Buckethead
Banned
What's so special about an oompa loompa with oversized implants?
Why don't you just move to Jersey and become a Jets fan, if you're going to lust after one of Willy Wonka's man servants like that.
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NFL Offseason Thread - Who cares who won we got a draft to prepare for!
- Thread starter DeaconKnowledge
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Why don't you just move to Jersey and become a Jets fan, if you're going to lust after one of Willy Wonka's man servants like that.
http://www.post-gazette.com/sports/...rs-coordinator-thriving-in-the-desert/stories
Cool profile on Bruce Arians. So odd that he was run out of Pittsburgh and was initially hated at Indy, but both of those teams would probably trade their current head coach for him
Cool profile on Bruce Arians. So odd that he was run out of Pittsburgh and was initially hated at Indy, but both of those teams would probably trade their current head coach for him
His name could be better, but it's close enough. If he beat Eli I think I would move to Houston.
Honestly I got him and McCarron's girlfriends mixed up.
McCarron is my pick as the next Tom.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Previously, in NFL-GAF Prison Chronicles:
NFL-GAF Prison part 1.
NFL-GAF Prison part 2.
NFL-GAF Prison part 3.
NFL-GAF Prison part 4.
NFL-GAF Prison part 5.
NFL-GAF Prison part 6.
NFL-GAF Prison part 7.
NFL-GAF Prison part 8.
As always, click on any image to get the full res screenshot.
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The next morning, Kave as always refuses to take a shower. Day 6 and counting!
With all the other inmates in their own cells, Coldplay takes advantage and sleeps in.
Everyone files out for breakfast as the next batch of prisoners arrives.
We have 10 newcomers this time, so there's 2 transports to accomodate it all. Batman's family also shows up for a visit.
In the meantime, everyone else gets their grub on, except for Futurevoid for some reason.
Let's take a look at who is joining our prison population.
Godslay is serving a term for False Imprisonment, having forced random strangers to sit in a room and watch John Elway highlights against their will.
Slo has a long list of prior offenses. He'll be up for parole soon, but will unlikely get out early due to his history of violence.
Fox318 also has quite the criminal background, including 4 assault charges. Likely more offense than we'll ever see from the Jets!
Cloudy is serving time for running an EA Sports piracy ring and assaulting a Gamestop manager.
RBH has been in the system for quite a while now for robbery. Trying to steal another team's Lombardi trophy doesn't count as winning a championship title after all.
WedgeX is serving a pretty long sentence for accidentally killing a random couple on a binge of reckless driving in a drunken attempt to replicate Matt Stafford's play.
Dutch Patriot was arrested after starting a riot following a soccer match.
Another career criminal, chuckddd is currently serving time for yet another kidnapping charge.
It looks like Blackghost has the longest sentence of anyone else so far, having set some major fires in downtown Cleveland.
By far the smallest guy in the new group, Rorschach was arrested for attending a Raiders game.
Our new arrivals are escorted in.
Cloudy was the first one in, and he cautiously enters the canteen to try and grab a quick meal before breakfast ends. Frankman as always stays away from the crowd.
With only 2 guards, getting the prisoners in is slow work. Only Cloudy would manage to get a morning meal.
To accomodate the new arrivals, a quick hour of Free Time is put on the schedule for today only. BlackGhost is already pissed off at being stuck in a bus with a bunch of dirty prisoners, and heads off to the larger shower in the main cell block.
Impatient, he marches down the hallway naked towards the shower.
The first order of business for chuckddd after getting escorted in is to christen the toilet with his presence.
Rorschach is the last one escorted in. Slo and chuckddd are apparently jumping on a bed.
Having missed breakfast, Slo expresses his displeasure at being hungry.
During Free Time, Batman finally heads to the visitation room to see his family.
RBH and WedgeX hit the weights as Cloudy bitches about how filthy this whole prison is. Meanwhile, a guard keeps an eye on Frankman for some reason.
Three of our other new arrivals decide to take showers in the cell block.
Several others meanwhile hang out in the common room.
Yard time, and as always Kave hits the weights first.
The more vocal guys earlier seems to have calmed down a bit now that everyone is in one place. DM and BlackGhost seem to be up to something near the door.
During this time, Dutch's family shows up for a visit.
BlackGhost continues his angry tirade, this time bitching about how tired he is.
Later on, as the late Free Time period is about to end and dinner approaches, a guard gets an anonymous tip. A search is ordered for DM's cell.
Everyone heads off to dinner as the guard begins looking through DM's area.
An escape tunnel is discovered! Looks like it almost reached beyond the wall to boot.
A spoon is discovered in the bed. DM apparently has been busy during sleep hours to dig that much with a spoon.
After searching DM directly, he's cuffed and is put in lockdown in his cell for 4 hours.
Workers arrive to repair the tunnel.
As a result of the discover in DM's cell, the warden orders the entire cell block to be searched as dinner service ends.
The guards begin their search. There's a good chance they'll likely find something given the lack of guards, metal detectors, and frequent family visitors. Who will end up caught next?
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In the next post we'll reveal what the guards uncover during their search of the cell block.
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Reminder - For anyone wanting to see the master list of who's in the game, who needs more in-depth prison bios, and info on how to get your name on the list or more info for your character, go to this post:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=96106213&postcount=15013
And as always, all images and posts are being archived here: https://xianaphryz.imgur.com
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Buckethead
Banned
She's no Giselle either.
You dang Patriot fans have no taste. When she's gone, Boston will be without the prettiest goddamn lady in the entire world. And she's going to take Giselle with her.
Such a tragedy. ;'(
You dang Patriot fans have no taste. When she's gone, Boston will be without the prettiest goddamn lady in the entire world. And she's going to take Giselle with her.
Such a tragedy. ;'(
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
I wonder who the snitch is.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Gata. Even if he's not there. It's Gata.
GM For A Day: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
w/Lovie in charge, it's almost a lock he will keep Glennon, simply b/c he will want to draft a defensive player in the first round
w/Lovie in charge, it's almost a lock he will keep Glennon, simply b/c he will want to draft a defensive player in the first round
DeMarcus Ware To undergo elbow surgery.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap20...boys-demarcus-ware-will-undergo-elbow-surgery
There would be times during a game Ware would have to come out because he would lose feeling in his right arm. They called it a stinger. Hopefully surgery resolves this issue and he is able to perform for whatever team signs him next season. I have a strong feeling Ware will be a cap causality this offseason. He is costing the Cowboys too much and he is at the age where pass rushers only achieve a percentage of their peak production.
Image from Jonathan Bales:
If he is let go, hopefully he goes to a contender, and is used in a role that can help maintain his health. Injuries took a toll on him the past few seasons.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap20...boys-demarcus-ware-will-undergo-elbow-surgery
There would be times during a game Ware would have to come out because he would lose feeling in his right arm. They called it a stinger. Hopefully surgery resolves this issue and he is able to perform for whatever team signs him next season. I have a strong feeling Ware will be a cap causality this offseason. He is costing the Cowboys too much and he is at the age where pass rushers only achieve a percentage of their peak production.
Image from Jonathan Bales:
If he is let go, hopefully he goes to a contender, and is used in a role that can help maintain his health. Injuries took a toll on him the past few seasons.
Always felt Arians was under appreciated, to an extent, in Pitt. He got Luck killed last year, but how much better was that offense last year vs this year? The man has his short comings but he's going down swinging, even if it gets his QB killed, lol.
He has to have a gunslinger QB. Guy who isn't afraid to throw INTs. He could never work with Tannehill or Alex Smith. But I love the way they play. I get sick of watching risk adverse offense
The Artful Dodger
Member
Yeah. Nowadays it seems everyone is afraid to throw an INT and oftentimes that's immediately blamed as the reason for the loss. It's a setback but its not always the reason a team loses.
FrenchMovieTheme
Member
He truly is the modern mike martz
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
In any case, prison tension should be high in the near future!
Mike was waaaaay too rigid. Run the play that's called, nothing else. Arians throws his QBs in the deep end if the pool and expects them to call the protections and audible when necessary. No Chip Kelly preschool QBs
DeaconKnowledge
Member
Before I even clicked I knew Gerry Dulac wrote it. He is miles up Arians' ass.
I liked Arians up until his departure, but he has two major faults that follow him everywhere. The first has been done to death, but the second: Running game disappears. He loves blocking Tight Ends and hates play action, so his run plays are easy to sniff out. While he's a creative pass play designer his runs sets and plays are vanilla - tons of runs between the tackles. I still feel he ruined Mendenhall's career.
FrenchMovieTheme
Member
i needs to get into your jail community and cause a ruckus xia!
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
I'm saving you for the max security wing.
Exactly. I've watched enough shit ball to last me another decade. Air it the fuck out!
Edit: I love the addition of Pepper Johnson to the Bills. He is one cocky dude, fucking love it.
You're right about his run game DK, shitty as hell.
So Houston will go into next season with Weeden AND Schoob?
Or Cassell. Thought is that in the top 5, you don't reach for need. Take the special player. I can't believe the Texans wouldn't be scared of another Mario, though, so who knows? But Robinson and Clowney separate themselves from the rest as far as upside.
Dutch Gronk
Banned
I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! YES!
Also, rioting is perfect. High odds of shiftlessness.
This stuff is so much fun, you can see that DM his love for Shawshank is making him do this.
DeaconKnowledge
Member
You feel the Texans don't think any QB in this draft is special?
If they define special as Andrew Luck, they'll be waiting a long time.
Dutch Gronk
Banned
Remember Rors, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.
You could also define Stafford as the last "special" #1 can't miss prospect.
I remember the Class of 2009 Draft class and people actually debating for the first few seasons afterwards that Sanchez and Freeman were better than Stafford. Fun times.
I just think BoB is like Arians where he has an ideal QB type that he will not stray from, so Teddy and JFF are off the board. I imagine they would love to trade down for a ransom, but it's very rare for teams to trade the first pick. I think it's Clowney if they stay put
My guess, just for fun, Clowney, JFF (trade), Teddy, Robinson, Sammy
Perfect.
:kas
DeaconKnowledge
Member
I hope you're wrong. Need a ton of QB's to go in the top 10.
On the other hand, Drowney for Clowney. Right Mech?
You are misspelling Bradford. He would have gone first in 2009. The Detroit media even asked him a couple of years ago if he stayed in school to avoid the Lions
http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/sto...thew-stafford-lions-rams-2010-oklahoma-senior
I do think Bortles will go top 10. Carr, idk. That would be an EJ Manuel type reach, to me. He's sooooo skittish when he gets pressure. The other 3 handle it pretty well
Teddy fits BOBs wants in a QB to a T except for the size. He is smart, accurate and is dedicated to the game and team.
No one really knows what they will do. Haven't talked to anyone yet. I still have this weird, gut feeling TJ will survive the blood that will be spilled when they start cutting players. GUy hasn't been mentioned but I can see BOB working with him as competition for whoever he drafts.
I would say based on Mario they won't touch Clowney.
...
Stafford is a can miss prospect. Sanchez's first two seasons were more successful than Matt's. Oh and since you brought up Josh, I'll let the numbers speak for themselves:
Matthew:
http://m.pfref.com/m?p=XXplayersXXSXXStafMa00.htm&t=0
Josh:
http://m.pfref.com/m?p=XXplayersXXFXXFreeJo00.htm&t=0
The Andrew Luck ended with Russell Wilson winning a Super Bowl. He has more wins than any QB in history during his first two years. That's once in a generation talent. <--- See what I did there? That's can't miss potential.
For the record, Matf is a serviceable starting QB. However, he's replaceable. Shaun Hill (still collecting checke) had a good run as a starter.
In closing, Brandon Weeden is available for a box of fleshlights. I told everyone he was Chris Weinke 2.0.
good thing wussle ended up on the seahawks then.
no way he does that on a team not a qb away from winning the superbowl-
or a competent mobile qb for that matter.
The stats do speak for themselves and Staffords' are far superior. Stafford was hurt his first two seasons, and took over the worst team in NFL history at 21. Look at 2011 plus. You put Stafford on those Jets teams with that running game and defense and the Jets win a Superbowl.
squick: You're actually right about Bradford. Thought he was going to be a can't miss prospect. IMO his ceiling is superior Alex Smith game manager. Staffords' ceiling is becoming an elite QB (and proved that in 2011). QB greats like Steve Young agree with me. Doubt they'd say the same about Bradford in this point in his career.
... Everything you typed is nice but let's keep it reality. The "can't miss, once-in-a-generation young QBs" couldn't make it to the Super Bowl. Let's not pretend it's easy for a Quarterback to have Russell's efficiency. Quarterback wasn't a position of weakness for the Seahawks unlike in years past. You make it sound like Russell was the punter. If it's so easy to QB that team to a Super Bowl victory then how come no one else accomplished it?
Give Mark Sanchez Calvin Johnson and Suh. We'd never hear the end of the Jets super bowl victory. In other words, give any of QBs still in the league Calvin Johnson and that defense and watch them duplicate and surpass, in most instances, Matt's success. I'm not harping on Matt because he's a legit starter that gives your team a chance to win. If you can revise history for Matt then I can do it for Mark. Give Josh the gunslinger label and Calvin Johnson and watch him surpass Matt's numbers as well.
Chuck and Chud are bros from the U days, but it sure seems to undermine Pep. Grigson just has to prove himself again. People forget how well he did in 2012 b/c Ballard and Allen were hurt.
Fix the defense and have Luck running for his life again, or fix the OL and have him in 40-35 shootouts every week?
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