime. And I wish you good luck and hope the job you find will be worth your time.
Monogamy doesn't prevent jealousy, monogamy is the answer to jealousy.
Jealousy is not preventable, it's going to happen, is the most natural feeling the human animal can have, it's more about how you are going to handle it and what are your limits.
Day 5 in Florida. Love the area but wish the internet in the apartment wasnt so shitty. Lots of space to walk around and when Im back in the apartment Im filling up job applications and helping cook. Overall Im enjoying time here and hoping something shows up quickly so i can start looking up for my apartment
This is me as well
I'm not really mad if this guy i'm hanging out and having sex with has some fun on the side, especially if we are not an official thing yet, but if things become more than that i pretend that we are exclusive to each other, as for me i hardly think of other guys since i met R, i'm just like that
I need a constant in my life really badly at the moment, i'm really hoping this is the one
Also, we are spending this next saturday together and since i skipped having dinner with him (scared of sex after eating yadda yadda) next time imma make it up big time, booked restaurant and hotel for something around 500€...lookin forward to that private Jacuzzi on the terrace
Day 5 in Florida. Love the area but wish the internet in the apartment wasnt so shitty. Lots of space to walk around and when Im back in the apartment Im filling up job applications and helping cook. Overall Im enjoying time here and hoping something shows up quickly so i can start looking up for my apartment
Glad things are going well in Florida! Best of luck on the job hunt
Troubled Bat
Member
Thank you!!
Really? That's a shame. I'd totally join you on the Horror movie. xP
Thanks, KmA! <3
This is the thing that bothers me so damn much. >.<
I definitely feel you on that. I always start getting thoughts on things, and question stuff. It's kinda hard not to. I think it's mostly the expectations that brings that out.
I understand most STIs outside of HIV aren't like a death sentence, and the smallest ones are just a minor inconvenience. The last guy I hooked up with wanted to bareback (he's a physicians assistant he should know better...) so badly. And he kept pointing out how STIs are basically an inconvenience. I was just like... that's great sis but I'm still using a condom.
He also had the gall to scold me for sending him a nude with my face in it. Ok Mr. Bareback thanks for the advice! ... I should probably follow his advice tho tbh.
CornBurrito
Member
umop_3pisdn
Member
It's actually really easy, the motive is the same as voluntary simplicity, that by instating restrictions you paradoxically gain a degree of freedom. Freedom from noise or things that you think are purposeless, basically, so it only emerges from meaningful choice/priorities.
This is true. Also, with some strains of gonorrhea becoming antibiotic-resistant, I don't want to take a chance.
I really wish gay culture wasn't so sex-focused over everything else, but that's the paradigm we're in.
CornBurrito
Member
Scust
Nah, I'm just gonna get hot so I can play the game. Easier than changing the whole system!
Drag Show should be fun! I should have gone to one with KmA last week. Instead I stayed at home so a guy could flake on me.
To go back on a Halloween question, I'll be wearing this for the 4th time in a row. People just love it and I can't get rid of it because of that.
oooh, that is a good idea...
Blood Diamonds
Banned
what's closed poly?
Slow burn, full disclosure, group testing, partners known to others of the group.
Essentially it's closed because entrance isn't quick nor instant-gratification style.
umop_3pisdn
Member
open-monogamous + tons of communication seems more appealing to me personally.
I think having sex with other people can satisfy a transient desire for novelty and isn't really a big deal, but having romantic feelings for plural people makes it into its own distinct thing that isn't any longer just some minor release valve.
I think having sex with other people can satisfy a transient desire for novelty and isn't really a big deal, but having romantic feelings for plural people makes it into its own distinct thing that isn't any longer just some minor release valve.
Troubled Bat
Member
Dead Prince
Banned
How the fuck am I going to impress Grindr guy if he sorta cooks FML.
Different strokes, of course. I've a lot of love and I'd rather share it and sex with a small number of people.
Aarglefarg
Member
Show him how far gaming has come since Super Mario World.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
this is one of those days where i have to look up every 5 letter word and above because i forgot what everything means
"Look at all those things like... grinding for extra cosmetics for thousands of hours and Nintendo giving up on making a Mario game themselves and handing that job to the people paying for the game! Does that make you hard? Oh wait I forgot to show you the diversity of games in which you shoot Muslim terrorists! Now where were we again..." 😏
Monocle
Member
Say "I know how to make a great cream sauce" and then do him on the counter?
Dead Prince
Banned
Hes a pc gamer lol
That's not my intention with him because he hasn't given me the vibe that he wants sex.
Just kill me. I'm going to go shower and cry about it Now
SoraanTribal
Member
Does it make me weak or sad that I'm considering coming out to my parents via a hand-written letter instead of doing it in person? I just don't think doing it in person would go particularly well (if I could even get the words out). :/
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