GaijinZero
Member
I had no idea withdrawal could be a problem. Why would my doctor prescribe it if withdrawal has the potential of exasperating the effects its trying to control. What I've just read is truly terrifying.
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Mental Health |OT2| - Light in the Darkness
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I had no idea withdrawal could be a problem. Why would my doctor prescribe it if withdrawal has the potential of exasperating the effects its trying to control. What I've just read is truly terrifying.
Astral Dog
Member
Though you can try opening more,she doesn't sound like a keeper. I m not sure you should stand someone that judges you (or anyone) that way,regardless of your depression do you really want someone that talks like that to you in your life?
I wish you could have started this year happier your therapist sounds an asshole poor Duke 😢
Wish you can find something a bit better on this world to appreciate its beauty once more despite how little there appears to be sometimes
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
I take Duloxetine and withdrawal would be a bitch. I don't know if any of these drugs don't have these serious withdrawal side effects.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
All the anti-depressants do, to varying degrees. Duloxetine is one of the worst because it's an SNRI.
I partially hid it from her. I told her about my social anxiety, but not my depression. She seemed hesitant at first which is normal, but continued to see me anyway. If I had told her, then she may have been okay with that too and understood my actions/situation better.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that hiding it may be the reason why this isn't working and it seems like you have nothing to lose by putting your cards on the table and seeing how she reacts. I'm far from an expert on this though so please take my advice with a grain of salt.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
Seriously... it layers on top of my already binary view of the future and makes me feel worse every instance my brain decides to bring it up (which is often).
My past self royally fucked my current self, in so many ways, and my current self is currently fucking over my future self.
pigeon interrupted
Member
To the bolded:
I disagree with my therapist too, several gaffers have a partial manuscript of my novel they all tell me it could be one of the most important science fiction works of the decade. I just have to finish it. Which I am slowly doing in advance of the March Release this year. I am publishing on Amazon Kindle service, it's funny you mention the selfpublishing through there.
It's a lovecraftian science fiction existential cyberpunk horror detective novel. There is a thread on here for it too, The Tartarus Syndrome.
As for your father I'm sorry, my dad is the exact same way and its scary. My neighbors too.
It's like I'm living in a bad fever dream.
Sounds awesome. Those are/were pretty much the genres I envisioned myself working in. I still love The Sprawl Trilogy and more recently stuff like Neal Stephenson's work. I have most of Lovecraft's work, too. You must be really proud for getting this far and with favourable criticism. I'm definitely down for a copy once it's published, and hopefully I can bring myself to read it, haha.
Intriguing title: I've recently geeked out on everything Greek. I've recently completed courses on Classical Mythology, Greek Civilization, Alexander the Great, and The Hellenistic Age. So, I'll be watching for references and parallels, lol ;D
HashtagLapsed
Member
If folks haven't watched this, I feel like it is a good talk on depression (but if you are heavily depressed, some aspects may be a trigger).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBUcBfkVCo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBUcBfkVCo
wowbaggerBR
Member
I just wanted to thank you all. I've been reading this thread for a while now because I had a hiddeous break-up with someone a love deeply and maturely and was feeling pretty miserable. Coming here again and again made me seek for a professional help and, just some few sessions in, and I'm feeling better, facing things I didn't even realized I had with me, stuff that is creating some problems and shadowing others.
Thank you all very much.
Thank you all very much.
Sectorseven
Member
To be fair, can you understand why your situation might make someone hesitant of long term commitment? Most people aren't looking to take on someone elses burdens or the possibility of having to financially support them, at least not from the get go.
That being said, if you tell her, make it clear that it doesn't define you and that you're actively working to overcome it. Demonstrate the progress you've made and your recovery strategy.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
I like that I'm the only non-couple person here at the theater.
Even better, it's about depression and grief! I'm sure I'll feel good by the end!
Even better, it's about depression and grief! I'm sure I'll feel good by the end!
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
No need. It's over. I actually feel like a great weight has been lifted .
I'm sorry to hear that you two broke up but glad that you're more or less okay with it. I think you can do better.
Well, tonight was horrible. I'm a student and work part-time in a bar as a supervisor: I'm good at the job, I'm your clichéd cocksure flirty bartender, have a good laugh with my workmates whilst I'm working and so on. But tonight, three hours into my shift, out of nowhere after being myself all night, I had my first real anxiety attack. I didn't really understand what was happening at first, and then suddenly I wasn't making sense of what people were saying to me, nearly jumped out of my skin when a colleague touched my shoulder. Then suddenly I was shaking, breathing heavily, dizzy.
My doctor upped my Sertraline dosage from 50mg to 100mg a couple of days ago, so maybe that triggered it? Regardless the whole thing was very embarrassing, basically had to tell the girl who was supervising the shift with me what was happening to me and explain to her why before going home. I don't like people to know about my mental health problems at all so not great, really. Also not good since I'm in a managerial position here and I worry tonight made me look not up to the job.
Back home now and I've mostly calmed down, but the whole thing has freaked me out. Hopefully it was just a result of my medication dosage going up and not the start of a recurring thing; I'm used to anxiety, but never full blown panic attacks.
My doctor upped my Sertraline dosage from 50mg to 100mg a couple of days ago, so maybe that triggered it? Regardless the whole thing was very embarrassing, basically had to tell the girl who was supervising the shift with me what was happening to me and explain to her why before going home. I don't like people to know about my mental health problems at all so not great, really. Also not good since I'm in a managerial position here and I worry tonight made me look not up to the job.
Back home now and I've mostly calmed down, but the whole thing has freaked me out. Hopefully it was just a result of my medication dosage going up and not the start of a recurring thing; I'm used to anxiety, but never full blown panic attacks.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
It could have just been your body adjusting. I'm sometimes paranoid that people will know what's really going on with me but they don't. Just brush it off and continue to be the manager you know you are. As long as you didn't like break down in front of everyone you're good.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
It's over, Sector. Don't think she was worth sharing that with anyway. I actually feel pretty good about it. She was stressing me out.
OfficerRaichu15
Member
Stay strong everyone.
Hope is always there
There is always a light
Hope everyone has a good 2017.
Hope is always there
There is always a light
Hope everyone has a good 2017.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
yeah, I actually enjoy when that happens too. I feel like one defiant shout against a world that's constantly screaming at us to pair up in search of fulfillment.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
I was being sarcastic, although I should adopt your mindset. I would probably feel better.
Pamplemousse
Member
I wish I had a talent like jb or Duke. I have nothing to give others. The thought of life being meaningless is a little unsettling to me, but I can't find the meaning in this.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
I'll try. Thanks for taking me seriously, sphinx. My brain is so broken and l can't even comprehend if I can fix it. I cry every night because I'll never be the carefree person I was, and now my eyes are open free from addiction, I realize I didn't even like that person; I would hate to be like them again, BUT at least they didn't have this trauma.
PTSD association makes so many things I previously enjoyed feel tainted and empty, even threatening. I wake many times kicking out at nightmares--I sleep in the hallway because I'm afraid to sleep in my room alone. I'm so screwed... I think I need some councillling. The NHS gave me next to no support and my dr isn't much use, but i will try to talk to her.
Meanwhile, I've dusted off my DSi and Advance Wars Dual Strike and a few others. No radio news, no bad threads, no newspaper, no bad vibes. All I have now is Nintendo. Thank God they kept making fun games. Thank you for the advice, sweetie.
Yeah, if God is watching he/she is either laughing hysterically or giving us the collective the stink eye. This place is a circus and inertia isn't slowing. My own father's lurch to the right continues. I tried to draw the dots between daily mail hatred, labelling elected officials as "Enemies of The People", outing one of said officials as gay and the assassination of Jo Cox, immigration hysteria, and targeted mob violence. He laughed a laugh like somebody watching something mildly amusing on the TV. People like my father won't stop laughing that little complacent laugh until it reaches the front door. I love him but he needs to wake up and stop joining in the hate parade. I give up. Again, ha.
I disagree with you therapist, the world always needs more books. If you get a servicable manuscript together, that'd be a great feeling of achievement and you could even self-publish on Amazon. I'll buy a copy. I'm an aspiring writer myself but I've lost my confidence and more, lol. Hope your situation improves, babe.it's not horror is it?
What the fuck is wrong with your therapist? Maybe he/she is a failed writer. Don't tell 'em anything about your story! I'm actually very interested. Keep us updated on that project.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
Well, maybe instead of finding a talent (an overused word) try to find something you'd like to get good at and work at it. Learn a new language, crosswords, etc. It doesn't have to be a big feat. Start small.
Besides my mother breaking her hip and having it replaced things in my life have been on the uptick still. I just made employee of the month at work which I never thought would be something I could do because how mediocre at the job I was for the first 7 months of it. I've made a steady climb to being a top agent at work and I couldn't be happier atm. Well it's not to say I haven't had any down moments as of late but I just haven't let them derail me like I would in the past.
Every single person in this thread has the ability to change for the better and best their demons. Sure it won't be an easy thing to do there will most assuredly be road bumps along the way. Though when you reach a level place in your life because of your hard work you'll feel so relieved and accomplished at what you've done. Keep up the good fight in this new year!
Every single person in this thread has the ability to change for the better and best their demons. Sure it won't be an easy thing to do there will most assuredly be road bumps along the way. Though when you reach a level place in your life because of your hard work you'll feel so relieved and accomplished at what you've done. Keep up the good fight in this new year!
pigeon interrupted
Member
Was it the new Transformers movie?
At least you're going out, Puck. You might meet someone <3
I know, right. You're not the only one. I swear you need a second brain to play piano well. And while I can read good fiction, I can't write it. So unfair. Last year I bought a pile of arts and crafts gear. I still have that pile.
Welcome back, btw. I thought you caught a permaban from the missing avatar.
Trust me, I definitely don't have that.
pigeon interrupted
Member
Well, I can't do it with my one, so still suspicious... Are you a math genius? The few players I know are all super brainy. Although, I can play My Immortal by Evanescence with same speed and accuracy as a family of slugs lost on a keyboard. Maybe there's hope for me?
I got an E in math in high school 
Well, I can't do it with my one, so still suspicious... Are you a math genius? The few players I know are all super brainy. Although, I can play My Immortal by Evanescence with same speed and accuracy as a family of slugs lost on a keyboard. Maybe there's hope for me?I got an E in math in high school
Nope, terrible at math. Barely made it through high school courses and deliberately went to a college that didn't offer (or require) them.
I'm really good at rhythm, though which follows similar procedures.pigeon interrupted
Member
Nope, terrible at math. Barely made it through high school courses and deliberately went to a college that didn't offer (or require) them.
Well, that makes me feel slightly better. Not your similarly poor high school grades, but that there's is still hope for me. I love piano music--like magic to my ears. I have almost perfected sitting behind the keyboard and giving those confident glances and winks to my make-believe audience. Still some way to go.
Klaymator14
Member
Sorry if this is the wrong place to put this... wasn't sure if I should make a new thread about it
I have a friend who plays Heroes of the Storm competitively, and he recently sent me a message regarding a team member of his who they are all worried about, anyone here know what course of action they should take here?
"So a member of my team is like, an extremely good player, but tl;dr he gets like legit depressed over his relationships with girls. like suicidal depressed. (we know this because we've talked to one of his friends that has known him for a very long time) and it dramatically affects him in-game to where he won't even respond to us during practice and will ignore us for a few days at a time saying "everything's fine" when it's obviously not. That's like, the last thing you want in a team environment because it effects everyone, right? We've talked internally with everyone and the simple solution would be to kick him off the team and find someone else. But there's the big worry that because Heroes is (from his perspective) all he's got going for him right now, he'd probably end up doing something to himself. And according to his real life friend, a therapist is out of the picture because $$$"
He's living in Canada, and I'm not really sure how their healthcare works out there, I assumed that those services was covered by their healthcare act
i'm in the US, and i want to help this poor guy out, if anyone thinks I should make a thread, let me know, thanks everyone
I have a friend who plays Heroes of the Storm competitively, and he recently sent me a message regarding a team member of his who they are all worried about, anyone here know what course of action they should take here?
"So a member of my team is like, an extremely good player, but tl;dr he gets like legit depressed over his relationships with girls. like suicidal depressed. (we know this because we've talked to one of his friends that has known him for a very long time) and it dramatically affects him in-game to where he won't even respond to us during practice and will ignore us for a few days at a time saying "everything's fine" when it's obviously not. That's like, the last thing you want in a team environment because it effects everyone, right? We've talked internally with everyone and the simple solution would be to kick him off the team and find someone else. But there's the big worry that because Heroes is (from his perspective) all he's got going for him right now, he'd probably end up doing something to himself. And according to his real life friend, a therapist is out of the picture because $$$"
He's living in Canada, and I'm not really sure how their healthcare works out there, I assumed that those services was covered by their healthcare act
i'm in the US, and i want to help this poor guy out, if anyone thinks I should make a thread, let me know, thanks everyone
It's really all about practice. By college, I was practicing four hours a day. Obviously, that's quite a bit and only needed if you want to be a professional but even just an hour a day does wonders.
Same with me. I think that when i come back from Japan this year I should just end my life. No more rejections, failures, no more being my horrible self.
How About No
Member
Do you travel a lot? Something I wish I would do instead of being stuck in the Midwest, but I could never justify the cost or time spent. Europe...Ireland...or maybe even just see real saltwater for once lolz
Just wanna say...hope you had a good time...and I hope you can remember those good times for decades to come <3
You're not horrible in any sense of the word. You don't have to be happy 100 percent of the time and really no one is it's just impossible to be happy 24/7. Being in a relationship won't be a quick fix relationships take time and can sometimes be a little hard. Focus on yourself neo first for now be a little selfish and buckle down and work on some stuff buddy. I really wish you the best you deserve to be happy but it will require work and you can do it it's not pointless because you matter to every one in here and those around you even if you don't think so. Don't do it for us though do it for you.
Actually I'm going because of a friend of mine is coming with me and i know if i end it now he wont go. So there's that.
I think i focused o myself long enough, everyone around me now are married or have families and here i am old and alone. am i suppose to be this way until 50? 60? 90? if so i rather just end it now.
Doesn't help but ive been watching a lot of gay and straight love dramas. Tired of knowing i am repugnant to everyone. tired of running into gay couples. Least in death i can not exist anymore.
How About No
Member
Aren't you younger than me?
You make it clear you have people that care for you, they care enough about you to want to travel across the world with you
Pamplemousse
Member
I understand this so much. I remember going grocery shopping last month and seeing this gay couple. I never had a chance at that. Everytime I look in the mirror, I'm filled with such sadness at my reflection, and that's just the outside. Inside, I'm even worse, a total weirdo basket case. With the holidays out of the way, I no longer have any reason to not end it. I'm tired of it.
TangerineCloud
Banned
Starting off the year with a break-up. It was amicable, but it still hurts like shit. I'm not devastated, but it feels like time is moving more slowly. My mind keeps jumping to all the things I won't be able to do with her anymore. Maybe it's because it's so fresh, but video games and anime aren't really doing anything to numb the pain right now. Feels bad, man.
This was my first girlfriend and the only close, genuine connection I've made with someone since my life was turned upside down by depression and social anxiety. Even though we had our issues, our relationship meant so much to me and did a lot for my mood and mental health. I worry how things will turn out now that she's gone.I'm just gonna try my best to... move on or something. :c
Actually, to end on a more positive note, I'm going to double my efforts to get out of my head and make friends and be personable this semester. I'm still pretty awkward and anxious, but I made some really good strides in terms of being sociable during the fall semester, and I'll do my best to one-up those efforts over the next four months!!
This was my first girlfriend and the only close, genuine connection I've made with someone since my life was turned upside down by depression and social anxiety. Even though we had our issues, our relationship meant so much to me and did a lot for my mood and mental health. I worry how things will turn out now that she's gone.
Actually, to end on a more positive note, I'm going to double my efforts to get out of my head and make friends and be personable this semester. I'm still pretty awkward and anxious, but I made some really good strides in terms of being sociable during the fall semester, and I'll do my best to one-up those efforts over the next four months!!
My friend has his own boyfriend to go home to, i dont have anyone or anything.
Pretty much my case too. Having so many health issues, old, fat, ugly, everything that no one wants and this is the life i have to live? im tired of hoping. My younger self hoped and hoped and now look where i am. I hope when i die i can finally shed this body, identity, persona and become nothingness. no feelings, no sadness, no happiness no nothing at all. I used to want a painless death but i want this awful body to feel the pain it has inflicted on me all these years. if i dont die i'll become a bitter lonely old man who has no one. i'll finally be that old gay guy at the end of bar everyone ignores. There are born winners and born losers and i have accepted i am a born loser, i just want to be able to die thats my main goal now.
I was doing better over the holidays, but my mood has dropped like a rock recently. It must be the return to normalcy (or what normal is for me now). I didnt get out of bed yesterday. First time I've done that in a month.
I start volunteering tomorrow so maybe that will help, and I had a recruiter contact me about a job. Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.
Friendly reminder to keep fighting. I know years of no results can make you lose all hope, but it only takes one thing going right to turn it all around.
I start volunteering tomorrow so maybe that will help, and I had a recruiter contact me about a job. Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.
Friendly reminder to keep fighting. I know years of no results can make you lose all hope, but it only takes one thing going right to turn it all around.
I need to have more sex this year. This is not a humblebrag, but I should have no problem getting laid physically. I feel like I'm wasting my youth because I have ridiculously low confidence, and I just want to get it in as much as I can before I inevitably eat myself to ugliness. I am just too impulsive. But maybe I'm being too hard on myself because last year I was recovering from a very explosive and awful breakup.
I also have completely given up on the NHS mental health system and self-medicate with alcohol and the like. I've been good at giving myself breaks, but it's gone on for way too long now. I go to therapy. I don't want to go to AA or anything because alcohol is not the problem. If it's not alcohol, it will be something else. I want to find a support group that focuses on intimacy...I listen to The Mental Illness Happy Hour and I think that would work for me. I've been quite reckless recently which I talk to my therapist about (it's psychoanalysis so they don't tell me what to do). It's the 'human connection' thing that I'm terrible at.
Lately I've actually been quite happy recently. But non-substance-induced happiness always feels like a 'high' for me where I get hyper and over optimistic and idealistic and I inevitably crash (I do have ADHD, btw. Not bipolar).
Also can I recommend another podcast? I'm listening to A Fear Based Life on the Feral Audio network. I love this episode. These women totally get it http://www.feralaudio.com/25-fear-whales-falling-asleep-erin-mcgathy/
And yes, the guest is Dan Harmon's ex-wife. I actually like her podcast better than Harmontown.
I also have completely given up on the NHS mental health system and self-medicate with alcohol and the like. I've been good at giving myself breaks, but it's gone on for way too long now. I go to therapy. I don't want to go to AA or anything because alcohol is not the problem. If it's not alcohol, it will be something else. I want to find a support group that focuses on intimacy...I listen to The Mental Illness Happy Hour and I think that would work for me. I've been quite reckless recently which I talk to my therapist about (it's psychoanalysis so they don't tell me what to do). It's the 'human connection' thing that I'm terrible at.
Lately I've actually been quite happy recently. But non-substance-induced happiness always feels like a 'high' for me where I get hyper and over optimistic and idealistic and I inevitably crash (I do have ADHD, btw. Not bipolar).
Also can I recommend another podcast? I'm listening to A Fear Based Life on the Feral Audio network. I love this episode. These women totally get it http://www.feralaudio.com/25-fear-whales-falling-asleep-erin-mcgathy/
And yes, the guest is Dan Harmon's ex-wife. I actually like her podcast better than Harmontown.
It's actually rather poetic or I guess ironic/sad that I spent so many years not wanting to owe anyone any money and being stubborn, yet here I am legitimately broke and all of my hopes fall upon signing on enough student loans to keep me afloat through the college that I applied for right before Christmas. There is no reason any of this should have worked in my favor, but it somehow is. God help me.
pigeon interrupted
Member
Last summer I started on 20mg of citalopram. My sex drive was affected straight away: little to no sexual impulses and shifted sensitivity curve. Even if I felt slight sexual urges, the sensitivity wasn't there where it used to be. I wasn't in a relationship and so it didn't bother me immediately. I contemplated lots, pretended I was the Buddha for fun. Then I became bothered by the disconnect.
So I decided to try to push passed the 'sexwall' (not innuendo) on a regular basis and train myself to use those parts of my mind and body again. Eventually my sex drive recovered to a degree but more importantly my sensitivity with relation to thought and stimulation returned, somewhat. I think a good imagination or/and an understanding partner would help. Also, I'm on 10mg now and feel a little friskier. The reduced dosage help a little bit, imho.
It's so weird how SSRIs work
It was a while ago but I seem to recall there being some side effects at the beginning (reduced sex drive) but that went away relatively quickly, within weeks.
HashtagLapsed
Member
I hope very much that it works out well for you. Psychodynamic therapy can be extremely powerful, it is just a matter of sticking with it
If you have any troubles or need to get anything off your chest about how you feel after going through some session, please feel free to shoot me a PM.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
Are you in a relationship?
Had a retail job that I had to leave after awhile because of my anxiety.
Now that I'm out of school and can't find work, I fear I'll have to go back. I'm going to be miserable.
Really hope things improve for you and your wife. It's great that she has someone who is understanding and can help her get through this.
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