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NFL 2012 Conference Championship |OT| My Brother's Kaeper

H

harSon

Banned
My hatred for the Niners is pure and strong.

Godslay said:
I think he hates Niner's fans because someone threw a beer on his nephew iirc.

Or something like that, it's fuzzy.
Click to expand...

Those were Raider fans. My hatred for the 49ers stems from being a non-Bay Area sports fan living in the Bay Area. I hate every sports team here.
 
D

Dutch Gronk

Banned
harSon said:
LET'S GO FALCONS!!!!

The only team worth a shit in the playoffs right now. Hope they destroy Bipolarbaugh and Kaepershit at a molecular level, beating them so badly that they contemplate their worth as human beings. The sight of the 49ers being destroyed will bring life to my limp dick. It'll be harder than the final boss in Shinobi. As the final seconds of the game tick down, I'll be raw dogging my dick furiously, inching closer and closer to salvation until the clock hits ZERO. Geysers my friends, geysers. I plan on reaching the ceiling.

I'll then head down to the local retirement home and proceed to find myself a group of ancients with one foot in the grave, who were hopeful that they would see one more 49ers Super Bowl before death came knocking on the door. I'll approach them with a sympathetic look dangling from my face, but as I come closer, that look will slowly morph into the largest of grins. I'm talking Cheshire Cat. All the televisions in the recreational room will conveniently be off, but I'll make sure to turn them all to ESPN, putting the 49ers loss front and center. I'll rip my pants off (I'm wearing some Adidas breakaway pants at this point), and I will jerk it again, with the quickness of a young Usain Bolt. I will clean it up of course, I'm not a monster, so I take out the Kaepershit jersey out of my back pocket (I found a few in a trash bin outside a sports bar after the game, Bay Area fans are the most fareweather of fareweather after all) and wipe it up. I will then throw it into a trash bin, take a shit on it and then light it on fire.

Next, I'll head to Toys R' Us. I will find me a young child, innocent in stature, decked out from head to toe in Niners apparel. His deadbeat parents (I mean, who the fuck raises their kid as a Niner fan? Disgusting. May as well beat your children while you're at it.) are clearly here to purchase him a new toy or game, an attempt to mend a broken heart. I will walk up to this child, stare him right in the eyes and I will whisper the words "the Niner's lost" into his little ears as I witness his soul shattered before my eyes. Mentally broken and no longer capable of handling bodily functions, this child will piss himself. He'll break into tears and beg that I not tell anyone. I say nothing. I will then walk over to the cash register, and grasp the intercom and proceed to ask that an employee clean up mess on aisle 9.

Today will be a glorious day.
Click to expand...

tumblr_mc3h4bsskO1qctmfi.gif
 
H

HowardRoark

Member
Godslay said:
I was looking at the prices on stub hub the other day, what 3K would get you really varies. I saw some nosebleeds for around 3K, and then some decent seats for 3K. I'm surprised at how much variance there was. I bet prices will change pretty fast once the teams are locked in though.
Click to expand...

I actually heard that if you have the cajones, you can go to New Orleans with your smartphone, wait until a few minutes before kickoff and buy some tickets that someone is desperate to get rid of to recoup costs, and then immediately pick them up at will call. I don't think I could ever do that though, way too risky.
 
R

Rorschach

Member
If the 9ers win, the 9ers fans will be unbearable, but if they lose, some poor old veteran gets dive by bukkake'd by harSon. I don't know who to root against anymore!
 
B

BaltimoreLarry

Member
harSon said:
My hatred for the Niners is pure and strong.



Those were Raider fans. My hatred for the 49ers stems from being a non-Bay Area sports fan living in the Bay Area. I hate every sports team here.
Click to expand...

I support you. You are the only here who understands the stakes. And Santa Cruz is the worst. I wonder how they'll decide between Mavericks and the Niners.
 
H

harSon

Banned
BaltimoreLarry said:
I support you. You are the only here who understands the stakes. And Santa Cruz is the worst. I wonder how they'll decide between Mavericks and the Niners.
Click to expand...

Santa Cruz is definitely the worst. I was downtown last week watching the games at Woodstocks. Unbearable. All of that apparel was looking new as fuck. I bet some still had the tags left on them.
 
S

squicken

Member
I was going to say that SF must have some really awful bandwagon fans if it draws such a strong reaction from transplants, but then I vaguely remember when the Cowboys were good, and how awful those people can be
 
D

Dragon

Banned
JCizzle said:
I was responding to Bacon's opening salvo. Don't you have access to video tapes or some shit that allows you to review stuff like that?
Click to expand...

Responding to Bacon is not recommended. Then again you seem pretty insecure. I was rooting for the Failcons before, because they aren't as good as the Niners and now I'll be rooting even harder for the Cowardly Ryan!
 
G

Godslay

Banned
HowardRoark said:
I actually heard that if you have the cajones, you can go to New Orleans with your smartphone, wait until a few minutes before kickoff and buy some tickets that someone is desperate to get rid of to recoup costs, and then immediately pick them up at will call. I don't think I could ever do that though, way too risky.
Click to expand...

Makes sense if they couldn't sell them. Although I'd be afraid to get scammed that close to the game.

DMczaf said:
There's no #1 player on the Falcons...
Click to expand...

It's an old Mike Vick statue with the #7 repainted.
 
B

BaltimoreLarry

Member
harSon said:
Santa Cruz is definitely the worst. I was downtown last week watching the games at Woodstocks. Unbearable. All of that apparel was looking new as fuck. I bet some still had the tags left on them.
Click to expand...

The 1007 is the best because its such a dive, anyone who goes there cares about the sports, not the scene. Plus you can smoke inside!
 
S

squicken

Member
Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
Bears QB Jay Cutler played a small part in Chicago's HC interview process, meeting with Marc Trestman before he ultimately was hired.

That's not a good thing for Mr Bob
 
D

Dragon

Banned
harSon said:
Santa Cruz is definitely the worst. I was downtown last week watching the games at Woodstocks. Unbearable. All of that apparel was looking new as fuck. I bet some still had the tags left on them.
Click to expand...

Bandwagon fans are the worst! Fucking pinkhatters...

Fox318 said:
What time does the Jets-Vikes game start?
Click to expand...

Since you're such a big cat fan you should totally build something with the cat api: http://thecatapi.com/

Some girl at work was fascinated by it for over two hours last week.

tumblr_lmv2s1Wevm1qbhetko1_500.gif
 
A

AndresON777

shooting blanks
harSon said:
LET'S GO FALCONS!!!!

The only team worth a shit in the playoffs right now. Hope they destroy Bipolarbaugh and Kaepershit at a molecular level, beating them so badly that they contemplate their worth as human beings. The sight of the 49ers being destroyed will bring life to my limp dick. It'll be harder than the final boss in Shinobi. As the final seconds of the game tick down, I'll be raw dogging my dick furiously, inching closer and closer to salvation until the clock hits ZERO. Geysers my friends, geysers. I plan on reaching the ceiling.

I'll then head down to the local retirement home and proceed to find myself a group of ancients with one foot in the grave, who were hopeful that they would see one more 49ers Super Bowl before death came knocking on the door. I'll approach them with a sympathetic look dangling from my face, but as I come closer, that look will slowly morph into the largest of grins. I'm talking Cheshire Cat. All the televisions in the recreational room will conveniently be off, but I'll make sure to turn them all to ESPN, putting the 49ers loss front and center. I'll rip my pants off (I'm wearing some Adidas breakaway pants at this point), and I will jerk it again, with the quickness of a young Usain Bolt. I will clean it up of course, I'm not a monster, so I take out the Kaepershit jersey out of my back pocket (I found a few in a trash bin outside a sports bar after the game, Bay Area fans are the most fareweather of fareweather after all) and wipe it up. I will then throw it into a trash bin, take a shit on it and then light it on fire.

Next, I'll head to Toys R' Us. I will find me a young child, innocent in stature, decked out from head to toe in Niners apparel. His deadbeat parents (I mean, who the fuck raises their kid as a Niner fan? Disgusting. May as well beat your children while you're at it.) are clearly here to purchase him a new toy or game, an attempt to mend a broken heart. I will walk up to this child, stare him right in the eyes and I will whisper the words "the Niner's lost" into his little ears as I witness his soul shattered before my eyes. Mentally broken and no longer capable of handling bodily functions, this child will piss himself. He'll break into tears and beg that I not tell anyone. I say nothing. I will then walk over to the cash register, and grasp the intercom and proceed to ask that an employee clean up mess on aisle 9.

Today will be a glorious day.
Click to expand...

toast.gif
 
D

Dragon

Banned
yankeehater said:
I hope so but I think it will be a blowout. Kaep is just to good to stop.
Click to expand...

I think the Atlanta D is better than most people think, but Cowardly Ryan is going to have a bad game.

Wow Cris Carter just said: "Unless the Ravens defense can get those blood transfusions that Lance Armstrong used to get, they better get off the field."
 
G

Grover Cleveland

Member
Public Service Announcement:

Whatever you do don't click on that NSFA thread in the OT.

The OP of that thread should be hanged, drawn, and quartered (or perhaps just banned).
 
Y

yankeehater

Member
Dragon said:
I think the Atlanta D is better than most people think, but Cowardly Ryan is going to have a bad game.
Click to expand...

Falcons run D looked good last week, but Wilson fucking torched them through the air. I think the 9ers rushing attack is better then the Seahawks so that should open up the passing game even more.
 
D

Dragon

Banned
yankeehater said:
Falcons run D looked good last week, but Wilson fucking torched them through the air. I think the 9ers rushing attack is better then the Seahawks so that should open up the passing game even more.
Click to expand...

Good points. I was in a drunken stupor during the end of that game, I forgot Wilson decimated them in the second half through the air. I'm assuming the Falcons won't have their ends rush completely upfield and lose contain with Kaep.
 
H

Hitokage

Setec Astronomer
yankeehater said:
Falcons run D looked good last week, but Wilson fucking torched them through the air. I think the 9ers rushing attack is better then the Seahawks so that should open up the passing game even more.
Click to expand...
Well, the Falcons started the game in run D to keep Lynch and run options contained and then stayed in run D for the rest of the game. The passing game was already open Seattle just hadn't noticed until later.
 
E

eznark

Banned
Best week was last week, everyone knows that.
Hitokage said:
SA -> Fark -> 4chan -> Reddit
Click to expand...

Oh god I forgot FARK was a think. Does that still exist? Between that and Idle Thumbs talking about tucows on their podcast this has been a blast from the past hour for me!
 
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