ROH The Epic Encounter
TO THE BACK. Some big dude in a suit walks into the locker room or something. Alexis Laree is with AJ Styles and Red. It's so weird seeing Mickie pre boobs and thickness. She looks like a totally different person.
Paul London walks in talking to a mop. Paul thinks he's tag champs with AJ, but Red replaced Paul while he was out injured. This is weird. He says Red is a prop, like a pencil or an egg. ....Her? He ends it trying a Thundercats HOOO and tries to put AJ's trunks on his head. What the fuck?
Backseat Boyz vs Da Hit Squad
I'll say this, the production had improved a lot in a year or so. I don't think it was even that long. Gabe is still awful, though. Of course this starts out with a strike battle. Are any of these guys still in wrestling? I know Trent is dead, but the other three? Maff hits a big t-bone head droppy thing.
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This ring is so bouncy. Also, Maff's lifts are more obvious than Jericho and Kane's. The BSB try to run to the back, but are brought back to the ring. Maff does a suicide dive and basically kills himself. Trent Acid doing Yakuza kicks is hilarious. Running turnbuckle power bomb actually breaks the corner pad.
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This is followed by a running dominator from the fatter guy. BSB pin Mafia with the T-Gimmick. What a dumb name for a move. BSB celebrated, but the lights go dark and out came Special K, led by fat and bald Mikey Whipwreck.
It's a rave! I can't really hear anything Mikey is saying. I'll assume he's either asking them to join or trying to sell them drugs. Dunn and Marcos come out. I'll mark for one of them wearing an AFD jean vest. The Carnage Crew also come out.
Special K vs Dunn & Marcos vs Carnage Crew Tag Team Scramble
The first move is a Dangerous Back Drop Driver. I think Jay Lethal is one of the K guys. He was the only black guy they had, right? Devito does a Northern Lights into the corner to the other K guy.
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Dive sequence. It sucked. Then a dive sequence in the ring where they all landed on each other until Devito missed a moonsault. Botched tower of doom spot.
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Super spike piledriver, but it looked bad since it basically was Devito doing a back bump and the skinny dude landing on him. Mikey comes in and hits some Whippersnappers, giving Special K the win. This big black dude in a suit gets in the ring and does Big E. Langston's move on a Ring Crew guy. Then a bigger black dude in a bigger suit comes in and they have a stand off. Bigger Black Dude hits his move on one of Special K.
Briscoe Brothers vs AJ Styles/Amazing Red ROH Tag Team Championships
Dem Boys! I kind of remember this match. I'm sure there will be some wacky spots. Red's bumping is hilarious. Sweet criss cross dives from the champs. AJ does his guard rail spot, but Jay ends up hitting a super kick. Mickie James is all skinny and is severely lacking dat ass. It's sad. Assisted Code Red. Big top rope elbow from Red. Red's offense has zero weight to it. It's like all the newer mocap moves in the SvR games. Actually, most of his bumps have zero impact. It's really weird. AJ gets tagged in and hits his pumphandle gut buster and German suplex/face buster combo.
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Red hits a Shining Wizard off AJ's back
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, and then they hit a combo Torture Rack/Face Buster thing.
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It was nifty. Only a 2 count, though. Styles Clash on the floor to Mark. Red pins Jay after a sit out reverse piledriver and a standing SSP.
BJ Whitmer vs CM Punk
Cabana comes out with Punk. Trinity comes out and sits in the corner before diving onto Colt, who caught her and took her to the back. Starts off with some sloppy chain wrestling. Punk gets thrown to the floor and BJ does a tope. Tiltawirl shoulder breaker/slam botchy thing. Welcome to Chicago Mother Fuckers! Punk attempts an Awesome Bomb through a table, but it gets turned into an awkward back backbreaker. Another Shining Wizard. I forgot there was a period where everyone was doing the Shining Wizard. BJ has negative charisma. There is just nothing engaging about him at all. Weird looking German suplex from Punk. I think BJ landed on Punk's head. Elbow strike battle! Ends with Punk hitting a lariato. EXPLODAAA! Another strike battle? BJ also does Kawada kicks. He's like a CAW with a puro moveset. Punk does a German suplex off the apron through a table. Kind of. It was weird and awkward.
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The ref crews and trainers come out to check on them. 5 minutes later, the ROH roster is out and helps both men to the back. No contest I guess. So sloppy.
Homicide vs Christopher Daniels
What the fuck, they came out for entrances and then joined the match in progress. How odd. They must have fucked something up hardcore at the start or something. These guys are not on the same page at all. Maybe that's why the start was edited out. Double knee face wash from Homicide followed with a tope shortly after.
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BME only gets a 2 count. STO from Daniels. I think Daniels did a cobra clutch leg sweep from the top, but I'm not positive. Daniels gets out of a Cop Killa, but gets drilled with a lariato. Angel's Wings. Homicide kicks out! Homicide wins with some wacky roll up. This was a pretty awkward match. They didn't mesh well at all. CW Anderson, Jack Victory, and Samoa Joe attack both men after the match. High Spot! Dan Maff makes a save. He and Daniels have a stand off only for Daniels to rip Maff's shirt off revealing a Prophecy shirt. SWERVE!
TO THE BACK. GMC talks with BJ. He can't remember shit! He may have a concussion. Punk comes in and says they had a hell of a match, but next time he'll go a little easier on BJ. Lol, what a dick. We see Julius Smokes and some other dude beating up..someone.
Alexis Laree vs Ariel
This must have really sucked since there is no commentary and it is only shown in highlight form. Mickie won with a reverse DDT.
Hotstuff Hernandez vs Samoa Joe Non-Title Match
Man, Joe looks so much smaller. Hernandez looks puffy. Hernandez was doing his big dive even back then. Still dangerous as fuck.
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Both dudes are blown up pretty early. Albert Bomb from Hernandez is countered into a triangle. It is all over! Well, that was quick. Joe grabs a chair and won't leave the ring. He's going to defend his title in the next match, which was to be a 3 way.
Samoa Joe vs Matt Stryker vs Colt Cabana vs Tom Carter ROH Championship
Tom Carter is Reckless Youth. All three men team up and get Joe out of the ring at the start. Reckless does some wacky submissions, Joe breaks them up with dicky kicks or chops. Cabana hits that weird tornado snap suplex on Stryker. Joe seems to have something against Stryker in particular. He's also a dick head. Kind of interesting to have a 4 way match be mostly submission based. This has been going on for a bit and I don't think Joe has officially been in the match. Joe goes for a dive, but gets kicked in the face by Youth.
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Stryker hits a DVD on Joe. Cabana breaks up the pin. Cabana reverses a super rana, but Youth reverses that into a super DDT.
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Joe throws Youth out of the ring and puts Colt in the Kokina Clutch. Youth hits a frog splash on them, but Joe holds on and Colt taps out. Title retained.
TO THE BACK. David Young and Iceberg are fighting out on the street!
Bryan Danielson vs Paul London 2 out of 3 Falls
Despite the show being named for this match and it being listed as the main event on the DVD case, but it actually isn't. Starts out with a lot of mat wrestling and indy stand offs. Just wrasslin and dick headed hand shake fake outs. Lot of headlocking. Paul hits an Owen styled belly to belly. Dragon hits some headbutts and puts Paul in a seated abdominal stretch and hits multiple palm strikes. Such a great European uppercut. This was the first match to really popularize dueling chants. London finally makes a come back with a big clothesline and almost gets the win with a sunset flip. Spring board enziguri while Dragon is on the apron. Dragon hits an elbow suicida. Back in the ring, he hits an underhook suplex and diving headbutt. They trade some pin attempts and it ends up in a big German from Dragon. London gets fall number one by reversing a top rope back suplex.
Fall Two
Starts off immediately with strikes. London whiffs on a super kick and tries to cover it up with another kick. London again gets out of a super back drop, but gets dropkicked in the knee, which then gets wrapped in the ropes. Dragon starts pounding on it. The crowd chants "where's your honor" at him. That doesn't seem fair. He's just trying to win the match. He's not even cheating. Lot of German suplexes on this show. Dragon wins with a high angle singe leg crab.
Fall Three
Dragon tries the half crab again, but Paul kicks out with some fucking gross stiff kicks in the jaw and temple. Huge roaring elbow only gets a 2 count.
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Cattle Mutilation! London gets to the ropes. London kicks out of a Dragon suplex and again gets to the ropes after another half crab. An odd powerbomb out of the corner from London. Looked like it was going to be a Steenalizer, but he fell forward with it.
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London tries to climb to the top with one leg, but gets knocked down. Dragon finally hits the super back drop he's been trying to hit for a half hour. Back to the half crab. London again barely makes it to the ropes. Dragon attempts a super back drop to the floor, but Paul fights him off. London hits a tornado DDT with them both on the ropes. It was rough.
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London somehow still hits the SSP despite having his leg worked on for a half hour. Paul London wins 2 falls to 1. This is still awesome.
TO THE BACK. Smokes and this other dude head to ring side. Becky Bayless! I always thought she was hot as balls. I worked with a girl who looked just like her one summer. Iceberg and David Young are fighting somewhere in the crowd.
Dusty Rhodes, Homicide, Iceberg, and Homicide's Crew vs CW Anderson, Jack Victory, David Young, and the Bar Room Brawlers I Quit Bunkhouse Riot
Why would you even try to follow up a match you know is going to blow everything out of the water? Especially with a big, ECW style brawl. With Dusty Rhodes and former ECW guys who couldn't get work in TNA or WWE.
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Everyone is bleeding with in 3 minutes. Dusty actually brings a chair in the ring to sit on in between elbows. More dudes show up and I have no idea who they are and who is on what side. This is awful. If you like really shaky cameras and guys pressing forks against people's heads for long periods of time, you'll love this. Jack Victory gives up.
TO THE BACK. Dusty's team cuts a promo after the match. I can't understand any of them. Julius is the first black guy I've ever seen out black Dusty. Cabana and Punk talk about representing the Mid West and Chicago. They're so young and skinny. Well, Punk doesn't look young. He had the bags under his eyes even back then. Punk is cutting a promo on Raven. I hated how ROH would do the "okay, we're done with the promo thanks guys" and then they'd continue like the camera wasn't there anymore. Colt is trying to come up with catch phrases which are 70s and 80s sitcom catchphrases.
Carnage Crew give the ring crew shit while they're tearing down the ring. A random tells Devito to go back to his crack head wife. He takes offense to the idea of having to go home. The Prophecy talks about their next show or something. Daniels is going to kill Michael Shane. Dan Maff is shorter than Daniels. Monsta Mack shows up and wants to know what the deal is. Maff got tired of being in the mid card. Mack then cut an awwwful promo that went on forever. Terrible way to end the show.
