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[Lemurnator]

I was downstairs on my laptop watching TV when I heard banging on the floor upstairs. So I ran upstairs to see what was going on and I went into my brothers room and I saw a lot of smoke. I didn't see how the fire started but he said he was cleaning some CDs in alcohol and something shorted on his computer. This caught the alcohol on fire, which he put out eventually but made enough noise and a smell that myself, my mom, and my stepdad could all notice.

I got their first and I gave him my fan to get the smoke out of his room, but he couldn't set it up fast enough and my mom noticed the smell and came into his room and freaked out at the burned carpet and bed. Sticking out of his matress she saw that he had a stun gun, which is illegal in Michigan, where I live right now. Her reaction was predictable, so was my stepdads, they both stated, mixed in between the fuck's and shit's and several insults toward my brother which are all well deserved, that today is the last day he'll be living in their house. Their theory after she found the stungun is that he was playing with that and the alcohol and that is what caused the fire. He DOES have a lot of wires in his room but the fire was started in a little plastic contailer well away from where all the wires were. He said he picked up the container to try and move it but he couldn't since it burned his hand so he dropped it in another place.

My brother has done some bad things in his life, that's already been acknowledged by myself, my mom, dad, stepdad, ect. ect. He's done wierd things and still does like going out with girls who obviously have low self esteem that he meets on the internet. He's destrutive, stupid, and creepy in a lot of ways. A little while ago a girl that he apparently knew went missing. The police called our house and said that they found that she entered our adress into her computer looking for directions. Now from what I understand she's back home, but that's fucked up still. There's some other stuff too that I won't go into detail about but yeah, my brother is a creep. The fact that he had a stungun makes him even more creepy. It looked like that thing that Catwoman killed Chris Walkin with in Batman Returns.

He destroys a lot of things around the house in ways that would seem unintentional, but when you tie in how often it actually happens it's too odd to put them off as accidents. Lastly, my mom when I went down a little bit ago asked me why I didn't tell her that he had a stungun and why she had to find it herself to know he had it. I didn't know what to say. I know the stungun isn't that powerful and doesn't knock you out, it just hurts quite a lot. I didn't know if I should have told her before or not, I just know that if I did, my brother knows a lot of embarassing things about me, my internet habits, and my boyfriend that could make my life very difficult living with my mom. I can't feel as though I can say anything to her about anything without him giving me some kind of backlash that makes the situation even worse.

So, he has an hour to clean is filthy stinking of alcohol and sweat room before he has to leave. He says he's not going to leave and my mom says that if he doesn't she'll call the police and when they come she'll tell them he had a stungun (which I destroyed at my moms request).

Happy Holidays to me and my family I guess, I'm not sure what's going to happen now.

 

[Leon]

Yeah, the streets will definitely straighten him out.

 

[ManDudeChild]

How old is your brother?

 

[Lemurnator]

He's over 18.

 

[Trevelyon]

He says he's not going to leave and my mom says that if he doesn't she'll call the police and when they come she'll tell them he had a stungun (which I destroyed at my moms request).

So when does COPS air in the US?

 

[3phemeral]

Has your family ever thought about counseling him rather than the "tough love" approach? Seems like he's suffering from a lot more than just simply misbehaving.

 

[Manabanana]

He's over 18.

Pffft, I was moved out when I was 17 (on good terms). It sounds like he needs to grow up.

 

[AntoneM]

That's some heavy shit to deal with. best of luck to you, your bro, and your folks.

My older bro was a drug addict (cocaine) he also smoked weed constantly (please understand that even I smoke up once in awhile but not 3,4,5 times a day). Basically there were 2 things that sraightened him out. 1. My folks commited him to the local psych ward and 2. he met a girl that was willing to take a chance on him. My (our) highschool principle called it a miracle.

 

[impirius]

Guess that Nigerian thing didn't work out for him... :-/

Some folks just need a firm kick in the ass to get it together; here's hoping that's the case here.

 

[Mejilan]

That's a rough situation. Good luck.

 

[Gattsu25]

So, he has an hour to clean is filthy stinking of alcohol and sweat room before he has to leave. He says he's not going to leave and my mom says that if he doesn't she'll call the police and when they come she'll tell them he had a stungun (which I destroyed at my moms request).

I hate it when parents show that they have no clue what the fuck they are doing.


Edit: norinrad21, agreed.

 

[norinrad21]

I can't believe you'll say such things about your own brother regardless of his creepy personality.

 

[Jim Bowie]

I'm not understanding this train of logic. He accidentally caught some carpet on fire, they found a stun gun in his room, and now he's out on the streets? There's got to be more to it than that... were they fighting prior to this? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I understand that this is sort of an unfavorable time.

Where does he plan to live, incidentally?

 

[Baconäger]

I didn't read any of that.

 

[Lemurnator]

Has your family ever thought about counseling him rather than the "tough love" approach? Seems like he's suffering from a lot more than just simply misbehaving.

He's an adult, living in our house because he doesn't make enough money to have his own apartment plus his car is unreliable.

You also can't force someone into counseling when they're an adult, when they aren't willing, and when they leave a path of destruction in their wake.

 

[Gattsu25]

No, but I would think if your parents suggested it or "forced him to go through with it if he wants to continue living in the house" is a lot better than giving him the boot...but what should I know...

 

[Lemurnator]

I'm not understanding this train of logic. He accidentally caught some carpet on fire, they found a stun gun in his room, and now he's out on the streets? There's got to be more to it than that... were they fighting prior to this? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I understand that this is sort of an unfavorable time.

Where does he plan to live, incidentally?

He doesn't plan to live anywhere. He has $300 in his pocket he's supposed to used for some traffic violation or some shit involving cars and jail over tickets.

They've been fighting about a lot for a long time, and me and him have never gotten along.

My brother is a difficult person to live with, but I'm not about to go into all the reasons why. Just take it from me, this isn't the first time any fighting has gone on. Also, we don't know if he accidentally started a fire, because the stun gun was in the matress right above where the fire was and he plays with it all the time. He's very immature. He's destroyed so much stuff "accidentally" that it's hard to know of it really is what it would seem.

 

[AntoneM]

Lemurnator, I hope at the very least you are getting something out of your bro's situation. I mean, I hope that you are learning lessons through your bro rather than having to try the same shit yourself.

 

[Lemurnator]

No, but I would think if your parents suggested it or "forced him to go through with it if he wants to continue living in the house" is a lot better than giving him the boot...but what should I know...

The situation is really not that easy, we can't pay for him to go through therepy especially after how far all this has gone.

That might have been a good option a few months ago but not anymore. He's moved out on his own before already but had to move back in after his car broke down and couldn't make it to his job so he couldn't pay his rent. This brings him back to where we live, this was in like... may of last month.

It's not the same anymore, it's not easy. He's done too much, including stuff that I can't really say here, that's burned his bridges on my moms side, and my dads side and with a lot of his friends. And me.

 

[Lemurnator]

I'm not understanding this train of logic. He accidentally caught some carpet on fire, they found a stun gun in his room, and now he's out on the streets? There's got to be more to it than that... were they fighting prior to this? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I understand that this is sort of an unfavorable time.

Where does he plan to live, incidentally?

He caught the carpet, his clothes, the boxspring to his bed, and his sheets on fire. Parts of them anyway.

 

[NLB2]

Has your family ever thought about counseling him rather than the "tough love" approach? Seems like he's suffering from a lot more than just simply misbehaving.

Pfft. Counseling is expensive. Throwing him into the streets is free. Besides, its not like its that cold in Michigan in December.

 

[Lemurnator]

You might fail to realise the scope of some of the things he's done, and the fact that he's grown man living here only because he has nowhere else to go.... because he isn't making an effort to find a full time job.

 

[NLB2]

You might fail to realise the scope of some of the things he's done, and the fact that he's grown man living here only because he has nowhere else to go.... because he isn't making an effort to find a full time job.

Sell him as a slave.

 

[Lemurnator]

:-/

I'd like to thank the person who recommended pitching the idea of therepy in exchange for a place to live.

I told my mom, she didn't sound like she'd do it but she thought it's a good idea. We'll see.

I really do want him gone, I hate him with every ounce of my being. I just don't want him to mess up my life in his wake by leaving.

 

[isamu]

Lemurnator, I hope at the very least you are getting something out of your bro's situation. I mean, I hope that you are learning lessons through your bro rather than having to try the same shit yourself.

I strongly agree with this post!

Lemurs you have shown to us that you have a very strong head on your shoulders and you're very mature for your age. But you are still young and I hope you do not let what is happening with your brother have a negative influence on you in the future. You appear to be very bright and well spoken and I think you are capable of achieving many things in life. Please stay in school, get that degree and make something good happen for yourself.

Whatever turmoil is happening in your family right now just know that you must be strong, stand on your own two feet and avoid following in the same footsteps as your brother. You have already proved that you are much more mature than he is and I'm confident that you wil grow up to be a very respectful and classy young lady.

Just don't let it get to ya and try to let whatever happends happen between your mom and your brother. Focus on what YOU'RE going to do to better your life! You're still young and have a shitload of time to live and make the best if things.

Stay strong.

 

[Fresh Prince]

Pimp or Gimp?
You choose!

Everything else I wanted to say has already been said.

 

[shuri]

I hope your brother turn bad so that your parents realise that this pathetic tough love solution was a mistake. Your brother will probably end up homeless or in a gang, killed or in jail for killing someone. Can you really expect him to survive for a long time by myself with the fucking way he acts? He's probably going to live at one of those internet girls house right now

If I was him, I would totally get the fuck away from such a non-supportive family like that. It would motivate me to sort my life. I would also reveal all your little probably insipid secrets as a final 'fuck you for not helping' as i would be packing my stuff in the car

If I actually managed to get something going on, 15 years later, I would show up at your mom's doorstep with my kids and go "Look, thats your grandmother. She failed at parenthood. Don't worry, I'll never make you guys go thru that thing over a burned carpet" then leave, leaving the crying grandmother-who-just-learned-she-was-one in the doorway.

Your parents failed. As a sister, you also failed to help your brother, who really needs conceilling.

 

[NLB2]

Can you really expect him to survive for a long time by myself with the fucking way he acts?

heh. you just blew your cover. If you're not good enough for the Lemur's household, you're not good enough for GAF. Be gone!

 

[Guileless]

It's never a good sign when you're being compared to characters or events from Batman Returns.

 

[hXc_thugg]

It's never a good sign when you're being compared to characters or events from Batman Returns.

I was their number one son, but they treated me like number two!

 

[Great King Bowser]

Hope you get through all of this, my older brother (he's a lot older - big generation gap) went through the same sort of thing when he was a teen, my sister (who is also a lot older) said it had a detremental effect on her school and life, and now that the same sort of thing has been happening with my other sister (who is a year older than me) says that I shouldn't allow it to affect my life, which seems to have been good advice.

Anyway, I hope your brother sorts himself out, and you live a full and prosperous life. :lol

 

[nomoment]

More evidence of how the Internet has ruined our lives.

 

[Rorschach]

I hope your parents learn a lesson and disconnect the house from the internet.

 

[tenchir]

Hope you get through all of this, my older brother (he's a lot older - big generation gap) went through the same sort of thing when he was a teen, my sister (who is also a lot older) said it had a detremental effect on her school and life, and now that the same sort of thing has been happening with my other sister (who is a year older than me) says that I shouldn't allow it to affect my life, which seems to have been good advice.

Anyway, I hope your brother sorts himself out, and you live a full and prosperous life. :lol

Wow, I had a similar situation. My older brother was kicked out because he couldn't get along with my mom.... guess what happen? He joined a gang, got caught in a crime, and went to jail. When he was released, he moved back in with us.. My older sister was also kicked out like 2-3 times because she also couldn't get along with my mom...... she ended up getting pregnant and got married. My sister and her husband eventually moved in with us...

They are pretty responsible now(having stable jobs and all), but this occur only because they had a talk(and got help) with my mom and dad.

That kind of tough love can really screw up your brother even further.

 

[belgurdo]

My brother also got this same treatment (as my father has some kind of chip on his shoulder that makes him think he's better than others, and constantly needs to "test" peoples' loyalties to him; I largely ignore him now unless I want something-difficult to do when we live in the same house) years ago, when he was having some emotional problems and started getting influenced by the other kids in the neighborhood (who had single parent families and were pretty much spoiled criminal-minded folks-and he wonders why I don't associate with anyone on my block.)

So, dear daddy did this "tough love" shit on him due to my brother arguing with him one day or something (he told me recently he "got the idea from a television show where this worked"

) and was apparently boggled at the fact that not only did it not work and he didn't come home, but other family members helped him out. Why must I have a father with the mind of a little boy?

 

[White Man]

The tough love approach doesn't work in situations as fractured as these. If he feels like he's losing something (love, a future, emotional stability, a place to stay, whatever) he'll just find a proxy to fill th egap, positive or negative. If I had the degree and the research capabilities, I'd put down money to say that situations like these, as common as they are, never bring about anything that could even be tangently considered good by any involved part, parents, brother, you, whomever.

 

[evil ways]

This reminds of some funny ass episode of Cops I saw a few weeks ago where this old asian guy got his ass beat by his own bum, good for nothing son. Apparently the old man wouldn't let the son inside the house but the kid forced himself in and gave his old man an ass whoopin'.

Then Cops arrive and the kid is on the front porch eating a bowl of cereal and starts cussing out at the cops and threatens to beat up his old man again for calling the police. The cops try to open the porch screen door but before they do the kid kicks it open right into the cops faces, which prompts the cops to take him down with a stungun.

I swear when that shit hit the guy in the chest, he fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, screaming and saying he was gonna fuck them all up. The kid keps calling the cops pussies and saying he would kick their asses as soon as he got free, so the cops had no choice but to tie him up with those plastic cuffs and carry him to the patrol car like a small rodeo animal.

"You gonna calm down?"
"No, fuck you man, fuck you and him too"

Damn I wish I would've taped it.

 

[Seth C]

Congratulations to your brother. Getting away from parents like yours may be the best thing that ever happens to him. I wonder how your parents would react to an actual problem, not just simple childish behavior.

 

[Socreges]

Congratulations to your brother. Getting away from parents like yours may be the best thing that ever happens to him. I wonder how your parents would react to an actual problem, not just simple childish behavior.

I don't know if this specific incident is enough, but it sounds like a 'last straw' type of thing.

At any rate, your parents should try and be more responsible, rather than just try and kick him out. He's probably got problems that can be resolved, or minimized, if someone were to work with him. Tell this to your parents. Because otherwise two things will happen: a) he will move out and get fucked up - your parents and you will feel terrible, b) your parents will cave, he will move back, and nothing will change.

 

[Rocket Punch]

PEOPLE, HE IS AN ADULT!
IT IS NOT AN ISOLATE INCIDENT!
THERE ARE OBVIOULY THINGS WE DO NOT KNOW!


If you had any ounce of brains you would realize this and offer support rather than criticism. Where the hell do you get off giving self righteous proclamations? How about showing some sympathy instead of showing how big an ass you can be?

 

[Rocket Punch]

I hope your brother turn bad so that your parents realise that this pathetic tough love solution was a mistake. Your brother will probably end up homeless or in a gang, killed or in jail for killing someone. Can you really expect him to survive for a long time by myself with the fucking way he acts? He's probably going to live at one of those internet girls house right now

If I was him, I would totally get the fuck away from such a non-supportive family like that. It would motivate me to sort my life. I would also reveal all your little probably insipid secrets as a final 'fuck you for not helping' as i would be packing my stuff in the car

If I actually managed to get something going on, 15 years later, I would show up at your mom's doorstep with my kids and go "Look, thats your grandmother. She failed at parenthood. Don't worry, I'll never make you guys go thru that thing over a burned carpet" then leave, leaving the crying grandmother-who-just-learned-she-was-one in the doorway.

Your parents failed. As a sister, you also failed to help your brother, who really needs conceilling.

Your character (and sadly i fear your life) is showing...

 

[isamu]

PEOPLE, HE IS AN ADULT!
IT IS NOT AN ISOLATE INCIDENT!
THERE ARE OBVIOULY THINGS WE DO NOT KNOW!


If you had any ounce of brains you would realize this and offer support rather than criticism. Where the hell do you get off giving self righteous proclamations? How about showing some sympathy instead of showing how big an ass you can be?

well said huzkee. But remember this IS GAF afterall.

 

[shuri]

Your character (and sadly i fear your life) is showing...

"And What's that suposed to mean?"

 

[Lemurnator]

I strongly agree with this post!

Lemurs you have shown to us that you have a very strong head on your shoulders and you're very mature for your age. But you are still young and I hope you do not let what is happening with your brother have a negative influence on you in the future. You appear to be very bright and well spoken and I think you are capable of achieving many things in life. Please stay in school, get that degree and make something good happen for yourself.

Whatever turmoil is happening in your family right now just know that you must be strong, stand on your own two feet and avoid following in the same footsteps as your brother. You have already proved that you are much more mature than he is and I'm confident that you wil grow up to be a very respectful and classy young lady.

Just don't let it get to ya and try to let whatever happends happen between your mom and your brother. Focus on what YOU'RE going to do to better your life! You're still young and have a shitload of time to live and make the best if things.

Stay strong.

Without the care that my parents give me, I would die. So I'm not doing anything stupid like the stuff he does. My brother and I are two very, VERY different people.

 

[Lemurnator]

My parents have I believe done their best. I woke up this morning and my brother was still here, he ate at our dinner table tonight and there weren't any issues.

I don't know what I missed but I have a feeling a certain posters comment on "Place to live in exchange for you getting yourself therepy." So I'd like to thank that person for mentioning that, even if it's not the current case.

Again, people fail to remember that he is an adult. He is out of school. He has a car (van). He is not mentally retarded. He has a GED so he could go to a car education thing... or something... for free to learn how to become a greasemonkey. He has expressed his intrest in doing that. He is his own person. He has also done a lot to hurt me, my mom, my stepdad, my dad, and my stepmom.

He can't go live with my dad and stepmom in Illinois because he punched my stepmother in the face and told her she was living off of a dead man. Her husband died at work in a machine accident and my stepmother got $500,000 that she's invested and it's lasted a long time. She was unemployed for a long time and still had the money to buy things such as a 50+ inch TV, several vacations, and a few different cars. Now she's a Surg-Tech, and my dad works too so that's a lot of money and I don't know why I said all this just to explain my brothers statement.

They got into an arguement because how slobbingly he lives. Also he had a car which broke down and they bought him a motorcycle which was stolen a few weeks after he had it and his license. He never payed them back for it which he was supposed to since it got stolen. I'm not sure how the fight got started, but I do know that my brother punched my stepmom in the face and now he's not allowed to live over there.

What ruined his life, I don't know. There's a lot of things I haven't said and am not going to say about the things he's done. The things that might have happened to him to make him so fucked up. I know his life went downhill after he became boyfriend/girlfriend with this girl who's the most evil person I know. This was back when he was maybe a Junior in Highschool. I can't remember how old he was but she was my age or 15 when they first started going out. Her mom had breast cancer that had gotten so deep it spread to her bones. When her mom needed something because of her treatment her daughter wouldn't go get it for her. She'd make her get it herself which is rather evil to do to someone who's enimemic(sp?). She would scream at her mom and treat her like shit for what reason, I don't know. I know her dad was fucked up, but her mom just seemed like a helpless person with a daughter who had problems far beyond anything I've ever seen before. Her mom passed away a few years ago, and my brother and her broke up. My brother is very bitter toward my mom because my mother told my brothers girlfriends mom that she knew my over 16 brother was sleeping with her 14 year old daughter because of something she found. The whole situation was fucked up, they stayed together a while after that but eventually broke up when she cheated on him, but yeah. My brother doesn't seem to have any respect toward my mom or any female for that matter.

I don't want him living with us because of the shit he's done to me and the shit that he does to hurt my friendships and relationships with other people. There's a lot of stuff that make me want him out of my life. I just didn't want police to come to our house yesterday and I break down when I hear people yelling like the way they were.

 

[Lemurnator]

Congratulations to your brother. Getting away from parents like yours may be the best thing that ever happens to him. I wonder how your parents would react to an actual problem, not just simple childish behavior.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE IS DESTRUCTIVE. HE IS HURTFUL. HE HAS HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE. HE DOES NOT CARE.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

 

[tenchir]

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE IS DESTRUCTIVE. HE IS HURTFUL. HE HAS HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE. HE DOES NOT CARE.

HE IS NOT A CHILD. HE IS AN ADULT.

Being 18 doesn't magically mean you an adult. I know people who are 18+ years old, but are still pretty child like..... You basically described your brother being very un-adult like, yet you keep calling him an adult.

Edit: "HE IS DESTRUCTIVE. HE IS HURTFUL. HE HAS HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE. HE DOES NOT CARE." Either he is a sociopath who really needs help or someone who doesn't understand what he is doing(childlike).

 

[karasu]

dude, some of you guys sound like you haven't lived a day.

This may be the wake up call your brother needs. One of the reasons people behave like he does is because they know they can get away with it. The parents cant really do anything other than tell him to stop, and he doesn't have to sumbit to their authority, which he clearly isn't. Sure therapy is an option, for some. They can't make him go, maybe they can't afford it. Maybe they've given him a million chances and all that hass done is support his belief that he can do whatever he pleases without consequence(no, beings ent to your room doesn't count). The guy isn't going to turn into Jack the ripper just because he's kicked out. I was kicked out at 15, and it woke me right the fuck up. Thankfully I was let back in. Some of you need to stop imagining that you're the parents of the decade.

 

[Lemurnator]

Being 18 doesn't magically mean you an adult. I know people who are 18+ years old, but are still pretty child like..... You basically described your brother being very un-adult like, yet you keep calling him an adult.

Edit: "HE IS DESTRUCTIVE. HE IS HURTFUL. HE HAS HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE. HE DOES NOT CARE." Either he is a sociopath who really needs help or someone who doesn't understand what he is doing(childlike).

I never said his age, all I said is that he's over 18. He is supposed to have responsibility, yet he doesn't even try to better his life. He's a bum, and a dickhead.

 

[Musashi Wins!]

Besides, its not like its that cold in Michigan in December.

Where are you, Alaska?