Right now Nineve is the only thing I hate about the books.
I wasn't in the heat last year either, ask Darkest how I did on projecting the Dolphins in 2013. I don't remember the record I said they'd have but I do remember quoting myself often for being so prescient.
Problem is they are ranking the dolphins as the 2nd worst team in the league...which is just laughable. The dolphins are about as middle of the road as you can get, look at their last 4 seasons 7-9,6-10,7-9,8-8. There are a bunch of other teams in far worse shape then the dolphins, even in the afc east we aren't the worst team.
Wife is making fried chicken later this week. Her fried chicken is so good it can bring a tear to your eye.
Been grilling a lot this summer. Made a lot of burgers and also grilled some sheesh kabobs (no idea how to spell this). Love those kabobs, the grilled veggies with spicy chicken are an amazing combo. Out of steaks. Our butcher died and his son gave us shitty steak meat (burger meat was better than ever though). Looking for a good replacement. Other than just having a nice steak, steaks on kebobs are even better than the chicken versions!
Problem is they are ranking the dolphins as the 2nd worst team in the league...which is just laughable. The dolphins are about as middle of the road as you can get, look at their last 4 seasons 7-9,6-10,7-9,8-8. There are a bunch of other teams in far worse shape then the dolphins, even in the afc east we aren't the worst team.
Oh I don't care what they say, I don't take those rankings seriously. I just like attitude wallace (and the rest of the team) is taking with these rankings, hopefully it fires them up because philbin sucks at it.
Oh I don't care what they say, I don't take those rankings seriously. I just like attitude wallace (and the rest of the team) is taking with these rankings, hopefully it fires them up because philbin sucks at it.
Wife is making fried chicken later this week. Her fried chicken is so good it can bring a tear to your eye.
Been grilling a lot this summer. Made a lot of burgers and also grilled some sheesh kabobs (no idea how to spell this). Love those kabobs, the grilled veggies with spicy chicken are an amazing combo. Out of steaks. Our butcher died and his son gave us shitty steak meat (burger meat was better than ever though). Looking for a good replacement. Other than just having a nice steak, steaks on kebobs are even better than the chicken versions!
I've been making Mediterranean chicken Kabobs all summer. Never really knew you can use yogurt instead of oil as the base for marinates. It's the bomb.
If Miami is worse than the Jets or Bills they underachieved yet again.
When Papa Joe Philbin took over as Dolphins head coach in 2012 the team was coming off of a disappointing 6-10 season. During his first year on the job Joe put the team on an instant path to improvement as they finished strong at 7-9. The rocket ship to success didn't stop there however, as Joe followed up this season with an overwhelmingly incredible 8-8 finish the following year. As anyone with a first grade education can tell you there is clearly a pattern here, and (spoilers)
it scientifically proves that the Dolphins will finish the 2014 season at 9-7, likely good enough for a playoff spot in the doodoo AFC East.
So, how will the Dolphins get there? Read on to find out.
Offense
The 2014 Dolphins offense will be orchestrated by magician Bill Lazor, the mastermind behind the creation of the juggernaut version of Nick Foles. Expect Lazor's offense to feature lots of screens, short passes and shifty Chip Kelly-esque runs, along with a bit of read-option. This will be a big change for QB Ryan Tannehill, who has only played under one offensive system and coordinator (RIP Mike Sherman) during his time as QB.
OL Branden Albert, JaWuan James, Shelley Smith, Daryn Cooledge, Sam Brenner, Dallas Thomas, Mike Pouncey, other warm bodies
The Dolphins offense starts and [mostly] stops with the offensive line. In 2013 the Dolphins managed to field the worst offensive line in franchise history. Highlights include a franchise record 58 sacks allowed and a rushing performance against the Bucs of 2 yards during the entire course of the game.
In week one of the 2014 season the Dolphins o-line will feature five new starters, as GM Dennis Captain Smooth Hickey has been doing major work in this area. JuWuan James, the Dolphins first pick in the 2014 draft, will start at RT, with big FA acquisition Brandon Albert holding down the LT spot. Second year player Dallas Thomas and Daryn Who the F? Colledge look to be the starting Gs. Mike Enough Said Pouncey is the only returning starter for the Dolphins o-line, but he will miss the start of the season and possibly up to the first half, so some non-center like Shelly Smith will be the starting center.
In short, improvement maybe?
QB Ryan Tannehill, Matt Moore, Pat Devlin
2014 is a huge year for QB Ryan Tannehill, who comes into his third season needing to prove once and for all that he is the long term solution for the Dolphins at the Dan Marino position. Tannehill has been solid if not spectacular in his first two years, leading the team to a mediocre 15-17 record.
During his first two seasons Tannehill has shown that he possesses the physical characteristics needed in a studly QB, but his development stalled somewhat during the 2013 season thanks to a CFL quality o-line, a nonexistent running game, the occasional bad decision, and problems with deep ball accuracy. In order for Tannehill to take the Next Step® he will need to improve substantially in these areas, while also continuing to develop chemistry with Michael Tedd Ginn 2.0/Money Wallace.
Matt Moore will continue his role as the best backup QB in the NFL.
In summary, the best Texas A&M QB either finally getting some attention or getting sacked 50+ times again.
RB Lamar Miller, Knowshon Moreno, Daniel Thomas, Damien Wiliams
RB continues to be a question mark for the Dolphins going into the 2014 season. Miller remains the clear starter but his 2013 season was somewhat disappointing, thanks in large part to the horrid o-line. Expect to see Miller used in the passing game a lot more this year thanks to Lazors new offense and Millers quickness and potential explosiveness. RB Daniel Molasses Feet Thomas is still on the roster somehow, and Knowshon Moreno was added in free agency. Moreno will miss some time early in the season as he recovers from surgery, but he will hopefully help with the Dolphins dreadful pass protection once he has recovered.
In summary, who cares about RBs anymore.
TE Charles Clay, Michael Egnew, Dion Sims, Arthur Lynch
2013 saw the emergence of Charles The Real Clay Clay as a legitimate playmaker at the TE position. Expect to see his chemistry with Tannehill continue to develop as their second season together progresses. Second year player Dion Sims will look to get more playing time this season as well, and Michael Wasted Roster Spot Egnew will continue to exist and take up space occasionally.
In summary, Charles Clay running beautiful seam routes and being way too fast for a tight end.
WR - Mike Wallace, Brian Hartline, Brandon Gibson, Rishard Matthews, Jarvis Landry
The Dolphins spend a lot of money on the WR position. Its dumb and also pretty laughable, but at least they arent the Panthers. Mike Wallace leads the charge once again this season (as long as the charge doesnt take him into traffic), with Brian White Hot Chemistry Hartline returning at the number 2 spot. Brandon Gibson returns from a season ending injury in 2013 after showing some promising development in the slot position. Rookie WR Jarvis Landry will be a potential stud to keep your eye on, as he is well known for his excellent hands and route running.
In summary, Mike Wallace running really fast in a straight line, slowing down for an underthrown pass, and falling down when a CBs pinky touches his back. Also, Brian Hartline running an excellent curl route.
Defense
Kevin Consistent Decline Coyle returns for his third season as the Dolphins defensive coordinator and will look to finally produce a defense that is as good as the defense that existed before he joined the team. But trust me guys, 4-3 is totally the answer! Look for more bad LB play and Louis Delmas getting beat deep a lot.
DL Cameron freaking Wake, Olivier Vernon, Randy Starks, Earl Mitchell, Jared Odrick, Derrick Shelby, Dion Jordan, other dudes
Ah, here we are, one of the few known strengths of the Dolphins. Cameron Omega Brady Buster Wake returns to sack people a lot, with support from budding star Olivier Vernon. Third overall pick of the 2013 draft Dion Jordan will miss 4 games due to acting like a Seahawk, but at least he will be healthy and big when he makes his return. The interior d-line took a hit with the loss of Paul Immovable Object Soliai, but FA acquisition Earl Half a Watt Mitchell comes over from the Texans to hopefully plug that hole, if you will. Lots of depth and explosive sacking ability all around so expect this unit to continue to be a strength for the Dolphins.
In summary,
LB Dannell Ellerbe, Koa Misi, Phillip Wheeler, Jason Trusnik, Jelani Jenkins, Jordan Trip, other dudes
2013 saw a completely revamped LB corps for the Dolphins with big FA acquisitions Dannell Ellerbe and Phillip Wheeler. Well, it turns out those guys kind of suck and the Dolphins paid them too much to get rid of them, so here we are in 2014. Maybe we can take Misi and put him at MLB so we can put Ellerbee at OLB to kind of forget about him? I dont know, sounds like a plan I guess.
In happier news, the Dolphins added rookie Jordan Tripp to the LB group, a studly LB beaming with positive intangibles like leadership, intelligence, hustle, and other traditionally Kuechly-like qualities.
In summary, Ellerbe backpedaling and Wheeler getting burned by TEs.
S Reshad Jones, Louis Delmas, Jimmy Wilson, Michael Thomas
This year the Dolphins safety group will be all about athleticism and raw play-making ability, at the expense of actually being able to cover receivers. Louis Delmas joins the group as a starter after being rescued from Detroit, and Michal Tammy Smash Thomas hopes to grow into a more productive role after being acquired as a free agent during the middle of the 2013 season.
In summary, Delmas hitting people illegally and missing assignments.
CB Brent Grimes, Cortland Finnegan, Jamar Taylor, Will Davis, Walt Aikens
CB will be one of the most interesting groups to watch for the Dolphins in 2014. Returning all-star Brent Grimes will continue to lock down the number one spot, while veteran piece of garbage Cortland Piece of Garbage Finnegan will battle with second year player Jamar Taylor for the second CB position. Taylor and Davis are both part of the Dolphins disappointing 2013 draft class, but each suffered from injuries during their rookie seasons, so expect to see them contribute in much more meaningful ways in 2014. Also, keep an eye on rookie Walt Aikens, a small school player with a lot of potential.
In summary, me yelling at the TV over and over about how abysmally awful Cortland Finnegan is at doing anything expected of a semi-competent cornerback.
K/P Caleb Sturgis, Brandon Fields
Whatever. Stop missing big kicks, Caleb.
So there you have it, the Dolphins 2014 season in a disturbingly large coconut nutshell. Expect big things.
tl;dr: Philbin will look dead inside for 16 games as the Dolphins sloppily make their way towards a 9-7 finish. Tannehill will have a breakout year if he isnt broken a few weeks into the season.
just got back from making a run to the asian market for some tea but they had mangosteens! I havent had mangosteens in a while (its a late summer fruit and pretty rare)
The d actually got arrested for punching a pregnant woman and pushing her down the stairs. Luckily Goodell thought that wasn't as bad as smoking a blunt and only suspended them for two hours.
Ian Rapoport ‏@RapSheet · 6m
So Belichick. RT @HoustonTexans: "I don't think those are life threatening injuries. Those guys will be back." -O'Brien on Johnson/Foster
Ian Rapoport ‏@RapSheet · 6m
So Belichick. RT @HoustonTexans: "I don't think those are life threatening injuries. Those guys will be back." -O'Brien on Johnson/Foster
Right now Nineve is the only thing I hate about the books.
I wasn't in the heat last year either, ask Darkest how I did on projecting the Dolphins in 2013. I don't remember the record I said they'd have but I do remember quoting myself often for being so prescient.
The books becomes a real parade of cunts in the next few books.
If you think Nyaeve is annoying just wait to see what the other bitches morph into as the books progress.
Jordan's writing of women is usually so annoying that I sometimes miss Martin's writing where he graphically describes the joys of insert the cock into the cunt.
Speaking of fantasy any of you nerds ever go to Comic Con? Seems like it would be a lot of fun. Looking at the pictures there are also a ton of hot girls who go there. Are these girls actually nerds or are they just models desperate for attention?
I've been making Mediterranean chicken Kabobs all summer. Never really knew you can use yogurt instead of oil as the base for marinates. It's the bomb.
If Miami is worse than the Jets or Bills they underachieved yet again.
My friends often get good meat at the chains too. You can get shit there too just like at a butcher.
I don't know why, I just prefer going to a butcher for my red meat needs. My soon to be former butcher packaged that shit like a motherfucker too. Way better than the packaging @ Giant and Wegmans.
With Carroll you would think it couldn't get any worse... But I fear he was only the harbinger of true CB garbage play. I really hope the top three are Grimes, Taylor, and Davis but I don't know if the young guys are good enough.
just got back from making a run to the asian market for some tea but they had mangosteens! I havent had mangosteens in a while (its a late summer fruit and pretty rare)
Pats fans don't deserve delicious kabobs. You bitches should stick to English food. Shepherds pie and Long John Silvers (LJS) all day, everyday.
Its what you are about and what you deserve.
My friends often get good meat at the chains too. You can get shit there too just like at a butcher.
I don't know why, I just prefer going to a butcher for my red meat needs. My soon to be former butcher packaged that shit like a motherfucker too. Way better than the packaging @ Giant and Wegmans.
Sometimes I have to go to a few different stores to get quality meat, either they run out of the good stuff or the cuts are bad, it would be nice to have a guy I could trust.
With Carroll you would think it couldn't get any worse... But I fear he was only the harbinger of true CB garbage play. I really hope the top three are Grimes, Taylor, and Davis but I don't know if the young guys are good enough.
I've heard great things about Taylor in camp so far, hopefully he takes that starting spot from Courtlan...I'd forgive a 2nd year player a lot more easily then a washed up vet.
You need to build a rapport with your butcher. They'll take care of you, if you go to a super market butcher, go in the mornings as that's when the head butcher will be in cutting shit.
I can already see the young dude (let's name him Gata) who gets tricked by the cashier into "buying" a shitload of games and ending up in a jam because he doesn't know credit.
Pâté Chinois is not a Chinese recipe. It may simply be an adaption of "Shepherd's Pie", but one possible explanation for the Chinese reference is that it was introduced to Canadian railway workers by Chinese cooks during the building of the North American railroads in the late 19th century.[citation needed] These cooks made it under instruction from the railway bosses (of English extraction) as an easily-prepared, inexpensive version of the popular cottage pie, with the sauce in the tinned creamed-corn serving as a substitute for the gravy.
I can already see the young dude (let's name him Gata) who gets tricked by the cashier into "buying" a shitload of games and ending up in a jam because he doesn't know credit.
I can already see the young dude (let's name him Gata) who gets tricked by the cashier into "buying" a shitload of games and ending up in a jam because he doesn't know credit.
You need to build a rapport with your butcher. They'll take care of you, if you go to a super market butcher, go in the mornings as that's when the head butcher will be in cutting shit.
That 27% interest rate tells me that whatever bank is backing this knows exactly what kind of people they're dealing with. It's a circular thing, it's not that the interest rate is high to screw you over, it's to protect themselves knowing that these are high risk customers....who will get screwed over if they aren't responsible.
Vault is a hell of a lot better than the crappy old season ticket they used to do. Don't think its worth it myself because who plays old sports games? But its still an okay value now.
