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Mental Health |OT3| - How do you deal with depression?

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Azelover

Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams, and it was. It really was.
I wanna at least say an update. I've been crying a lot more recently...

It's been tough since it would hit me hard on the weekends and small bursts during the weekday. But during the week I could control it till the weekends where I would just break down right around 11PMish. It's been happening since 2 weeks ago.

But it hurts quite a bit. Then after I feel better, but still. Has anyone else had this before?

Crying is good, because it cleans you. But you can't do it too much, because if you do, your brain chemistry changes, and you feel sad all the time. This can be dangerous.

I've been taught that, you can cry but ultimately you have to shake the depression off, somehow. Anything at all, any small thing, that can make you smile. Attach yourself to that, and grow that in you. Treat joy like a seed. Maybe you can only feel good when you look at one thing, then try something else. If you're really depressed this is a long process. But worth it, because it can save your life. When you beat it, you'll look back and realize how much time that consumed for you. Life is precious, we need to be wise with our time, because it flies. Never pass an opportunity to feel joy, in any small way you can.
 
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Dienekes

Moderator battling in the shade.
I wanna at least say an update. I've been crying a lot more recently...

It's been tough since it would hit me hard on the weekends and small bursts during the weekday. But during the week I could control it till the weekends where I would just break down right around 11PMish. It's been happening since 2 weeks ago.

But it hurts quite a bit. Then after I feel better, but still. Has anyone else had this before?
Raises hand. I've definitely been there, as I suspect most people have at some points. Perfectly natural and imo is all part of the healing process, which is unfortunately very slow sometimes.
 

Mr. Grumpy

Grumpy see, Grumpy do.
I'd say crying is a really positive sign, even though it may not feel like that at the time. Many issues originate from the fact that feelings are contained, hidden as they just fester inside and get in the way of the clear thinking.

Crying is such a raw, natural thing to do. It's almost like just shouting as loud as you can, it won't solve anything in itself but it can give you access to things that you've hidden away. If it didn't hurt, if it wasn't really rough to do then it's unlikely that it would be half as good for you as it is.
 
I never really suffered depression until after I had suffered with anxiety disorder for a few years. Now if I am hit with it I find really the only way I can deal with it is using mindfulness meditation techniques. I put on some meditation style relaxing music from youtube, I make my surroundings clean and use nice lighting using coloured LED lamps I have. I put on some jasmine air diffuser and concentrate fully on my breathing and keeping my mind empty. Sometimes it is really difficult and my mind wants to race but eventually I find myself through the other side and feel okay.
 

Blam

Member
The crying is definitely something that replaced the need I would get to scream really loud. I couldn't ever get a chance to do this but I guess it's replaced with crying. Which is much easier to hide.
 

shpankey

not an idiot
It’s virtual hug time Blam! ::VRhug::

Question: do you have any moments of content or even happiness during a day/weekk now, however brief?

In my long stretch of depression at the end of a long span I noticed I would get flashes of it here and there, and that would increase slowly over more time, but that was the beginning of the change back for me.
 

Blam

Member
It’s virtual hug time Blam! ::VRhug::

Question: do you have any moments of content or even happiness during a day/weekk now, however brief?

In my long stretch of depression at the end of a long span I noticed I would get flashes of it here and there, and that would increase slowly over more time, but that was the beginning of the change back for me.

Thanks for the hug.

Maybe? But I honestly don't know it's been such a long time since I've been happy that I honestly can't tell you if I felt it recently. I could be feeling happiness or I couldn't I don't know. I'm gonna quote what I told a friend of mine.

I don't remember how it feels like to be happy, or how it felt like to be attached to someone, or how it feels like to wake up with purpose.
 
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Super Mario

Banned
I had a solid 5-6 years of my life that were REALLY tough for me. It still creeps up sometimes but the following things have helped the most.

- Accomplishment: Give life your all. You'd be surprised at what you can accomplish
- Enjoy yourself: You need to have the perfect work-life balance. When you work hard, reap the rewards. Spend it with friends. Go places.

15 years ago, I didn't know how much further I want to go. Along the way, once I turned it around, and people even started to say they are jealous of my life. Makes you really think. Makes you really appreciate what you do have.
 

jdforge

Banned
Sign up to a mindfulness course with a reputable instructor and make it a part of your daily routine.

Committing to 20 mins meditation per day is so worth the improvement it will make to every aspect of you.

This is your life. Take it and make it. Don’t be afraid of it.
 

Azelover

Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams, and it was. It really was.
Sign up to a mindfulness course with a reputable instructor and make it a part of your daily routine.

Committing to 20 mins meditation per day is so worth the improvement it will make to every aspect of you.

This is your life. Take it and make it. Don’t be afraid of it.

Gonna try that. Lately I've been feeling awful because of health complications...

I wanna feel good, but to be quite honest, sometimes it's impossible. If your body makes you feel something, there is no escaping it.

Maybe meditation can help.
 

DryvBy

Member
Yeah I know it's pretty severe, some days I literally can't look at my self or any reflection of myself since it makes me scared, and some times nauseous. I rarely use social media anyways so that's not really effecting me that much. Exercise I'd love to do but with no mode of transportation, and frankly no drive or urge to want to goto it I don't feel like it. I went one day last year because I set this shit up with a friend and it died the next day since he had an infection and he couldn't work out.

Don't want to take drugs ever if possible. It's just not something I want. I hope it disappears. It pains me to know that I don't feel like myself at all. Therapists don't work that well if at all for me I've tried multiple, it's really hit or miss. I do miss reading books, it was fun being encapsulated into a book like that. And really I sorta can't not obsess over other people in general I'm really selfless and care more about the well being of others then I do myself.

It goes away. What's funny is everyone I talked to—my 80 year old grandfather, my brother, my best friend, several other friends—all said "Yeah, I feel like that a lot". few of us dubbed it "dream world" because you feel like you're dreaming. It helped to hear people I know say they have this problem too. It's really common.

Try some simple things: eat better (takes times), sleep on schedule, make year long goal (even something fun, just something to accomplish). See if that helps. Also, try to find what bothers you. Something in your life is bothering you. Mine was work. Once I fixed my problem and mad some efforts, my depression all but disappeared.

I hate to sound egotistical but for the sake of this conversation, I'm also pretty selfless. I love giving and I hate seeing people go through anything that saddens them. I actually had to cool it on worrying about others a bit.
 

Azelover

Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams, and it was. It really was.
If you can't go to a gym, get some upbeat music going. And dance to it..even if you think you can't, don't need to do it in front of anybody.

And then do pushups, if you're too weak to do a proper one, use your knees to soften the weight. It's not necessary to do a lot of it, go slow. But be consistent. You're gonna feel better by the end of the week, guaranteed.
 

subsmoke

Member
I go out running usually although if you're the type of person who hates winter like me that might just make you more depressed. In that case you could get a treadmill, put it in front of the TV and watch a show about nature or something while you run.
 

Blam

Member
Another update...

I had a "dream" yesterday, which I don't remember much of, but one thing I do remember is being stabbed. not once, but for 4-5 minutes. I don't think I've ever felt something more painful. I've never been stabbed, but this pain felt like exactly what I would have dreamt it to feel like.

I honestly couldn't wake up, and it was some of the most excruciating pain I've ever felt like. I really at that point would have wanted death over what I was feeling.
 

Dienekes

Moderator battling in the shade.
Another update...

I had a "dream" yesterday, which I don't remember much of, but one thing I do remember is being stabbed. not once, but for 4-5 minutes. I don't think I've ever felt something more painful. I've never been stabbed, but this pain felt like exactly what I would have dreamt it to feel like.

I honestly couldn't wake up, and it was some of the most excruciating pain I've ever felt like. I really at that point would have wanted death over what I was feeling.
Sometimes when our body is having real pain when we are asleep it gets wrapped into our dreams. Were you feeling it after you woke?
 

Blam

Member
Still having these horrible dreams, it's insane I can barely close my eyes in fear of seeing myself getting stabbed.
 

Froli

Member
Audiobooks, Trying to eat healthy and walking 30 minutes a day.

My physical health issues is the main reason that I get depressed.
 

Blam

Member
Another valentines day, and another year alone. It's really the worst on these days. I can't explain how worthless these holidays make me feel. Sucks that this is something that has to be pranced around on every year like if you're not a part of it you're doing something wrong.
 

Blam

Member
So just a little update. Today was probably the best day of my life I've felt absolutely great today. I'm happy that everything has been going good today, and my mood swings and overall depression hasn't hit me in the ass today.
 

BaltaZar

Neophyte
hey
to go through depression, you need a hobby.
Do something productive. Something simple and that you enjoy.
make yourself some friends. I can guarantee you that there are a lot of people out there willing to hang with you.
Find them, hang with them, laugh, enjoy life because it is a beautiful gift.
Save some cash and travel. Discover new things and get fascinated by meeting new people, new races and the way they live. it is so beautiful.
Discover new species of animals
I mean the purpose of life is to be curious about discovering beautiful things.
------------------
there are many souls out there willing to be incarnated on earth but they didnt get that chance because they ended up in a tissue after someone jerked off and spit them in it......
Enjoy life. :)
 

Big4reel

Member
I don`t know what to do myself, lately I don`t go outside except night time to buy groceries. My head feels weird sometimes and I have paranoia around people.
I can`t really tell anyone about it either
 

Blam

Member
I guess another addition to how I've been. I can tell that the majority of my current symptoms, and really just anything regarding how I've been mentally has me thinking that I am bi-polar. I'm going to be checking out with a doctor if this is the case, as I really would want to get to the bottom of this. But a lot what I've been going through has been in most places general descriptions of being bipolar.
 

pramod

Banned
Sorry I don't mean this question to be demeaning or insulting, but how does one find out that he/she is clinically depressed/anxious/whatever?

I have been through periods in my life where I've felt extremely isolated, depressed, discouraged, not having any friends. Even suicidal. I remember there was a time I thought about killing myself everyday. I barely spoke with my family. I thought everyone hated me.

But I eventually got over it. It just took time, moving to a different place, or just getting older and more mature. So could I have been really clinically depressed or some other real mental illness? Or was I just going through a bad period in my life? Should I have gone to a psychiatrist instead of just trying to "work though it" myself?

I also used to be incredibly shy, could not talk to women, and extremely anxious in social situations. But I also got better and less shy as I got older. Sometimes I suspect I have Asperger's. But since I'm much less socially awkward now and actually have a girlfriend, does it mean I'm cured? Can something like Aspergers go away on its own?

How does one tell when the emotions overcoming them are simply based on their unfortunate circumstances, or that it's something more serious/real mental illness?
 
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-Minsc-

Member
pramod pramod Maybe these things the world are calling mental illness are things which can be overcome in time like you have. Perhaps too much focus on using mental illness as a crutch and not enough on overcoming issues.

An observation I'm aware of with myself is the focus on my failures. I know my failures are important but I feel I'm overlooking my successes. If I'm to keep moving forward I feel I need to better acknowledge both.

Failure: Got sidetracked here on NeoGAF.

Success: I took notice of a problem which I feel should be resolved on the farm. Even though I have ideas on how to solve the problem in my head, yesterday I took the opportunity to write down on paper my thoughts. Despite feeling somewhat redundant at the time, it also felt like I was making progress and made some connections I would not have made if I left it all in my head.

Today,

Failure: Yesterdays notes seem to have taken on the "persona" of being useless and something that was a waste of time.

Success: I'm acknowledging a failure mindset.
 
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-Minsc-

Member
Blam Blam You mentioned not recognizing yourself in the mirror. This makes me want to share my mirror story.

Somewhere between 2009 and 2011 (it's a blur now so I might be combining several events into one) I was having some tough times. Many things were weighing me down. I was in the process of getting over a, seemingly, one-sided crush, living on my own, continuing to break myself of my comfort zone and getting in over my head by attempting to run my own business which having absolutely no idea as to what I was doing. With all the things racing through my head I decided to just roar out at the top of my lungs while laying in bed one night. I figured it would help relieve the pressure (in a way it did). After doing this I decided to get up and have a piss. When it came time to wash my hands I looked at myself in the mirror. Immediately I began shrieking, uncontrollably, at the top of my lungs and bolted out of the bathroom. I could not look at myself in the mirror. As a person who did not talk about his problems to anyone, this was my breaking point. It took a very long time before I was comfortable looking at my own reflection. Every so often I can still get a chill when looking in the mirror. I take it as a sign its time for me to step back and clear my head.

Reflecting back I'm not really sure what it was about my reflection which caused me to lose it. What comes to mind is one of two things. The first, being in a depressed state my perception was distorted. The other, my depressed state allowed my external facade to vanish and I saw myself as I actually was. In my case I'm leaning toward the latter. There's a saying out there that says to fake it until you make it. Now that I'm older I'm less sure that is wise. Fake confidence is the opposite of confidence.
 
Have you tried not being depressed friends?

Basically this is what worked for me. Everytime I felt depressed, it was really because I was dissatisfied with my life, or working through trauma. But learning some patience, and steadily progressing cleared that away.

My story was to basically get over it. I control how I feel, don't be weak. Even in my worst state I just needed to realize perspective. But that's just my story, no one else's.
 
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SLoWMoTIoN

Unconfirmed Member
Basically this is what worked for me. Everytime I felt depressed, it was really because I was dissatisfied with my life, or working through trauma. But learning some patience, and steadily progressing cleared that away.

My story was to basically get over it. I control how I feel, don't be weak. Even in my worst state I just needed to realize perspective. But that's just my story, no one else's.
Same. It isn't healthy thinking to expect a constant state of happyness either way.
 
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SLoWMoTIoN

Unconfirmed Member
Keep at it m8. Its hard at first dealing with it but it gets better.
 

-Minsc-

Member
Sadly for someone like me that's not how it works. Being bipolar does not give you at option.
I'm going to throw up a challenge to that for the sake of throwing up a challenge.

Perhaps you are bipolar and have absolutely no choice.

Or perhaps you are using bipolar as an excuse to willingly stay in places of extreme unhappiness.

Those ideas stand out there with all the others.

I full well know there are things in my life which I use to keep myself down.

Thinking of mood swings. It feels proper to say that we won't feel happy all the time since life is ever changing.

Perhaps extreme happiness comes with the price of extreme sadness.

In a life of consistent uncertainty it seems one must consistently learn to grow.

My thoughts for the day.
 

KevinKeene

Banned
Or perhaps you are using bipolar as an excuse to willingly stay in places of extreme unhappiness.

I'm sure no ill will is intended, but between 'get over it' and this, I get the feeling the people posting in this thread don't very well understand mental illnesses.

To make this easier to comprehend: try getting over a broken leg. See how that will work out.
 

Future

Member
I'm sure no ill will is intended, but between 'get over it' and this, I get the feeling the people posting in this thread don't very well understand mental illnesses.

To make this easier to comprehend: try getting over a broken leg. See how that will work out.

On the flip side you don’t use the broken leg as an excuse not to stand or go outside, you get a crutch. I think that’s what was meant.

You are also experiencing someone commenting on something they cannot relate to. Anyone that doesn’t have mental illness can never understand what it’s like. They will over simplify solutions because they can get over bad days easily, why can’t everyone else? And it’s invisible, so how can you be sure someone is truly mentally ill anyway? The mentally ill will always have it especially rough
 

-Minsc-

Member
I'm sure no ill will is intended, but between 'get over it' and this, I get the feeling the people posting in this thread don't very well understand mental illnesses.

To make this easier to comprehend: try getting over a broken leg. See how that will work out.
I could parallel it to a broken leg where one has to make changes in their life to allow new connections to form in their brain to allow them to function in a different manner.

Let's see if I can explain another way. There is a lot more information out there on the topic of mental health and the brain. This could be a big help to people. That said, I can not discount the idea this abundance of knowledge could actually lock a person into a crutch and make them worse. Hence I leave the idea that the solution could actually be quite simple.
 

Gander

Banned
Let me start off by saying there is not enough help, or should I say free help.

The repercussions are so grave, mass shootings, suicide or both. Unfortunately you can't start at the cause because you never know who is going to be abused as a kid or how they are going handled it. Example Tina Fey was slash in her face as a little girl by some weirdo, she could have never wanted to go outside again instead she finds the humor in things. Most stories don't end up so well.

I had OCD bad, I used to hide things from parents a lot, as a grow older luckily I learned to be more open and tell the truth, almost to fault.
 

Battlechili

Banned
I feel incredibly terrible today
I started taking antidepressants (citalopram) back in April while in school and it seemed like it made school much, MUCH more bearable, but now that I'm in summer break I've just felt myself feeling progressively worse and back to the same sorts of feelings I had while I was in school before I started taking them. I don't know if they're working or not anymore :/

I just feel incredibly bored, lonely, and self-conscious. I spend a lot of days sleeping because I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do and it helps me not feel terrible. My greatest cause of all this I'm pretty sure is that I often find myself longing for a relationship. I've never had a partner or significant other, and yet I have irl friends around me already getting married and/or have been in multiple relationships. I want someone to care for, and I want to feel cared for. But I'm terrified of talking to people in real life, and I don't know how to start conversations. I just hide myself away in my room on my computer, and when I was at school, I wouldn't talk to anyone in class. I know I need to fix this, but I don't know how. No one just wants a random person to walk up to them and say "hi", right?
But even beyond that I'm kinda screwed over for the summer anyways because I live in the outskirts of a teeny tiny town with a population of 2000 in the rural South. There is nothing within walking distance. There is nothing in this town to do or anywhere to go to meet people at all. So even though I want to fix my problems, there's nothing I can do besides stay in my bedroom all day and I hate it. I don't own a car. I don't have a driver's license (just a permit). My family's poor so I can't ask them to take me to the next town over whenever I feel like it. I feel incredibly trapped.

And that's just the biggest thing. College is dreadful and they recently changed their policy to where I HAVE to pay my balance for the semester before I'm allowed to move back in in August. If I don't, they'll drop my schedule and won't let me stay in my dorms. The state doesn't give me financial aid typically until September. And I have yet to acquire a summer job (I'm still waiting to hear back from someone I've applied to). There's a decent chance I'll be getting a new job before long, but not having certain financial security is scary all the same, and the job I'll be hopefully getting pays minimum wage anyways so...

I just feel so trapped and lonely. Its not even necessarily a relationship that I want anyways. Even a close friend irl to talk to and confide in would be nice. I have some irl friends, but they all live far away now and none of us are super close. Not in the way where I could talk to them about anything. Its frustrating, and whenever I'm on social media I always wind up feeling terrible whenever I hear someone talk about their girlfriend or boyfriend and how happy they are together. It destroys my sense of self worth and I'm extremely scared that I'll wind up being alone my whole life.
 

jsnepo

Member
Since four years ago this month, I got betrayed and my life changed for the worse. It affected me a lot. It changed me. Now all the demons have caught up to me. Mostly financial but often revolves around family. I'm afraid of the next 24 hours. Help.
 
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Gander

Banned
I think in a lot cases the people you think are so happy that really have their shit together may not be as truly happy as you think. They maybe putting on a show, living a lie so to speak. These people will wonder why you are not like them but maybe you are just genuine.
 
Sleep and diet have been the primary movers for me, although I've dealt with depression since adolescence. Certainly, I'm not writing off anyone's genuine issues by saying "lol why don't you just sleep away the sadness, buddy?"

I realized that sleep and food were two things I could control. I made a goal to get 8 solid hours every day for a full week. It helped tremendously. I don't follow that every single day but it's a good tool in the toolkit. I also noticed that when I eat more nutritious food my mood and outlook were both much better the next day. Getting my diet in order also meant a lot of weight loss, so it was like a vicious cycle but in a positive direction. Fighting against depression -- in my case, at least -- seems to be more about eliminating the things that drag me down instead of adding things into my life that are supposed to make it more enjoyable.

I think in a lot cases the people you think are so happy that really have their shit together may not be as truly happy as you think. They maybe putting on a show, living a lie so to speak. These people will wonder why you are not like them but maybe you are just genuine.
Good insight. This adds to the notion that depression is a mental illness or disease: the person is lying to everyone around them and trying to "hold it together" even though internally they feel it's all falling apart. Being in a constant state of cognitive dissonance is incredibly unhealthy so the symptoms only get worse.
 

JimiNutz

Banned
- Exercise (all kinds but martial arts and weight lifting are my preference)
- Sunshine (or tanning bed if no sun available)
- Pets (dogs for me specifically)
- Meditation (daily for it to really help)
- Clean diet (low carb and try to avoid sugar and processed foods specifically)
- Forcing myself to be social (avoid social media)
- Sex (if it's available)
 
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Battlechili

Banned
I uh...
I just feel really awful.
I always feel alone and this loneliness hits me hard sometimes. And I seem to have a growing fear of abandonment; that the few friends I have will all go off on their own one day and leave me completely in the dust, with no one left but myself. I long for someone to care about that cares about me closely. Someone I can be very close to. I see people close to each other all around me and I wish I could form that kind of relationship. I'm almost jealous of them.

I wish I could be social. I wish there was someone to be there where I wouldn't always feel so alone. My asocialness is crippling. I don't know how to meet people.
 
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M. Crassus

Member
I uh...
I just feel really awful.
I always feel alone and this loneliness hits me hard sometimes. And I seem to have a growing fear of abandonment; that the few friends I have will all go off on their own one day and leave me completely in the dust, with no one left but myself. I long for someone to care about that cares about me closely. Someone I can be very close to. I see people close to each other all around me and I wish I could form that kind of relationship. I'm almost jealous of them.

I wish I could be social. I wish there was someone to be there where I wouldn't always feel so alone. My asocialness is crippling. I don't know how to meet people.

Your loneliness is a result of your state of mind and life. Adding people to your life will not solve it. Here's how I would improve my life if I were you:

Meditate daily, read "The Power of Now" and "The Mind Illuminated" to accompany this. Don't underestimate the importance of this.
Exercise daily in whichever form you like (weightlifting is a simple and good option if you're male) . Just make sure you get plenty of exercise and a good diet to accompany it.
Quit whatever sneaky addictions you have (gaming, social media) and replace at least partially with reading books, exercise, and other ways of improving yourself or at least higher quality entertainment.

These are the basics for your body and mind. From here you can start bettering your life by expanding your comfort zone and bettering yourself. If you live with your parents, get the hell out. If you're wasting your days on nonsense, get a job. If you hate your job, start thinking how to improve yourself so you can get a better one, or quit and go travel or something. Try new activities, hobbies, languages. Your mind will resist these changes, and that's fine. Observe the resistance and do it anyway.

The loneliness/isolation will dissappear automatically in due time if you make these changes and stick with them. Good luck.
 
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