Suiciding your weak hand is bad advice. Here's the proper sequence of events to almost always win at Platoon (I have over 2 million chips):
1) If you have a Wizard, pair it with your lowest non-Bishop card.
2) Place all Bishop cards alone.
3) Place all King cards alone.
4) Create one stack that has a value of exactly 10.
5) Create numerical stacks with the rest of what you have; it's good to have one above 30 if you can afford it with a good hand.
Playing the game:
1) The AI always puts special cards to the left, and numerical cards to the right. IIRC the order for face cards goes Wizards+Bishops, Bishops, Wizards, and then Kings if the AI has them.
2) A right-ish stack of one card is always going to be a numerical card in the 1-9 range; I've never seen a 10-value card. Play your 10-value card against it. This is basically your "easy win" that costs you the least amount of card value.
3) If you have a King, always play it against a stack on the right to eliminate the chance of hitting a Wizard, Bishop, or King+numbers stack.
4) If you have a Wizard+low card, play it against a 2-card number stack to reduce your chance of having to fight a Wizard or Bishop (Wizard+Bishop is fine, though).
5) Play your 20+value stack against a 2-stack; if there's a numerical stack that you clearly can't beat with your value stack, try to use a King or Wizard+low card to beat that.
Remember that you need to win 3 exchanges, and this is an aggressive game. Eliminating a big stack with a small stack just gives you one loss while increasing your chances to get randomed out by the AI having better draws on its left-most stacks, and it increases the AI's control over how the "bet" stacks fight, which is something you want to avoid. Focus on the right-most stacks because they will never have surprises in them; go for the sure kills. Then deal with the left stacks when you have to.
If you have an absolutely abysmal hand (2 Jokers and a bunch of low number cards), your best bet is to create a 10-value stack, a 20+-value stack, and three crap-value stacks. Win the exchange with the 10-value stack on your first turn, win an exchange with the 20-value stack on your second turn, and then pray that you hit a Bishop with one of your three crap stacks. Remember that draws are losses in this game.
Even with predictable AI, the game is still random. Sometimes you are just destined to lose. However, I have won matches with draws like Joker, Joker, 2, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8 using the above strategy while the AI had a dream hand. It is possible with smart play, but nothing is guaranteed. You're still gambling.
So I'm getting this game this week, do you have any tips for new players?
If you want the game to stay challenging, avoid Dinoceros and Tokos.