May Wrasslin' |BO-T| It's hard for a post to become a thread

I like to think that the WWE is saving a Cabela's catalog perusing, Marboro Miles saving, NASCAR cheering, Walmart grocery shopping, good ol' boy gimmick for a rainy day. Anyone fitting of that gift is taking is all the way to the WWE title.
 
The Ascension are a lot like Sunflower's post history. You know...

"Ready for prime time"
"Full of majesty"
"powerful"
"moving"
"exhilarating"
"scary"

I can go on if you need more
 

You can do better than that, Beef the Hedgehog
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Oh god now attacking my post history! I'm flawless and clean, brother!

I work hard to enhance all aspects of NeoGAF! I swear it!



Should be. Sad you won't be liveposting it like some of the rest of us. I'm glad to rest from moving today and watch it.

Gotta do some last minute shopping for Mother's Day. Go mom!
 
Weren't you complaining about cartoony 80s gimmicks 20 minutes ago?

Yeah, but I feel like today's crop of lady wrestlers require cartoony 80s-style gimmicks because none of them actually have any personality to distinguish themselves otherwise.
 
You're more wrong about the Ascension than you are about Bateaster in 2014.

More?

I know I'm fighting a losing fight with Baptista, but I still have faith that I'll hit that 20% possibility he'll return to being fantastic. I'm betting against the odds, and it's a foolish bet, but I don't betray Big Dave.

Ascension on the other hand, well, I'll just watch it go. I have more faith in them.
 
Yeah, but I feel like today's crop of lady wrestlers require cartoony 80s-style gimmicks because none of them actually have any personality to distinguish themselves otherwise.

There's truth to this, but it's also kind of why some of those NXT dudes have the gimmicks they have.
 
Tyler Breeze is ready for the main roster too. Gimmick and talent are on point.
 
Ascension is like TWO 2014 Bateaster Bunny Bombs teaming together. They are garbage.



A few favorite wrestlingisms: All chairs are STEEL chairs, even when molded plastic or massively padded. All chair shots are to the BACK OF THE HEAD, even when it was clearly in the shoulder blades or lower.
 
I'll be honest, Vince. At first glance Ascension look Droz, possibly Headbanger Mosh tier at best.

Hopefully you can see their current entrance, they have physical charisma.

Headbangers were so horrible. Just gross dudes wearing things that managed to make them look even more gross. Remember those Madonna bras they wore? Fucking why?
 
I'd wager that even if it turns out they are crap in the ring, they have enough charisma to make the current tag team division more entertaining. Think of The Ascension vs Ryback and his friend where they try to outsquash each other until Ryback's friend gets injuried and he starts to pair with Rusev.

Now we have 4 dudes in the ring just being strong.
 
If I had to choose one tag team to be on RAW next week and the choice was the Headbangers(current, not in their "prime") or The Ascension I would pick the Headbangers every time
 
They have no charisma. They can't wrestle. Until the crowed starting YAH'ing to save themselves from dying of boredom during their constant squashes they got absolutely no reactions whatsoever.
 
By the way if you've ever given the choice on what sort of chair someone hits you with, you want it to be the classic steel folding chairs. Padded chairs hurt more on a back bump.
 
Ascension is like TWO 2014 Bateaster Bunny Bombs teaming together. They are garbage.



A few favorite wrestlingisms: All chairs are STEEL chairs, even when molded plastic or massively padded. All chair shots are to the BACK OF THE HEAD, even when it was clearly in the shoulder blades or lower.

One summer my friends and I did the whole backyard trampoline wrestling thing and we covered pizza boxes in duct tape and called them steel pizza boxes.

We got so many chicks. >_>

And I've seen the Ascension once. Unimpressed.
 
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Thank you, SoulPlayer.
 
HHH is great on the after show stuff. He's in the ring with Kane/Rock/Taker and is trying to apologize for all the bad things he's done to them. Then he apologizes to the jackoff fans. And one in particular jackoff who thinks he's cool because he wears his hat backwards like HHH's. And he's sorry for his girlfriend 'cuz she's got no boobs.

And then he tells the fans this is a SHOOT that he's trying to apologize here and tells the fans to shut up because they are confusing the Rock.


OH SHIT it's from the same thing Soul just had gifs of. Taker saying POONTANG in the Undertaker voice was great.
 
I just wanna chime in and say I would be ALL OVER a Tuesday Night Titans reboot. But they gotta air the old ones too. Vince hosting was like watching a college freshmen doing their video production final. It was great.
 
I don't get what is to hate on the Ascension, they look cool and they can wrestle all right from what I've seen.

What are they supposed to be? Vampires? Metal fans? They look stupid, grunt and have a poor high low substitute as a finisher. Am I supposed to be impressed when they vibrate and roar and then barely beat a massively over the hill 2 Cool or squash jobbers?
 
I just have to say that I'm watching Goldust vs Crush at KOTR 1997 and that 16 years later he looks younger and fitter blows me away. That DDP yoga is magic.

Worse fake laugh... McMahon on commentary or Lawler?
 
What are they supposed to be? Vampires? Metal fans? They look stupid, grunt and have a poor high low substitute as a finisher. Am I supposed to be impressed when they vibrate and roar and then barely beat a massively over the hill 2 Cool or squash jobbers?

Vampires are never cool outside their 18th romantic origins when they were about people who died as virgins coming back to fulfill that need in the afterlife, so that can't be it.

They are kind of lame-ish like Metal fans, but not so lame that you would see them at an actual show marking out to grown dudes screaming about dragons.

So I guess that's it, they are big dudes, who grunt, squash jobbers with a high low finisher and then act as if they just did something awesome. Which is cool.
 
I just have to say that I'm watching Goldust vs Crush at KOTR 1997 and that 16 years later he looks younger and fitter blows me away. That DDP yoga is magic.

Worse fake laugh... McMahon on commentary or Lawler?

Vince. Wrestlemania XI had a major production botch where they cut to "Pamela Anderson" but it ended up not being her, and the audio wasn't working. They then cut back to the arena and Jerry makes a joke about it not being Pam. Vince goes "AH HAHAHAHAHAHA" and you could just tell he wanted to fucking punch Lawler so goddamn hard.

The ascension: This decade's Kronik.
 
Vampires are never cool outside their 18th romantic origins when they were about people who died as virgins coming back to fulfill that need in the afterlife, so that can't be it.

They are kind of lame-ish like Metal fans, but not so lame that you would see them at an actual show marking out to grown dudes screaming about dragons.

So I guess that's it, they are big dudes, who grunt, squash jobbers with a high low finisher and then act as if they just did something awesome. Which is cool.

Their high low finisher is poor compared to others though. The best high lows send people spiraling through the air,

This LOD and Sycho Sid promo is hilarious. It's like they are trying to out yell each other. I love Sid and I'm not even joking.

See? That moment in the gif is amazing. Sid is gold.
 
So I started watching Starcade '83 on the network and man I think I'm too young to appreciate older wrestling. I'd ike to see all the old PPVs in order to get my wrestling history fix but it's all pretty bad. Currently watching Starcade '84 and Ricky Steamboat is neat. I also have always loved the way Dusty talks. Overall the wrestling is not entertaining and everyone just looks hocky except Flair which is timeless.
 
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