Textless Cryptic Command was a troll idea taken way, way too far.
Textless CC was a terriblarious idea. I giggle every time I see it
RE: Thassa.
This card is really fucking difficult to evaluate, because there's really nothing like it.
2U for an indestructible enchantment that can scry 1 every turn isn't enough on its own, outside of boardwipe-heavy formats. I'm looking at you, EDH.
The '1U -- some shit is unblockable now' ability implies this wants to be in deck with large, aggressive, nonevasive beaters -- such as thassa herself.
Her "chroma 5 -- this becomes a 5/5" ability....
I don't even fucking know.
Jace AoT does't stay on the board for very long, Memory Adept doesn't belong in the same deck as this, Claustrophobia isn't anywhere near playable in constructed, Aetherling is overkill with this (except in control v control), and block constructed blue decks didn't have much else that lingered on the field for too long. The most likely scenario where this would activate seems like.... 2x Detention Sphere and a Jace on the board.
Other formats have far more exciting things do to with Thassa, and the idea of flashing her in from vial is completely and utterly sick, but that's probably too slow for any vial based deck in the history of ever. Even fish won't always be able to keep its dudes lingering on the board, but I can't deny that Thassa is tempting to test as a 1-2 of. Her and tidebinder mage pretty much equate to a permanently unblockable team.
Of course, fish would need to put up better results before this happens. And we'd have to have magical christmasland-y hands where we draw multiple UU lords, stick 'em on the field with a turn 1 vial, and have them stay there. The scry 1 ability also isn't monumentally helpful in decks that try to win at a reasonable rate, but.... well, if it lasts long enough to put a useless land on the bottom, I can see it being approximately worth a card.
Back to standard -- If we're to enter a format where this card will never activate outside of mirror matches (where AoT can linger on the field for a bit longer, and Detention Spheres and needle'd Aetherlings pile up), it'll still see sideboard play for the reasons stated above.
I like it -- very creative design -- but too many of the abilities are too conditional for me to want to drop $80 on a set.
Absurd in control v control though. Absurd enough that I'd consider running more than a few in my board, as landing one before your opponent could be pretty devastating.