Sibersk Esto
Banned
RAW MARCH 18, 2002
It's the Raw after mania x8 and hhh is the new undisputed champ. Company is still called WWF. Hollywood hogan comes out to the Montreal Canada crowd and he is OVER. He looks pretty slick in his NWO muscle shirt and cowboy slacks. He talks about how he was planning to beat The Rock down but didn't expect 70,000 HULKAMANIACS CHEERING FOR HOGAN BROTHERJACKDUDE. He says it was an honor to wrestle Rock and assures him that there will be a rematch. Out comes The Rock, and the crowd is pretty partisan. He has his usual FINALLY spiel and basically says he accepts the challenge anytime but he needs hogan to do something first. He needs Hogan to drop the NWO. Hogan tears off the NWO shirt and out come hall and Nash with the cool NWO filter. Hall and Nash call Hogan a traitor. The crowd are what chanting them to death but Nash shuts them down by calling Hogan a son of a bitch. The Rock calls for a tag match for tonight.
Decent segment. The Rock has found his cadence a long time ago and by this time he's delivering the same promo over and over.
RVD vs Christian for the IC title
Ugh, RAW's cd being called forcible entry
Short, three minute match. RVD literally has no offense aside from his usual spots. Christian has his church choir theme and mesh shirt. Christian tries to steal the title but DDP with a Fozzy shirt comes in to push Christian back in. RVD with the splash to retain. Blegh.
Jericho is backstage looking frustrated with his shiny wannabe rockstar gear. A random guy talks about him losing the title and how the crowd can't wait to rub it in. Why would any human being think he could say this to somebody without any reciprocation is beyond me. Jericho beats the dogshit out of this guy. I don't know if he was a stunt guy or what but Jericho was just laying into him. Jericho says the crowd won't have the chance and leaves. Not much of a segment.
Lita vs Trish
THE MOST EPIC RIVALRY IN THE HISTORY OF WOMEN'S WRESTLING. Lawler is in full creep mode PUPPIESPUPPIESPUPPIESPUPPIES. Tons of wolf whistles from the crowd. This match blows. Practically every shot is whiffed, and it's really sloppy. It only lasts 3 minutes after Lita hits a moonsault. Out comes Jazz to attack them both, which causes a temporary team up. Out comes cowboy hat wearing ivory to help jazz. Potential tag team I guess. Ivory and Jazz are really attractive to me, ivory in particular rocks that hat.
Landmark announcement from WWE CEO Linda McMahon. I remember this cutscene from Shut Your Mouth. She says that the animosity between Vince and Flair have caused the board of directors to split the brands, giving Flair RAW and Vince Smackdown. Next week they'll be a draft. Only the world title and women's title would appear on both shows.
Out comes Vince to bid farewell to RAW. He's really low energy here so it's kind of boring. Out comes Flair, fresh off his match with Taker from Mania. Vince mocks him relentlessly and challenges him to a coin toss to determine who the first draft pick will go to, which he wins. Cheap shot to Flair and Vince does the Flair strut before Ric gets up and puts him in the figure four. Vince's selling is hilarious. Kind of a nothing segment, but not unwatchable.
Edge and Kane vs Angel and Booker T
5 minute match. Angle still has hair, Edge comes out to Rob Zombie, and Kane has his awful transparent flame attire.My knowledge of WWE video games tell me that every single piece of offense from every guy is just their signature move. Edge wins with the edgecution. Lots of energy in this match, but nothing to care about.
Maven vs Al Snow for the hardcore title
It's time. Maven and Snow wail on each other with trash can lids. Out comes Spike Dudley with a stop sign shot on Maven. Suddenly out comes BROCK LESNAR. Spinebuster on Snow, F5 on Maven. Spike comes down on Brock but no effect. Spike sells the fuck out of Brock's offense. The triple powerbombs looked NASTY. Heyman raises his hand.
Replay of the opening segment. We then go backstage where Matt and Lita are slobbering all over each other. Regal taunts them by saying that they could be drafted to different shows and not see each other.
Dudleys vs Billy and Chuck for the tag titles
I'm still baffled that Billy and Chuck was a thing. Dudleys come out with Stacy Keibler. Match lasts like two minutes going at a million miles an hour. Billy and Chuck retain after Stacy interferes and hits Billy with the title. In retaliation for this, Bubba powerbombs Stacy through the table. While I'm not one to think women in pro wrestling should be completely untouchable, this was gratuitous and unnecessary.
Out comes champion HHH, with a limp. This fairly hot crowd is pretty tepid for HHH. He talks about doubting his return after tearing his quad. He shows a replay from last night showing his pedigree on Steph. Out comes Steph looking fine with a leather dress and matching neckbrace. She quickly pisses that all away by being TERRIBLE. Her lines, her delivery, everything is just a terrible performance. She says Jericho wants a title rematch next week. HHH suggests they up the ante by making it a handicap match, with Steph siding with Jericho. If she gets pinned, she has to leave the WWE. She accepts.
Hogan and Rock vs Hall and Nash
This crowd is so hot for Hogan. Rock in comparison barely gets a reaction. This is a fairly standard WWE "heels beat on face until the hot tag" tag match that goes for 8 minutes. The Rock is super sloppy tonight. Rock and Hogan win after the NWO leave the ring and get counted out. Rock and Hogan are pissed. Hogan even threatens to hit them with the yappapi strap BROTHER.
Bad RAW to start this era with. The WWF was going through growing pains and it shows. It's clear that the brand split was the top priority, and as a result tonight is just throwaway. All of the matches have no storytelling, just 3 minutes of signature moves over and over. I'll watch Smackdown tomorrow, and hope for the best.
It's the Raw after mania x8 and hhh is the new undisputed champ. Company is still called WWF. Hollywood hogan comes out to the Montreal Canada crowd and he is OVER. He looks pretty slick in his NWO muscle shirt and cowboy slacks. He talks about how he was planning to beat The Rock down but didn't expect 70,000 HULKAMANIACS CHEERING FOR HOGAN BROTHERJACKDUDE. He says it was an honor to wrestle Rock and assures him that there will be a rematch. Out comes The Rock, and the crowd is pretty partisan. He has his usual FINALLY spiel and basically says he accepts the challenge anytime but he needs hogan to do something first. He needs Hogan to drop the NWO. Hogan tears off the NWO shirt and out come hall and Nash with the cool NWO filter. Hall and Nash call Hogan a traitor. The crowd are what chanting them to death but Nash shuts them down by calling Hogan a son of a bitch. The Rock calls for a tag match for tonight.
Decent segment. The Rock has found his cadence a long time ago and by this time he's delivering the same promo over and over.
RVD vs Christian for the IC title
Ugh, RAW's cd being called forcible entry
Short, three minute match. RVD literally has no offense aside from his usual spots. Christian has his church choir theme and mesh shirt. Christian tries to steal the title but DDP with a Fozzy shirt comes in to push Christian back in. RVD with the splash to retain. Blegh.
Jericho is backstage looking frustrated with his shiny wannabe rockstar gear. A random guy talks about him losing the title and how the crowd can't wait to rub it in. Why would any human being think he could say this to somebody without any reciprocation is beyond me. Jericho beats the dogshit out of this guy. I don't know if he was a stunt guy or what but Jericho was just laying into him. Jericho says the crowd won't have the chance and leaves. Not much of a segment.
Lita vs Trish
THE MOST EPIC RIVALRY IN THE HISTORY OF WOMEN'S WRESTLING. Lawler is in full creep mode PUPPIESPUPPIESPUPPIESPUPPIES. Tons of wolf whistles from the crowd. This match blows. Practically every shot is whiffed, and it's really sloppy. It only lasts 3 minutes after Lita hits a moonsault. Out comes Jazz to attack them both, which causes a temporary team up. Out comes cowboy hat wearing ivory to help jazz. Potential tag team I guess. Ivory and Jazz are really attractive to me, ivory in particular rocks that hat.
Landmark announcement from WWE CEO Linda McMahon. I remember this cutscene from Shut Your Mouth. She says that the animosity between Vince and Flair have caused the board of directors to split the brands, giving Flair RAW and Vince Smackdown. Next week they'll be a draft. Only the world title and women's title would appear on both shows.
Out comes Vince to bid farewell to RAW. He's really low energy here so it's kind of boring. Out comes Flair, fresh off his match with Taker from Mania. Vince mocks him relentlessly and challenges him to a coin toss to determine who the first draft pick will go to, which he wins. Cheap shot to Flair and Vince does the Flair strut before Ric gets up and puts him in the figure four. Vince's selling is hilarious. Kind of a nothing segment, but not unwatchable.
Edge and Kane vs Angel and Booker T
5 minute match. Angle still has hair, Edge comes out to Rob Zombie, and Kane has his awful transparent flame attire.My knowledge of WWE video games tell me that every single piece of offense from every guy is just their signature move. Edge wins with the edgecution. Lots of energy in this match, but nothing to care about.
Maven vs Al Snow for the hardcore title
It's time. Maven and Snow wail on each other with trash can lids. Out comes Spike Dudley with a stop sign shot on Maven. Suddenly out comes BROCK LESNAR. Spinebuster on Snow, F5 on Maven. Spike comes down on Brock but no effect. Spike sells the fuck out of Brock's offense. The triple powerbombs looked NASTY. Heyman raises his hand.
Replay of the opening segment. We then go backstage where Matt and Lita are slobbering all over each other. Regal taunts them by saying that they could be drafted to different shows and not see each other.
Dudleys vs Billy and Chuck for the tag titles
I'm still baffled that Billy and Chuck was a thing. Dudleys come out with Stacy Keibler. Match lasts like two minutes going at a million miles an hour. Billy and Chuck retain after Stacy interferes and hits Billy with the title. In retaliation for this, Bubba powerbombs Stacy through the table. While I'm not one to think women in pro wrestling should be completely untouchable, this was gratuitous and unnecessary.
Out comes champion HHH, with a limp. This fairly hot crowd is pretty tepid for HHH. He talks about doubting his return after tearing his quad. He shows a replay from last night showing his pedigree on Steph. Out comes Steph looking fine with a leather dress and matching neckbrace. She quickly pisses that all away by being TERRIBLE. Her lines, her delivery, everything is just a terrible performance. She says Jericho wants a title rematch next week. HHH suggests they up the ante by making it a handicap match, with Steph siding with Jericho. If she gets pinned, she has to leave the WWE. She accepts.
Hogan and Rock vs Hall and Nash
This crowd is so hot for Hogan. Rock in comparison barely gets a reaction. This is a fairly standard WWE "heels beat on face until the hot tag" tag match that goes for 8 minutes. The Rock is super sloppy tonight. Rock and Hogan win after the NWO leave the ring and get counted out. Rock and Hogan are pissed. Hogan even threatens to hit them with the yappapi strap BROTHER.
Bad RAW to start this era with. The WWF was going through growing pains and it shows. It's clear that the brand split was the top priority, and as a result tonight is just throwaway. All of the matches have no storytelling, just 3 minutes of signature moves over and over. I'll watch Smackdown tomorrow, and hope for the best.
