how do u see a date ? - isn't it just 2 people eating ?ChiTownBuffalo said:I've seen dates at KFC. Not that weird.
how do u see a date ? - isn't it just 2 people eating ?ChiTownBuffalo said:I've seen dates at KFC. Not that weird.
:lol :lol :lolThe Lamonster said:The Swift Zipline
Yeah. I posted it in the "Worst Dates you ever had" threaddeejay8595 said:LOL..:lol I heard this one on here before. You the same poster?
My co-worker buddy and I were discussing this the other day.tedtropy said:Just the other day I was sitting here in my cube and, thinking the coast was clear, blasted out this nasty beast of a fart that had been boiling up for awhile. Sure enough, not five seconds after that one of the HR ladies walks in (and she's attractive, which only adds to the awkwardness) along with two new hires who were checking on some access I was setting up for them. Needless to say, the fallout hadn't quite reached its half-life and I could kind of tell she was wincing abit but being polite about it it, all while I was trying to decide if I should make a comment along the lines of "I promise, I don't normally smell like this."
She's been in since and hasn't said anything, but really, what could you say about a horrible thing like that?
Maleficence said:Those people were assholes.
Kudos OP, you made laugh out loud with this. :lolScOULaris said:You read that right. I guess being hunched over my desk in such an awkward fashion put pressure on my bowels and forced out a fart that was so intense it woke me from my slumber. I full-on ripped ass. We're talking Whoopee Cushion here. As if the thunderous noise of my fart vibrating between my asscheeks and the hard seat didn't call enough attention to me, the fact that it woke me up made it twice as embarrassing. When it happened, I immediately pulled my head from my desk and sat up perfectly straight, leaving no doubt for anyone in the class that I was the source of the gaseous interruption.
This. This happens in our work bathrooms constantly and while they're at the urinals.TylerD said:I don't have a story that is much different from you guys but I have a really hard time not bursting out laughing when someone in a neighboring stall busts ass.
One day last month I was sitting there doing my thing and somebody comes in hurriedly and drops drawers and then echos a massive fart throughout the bathroom. I completely lost it and even he started laughing. It is even harder to hold back laughter when someone comes up to a urinal next to you and farts while I am standing there trying to pee.
Farts are hilarious.
hahahaha!Clydefrog said:From now on, whenever a family member has explosive diarrhea, we refer to it as "having an Epcot."
DangerStepp said:My dad got so ticked at marketing folks constantly calling their house that he once picked up the phone, ripped into the receiver, and hung up on them without batting an eye.
SmokyDave said:Well, I used a hair removal cream (Veet? Nair?) but the end result was exactly the same. Squeaky.
brianjones said:sucks for the next person to use the phone
Nostalgic Nightmare said:I literally made it all the way home from work (an hours drive)and as soon as my front tires hit the curb, it forced me to shit my pants right in the driveway. Defeated I walked in, put down my coat and briefcase, and threw out my pants and socks while looking at my terrible muscle tone in the mirror before getting into the shower.
That explains why Circuit City had to close its doors.zesty said:I used to work at Circuit City and had a sales manager that would sneak up behind customers I was talking to, drop a rotten ass bomb, and then GTFO. It was simultaneously annoying and hilarious.
Nostalgic Nightmare said:. So the other day I was running low on buffers and was practically crowning, I mean I was touching cloth at this point
Clydefrog said:I remember our first family trip to Disneyworld. We were at Epcot Center and my dad really needed to use the bathroom. At the time, it was just me, my brother, and my dad; I'm not sure where my mom was. My dad did not want to leave my brother and I unattended so he told us to come into the bathroom while he takes care of business. He rushes us in there and slams one of the bathroom stall doors. My brother and I are just waiting there thinking what ride we'll do next! Suddenly, continuous farts and other various shitting noises fill the bathroom. My dad's having explosive diarrhea. My brother and I start laughing and yelling. Then the smell figuratively drenches us. It was, needless to say, disgusting. My brother and I say things like, "hurry up, dad. it's so gross!" "I know, guys. One minute!" He exits the stall, washes his hands, says "don't look in there. come on, we have to go." He described it later to us; I guess he shat all over the stall's walls and toilet. From now on, whenever a family member has explosive diarrhea, we refer to it as "having an Epcot."
SUPARSTARX said:I was at the gym the other night, there were maybe like 4-5 guys there total.
This one dude on the squat rack had his earbuds on and he was doing heavy weights.
Dude farted like one or two times while squatting. Not a single fk was given. lol
I think this may be my favorite post in this thread so far. :lol :lolClydefrog said:My mom told me the story about my dad emptying a tour group out of a "museum/historical house" in Louisiana with his farts. It was really that bad that the tour guide told everyone to go outside for a bit. My dad apparently couldn't stop cracking up and my mom felt horrified. This was before my brother and I were born.
I remember our first family trip to Disneyworld. We were at Epcot Center and my dad really needed to use the bathroom. At the time, it was just me, my brother, and my dad; I'm not sure where my mom was. My dad did not want to leave my brother and I unattended so he told us to come into the bathroom while he takes care of business. He rushes us in there and slams one of the bathroom stall doors. My brother and I are just waiting there thinking what ride we'll do next! Suddenly, continuous farts and other various shitting noises fill the bathroom. My dad's having explosive diarrhea. My brother and I start laughing and yelling. Then the smell figuratively drenches us. It was, needless to say, disgusting. My brother and I say things like, "hurry up, dad. it's so gross!" "I know, guys. One minute!" He exits the stall, washes his hands, says "don't look in there. come on, we have to go." He described it later to us; I guess he shat all over the stall's walls and toilet. From now on, whenever a family member has explosive diarrhea, we refer to it as "having an Epcot."
In 2009, my parents got themselves a Wii for christmas. We had an aunt and uncle over for lunch. After lunch, my parents wanted to show them what the Wii was like since my uncle was interested in it too. My parents were still pretty new to it so I had to guide them through it and say what button to push/motion to do/etc. My dad was sucking at the Wii baseball getting strike after strike. I told him to swing fast and hard. He began to swing with all his might; he hit the ball! But in his excitement of swinging so hard, he didn't realize he simultaneously let out a giant, resounding fart. Everyone was laughing and he was like "ooh! I got a home run!" "YEAH THAT'S NOT ALL YOU GOT!" :lol
:lol that fucking sucksScOULaris said:I know, I know... this is an incredibly inane and immature topic, but I'm bored at work.
For me, it was in my Computer Science class in college. I was in a classroom (with desks, not just seats like in a lecture hall) with about 50 other students. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, so I ended up falling asleep with my head down on my desk halfway through class. About ten minutes later, I farted myself awake.
:lol:lol brilliantClydefrog said:I remember our first family trip to Disneyworld. We were at Epcot Center and my dad really needed to use the bathroom. At the time, it was just me, my brother, and my dad; I'm not sure where my mom was. My dad did not want to leave my brother and I unattended so he told us to come into the bathroom while he takes care of business. He rushes us in there and slams one of the bathroom stall doors. My brother and I are just waiting there thinking what ride we'll do next! Suddenly, continuous farts and other various shitting noises fill the bathroom. My dad's having explosive diarrhea. My brother and I start laughing and yelling. Then the smell figuratively drenches us. It was, needless to say, disgusting. My brother and I say things like, "hurry up, dad. it's so gross!" "I know, guys. One minute!" He exits the stall, washes his hands, says "don't look in there. come on, we have to go." He described it later to us; I guess he shat all over the stall's walls and toilet. From now on, whenever a family member has explosive diarrhea, we refer to it as "having an Epcot."
:lol :lolCount Dookkake said:beef ghost.
DontTouchMe said:7th grade science class when we were watching a movie. I had to sneeze, but didn't have to fart. So whatever I go for it and as soon as I do I sneeze and fart at the same time. Worst of all was that I was sitting on those damn hard plastic fart amplifying chairs. It was short, but so incredibly loud. My friend next to me was the only one who laughed and no one else really cared.
Count Dookkake said:gets hit in the face with a Dook-grade beef ghost.
Count Dookkake said:Vent throughout the night like normal, or hold it in until you have exited the building.
brianjones said:strategic gas venting .. nice