Man there's too many Switch threads i don't know where to post my thoughts after letting this sink in!
I wasn't really excited for this. Ports of games I already own or sequels with the same gameplay had me soured from the rumours days a few months ago. But, i've been a huge fan of Nintendo games since i first played Super Mario Bros 3 at a mates house, when I was about 9 I guess. I own all their systems since, and pretty much all their timeless, classic games and of course I enjoyed them a lot as well. So i remained hopeful something they'd pull out of the bag would interest me, so yeah i'm not embarrassed to say i was still excited to see what they were going to deliver.
The thing that interests me the most is ARMS. An entirely new IP with a cool extension of a simple boxing concept to make something that looks to be quite unique and really fun to play quickly and casually. I'm assuming there's some depth to it's modes to justify it's typical 5980Y though, otherwise i'd have expected it to be around the price of something like Rocket League.
1-2-Switch has been great. Or rather, i should say the videos of people acting like complete idiots with that look of "Yeahhh.... I don't think i'll ever want to play this again" on their face have given me much amusement. And i think that's about all the enjoyment i'd ever get from the game, so that'll do me just fine. Maybe if i feel like playing any of the included minigames i could just imagine doing half of them some time.
Mario .. yeah ok, of course it's going to play great and be super creative. But, i'm sick of Mario. Playing great will have me play through it in a few days like the last few, enjoy my time and shelve it since it's just the same kind of stuff in a different environment with slightly altered physics and controls. At least 3D World had the co-op - which was and still is quite unique amongst that kind of game - which i did enjoy with my wife for some time. I'm not saying i want that again though since i've played that already too.
Zelda .. yeah ok, of course it's going to play great and be super creative. But, i'm sick of Zelda. Well i thought i was until I played Links Awakening (long overdue) and A Link Between Worlds, both on 3DS. What I like about 2D Zelda is the compact level design that at least makes wandering around enjoyable instead of a time consuming bore. I hated Skyward Sword, not because of difficulty with the motion controls but because they reduced the game to tedious combat where before, Zelda enemies were "nuisances". That's not to say i really want another 2D Zelda either, since I haven't played through Minish or Oracle games neither, I could just play those if i had any real desire.
Mario Kart... There doesn't seem to be any confirmation of actual new courses. If there isn't, especially at 5980Y, i'll be pretty shocked. The DLC for 8 was some of the best value around, and so to skimp on new courses here and paywall them behind a damn new machine (instead of more DLC) is just fucking wrong. Battle fucking mode, woopdidoo. I played that like half my childhood on SNES and N64... I was sick of it by then.
Splatoon 2... I like the first game because it was something incredibly fresh and appealing, but truth be told I haven't really ended up playing it as much as i hoped. Online kinda devolved for me into a game of "you're lucky if you end up on the good team".
Those last two, now i'll have to pay if i want to play them online? Yeah sorry, i've played them online already and got bored.
And now a recap, with stepped up negativity.
ARMS. A game i could play on my Wii U perfectly fine. Release a damn Twin Stick peripheral like Sega Saturn if you want, that's cool.
1-2-No fucking chance
Mario. A game i could play on my Wii U perfectly fine, stale old shit.
Zelda. A game i can play on my Wii U in 6 weeks, stale old shit. The guys on Gamexplain referred to this as "the real system seller for me". What in the fuck? I have good news moron, YOU HAVE A SYSTEM THAT PLAYS IT ALREADY!
Mario Kart. A game i can play on my Wii U fucking now. At least i would, if i wasn't bored to death of that shit already.
Splatoon. A game i can play on my Wii U fucking now. I kinda don't want to though
Even when it's free to play online.
I don't give a damn shit about their hardware. Does anyone have any clue what they're doing here? They're playing a gambling game with all of their fans' money. The Wii U was a total failure and now, they're asking us to buy them back into this generation. The Wii U, was underpowered junk when it released in 2012. The PS4 (thankfully i have one of these too) released in 2013, and will most likely outlast the Switch when all is said and done.
Freaking $299? And people are like, comparing it to the PS4 and XB1 price now, as if it's bad. It is bad, but that shit isn't $299, and i'm not talking about the overpriced accessories and online. I'm talking about the other $299 - the price I paid for my Wii U that could play all of these games if not for it being the unceremoniously dumped failure it is, reduced to a door stopper for the last year or so and from March 3 forevermore.
I get it - there's literally no way they could just keep putting out Wii U games. But i'll be damned if i'm gonna spend any amount of money on new tech that can barely scrape past its performance, made all the more obvious by the fact that half the games they're showcasing for Switch ARE Wii U games.
I don't really care about the graphics, i don't need them to put out a PS4 level system - Wii U level is fine for me. Which is exactly why it burns so hard that i have a perfectly capable system about to rot away into insignificance. They don't need a PS4 level system - shit like Rise of the Tomb Raider still coming out on XB360, going back a bit MGSV etc. These games run look and fine enough but they only exist because enough people own those machines that it makes it worthwhile for developers to make them.
The PS4, the XB1 - they have games. Third party games, first/second party games, exclusive games and cross platform games. People choose one or the other based on which games they want to play are on whichever system has them. So that's mostly the first party and exclusives - the third party games, it's there whichever way you go really, you're covered. You may miss out on one or two games you wanted on the other platform or you may just buy the other platform if you want it that bad.
Nintendo - they have virtually none of those games. You buy exclusive (at least until they get ported to 3ds) first/second party games and everything else is trash tier (old) ports or a sea of shovelware indie junk on the eShop.
Switch is exactly the same shit as before. Fifa, NBA, they'll be ports of systems gone by and gone in a year or two probably. Skyrim, which version is it? Who cares, it's old whatever it is. Street Fighter 2? The "HD" one? On an analogue only controller (or +$70 or so depending on your poison). With some palette swaps. For $40, what is that twice the price it came out for 10 years ago? My god leave this games' legacy alone. Rayman.. well maybe this time it'll stay exclusive huh. Lego? Did the space time continuum collapse when the Wii U died and we started going back in time to the Wii U launch?
Anyone buying this a Switch at launch is freaking out of their mind. Even if you want their pathetic "combined might of Nintendo's developers" year of announced games - this has price drop before Christmas written all over it. (And you'll probably score some freebie doubles of those NES & SNES games you own again too!).
It's really not hard to please people Nintendo, here, try this.
Release a box, it's called the "Nintendo In", it plays games inside your house. It's about the PS4 level (in spec and even HD space!) and priced about the same so people don't feel like they're getting ripped buying ancient and insufficient tech. So you don't fucking alienate the rest of the world's developers and in turn, get the other games that people require to have reason enough to purchase the system.
It comes with a fucking plain controller, like you sell separately at the moment, just like the other consoles. So you don't fucking alienate the rest of the world's developers and in turn, get the other games that people require to have reason enough to purchase the system. So you don't fucking confuse the living shit out of even the hardcore on this forum which damn accessories they need to plunk down cash for.
Oh but you want to sell some fucking accessories Nintendo?
Release wireless NES, SNES, N64 and Gamecube controllers that connect to the "Nintendo In".
Hint: People bought (or tried to) your trash tier trinket box of forever 30 (yes, i know) roms just cause it looked like the old one.
Release NES, SNES, N64 and Gamecube games at a fast pace, that can be played with their respective controllers on the Nintendo box.
Price them accordingly and let suckers who've bought them multiple times already get them for free.
Promise that shit will carry forward to Nintendo box 2, 3 ... well assuming there will be one of those... in the future.
You announce this console by presenting it with a calendar - it has 12 months, not 4 quarters.
In each of the months, you place several games that people actually want, that you will actually release in those months.
Probably you'll want those games to be games that no one has played before or can play on another system. And don't worry, they can still be innovative even using that regular old controller! Turns out it's the games that matter not the controller.
Release a handheld called the "Nintendo Out". It plays games outside your house mostly. It's somewhere around Vita spec, since you killed that already and well, there's not much point in packing it full of tech, pricing it out of the market and killing the battery life and thus it's reason for existing.
It has 2 screens - one is a touch screen, that snaps off and can play single screen touch only Android or IOS games, and fits in your pocket.
It costs about $150.
Release Gameboy, GBA, DS & 3DS (now in 2D, again!) games at a fast pace.
Price them accordingly and let suckers who've bought them multiple times already get them for free.
Promise that shit will carry forward to Nintendo box 2, 3 ... well assuming there will be one of those... in the future.
You announce this console by presenting it with a calendar - it has 12 months, not 4 quarters.
In each of the months, you place several games that people actually want, that you will actually release in those months.
Probably you want a new Pokemon and a new Monster Hunter game in the first few. They should probably be games you can't buy on and are significantly different from those released on "Nintendo In". You know, handheld games - games well suited to being played on a handheld.
Oh and you can safely assume these hypothetical systems would either have free online or feature parity at cost! YAY
R&D costs of my afternoon's thought process wouldn't have ended up with having to charge you all $90 for an extra dock either!
Nintendo: you try and sell your own, unique and overpriced hardware to me with this cock and bull story of needing it so you can innovate with fucking retreads of last years games. I don't believe you. Plenty of others and sometimes even yourself have proven that innovative games don't have to be reliant on the fucking machine they're being played on. As a long time Nintendo fan - 13th January is the day you broke me! Go third party already.
And with that, have at me GAF!