_illmatic_
Member
Thanks for the feedback. I'll continue to encourage him to seek help. In the interim would listening to his concerns help with his issues some? Allowing him to confide in someone?
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Mental Health |OT2| - Light in the Darkness
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Thanks for the feedback. I'll continue to encourage him to seek help. In the interim would listening to his concerns help with his issues some? Allowing him to confide in someone?
I am so fucking tired of this roller coaster of emotions I've been going through lately it's so draining. Feel like I am being ignored by one of the more important people in my life which isn't helping either. Been on and off crying throughout the day because of loneliness and isolation. I just really could use a hug or some form of physical contact right now to bring me back down to a rational level.
For context: I am a salaried graduate student.
I've been trying to decide if I have depression or am just a really lazy piece of shit. For almost a year, my unwillingness to get to work has been at its peak. Pretty much all my life, I've had periodic flashes of self-loathing. Typically, something will remind me of something else that I've done in the past that I really regret. Whatever it happens to be, I hate myself for doing it. This feeling prevents me from really concentrating. My heart rate feels like it speeds up, I hold my breath, and essentially just ask myself "why am I a piece of shit" or wish that I was dead. It's been getting pretty frequent these days, happening probably once every hour or so, and prevent me from sleeping.
My rather poor work ethic has been an increasing focus for it, and so I think that maybe if I just finally knuckle down and be productive, I'll get over it. I have periods on the order of a few days, where I feel motivated, but me regretting my life will keep me up until like 4 or 5 am. So, I end up sleeping in and that just snowballs rapidly to not doing anything productive for a week or so. Moreover, these periods of laziness have inertia to them. Where the idea of suddenly reappearing to my advisors after a week long absence (of accomplishing nothing) is incredibly shameful, and I'm often not brave enough to do it and then that one week absence becomes two.
the fact that this situation has been persistent/worsening for nearly a year makes me think I should stop expecting the situation to get better and just do something different. But, I feel like it would just be throwing everything away, and whenever I think to long about it, I just feel like crying about it. Not really sure what to do. Hope this was the right place to post this.
I've been trying to decide if I have depression or am just a really lazy piece of shit. For almost a year, my unwillingness to get to work has been at its peak. Pretty much all my life, I've had periodic flashes of self-loathing. Typically, something will remind me of something else that I've done in the past that I really regret. Whatever it happens to be, I hate myself for doing it. This feeling prevents me from really concentrating. My heart rate feels like it speeds up, I hold my breath, and essentially just ask myself "why am I a piece of shit" or wish that I was dead. It's been getting pretty frequent these days, happening probably once every hour or so, and prevent me from sleeping.
My rather poor work ethic has been an increasing focus for it, and so I think that maybe if I just finally knuckle down and be productive, I'll get over it. I have periods on the order of a few days, where I feel motivated, but me regretting my life will keep me up until like 4 or 5 am. So, I end up sleeping in and that just snowballs rapidly to not doing anything productive for a week or so. Moreover, these periods of laziness have inertia to them. Where the idea of suddenly reappearing to my advisors after a week long absence (of accomplishing nothing) is incredibly shameful, and I'm often not brave enough to do it and then that one week absence becomes two.
the fact that this situation has been persistent/worsening for nearly a year makes me think I should stop expecting the situation to get better and just do something different. But, I feel like it would just be throwing everything away, and whenever I think to long about it, I just feel like crying about it. Not really sure what to do. Hope this was the right place to post this.
J_Macgrady
Member
I was in a similar situation a year ago after I graduated and I just reached a point where I stopped letting any external thing define my self worth. There's not one job, school, company, goal, etc that's worth me thinking less of myself. Please don't look at the stuff you accomplished at school in a negative way at all and be kinder towards yourself.
Do you have access to student healthcare services at your institution? I'd make an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist if you can. Make sure to describe your symptoms and the length of time you've been experiencing them. With what you have been experiencing I'd definitely say you could do some things to improve your overall lifestyle/moods, but meeting with some sort of therapist or counselor would be a good first step.
decided on a whim to try online dating, started talking to a girl this week, was feeling really good about it, and already experienced my first ghosting
wheeeeeee
I know you're supposed to expect that and it's all part of the game or whatever but with my self esteem it's probably just not worth it
I haven't been happy but I've at least been stable for the last few months but now I feel like I'm plummeting back down
Edit: So it turned out I was a paranoid idiot and her internet was just down for a few days, and now we have a date scheduled this weekend. Regardless, there are probably several lessons to be learned from this experience.
wheeeeeee
I know you're supposed to expect that and it's all part of the game or whatever but with my self esteem it's probably just not worth it
I haven't been happy but I've at least been stable for the last few months but now I feel like I'm plummeting back down
Edit: So it turned out I was a paranoid idiot and her internet was just down for a few days, and now we have a date scheduled this weekend. Regardless, there are probably several lessons to be learned from this experience.
NegroNinja
Member
Feel like absolute shit for about 2 years now. I was thinking about typing up my problems but I can't even get the energy to do so. I'm just done right now don't really know what to do I'm just apathetic towards everything lately. Don't know what to do or even begin to figure out what to do.
TangerineCloud
Banned
I've been using this thread to spill out all of the negative emotions surrounding my break-up for the past month or so, but this time I figured I'd post a happy update: Last night a I hit a major milestone in my struggle with social anxiety. At the age of 23, I finally attended my first party! Don't get me wrong, things were awkward. I felt awkward. I didn't feel super comfortable dancing (though I tried a little bit) or approaching women or anything like that. But in spite of all that, I still managed to have a good time with my friend, which is something I honestly didn't expect (though I'm sure being high helped). I'd do it again! 
pigeon interrupted
Member
Body dysmorphic disorder is dragging me atm. I can barely look in the mirror. I've had it my entire life and thankfully it isn't constant. But lately it has been fueling my depression. Lots of love to all of you who are suffering *hugs*
Congrats! Social anxiety sucks but having allies helps. Glad you enjoyed it. I haven't been to a good party for ages. I did dream I was at a good party recently but it was taken over by zombies and they ate my face, haha
I've been using this thread to spill out all of the negative emotions surrounding my break-up for the past month or so, but this time I figured I'd post a happy update: Last night a I hit a major milestone in my struggle with social anxiety. At the age of 23, I finally attended my first party! Don't get me wrong, things were awkward. I felt awkward. I didn't feel super comfortable dancing (though I tried a little bit) or approaching women or anything like that. But in spite of all that, I still managed to have a good time with my friend, which is something I honestly didn't expect (though I'm sure being high helped). I'd do it again!
Congrats! Social anxiety sucks but having allies helps. Glad you enjoyed it. I haven't been to a good party for ages. I did dream I was at a good party recently but it was taken over by zombies and they ate my face, haha
MisterLuffy
Member
I hate being lazy, I need to find a job and I only work two days at retail. My parents asked me if they could add more hours. I could ask but I don't want to because I don't like working there. I want to work somewhere else but I'm lazy which is a problem I have. Also, I'm hesitant to look for jobs relating to my major because I'm not eager to learn. I lack motivation and effort which could be the reason why I won't be hired.
pixelation
Member
Ditto on the lazy thing...
I recommend anyone here who is considering group therapy to give it a shot.
I went my first time last week and it was breath of fresh air when compared to traditional therapy. I met people there who've been at it for years and they were some of the warmest, most thoughtful people I've ever come across.
It honestly felt like hell until I talked though, you gotta open up to get anywhere from what I've seen. In the end the payoff is so rewarding, being able to vent with everyday people.
Also if anyone reading this has a issue that can't be shared due to LEA involvement, just know your not alone and you don't have to blame yourself for all your mistakes. I'm here if you want to talk, you can PM me, I'll respond. If you're a lurker just shoot me an email, my name at gmail.com
I went my first time last week and it was breath of fresh air when compared to traditional therapy. I met people there who've been at it for years and they were some of the warmest, most thoughtful people I've ever come across.
It honestly felt like hell until I talked though, you gotta open up to get anywhere from what I've seen. In the end the payoff is so rewarding, being able to vent with everyday people.
Also if anyone reading this has a issue that can't be shared due to LEA involvement, just know your not alone and you don't have to blame yourself for all your mistakes. I'm here if you want to talk, you can PM me, I'll respond. If you're a lurker just shoot me an email, my name at gmail.com
half a moon
Banned
Lost the perfect job a few months ago. Time to apply again after clearing up legal trouble. It'll prob be a shit job :/ gping to only work 15-20 hours a week tho while I deal with mental issues.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Stupidly asked a girl who posts on NSFW subreddits who openly mentions which region she lives in (Scotland) for a coffee date via PM. She turned me down politely and I didn't bother her again afterwards, so I did the right thing but it still makes me cringe when I think about it. I feel so damn lonely that I am looking for love where I shouldn't really look for it.
Tried my best in an assessment day for a entry level web developer job as well but that wasn't good enough. When thinking back over the major events of my life, I reinforce the idea that good things never happen to me. Because they never have happened when I think about it.
Tried my best in an assessment day for a entry level web developer job as well but that wasn't good enough. When thinking back over the major events of my life, I reinforce the idea that good things never happen to me. Because they never have happened when I think about it.
The Lamonster
Member
Marijuana does so much for my anxiety and depression. Better than Xanax. Both at the same time is perfect, though. It really has amazing medical properties beyond just being intoxicating or fun.
Hang in there. I can relate, having done something I regret to this day many years ago and holding myself responsible for what happened. I feel shitty and ashamed of it to this day and my brain tells me i'm not responsible for what happened my heart breaks just thinking about it. Its one of the only things in my closet I have yet to talk to my therapist about because of shame and maybe a part of me wanting to hold onto that guilt as self punishment. If you are able to talk to your therapist do it, it will at least start you on that path of easing that pain and keep you with a different perspective.
I fell into the laziness trap. After finally seeking help for my issues I learned several things about depression like how we all beat ourselves up over things especially laziness when its an actual part of the depression. It's still a battle we have to fight but don't make it harder by beating yourself up over it.
This is such a great post, 100% agree. I started group therapy (more like forced after, you know) a couple years ago and it really helped me. It was frightening for me at first with my anxiety issues and my built up walls and trust issues after so many years. I didn't even open up till a month in but it was extremely helpful. Just knowing you aren't alone in your problems and hearing different stories and ideas how to tackle issues and getting perspectives other than those in our own heads was refreshing.
I understand your feelings of guilt. My relationship with my ex-wife had cumulatively lasted about seven and a half years. The guilt and responsibility I felt for the way the relationship crumbled was incredibly strong for the first two years. I also struggled with thoughts of suicide, but now three years later I am no longer experiencing the ideation. I'll just say to keep on seeing your therapist at the least. Perhaps it might be worth looking into an SSRI, it's really helped me with my anxiety and depressive side of my bi-polarity.
And just to reiterate the guilt will definitely fade over time. It faded for me with proper re-contextualization, but please do keep seeing your therapist so you can grow to properly understand your separation with your ex. If you are going on an extended break from your therapist try writing your thoughts down too. I've found writing out my thoughts/moods to be amazingly therapeutic for me.
As for me this week Tuesday night I have another support group meeting. It's a bi-polar/depression support group and I've met some rather great folks there so far. A large amount of the people there are also around my age so that's been helpful. Wednesday I have another therapy session with my psychologist, and Friday another checkup with my psychiatrist.
Fork on the Left
Member
I ended up crying at work for the dumbest of reason, it's because I can't take criticism. I have bad anxiety problems and am prescribed 100 mg Zoloft and I get worked up over nothing still. Literally, I had a coworker who told me he had PTSD from war and didn't cry. Now if anything I just feel completely ashamed. Almost afraid to go back. I just feel stupid as all hell.
NegroNinja
Member
I need motivation to do anything in my life right now. Get my fat ass to the gym, learn a new hobby, meet new people. But I feel so worthless all the time. I don't know what to do and I have to be strong for my wife so that usually involves me pushing my emotions to the side. I don't know what to do at this point in my life. I really wanna lose weight but I can't find the motivation to do shit about it. Even started smoking cigarettes heavy. This shit is slowly killing me.
wordballoons
Member
Checking back in. My ex is now actively trying to sleep with one of my best friends, and I'm stuck hearing about it. He isn't acting on it, but part of me just wants to ghost the guy to not be reminded of the situation.
Tell your friend that you don't want to hear about it, that it's hurting you. I think that's a more mature way of handling the situation than putting him on ignore (which could cause damage to the friendship).
I'm glad to hear your getting the help you need. I believe it takes a great deal of strength to admit your weaknesses, because you never know how the person on the other end is going to react to your most vulnerable state. It's honestly horrifying and numbing how someone may interpret your feelings. Everyone needs to have people in their life who are thoughtful enough to try and understand their personal problems.
Hey_Blinkin
Member
I had my third therapy session this week. So far I can't really say I'm getting anything out of it, except a huge bill. While I don't expect miracles to happen overnight, I just don't really see where she's going with her advice. I've been battling depression, anxiety, adhd, and crippling self esteem issues for 15+ years. Does she really think that I haven't considered getting out more and trying to replace negative thoughts with positive ones?
While it wouldn't be ideal, I honestly think I could go on as is with the depression, anxiety, and adhd as i have if it wasn't for the crippling self esteem. As a 35 year old that's never been in a real relationship, it feels like it gets harder every day. It really feels like she's avoiding the topic whenever I bring it up. I know I'm unattractive and it's going to take a miracle for me to find someone, but how do I deal with that? I think I'll give her one more shot before starting to look for someone else.
I saw a doctor over the weekend about medication. She won't put me on medication for anxiety and depression until I've taken Lamotrigine for a month to see if it helps with my mood. She says the anxiety and depression meds can make mood swings worse. I'm glad she knows me so well after spending five minutes with me and having me fill out a bipolar questionnaire.
I've lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. The only desire I have now is to find someone to spend my life with. It's all I think about day and night. It's fucking exhausting to want something so badly and see no results.
While it wouldn't be ideal, I honestly think I could go on as is with the depression, anxiety, and adhd as i have if it wasn't for the crippling self esteem. As a 35 year old that's never been in a real relationship, it feels like it gets harder every day. It really feels like she's avoiding the topic whenever I bring it up. I know I'm unattractive and it's going to take a miracle for me to find someone, but how do I deal with that? I think I'll give her one more shot before starting to look for someone else.
I saw a doctor over the weekend about medication. She won't put me on medication for anxiety and depression until I've taken Lamotrigine for a month to see if it helps with my mood. She says the anxiety and depression meds can make mood swings worse. I'm glad she knows me so well after spending five minutes with me and having me fill out a bipolar questionnaire.
I've lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. The only desire I have now is to find someone to spend my life with. It's all I think about day and night. It's fucking exhausting to want something so badly and see no results.
MisterLuffy
Member
I have a project on servers and clients in c programming due tomorrow, and I haven't got anything done because I fail to translate my understanding into code. I had two weeks to do this and here I am still stuck on this annoying project. I'm disappointed in myself to be honest. I ask questions and get answers. I read the pdf on servers and clients like 3 times and yet I'm still stuck. Sucks to be me when I'm not eager to finish this project. I keep telling myself either out loud or in my head that I'm an idiot. Seriously, I'm an idiot whose lazy, hesitant in looking for jobs/internships relating to my major, and wastes time. Two weeks to do this project, all the time I had, and didn't get anything done.
I have hyperacusis since last fall, it's... I'm getting better but I notice that I've mental scars so I'm warry about sounds now more than ever. I know that I can still get over it and not became totaly paranoid but my sadness is piling up.
I stoped crying because of my illness at least, I don't know if it's better instead to just be sad often.
I stoped crying because of my illness at least, I don't know if it's better instead to just be sad often.
HashtagLapsed
Member
This has been my last two weeks.
I have gone back to work, which is deeply rewarding and is entirely about mental health, but is also very stressful.
My 96 year grandfather was diagnosed with pneumonia and sent to hospital (he is back at home now, thankfully).
My aunty was diagnosed with leukemia.
My childhood friend's newborn baby was diagnosed with gigantism.
Another childhood friend it seems likely has a brain tumor.
Owing to my own anxiety over the last 15+ years (vomiting daily, multiple times) and also not taking care of myself because depression, I went to the dentist and need 15 fucking fillings caused by acid damage.
Relationship issues.
My family making a massive property investment and the stresses that come with that type of investment.
My own anxiety, insomnia and depression.
Other issues I can't even remember or thing of. It has been a very rough couple of weeks. The thing that gets me through this, aside from work, is that I know I haven't told anyone I know in day to day life about all of these things. Nobody knows about the levels of stress, worry and whatever other emotions are going on, and that is fine. I haven't spoken about it. But it makes me aware that other people I might normally be angry at haven't said anything about their own lives either. It can be hard or damn near impossible to see we know very little about the people we interact with in day to day life as well (and if it comes to it, we should tell toxic people to fuck off for our own well being), but this last couple of weeks has really driven home that kind of insight. It helps give me more patience. Not only is it almost impossible to know the inner world of the people we deal with, but even then we don't know about the issues they are facing or how they relate to and cope with them.
I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone else. It is just like, things may be better or easier, knowing we don't know so much.
Saying all that, I am still deeply frustrated and pissed off with a number of people, so.. yeah.
*edit* these issues don't seep into my work either, to be clear. There are a lot of safeguards in place to prevent that type of thing from happening. Worrying about people I work with though obviously adds to the worry and stress, which is of course totally fine.
I have gone back to work, which is deeply rewarding and is entirely about mental health, but is also very stressful.
My 96 year grandfather was diagnosed with pneumonia and sent to hospital (he is back at home now, thankfully).
My aunty was diagnosed with leukemia.
My childhood friend's newborn baby was diagnosed with gigantism.
Another childhood friend it seems likely has a brain tumor.
Owing to my own anxiety over the last 15+ years (vomiting daily, multiple times) and also not taking care of myself because depression, I went to the dentist and need 15 fucking fillings caused by acid damage.
Relationship issues.
My family making a massive property investment and the stresses that come with that type of investment.
My own anxiety, insomnia and depression.
Other issues I can't even remember or thing of. It has been a very rough couple of weeks. The thing that gets me through this, aside from work, is that I know I haven't told anyone I know in day to day life about all of these things. Nobody knows about the levels of stress, worry and whatever other emotions are going on, and that is fine. I haven't spoken about it. But it makes me aware that other people I might normally be angry at haven't said anything about their own lives either. It can be hard or damn near impossible to see we know very little about the people we interact with in day to day life as well (and if it comes to it, we should tell toxic people to fuck off for our own well being), but this last couple of weeks has really driven home that kind of insight. It helps give me more patience. Not only is it almost impossible to know the inner world of the people we deal with, but even then we don't know about the issues they are facing or how they relate to and cope with them.
I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone else. It is just like, things may be better or easier, knowing we don't know so much.
Saying all that, I am still deeply frustrated and pissed off with a number of people, so.. yeah.
*edit* these issues don't seep into my work either, to be clear. There are a lot of safeguards in place to prevent that type of thing from happening. Worrying about people I work with though obviously adds to the worry and stress, which is of course totally fine.
Booker Dewitt
Member
So I've been back in Florida for a little over two weeks now.
I can't count a single minute since I've been back where I haven't felt some level of "suicidal ideation."
Edit: just waiting for my dad to go to sleep so I can take a brief walk to clear my head without questions.
I can't count a single minute since I've been back where I haven't felt some level of "suicidal ideation."
Edit: just waiting for my dad to go to sleep so I can take a brief walk to clear my head without questions.
Spladam
Member
Florida can have that affect, I'm back in Louisiana now, I can empathize. Stay strong, read lots of GAF.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
This is a scary precedent.
I remember years ago searching for information on antidepressants and coming across forums and sites dedicated to "user reviews" or impressions, and they would have their drug history on heir signatures.
I thought that was really gross and spreads a lot of misinformation and myths.
Always consult a medical profession for questions.
I remember years ago searching for information on antidepressants and coming across forums and sites dedicated to "user reviews" or impressions, and they would have their drug history on heir signatures.
I thought that was really gross and spreads a lot of misinformation and myths.
Always consult a medical profession for questions.
J_Macgrady
Member
This is a scary precedent.
I remember years ago searching for information on antidepressants and coming across forums and sites dedicated to "user reviews" or impressions, and they would have their drug history on heir signatures.
I thought that was really gross and spreads a lot of misinformation and myths.
Always consult a medical profession for questions.
When I was going through the major depressive episode I needed medication badly, but I was rebellious against psychiatric drugs because I didn't want to admit that I needed help and because of shit like this. They're not perfect, but when your life is in danger and you can't function you don't have a choice. You just can't look at psychiatric drugs as happy pills.
Mastermind Vade
Banned
I empathize with this. I'm with you.
The Lamonster
Member
Walking is the best. Nice to see it mentioned a couple times already on this page.
SomethingWitty
Member
Hey guys. I've been lurking at GAF for a while now (couple of years by now), but I've never posted. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety with a while and been admitted to a psychiatric hospital twice. After the last hospitalization, I had to decrease the units I've taking at uni from 16 units to 12. While I am a little disappointed that I had to lower my workload (sometimes feeling I'm not really doing much which leads to depression and which can cause anxiety which can go back to depression; yay for positive feedback loops), I have more time trying to be a little more active and sociable than I was before to counteract the illness.
So I have been trying to be more active with my uni's anime club, been eating to a variety of restaurants (thank Berkeley for diversity), been working out daily, and try to be more active in sites I otherwise lurk at (e.g. gaf, reddit, and facebook). While the depression and anxiety periodically comes back, I feel doing this kind of stuff helps alleviate it.
Thank you guys for being a welcoming and insightful community; gaf as a whole helped me a lot dealing with mental illness over the years, and I guess I needed to get out of the lurkwork to recognize all y'all.
So I have been trying to be more active with my uni's anime club, been eating to a variety of restaurants (thank Berkeley for diversity), been working out daily, and try to be more active in sites I otherwise lurk at (e.g. gaf, reddit, and facebook). While the depression and anxiety periodically comes back, I feel doing this kind of stuff helps alleviate it.
Thank you guys for being a welcoming and insightful community; gaf as a whole helped me a lot dealing with mental illness over the years, and I guess I needed to get out of the lurkwork to recognize all y'all.
I loved walking, until I made a sacrifice to save and move across town. I was across from a nice park and a strip, now I'm in an area that's not too safe.
First time in this thread, and I've dealt with depression for longer than I'd like to admit. Hello, friends. I hope you are having a great evening/early morning, depending on your location.
First time in this thread, and I've dealt with depression for longer than I'd like to admit. Hello, friends. I hope you are having a great evening/early morning, depending on your location.
Astral Dog
Member
Im doing this too and its very stressing,its like i don't belong there,compared to them im just a stupid thing can barely walk but its for the best.
Hopefully you will feel fine after awhile
I think toxicity should be considered a part of illness and maybe history.
I have bipolar and I am in constant pain, with no ability to enjoy anything, I only get a sense of relief after a shift ends.
Anxiety, high sensitivity, overthinking, fixed on certain thoughts per mostly obsessional ocd, tends to lead to only pain interrupting and defining my person in the grey.
The intensity of the pain I get, is like a sinking feeling, a feeling where you can only think of dying, and sometimes I can't speak it gets so bad.
I have to go somewhere and hide to try not to cry, and I feel helplessly alone, no matter if I'm surrounded by friends.
When there's a constant pain, a constant fatigue, and constant negative thoughts circling in your head-like I have made friends who I so want to be positive around but I can't even think of a single good thought it socks so much- you have to understand these toxic people might only be attempting to cope, and a lot of them may not be able to put it in the words I've used.
I've spent a lot of time joking about bad things to pretend I'm tough.
At.times I have come off like an assault, when I'm really seeking compassion, care, but as don't really know how to ask, as I'm a man.
I think it's wrong to ever call someone toxic.
Those are often the people who need others the most, and all you have to do is give the gift of being there.
I have bipolar and I am in constant pain, with no ability to enjoy anything, I only get a sense of relief after a shift ends.
Anxiety, high sensitivity, overthinking, fixed on certain thoughts per mostly obsessional ocd, tends to lead to only pain interrupting and defining my person in the grey.
The intensity of the pain I get, is like a sinking feeling, a feeling where you can only think of dying, and sometimes I can't speak it gets so bad.
I have to go somewhere and hide to try not to cry, and I feel helplessly alone, no matter if I'm surrounded by friends.
When there's a constant pain, a constant fatigue, and constant negative thoughts circling in your head-like I have made friends who I so want to be positive around but I can't even think of a single good thought it socks so much- you have to understand these toxic people might only be attempting to cope, and a lot of them may not be able to put it in the words I've used.
I've spent a lot of time joking about bad things to pretend I'm tough.
At.times I have come off like an assault, when I'm really seeking compassion, care, but as don't really know how to ask, as I'm a man.
I think it's wrong to ever call someone toxic.
Those are often the people who need others the most, and all you have to do is give the gift of being there.
A fellow taker of Lamotrigine, how has it been working out for you so far? I've been on it for four weeks come tomorrow and my moods have greatly improved. You know I had read that anti-depressants can make mood swings worse but my psychiatrist prescribed me an SSRI along with Lamotrigine. Luckily I haven't really gotten any negative reaction these past four weeks on either.
It's a constant battle for me too. As much as I have improved over the past four weeks I still have my dips and rises in mood. It definitely is not as tiring as it was before, but the changes in mood are still somewhat there, just way less strong.
My appointment yesterday with my therapist went well enough. Tomorrow I have another appointment with my psychiatrist and I will be interested to hear his thoughts on my own progress this past month. I wonder if he'll start me on the medication for ADHD or wait another month before that.
Evil Monkey DTT
Banned
Doing alot better now.
TangerineCloud
Banned
Gah, I had been doing so well recently. Didn't get in contact with my ex after our 30 days of no-contact ended last week. I'd been hanging out with friends, trying new things, going to parties, scheduling dates, etc. But all it took was being sick, bedridden, and idle for a few days to start feeling Emotions again. Now I'm sitting here wanting to text my ex and plan out how to get back together with her again. Fuck.
I really hope my Switch + Breath of the Wild get delivered soon. Maybe that'll distract me.
I really hope my Switch + Breath of the Wild get delivered soon. Maybe that'll distract me.
The Lamonster
Member
I am also depending on BotW to keep me distracted for a while and hope things smooth over a bit before I'm finished with it. Then maybe Mass Effect will take over distraction duties. Thank god for video games (and music).
TangerineCloud
Banned
YUP. And then Persona 5 and Attack on Titan season 2 after that. The next few months are about to be great for using media to avoid feeling your feelings.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Well bad news they denied me ssi and disability, and it sounds like most appeals attorneys won't want to take my case because it is so little in comparison to the average case.
I just feel so angry, it's like my whole life the world has told me you don't matter, you suck, you're terrible, here's a bunch of misfortune gee that's terrible but at least you aren't a starving kid in some distant land.
These salves offer nothing, I see the coming future and I'm terrified of it. In six months to a year my family and I will probably be on the street, in that time my only hope is my novel.
I'm getting close, I don't know if any of it is any good even though several gaffers have read the first half and loved it.
I'm so pissed with God and I ranted and raved in the car and I felt terrible about it because I'm just talking but my mom takes it as yelling at her but I'm not, and I'm not even yelling. She's been a lot more supportive, I had a couple nervous breakdowns, just the stress of everything and dealing with it and my father...my mother...my own problems and woes.
Honestly, if my novel isn't a success I don't know what I will do.
I just feel so angry, it's like my whole life the world has told me you don't matter, you suck, you're terrible, here's a bunch of misfortune gee that's terrible but at least you aren't a starving kid in some distant land.
These salves offer nothing, I see the coming future and I'm terrified of it. In six months to a year my family and I will probably be on the street, in that time my only hope is my novel.
I'm getting close, I don't know if any of it is any good even though several gaffers have read the first half and loved it.
I'm so pissed with God and I ranted and raved in the car and I felt terrible about it because I'm just talking but my mom takes it as yelling at her but I'm not, and I'm not even yelling. She's been a lot more supportive, I had a couple nervous breakdowns, just the stress of everything and dealing with it and my father...my mother...my own problems and woes.
Honestly, if my novel isn't a success I don't know what I will do.
Not to sound mean or anything, but judging from this post alone divorce doesn't sound like a terrible idea.
For you arthritis, have you tried any of the modern biologics like Enbrel, Humira, etc? I have a relative who had a very large improvement on one of those. I think it stopped working after a few years, then she switched to another and was fine again, and there a bunch of difference ones.
Pbsapeer said:
So my wife managed to go back to work last week and has just finished a week in work.
Just posting an update to give some hope to those with anxiety isssues.
Edit: just seen all the stuff with Pamplemousse. RIP. Stand by my earlier comment- mental health is brutal. Thoughts with your family and friends.
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