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November Wrasslin |OT| Ask Not The Jobber How John Cena Wins
- Thread starter Plywood
- Start date
Which one of you losers is going to buy one of these?
In before someone cries about the stuff on the back of the hat.
British Monsoon
Member
Lol, I did like the Nakamura one until I saw the shit on the back of the cap. The designs on the underside of the brim are a cool idea, though.
Which one of you losers is going to buy one of these?
I don't know if I can pull off the Jamaican-centric(?) fashion, but I can't deny that this is way better than the recent WWE gear that's been released.
That was Kwang, doesn't count. He was a different guy!
Gospel Gossip With Stro: Matty in the House
Matt starts his book out by going down a long list linking Jesus to Abraham and David via Joseph's family lineage. But Joe wasn't Jesus' father, so it is a big waste of time. I mean shit, the MOST BASIC research you can do on Jesus will tell you he wasn't the fruit of Joseph's loins, if you wheel. Not off to a hot start.
Mary and Joe were engaged, but not living together. The Holy Spirit knocked that broad up, so Joe wanted to divorce her. Quietly, though, so he wouldn't embarrass her. Holy Spirit came down and told Joe he got her pregnant and to stay with her and raise that baby as Jesus. BIG L on that one for Joe.
When Jesus was born, a star popped up, and astrologers followed it to him. They gave him gifts and shit. Then they had a dream that Herod would kill them, so they went home a different way. Joe also had a dream about Herod, so the family escaped to....EGYPT. Where God said Jews would never have to go back to, yet he instructed Jesus, Mary, and Somalian Joe to go to for hiding.
Joe has another dream saying Herod is dead and to take the family back to Israel. But then he has ANOTHER dream telling him it is dangerous and they stop at Nazareth, which happens to conveniently fulfill one of the prophecies. Now, the person telling Joe all this stuff is the Holy Spirit, who also knocked up his wife and told Joe to raise his baby as Joe's own. Joe is the original cuckold.
Young Jesus met John The Baptist, whose diet consisted of honey and grasshoppers, and was baptized. God came down in the form of a dove and proclaimed J-Bro to be pretty dope.
Jesus and the Devil had a meeting in the desert. Jesus simply played his fiddle better.
Jesus wanders around, healing people, doing exorcisms, raising the dead, and preaching what boils down to: Don't be a cunt and you'll be rewarded. One of the cities he went to was Decapolis, which sounds metal as fuuuuuuck. He also was preaching the Hebrew Bible and makes the point to say he isn't there to abolish the old rules, but to fulfill them. So Christians who think the Old Testament "isn't relevant" (told to me personally by someone who claims they are serious about Jesus), are full of shit. At the same time, he touches on some specific laws and in some cases makes them even more rigid, but almost completely reverses others.
Hulk Hogan is going to Hell because even looking with lustful eyes is the same as committing adultery. #MachoManwasright
Basically, folks who make a big show of their faith and charity are real pieces of a shit and your faith and charity should be personal and private, because they are rewards unto themselves. He tells all the people he heals to not mention it to anyone. WWE needs to stop airing those Make a Wish ads. Jesus says so.
Jesus apparently has the power to control the oceans and wind, so he's like Aqua Thor.
He gives 12 people the authority to use some of his dope super powers. Among them: Simon AKA Peter AKA The Rock, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot.
But "don't suppose that I came to bring peace on earth. I came not to bring peace, but a sword."
Some dude asks Jesus to perform miracles, but Jesus said that is a bullshit thing to ask for and refuses, something that also happens a lot with Mohammed. Then compares Jonah's 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a whale to what the Chosen One will have to spend in the bowels of Hell.
The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed.
Johnny Baptista got his head chopped off. Jesus went to go get his body. He came across a bunch of god damn poors and felt bad, so he fed them all with bread and fish, even though there shouldn't have been enough for all the people. He actually did this more than once. HOLY MACKEREL!
Jesizzle casually walks on water like it ain't no thing but a chicken wing.
Jesus advocates blowjobs and swallowing, as what comes into your mouth doesn't defile you, but what comes out does. He also straight up talks about shit.
One day, after dealing with zombies and demons and whatnot, Jesus went to a fig tree because he was hungry. The tree only had leaves, so Jesus got pissed at it and made it wither on the spot. Which seems...not very Jesusy to me.
Judas sold out Jesus for just 30 pieces of silver. What a cheap cunt. Dude could have gotten a WAY better deal. Peter denies knowing Jesus 3 times, which Jesus said would happen, then goes and cries for a while. Jesus is sentenced to death and Judas feels bad about it now. TOO FUCKING LATE, PAL. Then he hanged himself.
Pontius Pilate's wife is like, "Hun, I had a dream about this Jesus guy, so don't kill him, bae." But the crowd was like a CZW crowd chanting for blood. So Pilot literally washes his hands of any guilt over what will happen to Jesus. Not a metaphor. He had water brought to him so he could wash his hands of the situation. Jesus was whipped, had a crown of thorns pressed into his head, and then his right hand was nailed to the cross, all while people were spitting on him and mocking him. It seems like they also put a nail in his head. Before dying, he asked why God had forsaken him, and then shit went OFF. Earthquakes brought up a bunch of zombie bodies of various dead holy people, who wandered around the city. This shit took a dark turn.
On the third day after his death, an angel came down to earth, rolled back the stone that covered Jesus' tomb, and sat on it. He told one of the broads to go tell everyone Jesus has risen. Suddenly Jesus stood in front of her and said, "Shalom!".
God damn, if all the books are as long as Matthew, this is going to take FOREVER.
Matt starts his book out by going down a long list linking Jesus to Abraham and David via Joseph's family lineage. But Joe wasn't Jesus' father, so it is a big waste of time. I mean shit, the MOST BASIC research you can do on Jesus will tell you he wasn't the fruit of Joseph's loins, if you wheel. Not off to a hot start.
Mary and Joe were engaged, but not living together. The Holy Spirit knocked that broad up, so Joe wanted to divorce her. Quietly, though, so he wouldn't embarrass her. Holy Spirit came down and told Joe he got her pregnant and to stay with her and raise that baby as Jesus. BIG L on that one for Joe.
When Jesus was born, a star popped up, and astrologers followed it to him. They gave him gifts and shit. Then they had a dream that Herod would kill them, so they went home a different way. Joe also had a dream about Herod, so the family escaped to....EGYPT. Where God said Jews would never have to go back to, yet he instructed Jesus, Mary, and Somalian Joe to go to for hiding.
Joe has another dream saying Herod is dead and to take the family back to Israel. But then he has ANOTHER dream telling him it is dangerous and they stop at Nazareth, which happens to conveniently fulfill one of the prophecies. Now, the person telling Joe all this stuff is the Holy Spirit, who also knocked up his wife and told Joe to raise his baby as Joe's own. Joe is the original cuckold.
Young Jesus met John The Baptist, whose diet consisted of honey and grasshoppers, and was baptized. God came down in the form of a dove and proclaimed J-Bro to be pretty dope.
Jesus and the Devil had a meeting in the desert. Jesus simply played his fiddle better.
Jesus wanders around, healing people, doing exorcisms, raising the dead, and preaching what boils down to: Don't be a cunt and you'll be rewarded. One of the cities he went to was Decapolis, which sounds metal as fuuuuuuck. He also was preaching the Hebrew Bible and makes the point to say he isn't there to abolish the old rules, but to fulfill them. So Christians who think the Old Testament "isn't relevant" (told to me personally by someone who claims they are serious about Jesus), are full of shit. At the same time, he touches on some specific laws and in some cases makes them even more rigid, but almost completely reverses others.
Hulk Hogan is going to Hell because even looking with lustful eyes is the same as committing adultery. #MachoManwasright
Basically, folks who make a big show of their faith and charity are real pieces of a shit and your faith and charity should be personal and private, because they are rewards unto themselves. He tells all the people he heals to not mention it to anyone. WWE needs to stop airing those Make a Wish ads. Jesus says so.
Jesus apparently has the power to control the oceans and wind, so he's like Aqua Thor.
He gives 12 people the authority to use some of his dope super powers. Among them: Simon AKA Peter AKA The Rock, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot.
But "don't suppose that I came to bring peace on earth. I came not to bring peace, but a sword."
Some dude asks Jesus to perform miracles, but Jesus said that is a bullshit thing to ask for and refuses, something that also happens a lot with Mohammed. Then compares Jonah's 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a whale to what the Chosen One will have to spend in the bowels of Hell.
The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed.
Johnny Baptista got his head chopped off. Jesus went to go get his body. He came across a bunch of god damn poors and felt bad, so he fed them all with bread and fish, even though there shouldn't have been enough for all the people. He actually did this more than once. HOLY MACKEREL!
Jesizzle casually walks on water like it ain't no thing but a chicken wing.
Jesus advocates blowjobs and swallowing, as what comes into your mouth doesn't defile you, but what comes out does. He also straight up talks about shit.
One day, after dealing with zombies and demons and whatnot, Jesus went to a fig tree because he was hungry. The tree only had leaves, so Jesus got pissed at it and made it wither on the spot. Which seems...not very Jesusy to me.
Judas sold out Jesus for just 30 pieces of silver. What a cheap cunt. Dude could have gotten a WAY better deal. Peter denies knowing Jesus 3 times, which Jesus said would happen, then goes and cries for a while. Jesus is sentenced to death and Judas feels bad about it now. TOO FUCKING LATE, PAL. Then he hanged himself.
Pontius Pilate's wife is like, "Hun, I had a dream about this Jesus guy, so don't kill him, bae." But the crowd was like a CZW crowd chanting for blood. So Pilot literally washes his hands of any guilt over what will happen to Jesus. Not a metaphor. He had water brought to him so he could wash his hands of the situation. Jesus was whipped, had a crown of thorns pressed into his head, and then his right hand was nailed to the cross, all while people were spitting on him and mocking him. It seems like they also put a nail in his head. Before dying, he asked why God had forsaken him, and then shit went OFF. Earthquakes brought up a bunch of zombie bodies of various dead holy people, who wandered around the city. This shit took a dark turn.
On the third day after his death, an angel came down to earth, rolled back the stone that covered Jesus' tomb, and sat on it. He told one of the broads to go tell everyone Jesus has risen. Suddenly Jesus stood in front of her and said, "Shalom!".
God damn, if all the books are as long as Matthew, this is going to take FOREVER.
Hmm, yeah, definitely a little weird. Okay. Didn't know it was a thing that everyone did.
I want to say when he went heel, it was Native American Turncoat Tatanka, but it's real fuzzy in my memory.
Back in the good old days where it looked like they plotted storylines by 1-800 survey numbers. Who sold out, Lex or Tatanka? Is the sharpshooter stronger than the chicken wing?
Back in the good old days where it looked like they plotted storylines by 1-800 survey numbers. Who sold out, Lex or Tatanka? Is the sharpshooter stronger than the chicken wing?
British Monsoon
Member
New Japan announced a few more shows for next year, 2 New Beginning PPVs again. Here's the schedule;
2015/01/04 - Wrestle Kingdom 9 - Tokyo Dome
2015/01/05 - New Year Dash!! - Korakuen Hall
2015/01/13 ~ 2015/01/19 - NJPW/CMLL FantasticaMania - 6 dates
2015/01/30 ~ 2015/02/08 - Road to the New Beginning - 6 dates
2015/02/11 - The New Beginning in Osaka - Bodymaker Colosseum
2015/02/14 - The New Beginning in Sendai - Sun Plaza Hall
The Sendai show's in a smaller building than the Hiroshima show last year, so it looks like they're adjusting their two-PPV strategy, which will hopefully lead to a more stacked card in Osaka.
2015/01/04 - Wrestle Kingdom 9 - Tokyo Dome
2015/01/05 - New Year Dash!! - Korakuen Hall
2015/01/13 ~ 2015/01/19 - NJPW/CMLL FantasticaMania - 6 dates
2015/01/30 ~ 2015/02/08 - Road to the New Beginning - 6 dates
2015/02/11 - The New Beginning in Osaka - Bodymaker Colosseum
2015/02/14 - The New Beginning in Sendai - Sun Plaza Hall
The Sendai show's in a smaller building than the Hiroshima show last year, so it looks like they're adjusting their two-PPV strategy, which will hopefully lead to a more stacked card in Osaka.
Well, IS IT?!
Masquerader
Member
Oh, Stro. Your Biblical interpretations are so no-nonsense.
http://www.wwe.com/videos/lex-luger-vs-tatanka-summerslam-1994-26038422
or do you mean how no one came back from the chickenwing, even Backlund himself?
To a fucking time limit draw as well at one of the KOTRs.
My uncle sent me that PPV when I was a kid and I really felt like not watching anymore. I really should have heeded that advice. Not a great PPV.
The Truth Is, I'm just telling the Good News because a New Day is coming.
I would watch Lex Luger spoon Tatanka before I watched a Konnan match.
So I just read the Smackdown spoilers...
The added stipulation to the SS main event completely spoils the result, no? Not that I thought Team Authority had a chance of winning anyway. But could it be any more obvious now? Unless there's an epic swerve, I can see myself fucking hating this PPV.
There's two ways to look at this:
1.
they're dumbshits for giving away a match result. Cornette did this when he said he'd refund every PPV order's money if his team lost on some WWF PPV in 95 or 96. So dumb.
2.
team Cena does get fired, Vince brings everybody back, and this starts the build for the supposed WM31 match with Vince in someone's corner and HHH in someone's corner.
Either way, it's probably a bad idea.
How about his best entrance music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK0cjTfbQTw
Neither sounds like much fun to me. How about option 3:
Team Cena all turn on John and give him a beatdown that puts him out of action indefinitely. The entire roster stands tall to end the show.
Is Buff Daddy one of those guys that was given unfair treatment by the wrestling fanbase at large as time went by? I know people didn't like to work with him, but I feel like everything about him has been colored by his match with Booker T on WWE. Which, no one thinks Booker is an awful wrestler because of that, but they seemingly do for Bagwell. Now, the guy's not an amazing wrestler. I'd say he's the definition of mediocre, and he never seemed to improve much in that department.
But this isn't AJPW or NWA. Professional wrestling is more than just doing moves well and executing a story. It's about characters and commitment to the character. Working a crowd and knowing how to entertain them as a bad guy or a good guy. I loved WCW as a kid, way more than WWF, but I hated Bagwell. But I hated him because he was a good heel. As I rewatch WCW stuff from basically NWO onwards, like Disco, I fail to see why Buff is so despised. If he was wrestling guys like Benoit and the cruiserweights on the regular, people might have a point because of his lack of wrestling ability and seeming 'greenness' in that department. But Buff is SO good at selling, really underrated for it. Not only is he good at selling, but he knows how to work a crowd. I was checking out a NJPW show from when the NWO midcard guys were over there, and he was teamed up with Norton. He was getting SO much heat by playing off the Japanese crowds. And you usually don't see gaijins get that kind of heat in Japan. Even though he was tagging with Norton who was still over with the fans as a heel, Buff took over control of the reactions. For a 26 year old with very little experience in Japan? That's very impressive. The fans gave him no reaction when he first got in, but he had them under his control completely within the first 5 minutes of the match.
He's like the perfect shitheel goon. Wrestling's Salacious Crumb.
But this isn't AJPW or NWA. Professional wrestling is more than just doing moves well and executing a story. It's about characters and commitment to the character. Working a crowd and knowing how to entertain them as a bad guy or a good guy. I loved WCW as a kid, way more than WWF, but I hated Bagwell. But I hated him because he was a good heel. As I rewatch WCW stuff from basically NWO onwards, like Disco, I fail to see why Buff is so despised. If he was wrestling guys like Benoit and the cruiserweights on the regular, people might have a point because of his lack of wrestling ability and seeming 'greenness' in that department. But Buff is SO good at selling, really underrated for it. Not only is he good at selling, but he knows how to work a crowd. I was checking out a NJPW show from when the NWO midcard guys were over there, and he was teamed up with Norton. He was getting SO much heat by playing off the Japanese crowds. And you usually don't see gaijins get that kind of heat in Japan. Even though he was tagging with Norton who was still over with the fans as a heel, Buff took over control of the reactions. For a 26 year old with very little experience in Japan? That's very impressive. The fans gave him no reaction when he first got in, but he had them under his control completely within the first 5 minutes of the match.
He's like the perfect shitheel goon. Wrestling's Salacious Crumb.
lol
What if Bryan is acting like this for the specific purpose of making sure WWE doesn't try to pursue getting him into more Total Divas / reality TV bullshit?
>Gaming side complains 343 shipped Master Chief Collection in bad state
>343 pushes out a huge title update faster than anything Bungie ever did with a previous Halo game
>Gaming side still complains and says this changes nothing.
Gaming side is so fucking horrible these days.
>343 pushes out a huge title update faster than anything Bungie ever did with a previous Halo game
>Gaming side still complains and says this changes nothing.
Gaming side is so fucking horrible these days.
FlammableD
Banned
I miss Kaitlyn guys 
Rafa=FedKilla
Banned
If only Veronica was so vain to provide us constant updates like gjis. Miss her......
STOP GOING TO GAMING SIDE! I mean you can go, but please don't go for game threads you actually enjoy playing.
I'm enjoying Destiny actually. Main reason, I stay out of the Destiny thread!
Buff Bagwell wasn't very good in the ring and his gimmick, in large part, was big in great shape. "Musclebound meathead with no talent" etc. Of course the internet hates him.
The funny thing is the Halo threads would actually be totally okay if people weren't getting so bent out of shape over MCC's launch. Most of those people are probably going to completely forget the launch window issues once the patches roll out and everything is fine. Also the people who think the launch window issues are going to kill MCC's online player-base are completely delusional.
Being an early adopter with how complex games are these days is going to come with consequences.
Yeah I know Nintendo gets praise for working games day 1 but it's not like they are exactly pushing the envelope. The stick to the tried and true because it's more likely to work.
True, but to give Nintendo credit - Mario Kart 8 had a full online infrastructure and that did launch without a hitch seemingly. I'm interested to see if Smash Bros will be a smooth launch tomorrow.
Well lets be fair though...
It's not like Cena hasn't been fired before and got more TV time as a result of it
They likely are. Master Chief Collection in particular is likely complicated as fuck when you actually break down what's going on in it. Integrating dedicated servers and different matchmaking systems into 5 different online systems that all had slightly different matchmaking systems and general netcode sounds like a programmers nightmare.
I guess. I'm thinking something like Halo and Destiny are a million times for complicated.
BIONIC-ARRRMMM!!
Member
MK8 launch wasn't without a hitch. Lots of people had connection errors either not being able to join or being thrown out of lobbies for the first week or two. It was generally working though, just not perfect.
I'll be a lot more impressed if Smash Brothers works. Not like it's a real fighting game anyway so it doesn't have to be that accurate.
96 survivor series was the best imo. Grimey NYC crowd, sid fist bumping, hbk getting squshed, austin/bret 1, mankind/taker, and a debut of the most electrifying man in the worst wrestling attire next to the ding dongs.
Now 1991 SS was a fucking mess because it circled around Tuesday in Texas for some strange reason and most of the matches felt incomplete.
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