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NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2014 - Confessember Be Upon Us - Under New Management

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P

Pathos

Banned
public confession
when people put the word "woe" or "woeful" in their thread titles on the gaming side, I can't take the thread seriously
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Follow up from the Vicarious Trauma Sufferer

Thanks for the sympathy. I honestly don't know how common it is - all I can say is "not very." From my understanding, the term "vicarious trauma" is usually applied to workers in the field of mental health who've treated victims of violent crime. It's unusual for someone like me, who has no background of working with people with PSTD - the psychologists who've tried to treat me have told me they have never met anyone before who is as badly affected as I am. One counsellor even tried to tell me that "it's beautiful" that I can empathise so strongly with others. No, it isn't. It's a living hell! I really envy people who can read a story about a child being raped and then seemingly forget about it soon afterwards with no major emotional impact.

I've been diagnosed at a few points in my life with OCD and Asperger's Syndrome (because of the obsessive/recurrent thought pattern involved), but I don't think these labels quite apply. It might be that I identify so strongly with victims of crime because I have some kind of unresolved trauma that I simply can't remember because it's been repressed...which is scary, because how can I possibly deal with something that I have no memory of?

I was wondering if someone else reading the thread has any experience of this themselves or knows of someone going through the same thing that I am. I feel too horrible and ashamed about this to come forward non-anonymously.
Click to expand...

This sounds like an insanely overdrive version of Will Graham. Perhaps it's a result of a confluence of conditions? I'm not a doctor, so I can't speak to the actual medical implications...
 
terrisus

terrisus

Member
Pathos said:
public confession
when people put the word "woe" or "woeful" in their thread titles on the gaming side, I can't take the thread seriously
Click to expand...

Better than when they use "whoa" in place of "woe."
"Whoa is me" is a positive statement (albeit with grammatical issues), not a negative one.
 
H

-Horizon-

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
post-15478-Nathan-Fillion-speechless-gif-TeGC.gif


I would imagine that if you have no desire to bang your sister, it wasn't incest, but it was really... really weird?

I'm just, I dunno.
Click to expand...

One step away from hentai >.>
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
These last few years, I've been suffering from a combination of mental illnesses, one of them is severe depression. Some days it's doable, others it is not. I live from day to day, not sure about my future... if I have any at all. I recently started taking meds and I see a psychiatrist every few weeks, but I don't feel like it's enough. I've told them about my problems which involve the environment I live in and the people (my parents) I live with, but they just keep telling me my mental illness is the biggest issue and the only one tha needs fixing.

Thing is, as soon as I leave for home after a session... I feel bad again. I don't like living with my parents. I don't like the house we live in. It's very dirty and my father is very dirty as well. There are spiders and insects everywhere. I try to keep my room as clean as possible, but some days I wake up with cobwebs around my computer, window and other stuff. It is very annoying and it only makes things worse.

Thing is, I don't know what to do... I don't have the money to live on my own... I really want a job but my mental issues make it too hard. And, in turn, my parents and this house I live in trigger my problems 24/7. It's awful. I think about suicide every day, but I don't want to act on it.

Someone I know told me about a psychiatric hospital as an option, but I don't know how much it'll cost. My biggest wish is to move out of this house and live on my own. I've seen my brothers apartment... it's a lot smaller but I'd take it over this house any day. I'm so jealous. I kinda wish I could be treated at such an hospital and then get my own place after, I don't know if they have such a plan for people like me... I just don't think it's fair. Nobody choses his parents. I didn't choose this life... Every day I wake up and wish I was dead. It's that bad. Some weeks I feel better, only to drop into the depression pit right after. I feel like there is no end to my suffering. This filthy house and the behaviour of my parents (we fight a lot) only makes everything 100x worse.
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Is there any way you can move out of your current environment immediately? Family or friends far away willing to take you in for a while?
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Hi, semi-long reader, first-time confessor. Plz be gentle.

I used to do a lot of cybering. And I don't mean, like, cybering with another person I knew, or describing myself or anything. I mean like, roleplaying cybering, with fictional characters I and another person made. Played guys and girls alike. This was with characters on RPs we had on what were SUPPOSED to be family-friendly message boards, so we took the nasty to private messages in an IRC channel, or through gmail chat.

And I did some STRANGE shit. I did some outlandish stuff, but never went for the overly gross stuff like guro, and I never did futanari stuff either, I don't get that. There was some selfcest, some catperson/Pokeperson shit, and then there was the soulfucking. What is soulfucking? Well, it's when you possess someone, come into contact with their soul, and then your souls fuck each other, pretty straightforward.

I came into contact with a few... INTERESTING people as a result of my time as an RPer. Two people I can think of off the top of my head. One was this guy who identified himself online as a woman, and insisted on being called a "she", which I obliged to because hey, no harm, not really my place to judge, I'm a soulfucker after all. She had a character who was some sort of vampire/werewolf/alien/Idon'tknowwhatthehell, she kept changing the species every week in the main RP we were in. Eventually she drifted off from said RP, and I have no idea how she's doing nowadays.

The second person... well, he was a strange one alright. I'mma call him Vore-Fox, because he was a furry into vore and cannibalism and rape and I think I remember his main RP character was a fox. I talked to him, but I never really did the cybering stuff with him. One or two times, he messaged me with something like <pounces and gropes>. He could fill an entire confession all by himself, mostly because of what happened to him and my involvement in the aftermath. Also this is getting way too long, so I think I should end it here.
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I'm still trying to figure out soulfucking.
 
R

Reishiki

Banned
Confession said:
The second person... well, he was a strange one alright. I'mma call him Vore-Fox, because he was a furry into vore and cannibalism and rape and I think I remember his main RP character was a fox. I talked to him, but I never really did the cybering stuff with him. One or two times, he messaged me with something like <pounces and gropes>. He could fill an entire confession all by himself, mostly because of what happened to him and my involvement in the aftermath. Also this is getting way too long, so I think I should end it here.
Click to expand...

I swear I've seen this guy mentioned somewhere before on some wiki that keeps track of RPers in certain fandoms, alongside a number of big warning signs saying "THIS GUY IS A CREEPY FUCK, STAY AWAY"
 
terrisus

terrisus

Member
I used to do a lot of cybering. And I don't mean, like, cybering with another person I knew, or describing myself or anything. I mean like, roleplaying cybering, with fictional characters I and another person made. Played guys and girls alike. This was with characters on RPs we had on what were SUPPOSED to be family-friendly message boards, so we took the nasty to private messages in an IRC channel, or through gmail chat.
Click to expand...

Oh...
You mean that's uncommon?... >.>
<.<

>.>
 
C

Chainsawkitten

Member
Reishiki said:
I swear I've seen this guy mentioned somewhere before on some wiki that keeps track of RPers in certain fandoms, alongside a number of big warning signs saying "THIS GUY IS A CREEPY FUCK, STAY AWAY"
Click to expand...

? Doesn't sound very specific to me. Furry and vore tends to be a relatively common combination (and cannibalism and vore are essentially the same thing (vore's a bit broader)). (I mean common as in: as far as vore goes, it tends to be mainly furry stuff, or at least that I've seen.)

Also, god damn at missing some juicy stuff. :(
 
T

tringworldso

Member
Oh for the love of.... for people who saw what it was on the previous page just post a tl;dr and spoiler it for those who want to know what it was instead of saying you don't want to know.

Posting the confession and getting it removed less than half an hour after it was posted is really weird.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Snowman said:
aw man i must have just missed it
Click to expand...

Stormtrooper said:
That just makes me want to see it more to be honest.
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Snowman said:
what do you think i come to this thread for?!
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Chainsawkitten said:
? Doesn't sound very specific to me. Furry and vore tends to be a relatively common combination (and cannibalism and vore are essentially the same thing (vore's a bit broader)). (I mean common as in: as far as vore goes, it tends to be mainly furry stuff, or at least that I've seen.)

Also, god damn at missing some juicy stuff. :(
Click to expand...

Allez Phill said:
Now I gotta see it.
Click to expand...

Surface of Me said:
I WANNA SEE THE CONFESSION
Click to expand...

Froli said:
I wanna see it :(
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CreeperBlocks said:
Oh Fuck. I don't wanna know man..
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Saro said:
Oh God now I want to know so badly.
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Rur0ni said:
What's the point of confessions otherwise?
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Boombloxer said:
How about if someone uses a picture to describe it/their reaction?
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tringworldso said:
Oh for the love of.... for people who saw what it was on the previous page just post a tl;dr and spoiler it for those who want to know what it was instead of saying you don't want to know.

Posting the confession and getting it removed less than half an hour after it was posted is really weird.
Click to expand...

I'd rather people not do that.

Look. I run the thread, yeah? If I don't post a confession or I remove one, it's because I have a compelling reason. In this case, I received a sufficiently compelling reason that leads me to think someone's personal safety or feeling of safety is threatened if I leave it up. I'm not elaborating beyond that out of respect to the individual that contacted me about this confession.

If you don't like it, then sorry, but that's the way it goes. You really wanna know what was there? Ask a mod. They can see all edits made in a post, they know what was there.

People's desire for schaddenfruede is secondary to people's safety.

The confession deals with a third party who requested I remove it. Since they didn't consent to being talked about, I honor the request.

Edit: The person contacted me again and said I can elaborate a bit to sate you: It involves a case of stalking and harassment that borders on psychotic. That's all you need to know. Don't go Detective-GAF on us now.

Also, btw: If anyone does decide to repost that in this thread, you will not enjoy the outcome that results from doing so.
 
C

CesspoolofHatred

Member
tringworldso said:
Oh for the love of.... for people who saw what it was on the previous page just post a tl;dr and spoiler it for those who want to know what it was instead of saying you don't want to know.

Posting the confession and getting it removed less than half an hour after it was posted is really weird.
Click to expand...

Guy probably got cold feet and decided he didn't want it out there. Understandable, and I think it'd be pretty rude to not respect that wish.

In any case, you're not getting anything from me, at least.

EDIT: Also, what NottheGuyYouKill said.
 
S

salty_Josh

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Follow up from the Vicarious Trauma Sufferer



This sounds like an insanely overdrive version of Will Graham. Perhaps it's a result of a confluence of conditions? I'm not a doctor, so I can't speak to the actual medical implications...
Click to expand...
Are you shire it can't be used positively? Like with someone who was treated really nicely or something good
 
M

Mistel

Banned
Because I'm probably not going to find out what it is I going with the guess I had. Which is someone stalking another person online to the point of discovering their home out of obsession or perversion maybe after being rejected or dumped or for revenge something like that.

Because that's the most disturbing I can think of other than some very graphic stuff.
 
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