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NFL 2014 Week 8 |OT| I Used To Like Football

R

rando14

Member
Kave_Man said:
Browns have become the team they were expected to be.

Good defense and shit offense. The defense made huge plays yesterday to help seal the win.

4 more games until the return of Josh Gordon.
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That's the formula that helped us win last year!!

*Men's warehouse voice

"You're gonna like the way it works, I guarantee it!!"
 
R

RELAYER

Banned
In case you missed the carnival of stupid yesterday, here's a great article summarizing the Lions-Falcons game and explaining point-by-point why the Falcons are an almost stupifyingly shitty team.

Week 8 NFL Wrap-up: Ministers of Defense

October 27, 2014

by Bill Barnwell

Sunday started with a game that felt like it was both played and watched (on television) by hungover Americans who would have have been sleeping. The Falcons and Lions contrived to deliver a product that more closely resembled the World League of American Football than the National Football League. And by that, I don’t mean to disparage the fine men of the WLAF, who gave it their all in the early ’90s. I mean a game played by WLAF alumni in 2014.

And that game surely would have been better coached. While there were myriad mistakes from the players on the field, Atlanta’s Mike Smith and Detroit’s Jim Caldwell repeatedly made suboptimal decisions, mismanaged the clock, and clung desperately to conservative tradition for as long as possible. Like a malfunctioning fireworks display, the game culminated in an awe-inspiring spectacle of stupidity, with mistakes firing in from all sides before a bizarre climax played out amid a chorus of boos.

Before we talk about the coaching mistakes, it’s hard to really overstate how poorly these two teams played. Atlanta got out to a 21-0 lead by scoring three touchdowns on its first four possessions, with Matt Ryan starting 14-of-17 for 160 yards with two scores. A patchwork Falcons offensive line that was starting a third-string center (James Stone) and right tackle (Ryan Schraeder, who I was sure was the guy who started Pitchfork for most of the first half) did an excellent job of keeping the Lions pass rush off Ryan, who seemed to get the Falcons out to an insurmountable lead. Since 1990, teams that went into halftime with a 21-point lead had been a combined 149-8, which is roughly Madison Bumgarner–in-the-playoffs good.

It went wrong quickly for the Falcons; in fact, they probably should have blown their lead even earlier. In one of the worst 20-minute stretches you’ll ever see, the Falcons fell apart. Ryan threw an unconscionable interception to Cassius Vaughn that would have qualified for intentional grounding if Vaughn had managed to drop it. The defense allowed Golden Tate to get open downfield on third-and-25 for a 59-yard touchdown catch. And Atlanta fumbled three times, but somehow managed to recover all three. It was like an unzipped version of what the Texans did in Pittsburgh on Monday night.

And that all started after … you know what? It can’t wait any longer. I’ve got to talk about the coaching. Robert Alford picked off Matthew Stafford to stop a Lions drive late in the first half, giving Atlanta the ball with 1:18 left and two timeouts. The Falcons had moved the ball with barely a hiccup, and in Ryan, they possessed a virtuoso quarterback who had driven his team downfield in mere seconds time after time after time.

That went for naught in a matter of moments. Atlanta dropped back to pass on first down, but Ryan was forced to scramble for six yards. Just as color commentator Troy Aikman noted the Falcons were right to hurry up to try to score, he saw the Falcons slowing down their substitutions and deliberately bleeding the clock, at which point he changed his tune and suggested that Smith thought his team had already scored enough and would be happy to go into the locker room with 21 points. They would, of course, not record a single score the rest of the way and lose by one.1

While Caldwell valiantly replied with 22- and 20-yard field goals to try to hand back the expected points Smith had forfeited, the real insanity showed up late in the fourth quarter. After the Lions scored a touchdown and failed on a two-point try to leave the score at 21-19, the Falcons needed to execute a four-minute drill to win the game. After picking up a pair of first downs on a blown coverage against a Harry Douglas wheel route and a well-executed screen to Julio Jones, the Falcons made it to the two-minute warning with Detroit down to one timeout. Let’s relive this in line-by-line form.

• Atlanta’s win expectancy as it goes to snap the ball after the two-minute warning is at 97 percent. If it simply manages to keep the clock running without gaining any yards, it will punt the ball to Detroit from inside Lions territory with about 25 seconds left. There is almost no way to lose.

• The Falcons find a way. After a run on first down uses up Detroit’s last timeout, as the announcers are literally reading the names of the broadcast production team — the verbal victory formation — Ndamukong Suh penetrates into the backfield and Stone commits a holding penalty (which was declined) to stop the clock. Stone performed admirably against Suh & Co. in his first career start, and I’m sure he held on instinct alone, but it would have been better if Stone himself had hit Steven Jackson in the backfield for a loss.

• The Falcons make it worse. They could still run the clock down to 1:00 or so, but on third down, they dial up another screen to Jones … who drops the pass. I don’t think you can be too angry at offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter for that call, given that he was putting the ball in the hands of his best offensive weapon with a very safe throw. Jones just dropped it. Atlanta has to punt.

• The Lions get the ball back on their own 7-yard line with 1:38 left, and Stafford quickly moves them to the Atlanta 31-yard line, at which point he spikes the ball on first down with 34 seconds left. From here, it’s a 49-yard field goal on a soggy, subpar surface for Matt Prater, who had been shaky for the Lions since arriving as the team’s third kicker. Because he once hit 50-plus-yarders regularly in the dream kicking environment in Denver, he is “in range.”
• With no timeouts and 34 seconds left, the Lions take the ball on second-and-10 and … hand the ball to Joique Bell up the gut for a 1-yard gain. In just about every appreciable way, this move decreases Detroit’s chances of winning.

• The Falcons respond by calling timeout. I actually screamed. The Lions have had one of the worst kicking games in NFL history this season, they’ve sliced your defense apart when they’ve thrown the ball in the second half and yet are trying to settle for a long field goal, and you stop the clock for them? Why? The only reason I can imagine you would stop the clock would be in the hopes that you can get the ball back with time to score, which is ironic, given that the Falcons threw away an opportunity to try to score at the end of the first half out of self-satisfaction.

• Even more incredibly, the Lions run the ball again! Bell runs up the middle for 1 yard with 24 seconds left. Again, how does this make sense? The play’s going to end with about 18 seconds left. In that time frame, you’re going to run your offense off the field, run the special teams unit onto the field, get everyone lined up, and then successfully try a long field goal? If Bell runs for 15 yards, he takes enough time off the clock and the ball is sufficiently far enough from the sideline that the game’s probably over. If the Lions commit a penalty on offense, just as the Falcons did earlier, the game’s probably over. The best-case scenario is that you gain 4 yards and have to sprint your terrible special teams unit onto the field.

• Or you get bailed out because Atlanta defensive lineman Paul Soliai somehow commits a holding penalty. Defensive linemen never get called for holding penalties. By my count, there had been three accepted holding penalties on defensive linemen heading into Week 8. Think about how egregious this hold had to be to get called with the game on the line. And it was the right call.

• The Lions, still insisting they really want to burn as much clock as possible, give up a yard by kneeling on first down before spiking the ball on second down, leaving five seconds on the clock for Prater. The Detroit special teams unit — the same unit that was going to run on the field with a ticking clock and kick a game-winning field goal — surely knows the plan and has been ready to hop onto the field for more than a full minute by now.

• Somehow, the Lions ice themselves. Prater misses a 43-yard field goal, but that waiting death squad of ninja assassins masquerading as the Detroit special teams can’t get the ball snapped in time, producing a delay of game penalty. Even though most offensive penalties inside of two minutes produce a 10-second runoff (which would have ended the game) and Prater attempted and missed the field goal (which also would have ended the game), because the penalty technically took place before the snap, there’s nothing Smith can do about the whole thing.

• Having somehow run in a circle to get the ball back near the spot where all of this started, Prater hits the game-winning 48-yard field goal on the second try.

• On the plane home from London, Smith instinctively calls for a kneel-down in the middle of first class. I can’t prove this one happened. (Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image)

Nobody deserved to win this game. I genuinely mean that. I know it would throw off the record books. I don’t care. Both teams deserved losses. Maybe more than one loss each. Bill Simmons gave himself 58 wins for his four missing weeks in the Friday picks column. No reason we can’t band together and give the Falcons and Lions five losses each for what happened Sunday morning. ****, the Falcons won’t even be that far out of contention in the NFC South with five extra losses on their record.

The worst part is that in about one month, we’re going to forget how this game ended. The Lions are going to have a better record than they have had in the past, almost entirely because they’re currently 3-1 in games decided by a touchdown or less after going 6-14 in those same games over the previous two seasons, and some lazy pundit is going to write a column or ask a leading question about how the Lions have learned how to win, or how they’ve matured this season, or how they’ve refocused under Caldwell. And it will be total nonsense. When you hear that, remember this game. Actually, no. Forget this game ever happened. Do literally anything else with your life than think about this football game again.
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T

Tom Penny

Member
manfestival said:
You guys always do. Turning our thugs into men. One trade at a time.

vjax might be worth a player and 2nd round pick + 5-6th rounder. Doug martin is probably going for a 4-5th round pick.
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Well Pats will be out on V Jax. I'd be totally shocked if they traded a 2nd for him and take on 10 mil per. Martin for 5-6th is very plausible. He's making peanuts next year.
 
B

BigAT

Member
eznark said:
Loved the first, the second was potentially the worst book I have read in ten years. Not interested in any more after that, which pains me given Rothfuss is a Wisconsinite.
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What? You told me you wore out the pages re-reading the Felurian section over and over while sitting in a bath illuminated by candlelight.
 
B

bionic77

Member
brentech said:
they're.....the same
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The lighting is different.

But I also could see any difference when taking that into consideration.

RELAYER said:
In case you missed the carnival of stupid yesterday, here's a great article summarizing the Lions-Falcons game and explaining point-by-point why the Falcons are an almost stupifyingly shitty team.
Click to expand...
:lol

Though I shouldn't laugh too much. My Steelers are also coached by some serious morons.

I always thought the actual game day management should be the easy part of football. I always though the hardest part of coaching was getting the players to listen to you and coaching them up. But teams behave stupidly every fucking week so I am starting to gather that maybe even gametime decisions are not as easy as they seem while watching it unfold. That or maybe NFL coaches in general are just not very smart.
 
E

eznark

Banned
• The Falcons make it worse. They could still run the clock down to 1:00 or so, but on third down, they dial up another screen to Jones … who drops the pass. I don’t think you can be too angry at offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter for that call, given that he was putting the ball in the hands of his best offensive weapon with a very safe throw. Jones just dropped it. Atlanta has to punt.
Click to expand...

Glad someone, even as angry as this guy is, can still understand that there was nothing wrong with that playcall.
 
D

Dega

Eeny Meenie Penis
captive said:
The texans are the team good teams get well against. The Giants are losers until they played us and then their offense was awesome, until they played the eagles.
The steelers were haplass in the redzone, until the texans handed them the ball like 5 times in the redzone, and even then they were hapless outside of those turnovers and then they go and drop 50 on the colts.
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We should start charging for these services.
 
F

Fox318

Member
wRCLZ37.png
 
T

Trey

Member
WanderingWind said:
At some goddamn point somebody is going to give the Bills credit for tearing it up. At some point.
Click to expand...

When they finish 7-9, we'll be shooting the shit and talking about how the Lions missed three fields goals in epic fashion while their fans shot laser pointers at our players.
 
D

djplaeskool

Member
RELAYER said:
In case you missed the carnival of stupid yesterday, here's a great article summarizing the Lions-Falcons game and explaining point-by-point why the Falcons are an almost stupifyingly shitty team.
Click to expand...

*Ugh* My heart...
Still...so...salty...

The Falcons needs leadership willing to coach up to do what the Saints or the Steelers did yesterday. Tomlin even said it himself. They saw an opening, and KEPT THEIR FOOT ON THE GAS PEDAL. This team's ineffectiveness, inefficiency, and incompetence in the second half of games is beyond embarrassing.

A writer from Atlanta posted this three weeks ago, and I wish I could retweet it every week...
i5soTgQ.png
Click to expand...
 
W

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Watkins is the truth.

Now, I'm not saying let's all line up to fellate a team for kicking around the New Jersey High School All-Stars, but look at all of the big names talking about the game. None of them are focusing on the defense, and the vast majority of the talk today is about the Jets. Hell, Peter King dedicated more of his article to fucking Eddie Vedder than the Bills.

Think of the last time you've had a team with the frontrunner for OROY, and who put up 43 points with 6 takeaways (not to mention a feel good story about a returning QB, during a season with a new owner) and still have zero coverage.

Give us a damn paragraph or two. Cut the 4 grafs about what JJ Watt tweeted this week, if necessary.

Fuckers.
 
F

Fox318

Member
WanderingWind said:
Watkins is the truth.

Now, I'm not saying let's all line up to fellate a team for kicking around the New Jersey High School All-Stars, but look at all of the big names talking about the game. None of them are focusing on the defense, and the vast majority of the talk today is about the Jets. Hell, Peter King dedicated more of his article to fucking Eddie Vedder than the Bills.

Think of the last time you've had a team with the frontrunner for OROY, and who put up 43 points with 6 takeaways (not to mention a feel good story about a returning QB, during a season with a new owner) and still have zero coverage.

Give us a damn paragraph or two. Cut the 4 grafs about what JJ Watt tweeted this week, if necessary.

Fuckers.
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Media has a hate on Jets bias.

Be thankful everybody ignored the Bills when they were bad.
 
D

Dragon

Banned
bionic77 said:
I envy you for how you read the series. It has been so long I don't remember but I think I started reading that shit in the late 90s. The fucking 90s!

I actually liked the ending. Matt grew into my favorite character and it was awesome seeing him be given an impossible situation and win the Last Battle. I also loved how Perrin was pretty much put to the side for the entire last battle until the very end when he finally decided to become a man.

I can't even guess what Pa Don Faine is. You must be talking about the dude with the dagger? Not even sure.

And I am glad someone else agrees that ASOIAF fell off a fucking cliff. I also agree that shit is way too negative these days. Thats why the 80s were awesome! People could actually act like they were excited about something.
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Padan Fain/Mordeth character yeah. We should have a quiz for eznark on how close he can get to spell character's names correctly.
 
R

RELAYER

Banned
djplaeskool said:
*Ugh* My heart...
Still...so...salty...

The Falcons needs leadership willing to coach up to do what the Saints or the Steelers did yesterday. Tomlin even said it himself. They saw an opening, and KEPT THEIR FOOT ON THE GAS PEDAL. This team's ineffectiveness, inefficiency, and incompetence in the second half of games is beyond embarrassing.

A writer from Atlanta posted this three weeks ago, and I wish I could retweet it every week...
Click to expand...

Yesterday I was over it, and then just now I was typing out this long reply to you and started getting really pissed about it again lol.

Just got to accept it I guess, but man is this shit hard to watch. Every week it feels like it can't get worse and then it somehow does.
 
W

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
I thought it was sort of understood that if you were a Patriots fan that you should just not speak when humans are discussing stuff.

Go lay down.
 
T

Trey

Member
Watkins is the truth though. The separation the dude gets is pretty great. Runs his routes well, great hands, just runs by dudes.
 
H

harSon

Banned
I'm still in disbelief over our win yesterday. Ben going nearly untouched for an entirety of a game, pushing the ball down the field, our defense creating turnovers and points, our defense pressuring the QB on a regular basis....

The world is surely ending.
 
W

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
How is Orton NOT a feel good story? Gunslinger comes back out of retirement to save an American institution from an unwelcome eleme...

Hmm.

Waitaminute.
 
S

Squall ASF

Member
JABEE said:
I'm still annoyed by yesterday's game
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I'm still basking in the glory and that's all I can say because you Eagles-GAF guys just aren't douchey enough for me to rub it in. Just remember that your team is 5-2 and playing better football than most of the league. If the Cowgirls fall apart late in the season like usual, you guys got the division. We'll try to do our part and hand them a loss this week for you. Where's Yankee? Is he ok?

AbortedWalrusFetus said:
The worst part is that even if they had won in the final second I would still be annoyed. Foles played like dog shit, and the shit play by safeties/corners on those two long TDs... uhg
Click to expand...
We played like shit too, both teams had too many penalties and our offense was largely anemic in the second half. Both teams are much better that what they showed yesterday and both will be fine going forward.
 
T

The_Darkest_Red

Member
What pisses me off more than anything is that the Pats are still good and they will win the division again. I am so sick of this groundhog day garbage.

It must have been so rough for you Pats fans to go through that incredibly grueling two week stretch where people thought the Patriots might not be 12-4 at the end of the season. I admire your resolve more than any of you can imagine.

Yes I'm salty. Why wouldn't I be?
 
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