we got the better belding
-
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March Wrasslin' |OT| The NXT Era Has ArRIVED
- Thread starter Kaladin
- Start date
- Status
we got the better belding
Serpentine
Banned
oh yeah, i forgot presale was up. heavily debating going
edit: aaaaaaaaaaand all the cheap seats are sold out. cheapest ones are 155. good ones, but i don't have that kinda money
The Mango Sentinel
Member
I hate your name so fucking much.Well good luck on your midterms. I'm on Spring Break right now, soooo
I can't help but yell out (in my head) BIONIC AAAARRRRRRRMMMMMM at the end of every one of your posts.
It doesn't help that I play umvc3 all the damn time, so it makes complete sense to me that Spencer would yell after everything he does since scrubs do random ass Bionic Lancers constantly.
BIONIC-ARRRMMM!!
Member
Best damn character in MvC3, and also starred in some of the best games this gen.
How could he lose? He's got a bionic arm
mmmmmmmm
Professor Beef
Banned
HAHAHA SUNNY
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
Lambda Pie
Banned
NOAH - MINORU SUZUKI vs KENTA KOBASHI - 2005
part 5 of the Suzuki Week. what a match this gonna be. Kobashi is an absolute legend of puro. began his career in AJPW till he defected with the late, great Misawa to form NOAH. beast of a wrestler, the complete package. 23 5-star matches as rated by the Observer. impeccable taste by Meltzer. wrestled all over the world, including ROH where had a classic with Samoa Joe. can Suzuki match up to him? that's what we gonna find out. Suzuki in his now traditional look. Kobashi wearing a lush robe. the story of this match is gonna be the heel Suzuki trying to find creative ways to bring down the bigger, stronger face Kobashi. let's rock.
bell rings. Kobashi positions himself to lure Suzuki into a test of strenght. Suzuki knows he'd lose so he doesn't fall for it. Suzuki shoots for the single leg takedown but Kobashi sprawls. Kobashi attempts his own but the savvy, smaller grappler reverses position and exits. Suzuki circling Kobashi, using his speed advantage to avoid his grapple attempts. Suzuki rests in the corner as Kobashi call him out. Suzuki moves in and eats a kick to the gut. Kobashi attempts a chop but Suzuki dodges and slaps him. another chop attempt, another slap as Suzuki taunts. he's playing with fire in the early going.
Kobashi calls for Suzuki. Suzuki goes into the test of strenght but quickly switches to a pin attempts. Kobashi rolls out of it but gets caught in a triangle attempt, switch to an armbar. submission wrestling is something Suzuki is an expert at.
Kobashi escapes from the submission. back to center ring. Suzuki goes for a single leg takedown but Kobashi locks him in a side headlock. it's tight. Suzuki tries to escape but there's nothing he can do right now. he rolls, he tries to separate the arms, nothing works. finally, Suzuki slowly reaches the ropes and forces the ref to break the action. Kobashi back on the attack. irish whip into the ropes followed up with a knee. Kobashi sets Suzuki for the chop but Suzuki escapes outside the ring. Suzuki tries to back in but gets knocked from the apron by a hard chop. both guys outisde the ring now. Kobashi throws Suzuki into the guard rail. back to the side headlock. locked in hard. with the side headlock still tight they crawl back into the ring. Kobashi is not letting Suzuki go. crowd is amazing, a simple headlock but Kobashi makes it work so well. he realizes Suzuki is not gonna quit so he takes him to the corner. hard chops. defiant Suzuki screams in his face so Kobashi pulls out the machine gun chops, ending with a spinning one. awesome stuff.
corner shoulder charge into Suzuki by Kobashi. Kobashi puts him in the top rope, goes for a chop but gets caught in a triangle armbar.
ref breaks the hold. Suzuki now targets Kobashi's arm with hard kicks. taunts him while doing so. goes for a fujiwara armbar. tries to irish whip Kobashi but gets reversed and comes out of the ropes with a body splash. quick transition into an armbar. trying to extend the arm but Kobashi is fighting it. he finally does it but Kobashi uses the ropes to escape. back to kicks and stomps. wristlock, follows up with knees to the arm. Suzuki clearly on top now. hard slaps, goes for another fujiwara armbar but Kobashi powers out. they trade blows but the faster Suzuki comes out on top. tries another fujiwara but switches to a inverted wristlock on the ground. Kobashi uses the ropes to escape. Suzuki back on the arm. omoplata locked in, another inverted wristlock hold. Kobashi powers out once again and reaches the ropes. Suzuki lets him get up. armbreaker by Suzuki. taunts the crowd and goes for a second put Kobashi immediately counter with a hard sleeper suplex.
Suzuki is now on the ramp outside the ring. Kobashi steps outside and tries to suplex him but Suzuki fights back with elbows. now it's Suzuki with a sleeper hold locked in. Kobashi goes down and they fall from the ramp into the floor. Suzuki recovers first and waits for Kobashi inside the ring. Kobashi comes in but he's hurt. striking combination in the corner sends Kobashi down. huge corner dropkick by Suzuki.
Suzuki drags Kobashi around. brings him to the center of the ring and hits a beautiful Gotch-style piledriver.
Suzuki taunts the crowd as he steps Kobashi's head. Kobashi slowly gets up. Suzuki moves in, goes for a slap but Kobashi counters with a sleeper suplex. Suzuki gets up enraged and pulls out a massive backdrop suplex on Kobashi. good fighting spirit spot.
Kobashi goes another sleeper suplex but Suzuki counter with a hammerlock. he gets control of Kobashi's body and locks in an octopus hold. Kobashi struggles but reaches the ropes. Suzuki back on the attack with hard kicks. sleeper hold attempt but Kobashi gets to the ropes. Suzuki now with knees to the body. Kobashi takes advantage of the momentum from the ropes and lands a LARIATO on Suzuki.
2 count for Kobashi as he pins Suzuki. tide seems to be turning. Kobashi goes for powerbomb into bridge pin but Suzuki counters with an armbar.
Kobashi rolls out of the submission and reaches the ropes. Suzuki returns with more strikes but Kobashi answers with a hard forearm smash. lariat in the corner by Kobashi. HUGE backdrop. Suzuki tries to fight back but eats another lariat. another MASSIVE backdrop by Kobashi. can we get a third? yes we can! a third GIGANTIC backdrop suplex by Kobashi.
Suzuki seems to be done. he tries to fight back but got no energy left. Kobashi picks him up. BURNING LARIATOOOOO! 1, 2, 3 and the bell rings. your winner via pinfall, Kenta Kobashi. by far, the best non-shoot style match i reviewed so far. simply fantastic and highly recommended if you're looking for 25 minutes of high quality wrestling.
https://legitshook.squarespace.com/straight-shooters-with-lambda-piscium
part 5 of the Suzuki Week. what a match this gonna be. Kobashi is an absolute legend of puro. began his career in AJPW till he defected with the late, great Misawa to form NOAH. beast of a wrestler, the complete package. 23 5-star matches as rated by the Observer. impeccable taste by Meltzer. wrestled all over the world, including ROH where had a classic with Samoa Joe. can Suzuki match up to him? that's what we gonna find out. Suzuki in his now traditional look. Kobashi wearing a lush robe. the story of this match is gonna be the heel Suzuki trying to find creative ways to bring down the bigger, stronger face Kobashi. let's rock.
bell rings. Kobashi positions himself to lure Suzuki into a test of strenght. Suzuki knows he'd lose so he doesn't fall for it. Suzuki shoots for the single leg takedown but Kobashi sprawls. Kobashi attempts his own but the savvy, smaller grappler reverses position and exits. Suzuki circling Kobashi, using his speed advantage to avoid his grapple attempts. Suzuki rests in the corner as Kobashi call him out. Suzuki moves in and eats a kick to the gut. Kobashi attempts a chop but Suzuki dodges and slaps him. another chop attempt, another slap as Suzuki taunts. he's playing with fire in the early going.
Kobashi calls for Suzuki. Suzuki goes into the test of strenght but quickly switches to a pin attempts. Kobashi rolls out of it but gets caught in a triangle attempt, switch to an armbar. submission wrestling is something Suzuki is an expert at.
Kobashi escapes from the submission. back to center ring. Suzuki goes for a single leg takedown but Kobashi locks him in a side headlock. it's tight. Suzuki tries to escape but there's nothing he can do right now. he rolls, he tries to separate the arms, nothing works. finally, Suzuki slowly reaches the ropes and forces the ref to break the action. Kobashi back on the attack. irish whip into the ropes followed up with a knee. Kobashi sets Suzuki for the chop but Suzuki escapes outside the ring. Suzuki tries to back in but gets knocked from the apron by a hard chop. both guys outisde the ring now. Kobashi throws Suzuki into the guard rail. back to the side headlock. locked in hard. with the side headlock still tight they crawl back into the ring. Kobashi is not letting Suzuki go. crowd is amazing, a simple headlock but Kobashi makes it work so well. he realizes Suzuki is not gonna quit so he takes him to the corner. hard chops. defiant Suzuki screams in his face so Kobashi pulls out the machine gun chops, ending with a spinning one. awesome stuff.
corner shoulder charge into Suzuki by Kobashi. Kobashi puts him in the top rope, goes for a chop but gets caught in a triangle armbar.
ref breaks the hold. Suzuki now targets Kobashi's arm with hard kicks. taunts him while doing so. goes for a fujiwara armbar. tries to irish whip Kobashi but gets reversed and comes out of the ropes with a body splash. quick transition into an armbar. trying to extend the arm but Kobashi is fighting it. he finally does it but Kobashi uses the ropes to escape. back to kicks and stomps. wristlock, follows up with knees to the arm. Suzuki clearly on top now. hard slaps, goes for another fujiwara armbar but Kobashi powers out. they trade blows but the faster Suzuki comes out on top. tries another fujiwara but switches to a inverted wristlock on the ground. Kobashi uses the ropes to escape. Suzuki back on the arm. omoplata locked in, another inverted wristlock hold. Kobashi powers out once again and reaches the ropes. Suzuki lets him get up. armbreaker by Suzuki. taunts the crowd and goes for a second put Kobashi immediately counter with a hard sleeper suplex.
Suzuki is now on the ramp outside the ring. Kobashi steps outside and tries to suplex him but Suzuki fights back with elbows. now it's Suzuki with a sleeper hold locked in. Kobashi goes down and they fall from the ramp into the floor. Suzuki recovers first and waits for Kobashi inside the ring. Kobashi comes in but he's hurt. striking combination in the corner sends Kobashi down. huge corner dropkick by Suzuki.
Suzuki drags Kobashi around. brings him to the center of the ring and hits a beautiful Gotch-style piledriver.
Suzuki taunts the crowd as he steps Kobashi's head. Kobashi slowly gets up. Suzuki moves in, goes for a slap but Kobashi counters with a sleeper suplex. Suzuki gets up enraged and pulls out a massive backdrop suplex on Kobashi. good fighting spirit spot.
Kobashi goes another sleeper suplex but Suzuki counter with a hammerlock. he gets control of Kobashi's body and locks in an octopus hold. Kobashi struggles but reaches the ropes. Suzuki back on the attack with hard kicks. sleeper hold attempt but Kobashi gets to the ropes. Suzuki now with knees to the body. Kobashi takes advantage of the momentum from the ropes and lands a LARIATO on Suzuki.
2 count for Kobashi as he pins Suzuki. tide seems to be turning. Kobashi goes for powerbomb into bridge pin but Suzuki counters with an armbar.
Kobashi rolls out of the submission and reaches the ropes. Suzuki returns with more strikes but Kobashi answers with a hard forearm smash. lariat in the corner by Kobashi. HUGE backdrop. Suzuki tries to fight back but eats another lariat. another MASSIVE backdrop by Kobashi. can we get a third? yes we can! a third GIGANTIC backdrop suplex by Kobashi.
Suzuki seems to be done. he tries to fight back but got no energy left. Kobashi picks him up. BURNING LARIATOOOOO! 1, 2, 3 and the bell rings. your winner via pinfall, Kenta Kobashi. by far, the best non-shoot style match i reviewed so far. simply fantastic and highly recommended if you're looking for 25 minutes of high quality wrestling.
https://legitshook.squarespace.com/straight-shooters-with-lambda-piscium
HAHAHA SUNNY
HAHAHAHA
so this is what nerds jerk off to
cr_blah_blah
Member
Just found out about the Jim Ross podcast and it opening with him reading an ad for some shitty Deer Hunting game on android has me completely bewildered.
Since my review of WrestleMania 11 is too big for one post and too long of a read in one go, I'm gonna post it in three parts during the day, here is part 1!
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WRESTLEMANIA XI - PART I
Welcome! Welcome! This is the review of WrestleMania 11, which happened to be a WrestleMania in the worst drawing year in WWF ever and a year that is widely regarded as the single worst year in WWF period. So this should be loads of fun. In the interest of full disclosure, I did not watch WWF in 1995, in fact, I didn’t watch WWF until a few years after that. This wasn’t by choice, but simply because WWF wasn’t available to watch in The Netherlands way back then. In fact, I believe this is maybe a year or two at most after I got into wrestling via the only wrestling that was available here, which was through New Japan Pro Wrestling on EuroSport. This all means this is the first time I am actually watching WrestleMania 11 and due to its reputation, probably the first time I actually watch a full show from 1995. I don’t know about you, but I am well excited for this. So, let’s start the show.
We start off with a voice over telling us how great WWF is, as a nice 3D glass graphic WWF logo appears on the screen.
Yep, it’s 1995 alright.
The intro video takes us through very short clips of each of the ten previous WrestleMania’s and it focusses mainly on the celebrities they got to appear, instead of actual wrestling. Though some wrestlers or wrestling spots are shown. We spot people like Mr. T, Aretha Franklin, Tom Selleck, Regis Philbin and Chuck Norris. We then go to WrestleMania 11, which is starring PAMELA ANDERSON, JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS FROM HOME IMPROVEMENT, MTV’S JENNIFER MCCARTY, NYPD BLUE’S NICHOLAS TURTURRO AND SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS SALT ‘N’ PEPPA AND FEATURING LAWRENCE TAYLOR’S ALL PRO TEAM. Seriously, that’s 4 actors, 1 pop group and a bunch of athletes and it’s literally all they’re advertising in the opening video. If people think WWE focusses way too much on celebrities now, oh boy, you really haven’t seen nothing yet. Mania back in the day was literally all about celebrities and not about wrestling, at least not in WWF 1995’s mind.
We go to the Hartford Civic Center which is loaded with fans who GO MILD. The ring announcer’s mic is not working as America The Beautiful’s first notes hit and shortly after we hear Vince McMahon, who unfortunately also has a mic that doesn’t cut in until half-way through so I can’t actually hear the name of the singer, but apparently it’s a Special Olympian singing the song.
Lets just say, she isn’t doing the song any favors, but it could have been worse. At any rate, that outfit is really something. Can’t blame a blind person for that though and BAH GAWD! It’s definitely 1995.
We cut to Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon, who will be our commentary team tonight. Howard Finkel is our ring announcer. First out, The Allied Powers: The British Bulldog and Lex Luger, who are teaming up to face Jacob and Eli Blu, who come out accompanied by UNCLE ZEBEKIAH.
I am very much unclear wether Uncle Zebekiah and Zeb Colter are the same person in WWE continuity or not. They have the same beard style and similar names, but Zeb Colter does not dress like a Texan, while Uncle Zebekiah does. Regardless, I feel right at home. King complains about all the press at ringside, who are obstructing his view of the ring. I do miss the times when tons of photographers were at ringside to take pictures, I wish they still had this. Lex Luger and British Bulldog do some moves together, but Luger messes up the Powerslam by dropping his brother on the other one and the Bulldog and is always two steps behind and makes it look like crap.
I never liked Luger and I’m quickly reminded why. Bulldog kicks things off against one of the twins and is quickly on the losing end as the Blu Brothers make quick tags and hold him down. The ref gets distracted by one of the twins calling out Luger and as he’s telling Luger to return to the ring it’s BRITISH BULLDOG WITH A SURPRISE ROLLUP, but alas, it is broken up before the ref’s attention is back in the ring. The twins work over Davey Boy Smith a bit more, but suddenly he manages to fight back and clears the ring. Instead of going for the tag to Luger, he paces around the ring a bit as one of the twins returns with yet another power move to take the Bulldog down. Vince McMahon claims the person in the ring is not the legal man, but King disputes this “how would you know?” This is some classic Twin Magic right here. A few more moves and finally British Bulldog manages to make the tag to Luger. Luger comes in and hits a big powerslam and dominates. He goes for the pin, but it is broken up by the other Brother. Bulldog enters the ring to even out the numbers and as Luger wants to continue the match, Uncle Zebekiah jumps on the apron for the distraction on Luger as the ref is distracted by escorting the British Bulldog back to his corner. The twins quickly switch again and Luger pins the WRONG TWIN and gets a two-count. The bad twin works on Luger but accidently backs him up to Bulldog’s corner, Bulldog makes the tag on Lugers back, gets on the ropes and rolls up the twin for the 3-count. THE ALLIED POWERS win. Boring match, a bunch of power punches and power kicks and they only went like six minutes from bell to bell.
Vince McMahon introduces Nick Turturro, who is apparently a backstage reporter tonight. He is at the entrance to Pamela Anderson’s lockerroom, where various stars are assembled, like I.R.S. and Ted DiBiasi and their stable mates. BUT NO! Turturro’s mic is out and we can only see him and not hear him as Jennifer McCarty enters the screen, what a damn shame! But lets be honest, these girls are better with the sound off anyways. We quickly cut back to the arena and do some crowd shots instead. Crowd is excited to be on television!
Next match is for the Intercontinental Championship, it is DOUBLE J JEFF JARRETT accompanied by The Roadie. The challenger comes out next and it’s Razor Ramon, the previous champion. We cut to the back where the 1-2-3 Kid is on the mic with Ramon next to him. Vince interviews him, but again the mic is not working until the very end and the interview is botched. Anyways, they make their entrance and it’s really weird because neither guy yet looks like they’ve done way too much booze and drugs in their life. They rush into the ring and quickly beat down Double J. The bell was rung, but Razor still gets his fireworks-entrance afterwards. Ref holds up the belt as if the match hasn’t started yet, but the bell isn’t rung again. That was weird. A lot of Irish Whips at the start in the ropes and turnbuckles by Razor on Double J, he quickly throws out Double J. Double J comes back in the ring and quickly finds himself in the Razor’s Edge, but Roadie manages to to awkwardly pull Double J out of the ring to avoid the loss.
Double J is done and tries to go back to the locker room, but 1-2-3 Kid stops him and throws him back into the ring. Roadie interferes again, but is pushed into the ring post by Razor. Razor throws out Double J. Double J gets back into the ring and does several dropkicks on Razor to gain the upper hand. He does the Ric Flair strut to minor “wooo’s” from the crowd. Double J tries an Enzuigiri, but Razor ducks out of the way. Double J gets another kick in and pins for a 2-count. Sleeper Hold by Double J, Razor-chants erupt in support and he quickly manages to get out of it. Razor manages to pin Double J with the backslide for two. Double J back on the offense with kicks and punches. Razor gets a few punches back until Double J gets another sleeper hold on him, Razor escapes but is quickly taken down by Double J again and gets put into another sleeper hold. Razor fights out of it and hits a Side Suplex. Both men down as the ref begins to count. They get up at 5 and collide together, going down for another ref count. Count gets to 8 as both men get up, hit the ropes and I guess botch the double punch, as only Razor gets his in, but still drops to the floor as if he’s KO’d.
Another ref count. Razor manages to crawl over to Double J for a 2-count. Both men get up, exchange some punches and Double J goes into the ropes in an attempt to hit a Cross Body, but Razor catches him and slams him into the mat and pins for another 2-count. Double J ends up on the mat at the ring post and as the ref is talking to Razor, 1-2-3 Kid grabs Double J’s legs and attempts to slam his nuts straight into the ring post. Double J kicks his legs however and that is enough for 1-2-3-Kid to be send flying backwards into the railing. Exciting stuff! Razor goes to the second turnbuckle and attempst a Bulldog, but Double J manages to avoid it. Razor has apparently been nursing a bad knee after an attack by The Roadie before Mania and lands on that knee, hurting it again. Double J on the offense now, and does a knee breaker on the bad knee. FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK ON RAZOR WITH THE BAD KNEE, HE IS WRITHING IN PAIN! ANGUISH CAN BE SEEN IN HIS FACE! Razor holds on, but his back is on the mat now, ref goes for the count! NO, ONLY TWO! The ref is asking Razor if he wants to give up, but WHAT IS THIS?! The Roadie grabs Jeff Jarretts hands and pulls him back, increasing the strength of the hold by TWO! Razor is in awful pain right now! The Roadie releases the hold on Jarrett as Razor back once again hits the mat for a two-count. Razor chants erupt as the ref makes a 1-count on Razor. Razor is energized by the crowd and is trying to turn Double J around! HALF WAY THERE! AND YES HE TURNS IT AROUND! Double J is in a lot of trouble now. And 1-2-3 Kid grabs Razor’s arm to return the favor, but THE REF SPOTS HIM and as he explains that he was just returning the favor Double J manages to get out of the hold. He’s limping and in big trouble now. Razor puts him in on the top turnbuckle, picks him up and slams him straight down onto the mat. This must be it! But no, Razor’s knee is hurting too much and he couldn’t go for the pin. Razor is done now though, he limps to the ring and signals for the Razor’s Edge! He gets him up, this is it! BUT NO! Roadie enters the ring and takes out the bad knee in front of the ref, who rings the bell for the DQ win to Razor.
1-2-3 Kid enters the ring and hits both men with a pair of roundhouse kicks. Double J puts the kid into a Figure-Four as the bell is rung several times. The Roadie attacks the Kid while he’s in the Figure-Four and Razor does the same on Double J. Double J and Roadie exit the ring as officials swarm in to break the four men up. Double J retains the Intercontinental Title, Razor Ramon wins the match. Jim Ross interviews Jarrett on his way out, he’s bleeding from the nose as Jim Ross tells him he should be ashamed of himself. Double J gives no fucks and shows us his belt.
Vince goes back to Nick Turturro at Pam’s lockerroom, this time his mic is working! Pam informs us he was just at the lockerroom, but Pamela was not there, so he moved to the green room. And out comes Jenny McCarty. Hey, this is the exact same segment they tried to do after the first match. Jenny gets hit on by the wrestlers as Shawn Michaels shows up with Sid. Sid gets worked up and explains that Diesel is afraid. FEAR! FEAR! BECAUSE ALL YOUR DREAMS HAVE NOW BECOME TO NIGHTMARES! Jenny McCarty laughs uncontrollably at Sid, completely negating any menace the man was trying to portray.
To be continued in part 2 later today...
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WRESTLEMANIA XI - PART I
Welcome! Welcome! This is the review of WrestleMania 11, which happened to be a WrestleMania in the worst drawing year in WWF ever and a year that is widely regarded as the single worst year in WWF period. So this should be loads of fun. In the interest of full disclosure, I did not watch WWF in 1995, in fact, I didn’t watch WWF until a few years after that. This wasn’t by choice, but simply because WWF wasn’t available to watch in The Netherlands way back then. In fact, I believe this is maybe a year or two at most after I got into wrestling via the only wrestling that was available here, which was through New Japan Pro Wrestling on EuroSport. This all means this is the first time I am actually watching WrestleMania 11 and due to its reputation, probably the first time I actually watch a full show from 1995. I don’t know about you, but I am well excited for this. So, let’s start the show.
We start off with a voice over telling us how great WWF is, as a nice 3D glass graphic WWF logo appears on the screen.
Yep, it’s 1995 alright.
The intro video takes us through very short clips of each of the ten previous WrestleMania’s and it focusses mainly on the celebrities they got to appear, instead of actual wrestling. Though some wrestlers or wrestling spots are shown. We spot people like Mr. T, Aretha Franklin, Tom Selleck, Regis Philbin and Chuck Norris. We then go to WrestleMania 11, which is starring PAMELA ANDERSON, JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS FROM HOME IMPROVEMENT, MTV’S JENNIFER MCCARTY, NYPD BLUE’S NICHOLAS TURTURRO AND SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS SALT ‘N’ PEPPA AND FEATURING LAWRENCE TAYLOR’S ALL PRO TEAM. Seriously, that’s 4 actors, 1 pop group and a bunch of athletes and it’s literally all they’re advertising in the opening video. If people think WWE focusses way too much on celebrities now, oh boy, you really haven’t seen nothing yet. Mania back in the day was literally all about celebrities and not about wrestling, at least not in WWF 1995’s mind.
We go to the Hartford Civic Center which is loaded with fans who GO MILD. The ring announcer’s mic is not working as America The Beautiful’s first notes hit and shortly after we hear Vince McMahon, who unfortunately also has a mic that doesn’t cut in until half-way through so I can’t actually hear the name of the singer, but apparently it’s a Special Olympian singing the song.
Lets just say, she isn’t doing the song any favors, but it could have been worse. At any rate, that outfit is really something. Can’t blame a blind person for that though and BAH GAWD! It’s definitely 1995.
We cut to Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon, who will be our commentary team tonight. Howard Finkel is our ring announcer. First out, The Allied Powers: The British Bulldog and Lex Luger, who are teaming up to face Jacob and Eli Blu, who come out accompanied by UNCLE ZEBEKIAH.
I am very much unclear wether Uncle Zebekiah and Zeb Colter are the same person in WWE continuity or not. They have the same beard style and similar names, but Zeb Colter does not dress like a Texan, while Uncle Zebekiah does. Regardless, I feel right at home. King complains about all the press at ringside, who are obstructing his view of the ring. I do miss the times when tons of photographers were at ringside to take pictures, I wish they still had this. Lex Luger and British Bulldog do some moves together, but Luger messes up the Powerslam by dropping his brother on the other one and the Bulldog and is always two steps behind and makes it look like crap.
I never liked Luger and I’m quickly reminded why. Bulldog kicks things off against one of the twins and is quickly on the losing end as the Blu Brothers make quick tags and hold him down. The ref gets distracted by one of the twins calling out Luger and as he’s telling Luger to return to the ring it’s BRITISH BULLDOG WITH A SURPRISE ROLLUP, but alas, it is broken up before the ref’s attention is back in the ring. The twins work over Davey Boy Smith a bit more, but suddenly he manages to fight back and clears the ring. Instead of going for the tag to Luger, he paces around the ring a bit as one of the twins returns with yet another power move to take the Bulldog down. Vince McMahon claims the person in the ring is not the legal man, but King disputes this “how would you know?” This is some classic Twin Magic right here. A few more moves and finally British Bulldog manages to make the tag to Luger. Luger comes in and hits a big powerslam and dominates. He goes for the pin, but it is broken up by the other Brother. Bulldog enters the ring to even out the numbers and as Luger wants to continue the match, Uncle Zebekiah jumps on the apron for the distraction on Luger as the ref is distracted by escorting the British Bulldog back to his corner. The twins quickly switch again and Luger pins the WRONG TWIN and gets a two-count. The bad twin works on Luger but accidently backs him up to Bulldog’s corner, Bulldog makes the tag on Lugers back, gets on the ropes and rolls up the twin for the 3-count. THE ALLIED POWERS win. Boring match, a bunch of power punches and power kicks and they only went like six minutes from bell to bell.
Vince McMahon introduces Nick Turturro, who is apparently a backstage reporter tonight. He is at the entrance to Pamela Anderson’s lockerroom, where various stars are assembled, like I.R.S. and Ted DiBiasi and their stable mates. BUT NO! Turturro’s mic is out and we can only see him and not hear him as Jennifer McCarty enters the screen, what a damn shame! But lets be honest, these girls are better with the sound off anyways. We quickly cut back to the arena and do some crowd shots instead. Crowd is excited to be on television!
Next match is for the Intercontinental Championship, it is DOUBLE J JEFF JARRETT accompanied by The Roadie. The challenger comes out next and it’s Razor Ramon, the previous champion. We cut to the back where the 1-2-3 Kid is on the mic with Ramon next to him. Vince interviews him, but again the mic is not working until the very end and the interview is botched. Anyways, they make their entrance and it’s really weird because neither guy yet looks like they’ve done way too much booze and drugs in their life. They rush into the ring and quickly beat down Double J. The bell was rung, but Razor still gets his fireworks-entrance afterwards. Ref holds up the belt as if the match hasn’t started yet, but the bell isn’t rung again. That was weird. A lot of Irish Whips at the start in the ropes and turnbuckles by Razor on Double J, he quickly throws out Double J. Double J comes back in the ring and quickly finds himself in the Razor’s Edge, but Roadie manages to to awkwardly pull Double J out of the ring to avoid the loss.
Double J is done and tries to go back to the locker room, but 1-2-3 Kid stops him and throws him back into the ring. Roadie interferes again, but is pushed into the ring post by Razor. Razor throws out Double J. Double J gets back into the ring and does several dropkicks on Razor to gain the upper hand. He does the Ric Flair strut to minor “wooo’s” from the crowd. Double J tries an Enzuigiri, but Razor ducks out of the way. Double J gets another kick in and pins for a 2-count. Sleeper Hold by Double J, Razor-chants erupt in support and he quickly manages to get out of it. Razor manages to pin Double J with the backslide for two. Double J back on the offense with kicks and punches. Razor gets a few punches back until Double J gets another sleeper hold on him, Razor escapes but is quickly taken down by Double J again and gets put into another sleeper hold. Razor fights out of it and hits a Side Suplex. Both men down as the ref begins to count. They get up at 5 and collide together, going down for another ref count. Count gets to 8 as both men get up, hit the ropes and I guess botch the double punch, as only Razor gets his in, but still drops to the floor as if he’s KO’d.
Another ref count. Razor manages to crawl over to Double J for a 2-count. Both men get up, exchange some punches and Double J goes into the ropes in an attempt to hit a Cross Body, but Razor catches him and slams him into the mat and pins for another 2-count. Double J ends up on the mat at the ring post and as the ref is talking to Razor, 1-2-3 Kid grabs Double J’s legs and attempts to slam his nuts straight into the ring post. Double J kicks his legs however and that is enough for 1-2-3-Kid to be send flying backwards into the railing. Exciting stuff! Razor goes to the second turnbuckle and attempst a Bulldog, but Double J manages to avoid it. Razor has apparently been nursing a bad knee after an attack by The Roadie before Mania and lands on that knee, hurting it again. Double J on the offense now, and does a knee breaker on the bad knee. FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK ON RAZOR WITH THE BAD KNEE, HE IS WRITHING IN PAIN! ANGUISH CAN BE SEEN IN HIS FACE! Razor holds on, but his back is on the mat now, ref goes for the count! NO, ONLY TWO! The ref is asking Razor if he wants to give up, but WHAT IS THIS?! The Roadie grabs Jeff Jarretts hands and pulls him back, increasing the strength of the hold by TWO! Razor is in awful pain right now! The Roadie releases the hold on Jarrett as Razor back once again hits the mat for a two-count. Razor chants erupt as the ref makes a 1-count on Razor. Razor is energized by the crowd and is trying to turn Double J around! HALF WAY THERE! AND YES HE TURNS IT AROUND! Double J is in a lot of trouble now. And 1-2-3 Kid grabs Razor’s arm to return the favor, but THE REF SPOTS HIM and as he explains that he was just returning the favor Double J manages to get out of the hold. He’s limping and in big trouble now. Razor puts him in on the top turnbuckle, picks him up and slams him straight down onto the mat. This must be it! But no, Razor’s knee is hurting too much and he couldn’t go for the pin. Razor is done now though, he limps to the ring and signals for the Razor’s Edge! He gets him up, this is it! BUT NO! Roadie enters the ring and takes out the bad knee in front of the ref, who rings the bell for the DQ win to Razor.
1-2-3 Kid enters the ring and hits both men with a pair of roundhouse kicks. Double J puts the kid into a Figure-Four as the bell is rung several times. The Roadie attacks the Kid while he’s in the Figure-Four and Razor does the same on Double J. Double J and Roadie exit the ring as officials swarm in to break the four men up. Double J retains the Intercontinental Title, Razor Ramon wins the match. Jim Ross interviews Jarrett on his way out, he’s bleeding from the nose as Jim Ross tells him he should be ashamed of himself. Double J gives no fucks and shows us his belt.
Vince goes back to Nick Turturro at Pam’s lockerroom, this time his mic is working! Pam informs us he was just at the lockerroom, but Pamela was not there, so he moved to the green room. And out comes Jenny McCarty. Hey, this is the exact same segment they tried to do after the first match. Jenny gets hit on by the wrestlers as Shawn Michaels shows up with Sid. Sid gets worked up and explains that Diesel is afraid. FEAR! FEAR! BECAUSE ALL YOUR DREAMS HAVE NOW BECOME TO NIGHTMARES! Jenny McCarty laughs uncontrollably at Sid, completely negating any menace the man was trying to portray.
To be continued in part 2 later today...
PhantomZone
Member
Not the best theme but not the worst
superpickleman
Member
Those two are pretty much the only main roster Divas he thinks are any good, so unsurprising.
British Monsoon
Member
Finished watching DDT4 - another fantastic PWG show, well worth a watch. Loved the finals.
Also, to further illustrate how dumb AR Fox is, the following gif is now just some regular bump he takes;
Incidentally, the Breakdown on Tosh.0 last night was of Mickie Knuckles breaking her leg in IWA-MS against Sara Del Rey, which was random.
Also, to further illustrate how dumb AR Fox is, the following gif is now just some regular bump he takes;
Incidentally, the Breakdown on Tosh.0 last night was of Mickie Knuckles breaking her leg in IWA-MS against Sara Del Rey, which was random.
I like how AJ hit both the Shining Wizard and put on the Black Widow to win the match. This is where having two finishers pays off.
I kind of want Bryan to do the same at Mania, hit his running knee and then putting on the YES-lock to win the title after failing a couple of times with just using one or the other.
Conrad Link
Member
Just watched Raw, hold me GAF I was actually excited for something.
When D-Bry said "Hang on Hunter.... that's not all I wanted." I pretty much jizzed in my pants right then.
Only thing is the crowd didn't really appreciate what was happening. Why didn't they do this last week? Chicago would have caught on instantly and gone nuts as soon as the wait there's just one more thing came out of Bryan's mouth.
Its almost funny how even when WWE get it right finally they manage to do it wrong still somehow.
When D-Bry said "Hang on Hunter.... that's not all I wanted." I pretty much jizzed in my pants right then.
Only thing is the crowd didn't really appreciate what was happening. Why didn't they do this last week? Chicago would have caught on instantly and gone nuts as soon as the wait there's just one more thing came out of Bryan's mouth.
Its almost funny how even when WWE get it right finally they manage to do it wrong still somehow.
Looks like Colt's love for Over The Top finally paid off for him.
Unblock-US doesn't work on phones? I haven't tried it, but it says it does on their page.
FlammableD
Banned
The suggestion I heard (which I like) was that Chicago fans would have tried to hop the barricade.
I'm actually surprised I haven't seen a standing Shining Wizard before, now I think about it.
Heh, I don't know, maybe Natty was out of position, but it's still clearly a Shining Wizard, just had to jump a little bit higher.
You could spin it and pretend she stole Daniel Bryan's move to piss off Brie Bella. But then she needs to do it on Brie instead. Also have Bryan revert to abusive boyfriend Bryan and turn on Brie, just because that would be a great storyline and would include prime Bryan!
You could spin it and pretend she stole Daniel Bryan's move to piss off Brie Bella. But then she needs to do it on Brie instead. Also have Bryan revert to abusive boyfriend Bryan and turn on Brie, just because that would be a great storyline and would include prime Bryan!
British Monsoon
Member
It's a high side-knee to the face, no shining wizard for you!
Also, AJ should rip off Scorpion Rising from Meiko;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTTR3h8oVgM
Also, AJ should rip off Scorpion Rising from Meiko;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTTR3h8oVgM
It does on Netflix, but I believe the WWE app uses your phones location rather than the IP address. FakeGPS doesn't even seem to fool it.
I'm pretty sure Helms used to do them all the time, and they'd call it a shining wizard, and it's not. It's an enzuigiri.
Speaking of Helms, why did they add him saying his name to his solo run titantron? So stupid. Ruined a pretty cool theme. Then he had that stupid LISTEN crap
That would be a good move for her, yeah.
Conrad Link
Member
That's true lol.
Everyone would be like "OK!" and all hop over.
HHH: "Come on tubby in the front, come and have a go"
*tubby actually has a knife*
HHH: "Oh shi...."
Former WCW superstar Alex Wright is currently a guest coach at the WWE Performance Center.
http://www.wrestling-infos.de/91259.html
I've seen HHH job to him in Germany in 1994. Hopefully he'll take Dance Off's in WWE to the next level.
http://www.wrestling-infos.de/91259.html
I've seen HHH job to him in Germany in 1994. Hopefully he'll take Dance Off's in WWE to the next level.
Wait, hang on. An Enzuigiri is a running kick to the side/back of the head with the foot, isn't it?
It's just a kick to the back of the head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlKwhzxmIcg
Also, AJ's shining wizards just looks like she's running into them. She's got no swing.
FlammableD
Banned
Wasn't he still doing those on a kneeling opponent though?
Fair enough, but that's not the Shining Wizard, at least not the regular variation where you hit the front of the face with the shin or knee.
I know it's not. I'm saying that's what an enzuigiri is, but WWE likes to just throw all kicks under the same umbrella
British Monsoon
Member
Everyone does enziguri's, more people should do a gamengiri;
Like how every suplex is a throw.
Like how every suplex is a throw.
Lambda Pie
Banned
Arrowgigantic
Member
The Hogan doll thread is a sight to behold.
WrassleGAF is mainstream now! Hulkamania is back! And creepy! And strangely enticing!
Ah, I see what you're saying.
Conrad Link
Member
Orton: "Hunner what were you thinking, not only am I up against Dave but now Bryan too?"
HHH: "What are you trying to say? You don't think I'll get the job done?"
Bootista: *out of breath* "No its not that *panting* well, listen, we're just, you know."
*HHH fuming then walks away*
Turns out HHH loses to D-Bry on purpose (because LOL as if right guys???????? I'm still the best remember) just to screw both of the others guys out of the title at WM.
D-Bry and HHH are friends now, D-Bry wears his jacket.
HHH gets the cheers he so desperately needs to survive.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
HHH: "What are you trying to say? You don't think I'll get the job done?"
Bootista: *out of breath* "No its not that *panting* well, listen, we're just, you know."
*HHH fuming then walks away*
Turns out HHH loses to D-Bry on purpose (because LOL as if right guys???????? I'm still the best remember) just to screw both of the others guys out of the title at WM.
D-Bry and HHH are friends now, D-Bry wears his jacket.
HHH gets the cheers he so desperately needs to survive.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
On the plus side
sounds like after the reactions they got against the Wyatts, they've decided to keep them together a bit longer
They also probably realised that
Reigns is just a hot tag machine at this point and throwing him out there by himself is going to royally fuck him over.
...Continued from part 1: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=104043114&postcount=12118
------
WRESTLEMANIA XI - PART II
Up next, out comes King Kong Bundy with Ted DiBiasi, who has The Undertaker’s urn! We get a flashback from the 1995 Royal Rumble, where King Kong Bundy is facing off with the Undertaker as Paul Bearer guards the urn on the outside, but Irwin R. Schyster comes out and “reposses” the Urn! We go to ringside, where we find from Chicago Bear Neil Anderson to hype the NFL vs. WWF match later on… GONG! GONG! Lights are out, thunder flashes. IT’S THUNDERING! IT’S LIGHTNING! Vince McMahon tells us. 2014 WWE Hall of Famer Paul Bearer comes out, God rest his soul, with The Undertaker in tow.
The referee for this match is Larry Young, a MLB Umpire, officiating his first WWE Match ever. No real explanation why he’s there, but I guess it counts as another celebrity appearance? No clue if this guy is a big deal or not in the US, probably not. Bell is rung and so is King Kong Bundy’s as Undertaker hits an uppercut and does his VINTAGE ROPE WALK, but it only makes Bundy woozy on his feet, as if he’s about to take a Fatality. A few more hits and DOWN GOES BUNDY! Undertaker sets his sights on DiBiasi, who is holding the urn. LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU UNDERTAKER!! King Kong Bundy is back on his feet and lazily clotheslines Taker over the top rope to the outside!
BUT THE UNDERTAKER TAKES THIS OPPORTUNITY TO RETREIVE THE URN FROM DIBIASI!
KING KONG BUNDY CAN’T BELIEVE IT! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! OH THE HUMANITY!! As The Undertaker safely returns The Urn to Paul Bearer’s loving arms…
…Proper tribute is gives as the light pours out of the majestic Urn!
Match continues as Taker takes it to King Kong Bundy. DiBiasi walks up the entranceway and signals KAMA MUSTAFA THE ULTIMATE MACHINE down to the ring, who immediately goes after Paul Bearer and The Urn! He kicks Bearer in the guy and takes The Urn. The Undertaker grabs Kama and tries to drag him into the ring, but DiBiasi holds him down as Bundy attacks Taker. Kama takes The Urn away! Jim Ross catches him near the top of the entrance way and Kama tells us he intends to MELT THE URN DOWN, PUT IT ON A CHAIN AND WEAR IT AROUND HIS NECK, BECAUSE THIS URN IS HIS! IT’S HIS! Who metls down an urn to make jewelry out of it? King tells us IT’S CRAZY! And yes King, yes it is. In the ring Bundy has the upper hand and uses his foot to choke Taker in the corner. The two exchange punches in the middle of ring, Bundy with a Slam and a knee to the face for a 1-count pin! THERE WAS FOURHUNDERDANDFOURTY POUNDS TO THAT KNEE DROP MCMAHON! Bearer is back on his feet as Bundy has Taker in a sleeper hold. He rallies the crowd, and they cheer and clap for Taker. Still in the hold, Taker is slowly losing consciousness, he tries to reach the ropes, but his arms are way too shirt. You can feel his power dissipate, so tells us Vince McMahon. But NO! Taker slowly fights back to his feet and Bundy has no choice but to punch him into the turnbuckle! Bundy whips Taker into the opposing buckle and does a SPLASH! Taker completely no sells it as Bundy celebrates! BOOT TO THE FACE, awfull selling, Taker picks up al 440 pounds of King Kong Bundy and BODYSLAMS HIM! Flying Clothesline!
Classic Taker pin! It’s over, 1-2-3! Taker goes FOUR AND OH at WrestleMania! Camera cuts to a guy dressed up as Taker celebrating as commentary reminds us that although Taker has won, they still haven’t been able to retrieve the urn back.
We cut to the back, Nicholas Turturro is outside of Pamela Anderson’s lockerroom for real this time, but tells us she has left the arena after being distraught from a big disagreement with Shawn Michaels. NFL All-Star Team Member Steve (not yet Mongo) McMichael and his friends walks up to him. He’s looking for “this Kama character” that called him “Cream Puff” and he’s gonna get his “AGAIN tonight babydoll.” One of the other players calls out King Kong Bundy. Another calls out Nikolai Volkoff and the final one calls out Tatanka. I don’t know who any of these people are, aside from Mongo obviously, but they mean to dish out some sweet revenge on the Million Dollar Corporation tonight, it seems.
Turturro walks away, opens a door AND FINDS BOB BACKLUND! Backlund is playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who is wearing a suit and bow tie. Turturro goes to ask a question, but Bob Backlund stands up and yells at him that “THAT’S WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA TODAY, YOU PEOPLE WITH YOUR CAMERA’S, YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOOT ON ANYONE AT ANY TIME!” Turturro makes a quick apology, explaining all he was doing was look for the whereabouts of Pamela Anderson. Backlund throws his arms in the air and asks who Pam is, he never heard of her! JTT quickly takes advantage and checkmates Backlund! Apparently, this is what’s wrong with society today! All these young people taking advantage of the elderly! And they should be showing some respect! He asks JTT who the 34th president is and some other trivia, but JTT gets all the questions right! What a smart kid he is! Backlund blows his lid and storms off!
Back to the ring, where Owen Hart walks down the entrance ramp, it’s time for the tag-team championship match! Owen Hart has a surprise partner, Vince McMahon has no clue who it is, but Jerry Lawler already knows! Owen takes the mic and introduces his partner… A guy who beat his brother Bret for the WWF Championship! IT’S YOKOZUNA! He makes his entrance and we cut to the back, where The Smoking Gunns, Billy and Bart, are standing. Vince asks them if they are as surprised as we are? Billy and Bart are surprised, but Billy tells us there are walking in the champ and are walking out the champ. Billy and Bart make their entrance.
Vince cuts to the French Commentary team, and Lawler makes his classic racists comment, by asking if “those guys parlez vous fried eggs?” Never change King… But please do, it’s 2014 and you still make these kinds of comments. Jesus. Yokozuna gets some heat by waving around the Japanese flag, because BOOOOO DON’T BE PROUD OF YOUR COUNTRY YOKOZUNA! Weak USA-chant erupts. Owen and Billy start us of. They lock up and Billy gets Owen against the ropes. Owen retaliates by a slap to the face, some boos from the crowd, Billy quickly gets revenge and slaps Owen back. King complains that it’s not fair to just slap a man in the face, but Vince disagrees, saying open hand slaps are allowed in competition. Tag to Bart, Billy extends Owen’s arm as Bart goes to the top and jumps down on the arm with his legs spread. Why he doesn’t go down by taking an arm to the nuts? Who knows?
It’s Owen and Bart now, and Owen fights back, pokes Bart’s eye and tags Yokozuna in the ring. Yokozuna tries the elbow drop, but misses! Yokozuna tags Owen back in, Owen quickly loses the advantage as two hip tosses later, Bart is back on the offense. Bart tags Billy back in and they double team on BOTH MEN! Billy and Bart exchange tags and do more double team stuff, Owen gets pinned by Billy for two! Another tag, Bart kicks and punches Owen. They are in full control now. Bart whips Owen into the turnbuckle hard, Owen bounces down for a two-count, another tag and a double team move. Billy goes for the pin, but Yokozuna distracts the referee by entering the ring, so no count. Owen gets a tag and Yokozuna hits a devastating leg drop on Billy!
Eat your heart out Hogan, that’s a devastating leg drop if I ever saw one! No pin attempt as Billy rolls out of the ring. Ref gets distracted by Bart, as Owen picks up Billy and slams him backfirst into the ring post! He throws Billy back into the ring. Yokozuna hits a head butt and Billy is seeing stars. Billy fights back though, headbutts and punches to Yokozuna. Yokozuna gives no fucks and knocks Billy to the mat. Yokozuna pins Billy’s face to the mat with a choke hold, but he does the move to the wrong side, so the hard camera just shows his ass and we can only see Billy’s legs. We cut to a camera that has 50% of the frame taken up by Owen’s leg, so that’s not much better either. Billy withstands the pain, but manages to fight back and get to his feet. Owen goes to the top, attempts a drop kick, but Billy ducks out of the way! He makes it to Bart for the tag. Bart goes after Owen, picks him up and as McMahon has been stating all night…
“WHAT A SLAM!” What a slam indeed, I’ve never seen anyone drop another wrestler this lazily. He goes after Yokozuna and tosses him into the mat with the back of the head by grabbing Yokozuna’s pony tail. “WHAT A MANEUVER” says Vince as King explains it was a “blatant hair pull and illegal” and it was right in front of the ref too, he saw the whole thing and didn’t even give Bart a warning! It wasn’t even Black Divas Ref either! Tag to Billy, both men go for the ropes, but Owen quickly grabs the ropes Bart wants to bounce on and he goes tumbling off to ringside as Yokozuna Belly to Belly Suplexes Billy to the mat
Again Yokozuna refuses to go for the pin and instead drags Billy to the turnbuckle. This man knows no boundaries. Yokozuna goes to the middle rope and BONZAI DROP to Billy. Bart runs in and breaks the pin, Yokozuna throws him out of the ring and makes the tag to Owen. Owen drags Billy to the middle of the ring, teases going for the sharpshooter, but realizes Billy is already dead and pins him instead, ONE, TWO AND THREE! NEW TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS!! King is very excited by the heels picking up the win.
A blip has entered the arena, and there is a camera in there! We can see shots from all the way at the top. Looks like shit. We cut to the back, where Todd Pettengill has Bam Bam Bigelow, who is in the main event tonight against Lawrence Taylor. We flashback to the Royal Rumble, where Bam Bigelow shoved Lawrence Taylor at ringside, setting this whole thing in motion. We cut to a flashback from a few days ago, at the Pre-WrestleMania Workout on “WWF Times Square” we see Bam Bam Bigelow once again try and attack Taylor, who now fights back and a big brawl ensues!
Bam Bam explains Taylor disrespected him and he won’t stand for that. It’s Sunday night, it’s WrestleMania Sunday and he’s taking LT down! Todd asks if Bam Bam has any psychologic issues with the fans being firmly behind LT in this match. Bam Bam Bigelow promises he is not going to be known as the guy who lost against Lawrence Taylor at WrestleMania. This is his world and not LT’s. Todd goes on to explain how there’s friends of LT’s all over the arena, in the crowd at ringside, in the back, everywhere! The Million Dollar Corporation will be there too! Is Bam Bam worried at all that confrontation happening tonight? Bam Bam has the biggest and baddest crew behind him and DiBiasi will take care of any people trying to get involved. Bam Bam promises Lawrence Taylor will go down for the 1-2-3 tonight.
Back at ringside, King and Vince discuss what Bigelow has said and they cut to the Fink in the ring, who explains the rules of the next match, a submission match in which the loser of the match will verify his submission by saying the words… “I QUIT!” on the microphone. We get a special guest referee. IT’S ROWDY RODDY PIPER! The crowd pops as Roddy makes his entrance. Fink introduces Bob Backlund first, who makes his entrance to no music, as always. Bob complains and moans all the way to the ring. His opponent for tonight is Bret Hart. It’s Chickenwing versus Sharpshooter! Who will come out on top?! The men lock up and Bret takes control with some punches early on, he whips Backlund into the ring posts and sends him bouncing. Backlund is overpowered and Bret already goes for the Sharpshooter, but fails to get it locked in. Piper asks Bob if he wants to quit, but Bob just slaps the mic out of the way. Bret goes for a submission in the ropes.
Piper asks if Backlund wants to quit, but Bob yells NO! Attaguy, Backlund! Bret goes to the outside and throws some punches before putting Backlund back in the ring. Piper again asks Bob, but no dice. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter again, but Bob manages to escape before he locks it in again. Bret puts Bob into a figure-four leglock. Piper asks Bob if he quits, Bob yells NO and turns the move around, Bob asks Brett if he wants to quit, no! As the guys break the hold, Vince shows us a Picture-in-picture of the German commentary team, providing a blast to the past for me as these guys were the commentary team young Aiii listened to via satellite back in the day. I cry a few tears while King tells me these guys have great faces for radio. Bret puts Bob in a leglock and Bob refuses to quit. Backlund pushes Bretts chin back and manages to break the hold. Bret works on Backlunds knee and puts him back in the lock. Piper repeats the question, Bob refuses to quit once more! Bob manages to break the hold and works on Bret’s arms as he locks Bret’s left arm in the ropes and kicks it. McMahon explains this match is no-DQ. Piper asks Bret if he wants to quit, but no dice. Bob teases the Chickinwing, but doesn’t get it. Once again works the arm in the rope and whips Bret into the opposing turnbuckle. Bret stumbles to his knees and Piper asks him if wants to quit! NOOO! Crossface Chickenwing is teased again, but no luck. Armbar take down into a submission by Bob, Bret refuses to quit twice. Bret gets to his knees, but Bob hits him with an elbow to the face and puts him into the lock again. Bret says NONO! Bret powers to his knees again, but Backlund gets him down again. Hart refuses to quit. Bob locks in the arm again, but NO BRET WON’T SUBMIT. He gets to his feet and manages a powerslam on Backlund. Bret in control know, backbreaker on the knee! Bob doesn’t quit. Bret with a double elbow from the middle rope. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter once again, turns Backlund around, but Backlund rolls through and gets to the ropes!
Smart thinking by Bob. Piper breaks the two men up, Bret hammering away on Backlund, throws him into the opposing turnbuckle. Bret tries a spear, but Bob ducks out of the way and Bret goes shoulder first into the ring post. Bret doesn’t quit yet, but Backlund is looking for the Crossface Chickenwing on the injured shoulder. He got him, but Bret has the rope. He holds on for a while, but Bob gets him into the middle of the ring. Backlund can’t quite get the move locked in though and they stay in this stalemate for a short while until BRET REVERSES! BRET REVERSES AND LOCKS IN THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING ON BACKLUND!
Bob tries to fight out of it, refuses to quit. BUT HE GOES DOWN. Still he refuses to quit AND HE SAID YES! YES HE QUIT! BEATEN BY HIS OWN MOVE! Bret Hart celebrates with the crowd as Roddy Piper and Backlund quickly disappear. Bob is with Jim Ross, who asks him for a response. Bob is looking around in amazement, he cannot fathom what just happened. I SAW THE LIGHT! DID YOU SEE THE LIGHT? He yells.
To be continued in part 3 later today...
------
WRESTLEMANIA XI - PART II
Up next, out comes King Kong Bundy with Ted DiBiasi, who has The Undertaker’s urn! We get a flashback from the 1995 Royal Rumble, where King Kong Bundy is facing off with the Undertaker as Paul Bearer guards the urn on the outside, but Irwin R. Schyster comes out and “reposses” the Urn! We go to ringside, where we find from Chicago Bear Neil Anderson to hype the NFL vs. WWF match later on… GONG! GONG! Lights are out, thunder flashes. IT’S THUNDERING! IT’S LIGHTNING! Vince McMahon tells us. 2014 WWE Hall of Famer Paul Bearer comes out, God rest his soul, with The Undertaker in tow.
The referee for this match is Larry Young, a MLB Umpire, officiating his first WWE Match ever. No real explanation why he’s there, but I guess it counts as another celebrity appearance? No clue if this guy is a big deal or not in the US, probably not. Bell is rung and so is King Kong Bundy’s as Undertaker hits an uppercut and does his VINTAGE ROPE WALK, but it only makes Bundy woozy on his feet, as if he’s about to take a Fatality. A few more hits and DOWN GOES BUNDY! Undertaker sets his sights on DiBiasi, who is holding the urn. LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU UNDERTAKER!! King Kong Bundy is back on his feet and lazily clotheslines Taker over the top rope to the outside!
BUT THE UNDERTAKER TAKES THIS OPPORTUNITY TO RETREIVE THE URN FROM DIBIASI!
KING KONG BUNDY CAN’T BELIEVE IT! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! OH THE HUMANITY!! As The Undertaker safely returns The Urn to Paul Bearer’s loving arms…
…Proper tribute is gives as the light pours out of the majestic Urn!
Match continues as Taker takes it to King Kong Bundy. DiBiasi walks up the entranceway and signals KAMA MUSTAFA THE ULTIMATE MACHINE down to the ring, who immediately goes after Paul Bearer and The Urn! He kicks Bearer in the guy and takes The Urn. The Undertaker grabs Kama and tries to drag him into the ring, but DiBiasi holds him down as Bundy attacks Taker. Kama takes The Urn away! Jim Ross catches him near the top of the entrance way and Kama tells us he intends to MELT THE URN DOWN, PUT IT ON A CHAIN AND WEAR IT AROUND HIS NECK, BECAUSE THIS URN IS HIS! IT’S HIS! Who metls down an urn to make jewelry out of it? King tells us IT’S CRAZY! And yes King, yes it is. In the ring Bundy has the upper hand and uses his foot to choke Taker in the corner. The two exchange punches in the middle of ring, Bundy with a Slam and a knee to the face for a 1-count pin! THERE WAS FOURHUNDERDANDFOURTY POUNDS TO THAT KNEE DROP MCMAHON! Bearer is back on his feet as Bundy has Taker in a sleeper hold. He rallies the crowd, and they cheer and clap for Taker. Still in the hold, Taker is slowly losing consciousness, he tries to reach the ropes, but his arms are way too shirt. You can feel his power dissipate, so tells us Vince McMahon. But NO! Taker slowly fights back to his feet and Bundy has no choice but to punch him into the turnbuckle! Bundy whips Taker into the opposing buckle and does a SPLASH! Taker completely no sells it as Bundy celebrates! BOOT TO THE FACE, awfull selling, Taker picks up al 440 pounds of King Kong Bundy and BODYSLAMS HIM! Flying Clothesline!
Classic Taker pin! It’s over, 1-2-3! Taker goes FOUR AND OH at WrestleMania! Camera cuts to a guy dressed up as Taker celebrating as commentary reminds us that although Taker has won, they still haven’t been able to retrieve the urn back.
We cut to the back, Nicholas Turturro is outside of Pamela Anderson’s lockerroom for real this time, but tells us she has left the arena after being distraught from a big disagreement with Shawn Michaels. NFL All-Star Team Member Steve (not yet Mongo) McMichael and his friends walks up to him. He’s looking for “this Kama character” that called him “Cream Puff” and he’s gonna get his “AGAIN tonight babydoll.” One of the other players calls out King Kong Bundy. Another calls out Nikolai Volkoff and the final one calls out Tatanka. I don’t know who any of these people are, aside from Mongo obviously, but they mean to dish out some sweet revenge on the Million Dollar Corporation tonight, it seems.
Turturro walks away, opens a door AND FINDS BOB BACKLUND! Backlund is playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who is wearing a suit and bow tie. Turturro goes to ask a question, but Bob Backlund stands up and yells at him that “THAT’S WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA TODAY, YOU PEOPLE WITH YOUR CAMERA’S, YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOOT ON ANYONE AT ANY TIME!” Turturro makes a quick apology, explaining all he was doing was look for the whereabouts of Pamela Anderson. Backlund throws his arms in the air and asks who Pam is, he never heard of her! JTT quickly takes advantage and checkmates Backlund! Apparently, this is what’s wrong with society today! All these young people taking advantage of the elderly! And they should be showing some respect! He asks JTT who the 34th president is and some other trivia, but JTT gets all the questions right! What a smart kid he is! Backlund blows his lid and storms off!
Back to the ring, where Owen Hart walks down the entrance ramp, it’s time for the tag-team championship match! Owen Hart has a surprise partner, Vince McMahon has no clue who it is, but Jerry Lawler already knows! Owen takes the mic and introduces his partner… A guy who beat his brother Bret for the WWF Championship! IT’S YOKOZUNA! He makes his entrance and we cut to the back, where The Smoking Gunns, Billy and Bart, are standing. Vince asks them if they are as surprised as we are? Billy and Bart are surprised, but Billy tells us there are walking in the champ and are walking out the champ. Billy and Bart make their entrance.
Vince cuts to the French Commentary team, and Lawler makes his classic racists comment, by asking if “those guys parlez vous fried eggs?” Never change King… But please do, it’s 2014 and you still make these kinds of comments. Jesus. Yokozuna gets some heat by waving around the Japanese flag, because BOOOOO DON’T BE PROUD OF YOUR COUNTRY YOKOZUNA! Weak USA-chant erupts. Owen and Billy start us of. They lock up and Billy gets Owen against the ropes. Owen retaliates by a slap to the face, some boos from the crowd, Billy quickly gets revenge and slaps Owen back. King complains that it’s not fair to just slap a man in the face, but Vince disagrees, saying open hand slaps are allowed in competition. Tag to Bart, Billy extends Owen’s arm as Bart goes to the top and jumps down on the arm with his legs spread. Why he doesn’t go down by taking an arm to the nuts? Who knows?
It’s Owen and Bart now, and Owen fights back, pokes Bart’s eye and tags Yokozuna in the ring. Yokozuna tries the elbow drop, but misses! Yokozuna tags Owen back in, Owen quickly loses the advantage as two hip tosses later, Bart is back on the offense. Bart tags Billy back in and they double team on BOTH MEN! Billy and Bart exchange tags and do more double team stuff, Owen gets pinned by Billy for two! Another tag, Bart kicks and punches Owen. They are in full control now. Bart whips Owen into the turnbuckle hard, Owen bounces down for a two-count, another tag and a double team move. Billy goes for the pin, but Yokozuna distracts the referee by entering the ring, so no count. Owen gets a tag and Yokozuna hits a devastating leg drop on Billy!
Eat your heart out Hogan, that’s a devastating leg drop if I ever saw one! No pin attempt as Billy rolls out of the ring. Ref gets distracted by Bart, as Owen picks up Billy and slams him backfirst into the ring post! He throws Billy back into the ring. Yokozuna hits a head butt and Billy is seeing stars. Billy fights back though, headbutts and punches to Yokozuna. Yokozuna gives no fucks and knocks Billy to the mat. Yokozuna pins Billy’s face to the mat with a choke hold, but he does the move to the wrong side, so the hard camera just shows his ass and we can only see Billy’s legs. We cut to a camera that has 50% of the frame taken up by Owen’s leg, so that’s not much better either. Billy withstands the pain, but manages to fight back and get to his feet. Owen goes to the top, attempts a drop kick, but Billy ducks out of the way! He makes it to Bart for the tag. Bart goes after Owen, picks him up and as McMahon has been stating all night…
“WHAT A SLAM!” What a slam indeed, I’ve never seen anyone drop another wrestler this lazily. He goes after Yokozuna and tosses him into the mat with the back of the head by grabbing Yokozuna’s pony tail. “WHAT A MANEUVER” says Vince as King explains it was a “blatant hair pull and illegal” and it was right in front of the ref too, he saw the whole thing and didn’t even give Bart a warning! It wasn’t even Black Divas Ref either! Tag to Billy, both men go for the ropes, but Owen quickly grabs the ropes Bart wants to bounce on and he goes tumbling off to ringside as Yokozuna Belly to Belly Suplexes Billy to the mat
Again Yokozuna refuses to go for the pin and instead drags Billy to the turnbuckle. This man knows no boundaries. Yokozuna goes to the middle rope and BONZAI DROP to Billy. Bart runs in and breaks the pin, Yokozuna throws him out of the ring and makes the tag to Owen. Owen drags Billy to the middle of the ring, teases going for the sharpshooter, but realizes Billy is already dead and pins him instead, ONE, TWO AND THREE! NEW TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS!! King is very excited by the heels picking up the win.
A blip has entered the arena, and there is a camera in there! We can see shots from all the way at the top. Looks like shit. We cut to the back, where Todd Pettengill has Bam Bam Bigelow, who is in the main event tonight against Lawrence Taylor. We flashback to the Royal Rumble, where Bam Bigelow shoved Lawrence Taylor at ringside, setting this whole thing in motion. We cut to a flashback from a few days ago, at the Pre-WrestleMania Workout on “WWF Times Square” we see Bam Bam Bigelow once again try and attack Taylor, who now fights back and a big brawl ensues!
Bam Bam explains Taylor disrespected him and he won’t stand for that. It’s Sunday night, it’s WrestleMania Sunday and he’s taking LT down! Todd asks if Bam Bam has any psychologic issues with the fans being firmly behind LT in this match. Bam Bam Bigelow promises he is not going to be known as the guy who lost against Lawrence Taylor at WrestleMania. This is his world and not LT’s. Todd goes on to explain how there’s friends of LT’s all over the arena, in the crowd at ringside, in the back, everywhere! The Million Dollar Corporation will be there too! Is Bam Bam worried at all that confrontation happening tonight? Bam Bam has the biggest and baddest crew behind him and DiBiasi will take care of any people trying to get involved. Bam Bam promises Lawrence Taylor will go down for the 1-2-3 tonight.
Back at ringside, King and Vince discuss what Bigelow has said and they cut to the Fink in the ring, who explains the rules of the next match, a submission match in which the loser of the match will verify his submission by saying the words… “I QUIT!” on the microphone. We get a special guest referee. IT’S ROWDY RODDY PIPER! The crowd pops as Roddy makes his entrance. Fink introduces Bob Backlund first, who makes his entrance to no music, as always. Bob complains and moans all the way to the ring. His opponent for tonight is Bret Hart. It’s Chickenwing versus Sharpshooter! Who will come out on top?! The men lock up and Bret takes control with some punches early on, he whips Backlund into the ring posts and sends him bouncing. Backlund is overpowered and Bret already goes for the Sharpshooter, but fails to get it locked in. Piper asks Bob if he wants to quit, but Bob just slaps the mic out of the way. Bret goes for a submission in the ropes.
Piper asks if Backlund wants to quit, but Bob yells NO! Attaguy, Backlund! Bret goes to the outside and throws some punches before putting Backlund back in the ring. Piper again asks Bob, but no dice. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter again, but Bob manages to escape before he locks it in again. Bret puts Bob into a figure-four leglock. Piper asks Bob if he quits, Bob yells NO and turns the move around, Bob asks Brett if he wants to quit, no! As the guys break the hold, Vince shows us a Picture-in-picture of the German commentary team, providing a blast to the past for me as these guys were the commentary team young Aiii listened to via satellite back in the day. I cry a few tears while King tells me these guys have great faces for radio. Bret puts Bob in a leglock and Bob refuses to quit. Backlund pushes Bretts chin back and manages to break the hold. Bret works on Backlunds knee and puts him back in the lock. Piper repeats the question, Bob refuses to quit once more! Bob manages to break the hold and works on Bret’s arms as he locks Bret’s left arm in the ropes and kicks it. McMahon explains this match is no-DQ. Piper asks Bret if he wants to quit, but no dice. Bob teases the Chickinwing, but doesn’t get it. Once again works the arm in the rope and whips Bret into the opposing turnbuckle. Bret stumbles to his knees and Piper asks him if wants to quit! NOOO! Crossface Chickenwing is teased again, but no luck. Armbar take down into a submission by Bob, Bret refuses to quit twice. Bret gets to his knees, but Bob hits him with an elbow to the face and puts him into the lock again. Bret says NONO! Bret powers to his knees again, but Backlund gets him down again. Hart refuses to quit. Bob locks in the arm again, but NO BRET WON’T SUBMIT. He gets to his feet and manages a powerslam on Backlund. Bret in control know, backbreaker on the knee! Bob doesn’t quit. Bret with a double elbow from the middle rope. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter once again, turns Backlund around, but Backlund rolls through and gets to the ropes!
Smart thinking by Bob. Piper breaks the two men up, Bret hammering away on Backlund, throws him into the opposing turnbuckle. Bret tries a spear, but Bob ducks out of the way and Bret goes shoulder first into the ring post. Bret doesn’t quit yet, but Backlund is looking for the Crossface Chickenwing on the injured shoulder. He got him, but Bret has the rope. He holds on for a while, but Bob gets him into the middle of the ring. Backlund can’t quite get the move locked in though and they stay in this stalemate for a short while until BRET REVERSES! BRET REVERSES AND LOCKS IN THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING ON BACKLUND!
Bob tries to fight out of it, refuses to quit. BUT HE GOES DOWN. Still he refuses to quit AND HE SAID YES! YES HE QUIT! BEATEN BY HIS OWN MOVE! Bret Hart celebrates with the crowd as Roddy Piper and Backlund quickly disappear. Bob is with Jim Ross, who asks him for a response. Bob is looking around in amazement, he cannot fathom what just happened. I SAW THE LIGHT! DID YOU SEE THE LIGHT? He yells.
To be continued in part 3 later today...
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