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[Quick]

So, uh, someone wrote a fanfic about Smash-GAF.

Now I'm wondering if an NHL-GAF fanfic exists somewhere in the bowels of the Internet.

Smiley90: White Smile.

 

[Smiley90]

Smiley90: White Smile.

Puckkake

 

[jello44]

So, uh, someone wrote a fanfic about Smash-GAF.

Now I'm wondering if an NHL-GAF fanfic exists somewhere in the bowels of the Internet.

I can't imagine it being serious.

I doubt there is an NHL-GAF one, but it would have to be written by Don Quick.

 

[zroid]

I doubt there is an NHL-GAF one, but it would have to be written by Don Quick.

Well that is really the only way it could ever be considered acceptable for human consumption

 

[Calamari41]

Jesus Christ, how long did they ban Dastardly for? Didn't he just tell someone they were a pussy for going out of their way to angrily hate on some movie or game? I only got a week for the same thing.

We're going to have one hell of a catch-up post on our hands when he is unshackled.

Also, Giggzy, you have to look at the bright side: Dallas fans, for some reason, hate the Ducks more than any other team. Probably because of the bloody curbs. Anyway, you can get a magnificent reaction just by wearing a Corey Perry jersey to every Stars game, whether the Ducks are visiting or not. You might even flush out kingslunk for a final 1 on 1 bout in the parking lot to end it all.

 

[Giggzy]

LOL I only have a Selanne jersey, but I will definitely be getting a Perry kit for that reason alone

 

[SmackCrackleNPop]

Dudes,

I may be joining the wonderful kingslunk soon. I may be relocating to Austin, TX for my job and to continue my schooling.

Will have to go Dallas to watch the ducks live

I'll find out for sure soon. It'll be a pay bump and better opportunities to advance further, so I will take it if offered.

If you shove each other, I'm going to call coincidental minors. He will insist it was a fight. We will all tell him it was not.

Damn right I am! Saving up for a Surface Pro 3 too!

Bill Gates is all up in me!

I thought it'd bother me too but all I really do is surf gaf, twitter, and occasionally facebook.

Got a friend everyone calls Michaelsoft for owning all the MS consoles, Windows Phones, Surface RTs and Surface Pros. Plus various Dell laptops.

He's a tool though. Was a Heat fan and now he roots for the Cavs. Rooted for the Sens when they faced Anaheim for the Cup just to piss me off.

 

[Quick]

I doubt there is an NHL-GAF one, but it would have to be written by Don Quick.

Well that is really the only way it could ever be considered acceptable for human consumption

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OKAY LET'S GO

NOW, YOU FOLKS KNOW I LIKE TO WRITE. TWITTER AIN'T ENOUGH FOR MY WRITIN' Y'KNOW. WHY'D THEY LIMIT PEOPLE TO 120 CHARACTERS? THAT AIN'T CANADIAN. THAT'S COMMUNIST STUFF. IRONIC THAT I'M ON IT, BUT I GOTTA GET THE WORD OUT TO THE PEOPLE, EH?

ANYHOW, THIS HERE'S SOME FAN FICTION I WROTE UP, EH. REAL CANADIAN, GILLER PRIZE WINNER-TYPE STUFF, EH.

SO YOU KNOW THAT EURO TRASH SMILEY90, EH. FIRST OFF, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT NAME? HE'S SMILIN' ALL THE TIME? WHAT A WHACKO. THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF WEIRD STUFF EUROPEENS DO, EH. ANYHOW.

SO YOU GOT SMILEY WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET, AN' HE BUMPED INTO THIS FUNNY-LOOKIN' GUY NAMED ZEER0ID, EH. ZEER0ID'S FUNNY LOOKIN' AN HE DON'T PLAY THE RIGHT WAY, EH. ANYHOW.

THEY BUMP INTO EACH OTHER, EH. THEN ZEER0ID TELLS SMILEY, HE SAYS, "EY SMILEY, I DON'T PLAY THE RIGHT WAY, YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU GOOD CANADIAN STUFF, EH?"

AN' SMILEY'S TELLS HIM, "YEAH, ZEER0ID, I'D LOVE THAT, EH. YOU KNOW, I'M TRYIN' NOT TO BE A EUROPEEN, BUT IT'S HARD, EH. I GOT THE FUNNY HAIR, THE FUNNY FACE, AN' I TALK FUNNY, LIKE A EUROPEEN, EH. IT'S TOUGH, EH. WHADDYA HAVE IN MIND?"

ZEER0ID BRINGS HIM TO A BATHROOM, EH, TELLS HIM TO SIT DOWN ON THE TOILET, EH. AN' SMILEY DOES IT, 'CAUSE EUROPEENS JUST FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS.

THINGS GOT REAL HOT AN' HEAVY WHEN ZEER0ID TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF, EH. HE GETS REAL CLOSE TO SMILEY, WE'RE TALKIN' PERSONAL SPACE CLOSE, FOLKS.

AN' HE SHOWS SMILEY A TATTOO OF A PAGE FROM THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO ON HIS CHEST. HE ACTUALLY LURED SMILEY INTO COMMUNISM. ZEER0ID LIT SOME CANDLES, HUNG UP SOME PICTURES OF STALIN, AN' STARTED PRAYIN', EH. TOLD SMILEY TO DO THE SAME.

JUST WHEN SMILEY WAS 'BOUT TO KNEEL AN' OPEN HIS MOUTH TO ACCEPT THAT COMMUNIST LOAD, TUSR RAN IN THE BATHROOM, TOOK HIS SHOES OFF 'CAUSE GOOD CANADIAN KIDS TAKE THEIR SHOES OFF WHEN THERE'S CARPET, EH, AN' SOCKED ZEER0ID RIGHT IN THE MOUTH.

"THAT AIN'T CANADIAN, EH. THAT AIN'T CANADIAN, YA UGLY SONOFABITCH," HE YELLED OUT, EH.

"DAMN YOU, TUSR, CAN'T YOU ACCEPT MOTHER RUSSIA IN YOUR HEART?" YELLED ZEER0ID BACK.

"THAT AIN'T THE WAY TO LIVE, LET ME TELL YOU. TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, WASH YOUR HANDS, AN' SING THE CANADIAN ANTHEM!" COMMANDED TUSR.

ZEER0ID WAS OVERCOME WITH SO MUCH CANADIAN THAT HE STARTED CRYIN' ON THE SPOT, TOOK HIS SHOES OFF, WASHED HIS HANDS, TORE OFF THE PART OF HIS SKIN WITH THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO TATTOO, AN' STARTED SINGIN' THE CANADIAN ANTHEM.

THIS IS THE PART WHERE I STARTED TEARIN' UP, LET ME TELL YOU FOLKS:

TUSR CAME UP TO SMILEY, EH. WIPED THE COMMUNISM FROM HIS FACE, AN' SENT HM BACK TO SWEDEN. "COME BACK WHEN YOU START PLAYIN' THE RIGHT WAY, EH," SAID TUSR REAL CANADIAN-LIKE. AN' TUSR OPENED UP A CAN OF MOLSON CANADIAN, SAT DOWN WITH HIS FRIENDS, AN' WATCHED HOCKEY THE ENTIRE DAY WHILE ZEER0ID DEPORTED HIMSELF BACK TO RUSSIA, EH.

THE END.

 

[Smiley90]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry now.

 

[shadowkat]

LMAO

Best fan fic ever.



........but why is there carpet in the bathroom?

 

[TUSR]

jesus christ haha

i deported smelly

 

[zroid]

AN' HE SHOWS SMILEY A TATTOO OF A PAGE FROM THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO ON HIS CHEST. HE ACTUALLY LURED SMILEY INTO COMMUNISM. ZEER0ID LIT SOME CANDLES, HUNG UP SOME PICTURES OF STALIN, AN' STARTED PRAYIN', EH. TOLD SMILEY TO DO THE SAME.

I've made a huge mistake

 

[TUSR]

I've made a huge mistake

JUST WHEN SMILEY WAS 'BOUT TO KNEEL AN' OPEN HIS MOUTH TO ACCEPT THAT COMMUNIST LOAD

 

[RC]

But Quick, TUSR watches anime. That's not Canadian.

 

[Acid08]

Now we just need an artist to collab with Quick and we can get some doujins going.

 

[zedge]

:lol.

 

[Smiley90]

Now we just need an artist to collab with Quick and we can get some doujins going.

 

[Pickles the Firecat]

I wonder if this junior will post here during the regular season

Spoiler

lolno

Please let this mans avatar be Cartman.

 

[Socreges]

I have an Android phone, a Windows computer, a WiiU, a PS3 and will soon have an iPad (gifted).

lol corporate loyals

 

[SpectreFire]

http://instagram.com/p/rsS8eZs7mz/

Goddamn Shawn Matthias.

 

[Unhandled Exception]

Like we need more ugly Avs fans posting in here.

 

[Socreges]

http://instagram.com/p/rsS8eZs7mz/

Goddamn Shawn Matthias.

He must work out.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Been awhile since the last Don Quick

No mention of Gilmour or Bahby Orr?!

 

[FUBAR McDangles]

If anyone wants a spare code for Pool Nation or Franchise Hockey Manager, let me know... bought the bundle anyway and already owned those 2 :lol

Well I mean if nobody else took them...

 

[SCHUEY F1]

I have an Android phone, a Windows computer, a WiiU, a PS3 and will soon have an iPad (gifted).

lol corporate loyals

Impressive. I'm thinking of contacting the Verge to tell them your story. A Renaissance Man in the Digital Era.

 

[lamaroo]

Now that's a beautiful story to wake up to.

 

[Calamari41]

Please let this mans avatar be Cartman.

This man??? Why does the poster in question have to be a man??? I can't say I'm surprised by this H8ful behavior. Turns out you're just another womyn-hating gear in the masculonormative cis-machine of the patriarchy that's killing the Earth Mother.

 

[Samyy]

RIP extraskater.com
Seems like the dude got hired or something and took the site down.

 

[Red_Man]

If my last use of extraskater was to argue Suters status as a top 10 D man, I'll be disappointed.

RIP extraskater.com
Seems like the dude got hired or something and took the site down.

This is where Dopeystats come in.

 

[Curufinwe]

Well that sucks.

I just used it yesterday to refute an idiot who claimed Ryan White took more penalties than Rinaldo.

 

[Samyy]

Also Leaf's fired their PR director.
If he is the dude behind the whole #seaofblue shit then good riddance.

 

[zroid]

RIP extraskater.com
Seems like the dude got hired or something and took the site down.

holy shit... that sucks

 

[Red_Man]

For Detroit fans, a Montreal radio guy just tweeted this:

KEN HOLLAND tells me Anthony Mantha will be given every opportunity to make the Red Wings this season, ideally in a top 6 role, maybe top 9.

I'm assuming he had him on his show today, I wasn't listening.

On Subban:

Asked DET RW GM Ken Holland about PK Subban's 8yr $72m deal. His reply ''With cap going up Subban got what players of his caliber deserve".

 

[KernelPanic]

RIP extraskater.com
Seems like the dude got hired or something and took the site down.

NHL has some new TOS, maybe he got in shit for that.

 

[Dubbedinenglish]

RIP extraskater.com
Seems like the dude got hired or something and took the site down.

What?!? Sucks.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Also Leaf's fired their PR director.
If he is the dude behind the whole #seaofblue shit then good riddance.

It was pretty funny.

 

[DopeyFish]

NHL has some new TOS, maybe he got in shit for that.

GOD DAMNIT

Dopeystats just became more difficult nooooo

 

[Razorskin]

RIP extraskater.com
Seems like the dude got hired or something and took the site down.

Well advanced stats had a good run.

 

[TUSR]

GOD DAMNIT

Dopeystats just became more difficult nooooo

they just saved you a lot of time.

 

[DopeyFish]

they just saved you a lot of time.

Not really.

My Adv stats are still getting done eventually. I just have to watch the games and manually flag shots instead of going to them directly.

Also i was relying on nhl.com for the TOI/shift pattern data

But maybe because i'm entering the data per game, it'll be something i'll get away with...

 

[Dubbedinenglish]

Surprised we haven't seen major publications jump on the stats wagon. Teams are hiring guys, you would think TSN et all would acquire some of these guys.

 

[Razorskin]

Surprised we haven't seen major publications jump on the stats wagon. Teams are hiring guys, you would think TSN et all would acquire some of these guys.

Y'all need Dopeystats.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Surprised we haven't seen major publications jump on the stats wagon. Teams are hiring guys, you would think TSN et all would acquire some of these guys.

If Rogers lets them get games in...

So, what does that message mean exactly? You can't use the NHL.com database for crunching stats? Dopey could still do it live per game and reference against the data on NHL.com, no? Bit confused...

 

[Red_Man]

Surprised we haven't seen major publications jump on the stats wagon. Teams are hiring guys, you would think TSN et all would acquire some of these guys.

They've shown advanced stats on TSN broadcast last season. Michael Johnson specifically is very interested in stats.

 

[Curufinwe]

There's still these guys.

http://stats.hockeyanalysis.com/

http://behindthenet.ca/

 

[Marvie_3]

Well advanced stats had a good run.

Not really. Shot differential will still be easy to find.

 

[lamaroo]

At least we'll always have Clearsi.

 

[Samyy]

Speculation is that someone may have bought the website. NHL is not issuing cease and desist orders as a result of their new policies.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Speculation is that someone may have bought the website. NHL is not issuing cease and desist orders as a result of their new policies.

I'm not sure why they would even do a C&D though...

 

[Merguson]

Speculation is that someone may have bought the website. NHL is not issuing cease and desist orders as a result of their new policies.

Conspiracy by the players to hide evidence of their play through advanced stats. You heard it here first.