KidA Seven
Member
Plywood said:
WTF:lol :lol :lol
Plywood said:
Bru said:In a taxi, on the way back from an Indian restaurant with my girlfriend and her family.
We hit a bump and I passed a tiny squeak of a thing, an insignificant blip on the edge of human hearing. Within a minute the cab had filled with such an unholy stench that it caused the driver to pull over, calmly open his door and vomit into the street.
Plywood said:
dankir said:What about pussy farts? I remember several times with my ex gf where her pussy would fart, we would both be dying in laughter 'cuz it would keep happening lol.
I wish The Sopranos would still be on the air so they could reenact that situation.eternal prize said:I have so many stories
Was at an italian funeral (very depressing and quiet) and I had my typical lunch (lentils, beans, etc) digesting in the confines of my gut. The gas had already started to build before the viewing but I played it off and hoped they would go way. I was wrong, very wrong. Ignoring the pain, I and others could not ignore the odd noises coming from my gut. Like a combination of a squid trying to strangle an elephant. The worse part is I couldn't leave as there was a huge line, and the doors were jammed. I had to be with family members so I just held it in like a champion for a good hour. As the line winded down, I made my way outside in a sprint, opened the huge oak doors and unleashed the fury of a thousand h-bombs. What I failed to notice were all the smokers standing outside. Thankfully they understood my pain and saluted a job well done.
:lol :lol :loleternal prize said:Like a combination of a squid trying to strangle an elephant.
I've been told that mine smell like week-old roadkill stuffed with rotten eggs and then doused in rancid milk.dankir said:it ain't natural when your fart smells like a rotting animal carcass covered in puke!!!
ScOULaris said:Damn, he really vomited? You must have some stank-ass colon breath, my friend.
Your story makes a great case for the power of farts. They're so versatile, and they can elicit such a wide variety of reactions... laughter, despair, fear, nausea, confusion, anger.TouchMyBox said:I've got an alright story to tell.
I used to work in a supervisory position for the cashiers in a grocery store. This was at a time when I had just joined a gym, and as a vegetarian, I would take protein powder after every work out. Now, whey protein isolate my body is okay with, but non-isolate my body cannot seem to handle properly. When we ran out of protein powder, my parents brought home a new tub, but it wasn't isolate. Determined as I was to get into better shape, I didn't let this change anything and I continued to workout as often as I had. Now after four or so days of working out in a row, I was at work, and I had jumped onto one of the cash lanes in order to help clear the crowd. In the middle of ringing up a customer, I let one rip... Instantly the customers in my line showed on their faces that yes, they can definitely smell the rancid unpleasantness I had just unleashed onto them. Suddenly, the cashiers in front of me one by one had begun to smell it, until it had more or less filled up the entire grocery store. The lady I had been training to do the same job as me came over to me and told me she had smelled a "stink bomb", and as a group of teenagers adorned in baggy clothing had just passed through the store a moment before I had emptied my large intestine, she had come to the conclusion that they must have pulled off a prank and set off a stink bomb somewhere in the store. She notified the store manager of this, and before I know it, the manager gets all of the guys who are stocking the shelves and produce are looking down every aisle, getting on the floor looking underneath every nook and cranny to find the source of this smell which nobody for a moment was tame enough to have originated by any mere mortal. Half the customers were running out of the store as quickly as they could, leaving their groceries to be purchased at a later date.
I chuckled to myself.
Found his youtube accountI <3 Memes said:Is anybody else starting to wonder if maybe ScOULaris has a fart fetish and this whole thread was a clever ruse to gather stories to jerk off too?
:lolbunbun777 said:Fairly seriously, he looks me right in the eyes, and says, "But none of this is really a concern when you are a millionaire such as myself...." At which point perfectly on cue he rips ass very loud, acting as if nothing had happened.
:lol :lol :lolbunbun777 said:Fairly seriously, he looks me right in the eyes, and says, "But none of this is really a concern when you are a millionaire such as myself...." At which point perfectly on cue he rips ass very loud, acting as if nothing had happened.
Stay tuned for my next thread: "Post pictures of yourself farting."I <3 Memes said:Is anybody else starting to wonder if maybe ScOULaris has a fart fetish and this whole thread was a clever ruse to gather stories to jerk off too?
:lol Shart stories are the best.rocksteady1983 said:Shart story: I was at my girlfiends (wife now) house in her bedroom playing the sims 2. And I felt a large pocket of gas move in my stomach, felt fine so i say lets do this (i've farted in front of her before, so we were comfortable in that sense with each other) and let that fart out, and sure enough it was a diarrhea style fart. Sheer terror came over my face and I cut it off mid way as I felt the poo come out. I fly out of the chair knocking it over backwards and haul ass to the bathroom as I was in pain and super embarrassed. So I get to the bathroom, shit comes out, boxers ruined. I toss them in the trash can underneath some other trash so they couldn't be seen (or so I thought) and proceeded to wash my ass. I come back out and Gf is like what happened? "Feeling comfortable enough with her" I told her what happened and she laughed pretty hard, but said she wouldn't tell anyone. About 15 minutes later her mom comes in the room and said who's boxers are in the trash? I was like fuuuuuuuuuuu. Luckily her mom had a sense of humor too.
For some reason, this post had me dying most of all.ScOULaris said:I think most work environments could benefit from intraoffice fart shenanigans.
Boss: Johnson, how are those TPS reports coming along?
Johnson: Almost done. And one more thing... BRRRRRAAAAAP!
Boss: Hahaha! Johnson, you slay me. How does a promotion sound?
Johnson: Well, sir, I'd imagine it sounds something like this. FFFUUUURRRP!
Boss: You've got moxie.
I played this out in my head with the Terrance and Phillip voices.ScOULaris said:I think most work environments could benefit from intraoffice fart shenanigans.
Boss: Johnson, how are those TPS reports coming along?
Johnson: Almost done. And one more thing... BRRRRRAAAAAP!
Boss: Hahaha! Johnson, you slay me. How does a promotion sound?
Johnson: Well, sir, I'd imagine it sounds something like this. FFFUUUURRRP!
Boss: You've got moxie.
That, you did.TouchMyBox said:I've got an alright story to tell.
I used to work in a supervisory position for the cashiers in a grocery store. This was at a time when I had just joined a gym, and as a vegetarian, I would take protein powder after every work out. Now, whey protein isolate my body is okay with, but non-isolate my body cannot seem to handle properly. When we ran out of protein powder, my parents brought home a new tub, but it wasn't isolate. Determined as I was to get into better shape, I didn't let this change anything and I continued to workout as often as I had. Now after four or so days of working out in a row, I was at work, and I had jumped onto one of the cash lanes in order to help clear the crowd. In the middle of ringing up a customer, I let one rip... Instantly the customers in my line showed on their faces that yes, they can definitely smell the rancid unpleasantness I had just unleashed onto them. Suddenly, the cashiers in front of me one by one had begun to smell it, until it had more or less filled up the entire grocery store. The lady I had been training to do the same job as me came over to me and told me she had smelled a "stink bomb", and as a group of teenagers adorned in baggy clothing had just passed through the store a moment before I had emptied my large intestine, she had come to the conclusion that they must have pulled off a prank and set off a stink bomb somewhere in the store. She notified the store manager of this, and before I know it, the manager gets all of the guys who are stocking the shelves and produce are looking down every aisle, getting on the floor looking underneath every nook and cranny to find the source of this smell which nobody for a moment was tame enough to have originated by any mere mortal. Half the customers were running out of the store as quickly as they could, leaving their groceries to be purchased at a later date.
I chuckled to myself.
It's not just air. It's air, methane, and vaporized shit.NeoUltima said:When you gotta fart you gotta fart. What the deal is? It's just air.
ScOULaris said:It's not just air. It's air, methane, and vaporized shit.
And it's awesome.
:lol :lolScOULaris said:It's not just air. It's air, methane, and vaporized shit.
And it's awesome.
Quite literally.Sweedishrodeo said:i also want to mention that my roommate's gf farts when she cums. every time, and loud. we can hear that shit across the apartment
That is affectionately referred to as "dusting crops."Sklorenz said:In public I usually try to do it on the move to ensure that the damage doesn't become too centralized.
:lolbigosc2k said:I came really close to farting in my department meeting, but I did fart in the line for Space Mountain
NoRéN said:Quite literally.
ChiTownBuffalo said:Michelle Obama, in the campaign office I was working at.
I just walked in and had to high step to avoid a stepping on some documents and the Vuvzela Concerto in B flat happened.
What the hell is with all of these cum-fart stories? Am I missing out if my orgasms aren't earth-shattering enough to make me loose control of my rectum?Sweedishrodeo said:i also want to mention that my roommate's gf farts when she cums. every time, and loud. we can hear that shit across the apartment
I think it's perfectly natural. I'm not a woman (obviously) but I can understand why they fart sometimes. There's a lot of pushing going on down there. I used to know a girl that virtually prolapsed her cervix when she came. She could almost pop you right out of there.ScOULaris said:What the hell is with all of these cum-fart stories? Am I missing out if my orgasms aren't earth-shattering enough to make me loose control of my rectum?