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[Lee Chaolan]

Haha, DDR machine is perfect

 

[Hammer24]

Texans finally eliminated from playoff contention? All is good in the world.

But -sorry Gata- how in the living fuck are the Jags still in it? Friggin AFC...

 

[MechDX]

Maybe he wasn't perfect, but I think you have to give Schaub credit on a gutsy performance tonight. I think if you're the Texans, you offer him an extension. Five years or so seems appropriate.

Eye twitch.....

 

[DeaconKnowledge]

Head coach is awful as I have said for 5 years. Talent isn't as good as national perception

They don't have a good defense. Either in talent or scheme. Besides Watt, there isn't a player who is more than average. Many are not even replacement level

Offense has lots of injuries. Foster is out. Duane Brown is really banged up. Right side of their line awful. Can't consistently protect and Tate isn't that good of a RB. If he were, and with Foster out, the Texans wouldn't let him go in FA, which they will

I can't agree with this. There has to be something there - can't just be Watt. I'll give you that they're not as good as advertised, but I think a lot of their maladies start on offense.

My sourdough starter is finally ready!

Still didn't get the crumb I want. Need to try a higher hydration dough and get a baking stone

The ultimate goal:

Bread looks good, but it looks like you're wasting it with the fillings. Experiment with fillings as well. I bought a great horseradish on my deli's recommendation. Just a little with a thick sliced pastrami and some sauerkraut, delicious.

 

[d[-_-]b]

Is next week's thread not up?

 

[Dutch Gronk]

Is next week's thread not up?

It's friday, why would next week's thread be up already?

 

[BigAT]

Finally, the Texans are the best in the league at something:

Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
Texans accumulated 177 penalty yards Thursday, the most by a team in a single game since 2001.

 

[Starphoenix]

FOX Sports: NFL ‏@NFLonFOX 4m
The current longest winning streak in the AFC: The Jacksonville Jaguars.

Not even kidding.

I'm happy for Gata.

Edit:

Ian Rapoport ‏@RapSheet 54s
Complete reversal RT @ChronBrianSmith: Kubiak said #Texans will consider starting Matt Schaub remainder of season. "Unbelievable pro."

Oh my God.

My word... How does this happen? I get that he cannot start Keenum after benching him and putting Schaub on the field, but he never should have made that call to begin with.

 

[this_guy]

I can't agree with this. There has to be something there - can't just be Watt. I'll give you that they're not as good as advertised, but I think a lot of their maladies start on offense.

Watt and Cushing are the only 2 playmakers on defense, and with Cusing out again the defense crumbled again.

 

[gutshot]

DJax and cousin Terrio killin' em.

http://instagram.com/p/hj0PQmvf_f/

 

[jmdajr]

So for the Texans to NOT get the no.1 pick, they would need to win 2 out of the next 3.

Going from 12-4 to 2-14. That's pretty amazing. How many times has that happened?

edit: well at least AJ and MJD got me some points.

 

[djplaeskool]

Tomlin on the DDR Machine is fucking killing me. XD

 

[Kave_Man]

I think with a Browns loss (99.9% chance) we end up #6 in the draft order?

I didn't factor in if any other teams beneath them won.

 

[MechDX]

Kubiak presser moved from 3:30 to 11am and to a bigger auditorium than press room

 

[Kave_Man]

Kubiak presser moved from 3:30 to 11am and to a bigger auditorium than press room

Do you think the Texans media will grill him hard on benching Keenum?

I only ask cause I am in a market that doesn't grill it's coach (bball) for the stupid decisions he makes.

 

[Matrix]

Kubiak presser moved from 3:30 to 11am and to a bigger auditorium than press room

Please retire Kubes.


"Do you think the Texans media will grill him hard on benching Keenum?"

Houston media sucks a big one.

 

[Miguel]

Kubiak announces the entire team must grow a beard.

 

[jmdajr]

Kubiak presser moved from 3:30 to 11am and to a bigger auditorium than press room

"Well you know John..."

 

[Matrix]

"Well you know John..."

lol fucking Pancakes needs to go too.

 

[effzee]

Head coach is awful as I have said for 5 years. Talent isn't as good as national perception

They don't have a good defense. Either in talent or scheme. Besides Watt, there isn't a player who is more than average. Many are not even replacement level

Offense has lots of injuries. Foster is out. Duane Brown is really banged up. Right side of their line awful. Can't consistently protect and Tate isn't that good of a RB. If he were, and with Foster out, the Texans wouldn't let him go in FA, which they will

Biggest reason for their demise on defense? Letting Connor Barwin go, trading Demeco Ryans, and Cushing always being hurt. JJ can only do so much.

Thanks for giving us those players though!

 

[MechDX]

Do you think the Texans media will grill him hard on benching Keenum?

I only ask cause I am in a market that doesn't grill it's coach (bball) for the stupid decisions he makes.

Ha! No. Most are pussies. Ones that will put coaches on the spot get press credentials removed

 

[jmdajr]

Biggest reason for their demise on defense? Letting Connor Barwin go, trading Demeco Ryans, and Cushing always being hurt. JJ can only do so much.

Thanks for giving us those players though!

has James Casey done anything?

 

[manfestival]

i wonder what dmzcaf is doing

 

[njean777]

Kubiak has his shitty head coaching ability covered up by someone who plays at a high enough level to make his old school NFL ground game offensive schemes work - 2010 Arian Foster. Unfortunately Foster has to deal with a few injuries and the team manages to lose 50% of what was considered one of the better OLines (but more importantly a line that had meshed well and had the zone blocking scheme down pat). So now Kubiak has to rely more on his passing game...

Now instead of a game manager the Texans need a real playmaking QB. Which means it's Shoob time! Schaub, who was at least an above average game manager (and more than that for one season in 2009), also gets hit with several major injuries and an increasingly worse OLine and inconsistent run game. Whatever few things he did well around 2009-2010 haven't really been seen since.

And then there's the defense. Which went from absolutely completely godawful to godlike when Wade came in and brought Watt, Manning, and a good J Joseph with him to join a healthy (and overtraining) Cushing, Mario Williams, Demeco Ryans and Glover Quinn. The defense was so good it helped to make up for the holes that were starting to show up on the offensive side of the ball. Unfortunately look at how many of those names I just mentioned no longer exist on the Texans anymore (in that same capacity anyway: JJ has fallen off, Cushing is never healthy, etc.)

Basically the bandaids that were trying to keep the leaking ship together fell off.

I disagree with JJ falling off, Andre, and JJ are the only two good players on the team anymore. I would say Tate for being a boss and playing injured but I am undecided with him as of yet.

Arian is injured, our qb situation is hilarious and our head coach is so predictable. Without Foster our offensive game is fucked because the texans when doing good have always been a run heavy team.

 

[effzee]

has James Casey done anything?

He dropped a TD pass in week 2 against the Chargers, which if he caught probably we win the game.

Other than that he has been used sparingly as a FB and TE3. Mostly plays special teams.

I think the potential is there but Chip and staff haven't used him as I imagined. Then again he was picked up before they got the chance to draft Zach Ertz who obviously is a much better TE. But even Ertz has just started to get involved in the offense. All of the TEs have seen little action in terms of targets. Don't know if its by design. Most often we run the 11 personnel and everything is predicated on how many guys the opposing D commits to in the box to stop the run.

I really liked the Casey pick up initially and maybe they don't bring back Celek next year and roll with Casey and Ertz.

 

[Grover Cleveland]

Drew Brees is undefeated in regular* primetime home games with the Saints.

10-0*


*He lost to the Cowboys in 2009, but that was a Saturday night game (weekend before Christmas)

 

[squicken]

I can't agree with this. There has to be something there - can't just be Watt. I'll give you that they're not as good as advertised, but I think a lot of their maladies start on offense.

The offense is a big problem of course. Schoob giving up all those pick 6s was killer. They also have consistently bad ST. Keenum I guess just can't read a blitz. But the defense is very shaky as well. Cannot hold teams to FGs in the RZ. They don't force turnovers, and the secondary has gotten so bad that it doesn't matter how good Watt is b/c they can't stop a quick passing game

The next coach will churn that roster to an a ridiculous degree. This isn't a KC thing where there will be an immediate turnaround

 

[Wes]

I think with a Browns loss (99.9% chance) we end up #6 in the draft order?

I didn't factor in if any other teams beneath them won.

Texans have the first pick sewn up. Unless they beat the Titans final week.

Falcons and Redskins play each other so they're going to leapfrog us. Same with Bucs and Bills.

I think we land anywhere from 3rd to 7th.

 

[Narag]

Texans have the first pick sewn up. Unless they beat the Titans final week.

Falcons and Redskins play each other so they're going to leapfrog us. Same with Bucs and Bills.

I think we land anywhere from 3rd to 7th.

Texans going to win the next three. Beating the Titans, Colts, and Peyton Manning will save Kubiak's. job.

 

[cajunator]

Drew Brees is undefeated in regular* primetime home games with the Saints.

10-0*


*He lost to the Cowboys in 2009, but that was a Saturday night game (weekend before Christmas)

The oline also plays at a higher level which is part of it. I dont know why the line plays so garbage on the road. Maybe the field turf has better traction or something.

 

[Smokey]

It's the day after the Great Tank.

I'm glad it was the only game on. The nation and sports bars were blessed.

 

[Narag]

Vicodin bounties for performing well at home.

 

[cajunator]

Vicodin bounties for performing well at home.

probably. It works for the Hawks.

 

[jmdajr]

It's the day after the Great Tank.

I'm glad it was the only game on. The nation and sports bars were blessed.

For once Schaub did something right. As crap as he is he still wants to win though.
He really is going to do his best to win the last 3 games, but luckily his skills won't allow him too.

Texans D has pretty much shut it down except for Watt. Plus as good as Kareem Jackson has become the dude is now a flag magnet. It's insane. Probably more PI's than Dunta or close to it. Some of them are total BS though.. sucks.

 

[Miguel]

Texans are going to shatter the crowd noise record against the Broncos when Schaub starts.

 

[jmdajr]

Texans are going to shatter the crowd noise record against the Broncos when Schaub starts.

Lol. You know what's funny. I think Schaub can actually play better on the road now. He will actually be able to hear the calls.

 

[Smokey]

For once Schaub did something right. As crap as he is he still wants to win though.
He really is going to do his best to win the last 3 games, but luckily his skills won't allow him too.

Texans D has pretty much shut it down except for Watt. Plus as good as Kareem Jackson has become the dude is now a flag magnet. It's insane. Probably more PI's than Dunta or close to it. Some of them are total BS though.. sucks.

The Great Tank - December 5, 2013

The day the Jacksonville Jaguars swept the Houston Texans

The day Matthew Schaub retook his job as starting qb

The day the Jacksonville Jaguars ran a trick play.. And scored

The night Kubiak shouldve been fired.

I will remember this day

 

[squicken]

Seems weird the Texans moved up their conference, and to a bigger room. Will Uncle Bob be addressing the media?

 

[Miguel]

Who cares about the Texans presser. WORLD CUP DRAW TODAY BITCHES!!!

*US gets Group of Death*

 

[BlackGhost]

Denzel or Elba as lex Luther would be awesome.

 

[Smokey]

Seems weird the Texans moved up their conference, and to a bigger room. Will Uncle Bob be addressing the media?

Probably not.

 

[Himynameischris]

Drew Brees is undefeated in regular* primetime home games with the Saints.

10-0*


*He lost to the Cowboys in 2009, but that was a Saturday night game (weekend before Christmas)

I remember that game, my sister almost had a heart attack


I'm so conflicted with this stupid team, I want them to win and get into the playoffs...but at the same time I'm so done with this coaching staff and front office that I wouldn't mind seem them tank the rest of the way so we can clean house stupid football.

 

[jmdajr]

The Great Tank - December 5, 2013

The day the Jacksonville Jaguars swept the Houston Texans

The day Matthew Schaub retook his job as starting qb

The day the Jacksonville Jaguars ran a trick play.. And scored

The night Kubiak shouldve been fired.

I will remember this day

chris brown

 

[BigAT]

Do you think they need the bigger room for the Schaub extension or the Kubiak extension?

 

[MechDX]

The offense is a big problem of course. Schoob giving up all those pick 6s was killer. They also have consistently bad ST. Keenum I guess just can't read a blitz. But the defense is very shaky as well. Cannot hold teams to FGs in the RZ. They don't force turnovers, and the secondary has gotten so bad that it doesn't matter how good Watt is b/c they can't stop a quick passing game

The next coach will churn that roster to an a ridiculous degree. This isn't a KC thing where there will be an immediate turnaround

There will be a quickturn around. On phone can't go into detail but there is talent all over this roster with a few dud favorites that need to go

 

[njean777]

Do you think they need the bigger room for the Schaub extension or the Kubiak extension?

If they do this I will cry.

 

[dionysus]

There will be a quickturn around. On phone can't go into detail but there is talent all over this roster with a few dud favorites that need to go

Where is the talent at linebacker, corner back, and safety?

 

[squicken]

If they do this I will cry.

He just wants to know what the decorum will be for the Hakeem Nicks-gets-Megatron-money-extension press conference

 

[Colasante]

The Texans getting the #1 pick is going to suck. While they won't be sending six players to the Pro Bowl this year, they're much closer in terms of talent level to the 2012 Chiefs than the 2010 Rams. With Teddy Bridgewater, a new coach, and a healthy Foster and Cushing, they should be right back in contention for the AFC South crown next season. The Luck/Bridgewater battles are going to be a lot of fun though, in addition to having Jake Locker and whoever the Jags select in the division as well.

 

[squicken]

The Texans getting the #1 pick is going to suck. While they won't be sending six players to the Pro Bowl this year, they're much closer in terms of talent level to the 2012 Chiefs than the 2010 Rams. With Teddy Bridgewater, a new coach, and a healthy Foster and Cushing, they should be right back in contention for the AFC South crown next season. The Luck/Bridgewater battles are going to be a lot of fun though, in addition to having Jake Locker and whoever the Jags select in the division as well.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/10088331/bill-barnwell-houston-texans

Barnwell agrees with you that a quick turnaround is possible. I think it is very optimistic that Foster or Cushing regain their top form, and I think people don't quite get the physical decline that has hit Joseph. Kareem also was only barely fast enough to play CB, so any sort of malady that takes any speed from him makes him very vulnerable. Need two safeties as well. On and on