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November Wrasslin |OT| Ask Not The Jobber How John Cena Wins
- Thread starter Plywood
- Start date
"Boom, Stunner out of the blue! Notice, no kick. He's been working my leg the entire match, it made no sense to kick him."
BIONIC-ARRRMMM!!
Member
"Boom, Stunner out of the blue! Notice, no kick. He's been working my leg the entire match, it made no sense to kick him."
The Power of John Sina
"Nobody takes my Kurt Angle Character!"
Sibersk Esto
Banned
Austin fucking gets it"Boom, Stunner out of the blue! Notice, no kick. He's been working my leg the entire match, it made no sense to kick him."
Ryo Hazuki
Member
Gospel Gossip with Stro: Let Me Acts You A Question
Barsabbas, now known as Matthias, was added to the apostles to replace the dead and hanging Judas. That new character smell.
The Disciples of Apocalypse were hanging out one day when it got super windy and something appeared to them that seemed like tongues of fire, these separated and came to rest in the head of each one. Then they all started talking in different languages.
People thought they must be drunk, but Peter reminded them that it is only 9 AM and they aren't lushes like me.
Pete shames the SHIT out of the Jews for killing Jesus, eventually getting it worked out that the only way for them to not be fucked for live is to immediately get baptized in the name of Jesus. About 3000 signed up that day. Pete and John were also able to use some of Jesus' excess power to perform miracles and whatnot.
Ananias and Sapphira sold some of their property, but conspired to keep some of the money of the proceeds for themselves. Pete immediately calls them out on it for lying to God. Ananias drops dead on the spot. Sweet Sapphire didn't know about that part, so later when Pete asked her about it, he called her out and she also dropped dead. The congregation was pretty fearful at this point, which makes sense, since God got WAY sawft when Jesus was around. So much so you'd think it was a different god. Good to see he's still got that FEAR ME OR DIE edge to him.
Angels are really good at jail breaks, by the way. They do it all the fucking time.
The DOA were told to stop fucking talking about Jesus. Just drop it. And they got arrested and flogged, but were happy about it because they're into that kind of thing.
Recap of most of the Torah
Phillip happened to meet up with a eunuch from Ethiopia and converted him. There also happened to be a pool of water in the desert when a baptism was needed. When the eunuch came up from the water, the Holy Spirit snatched Phil right out of there and teleported him somewhere else.
Saul was going around killing believers and what not. One day, Jesus himself spoke to Saul from the sky. Jesus blinded him, then sent another dude to heal his eyes so Saul would spread the Good News to the dirty Gentiles. This plan worked.
One day, Pete was praying on the roof, as you do. He was really hungry and fell into a trance. He then saw heaven standing open, and something like a large sheet being lowered to earth by its four corners. It had all kinds of animals. God then made all food clean it seems. Sounds to me like Pete was going into a diabetic coma and secretly wanted that sweet crab meat.
It was around this time that God opened up heaven for anyone, of any nation, of any blood line, if they accept Jeeeeeeeezus. Jesus: Not just for Jews anymore!
Herod was still hating on Jews and followers of Jesus. Eventually, he was giving a speech or something. Someone in the audience said he had the voice of a god, not a man. For that, God killed Herod on the spot for not giving glory to God. Wait, shouldn't he have killed the dude who said that? Herod was then eaten by worms.
Saul became Paul and said something stupid. He was stoned for it and nearly died.
Paul and Barney decided they'd go back to all the towns they'd be to and check up on everyone. But then they got into an argument and broke up.
Now Paul and Luke were a tag team and climbing up the ranks. They met a woman, who was struck with The Spirit and would follow them around yelling about how faithful they were. It went on for days. Finally, Paul turned around and told her to SHUT THE FUCK UP, then made The Spirit leave her.
They then got arrested because that woman's bosses couldn't make money off of them now. (What?) While they were in jail, praying, a huge earthquake hit and all the cages were opened and all the chains were dropped from all prisoners. Then the jailer was converted.
Those pesky Jews were causing trouble wherever the DOA went. One time, some high priests were trying to exorcise Damon Kanes in the name of Jesus. The Damon Kanes laughed at them, because they knew Jesus and Paul, but had no idea who the priests were. Then tombstoned them.
Basically, the DOA became a group of Jesuses. They're able to do all the same miracles Jesus did, up to and including resurrecting the dead. So...why aren't these guys considered God as well?
Fucking Paul. I swear more words are devoted to him than Jesus himself. You'd think THIS guy is the Messiah. So sick of his shit. Oh, he used to kill followers of Jesus and now he's one of them. Big deal. Oh, he's persecuted everywhere he goes. Big deal. Oh, we're going to follow him going to multiple jails and traveling for YEARS. Big deal. Oh, he wants to meet Caesar. Big deal. Oh, he got bitten by a snake. Big deal. Oh, FUCK THIS GUY. He's like Jesus with no charisma. He's basically the Renegade to Jesus' Ultimate Warrior. BORING AS SHIT. And if you like shit, well fuck you, too. Get this guy out of my fucking face.
Luckily the rest of the books are pretty short. Most are just a few pages, some only one page. Until Revelation, which I am definitely looking forward to. Also, the Jews are not painted in a very flattering light AT ALL. Frequently mentioned as the ones who killed Jesus (and persecuted all the other prophets sent to them), always scheming to get various disciples killed or arrested. Even in the Torah, they are portrayed as a very bitchy, whiny, and generally unlikable people that God only picked because of a few dope people, but otherwise would be happy to kill all of them. By the time you get to the Koran, all this FUCK DA JEWS shit makes sense, since God himself has been thinking that for a couple thousand years by that point.
Barsabbas, now known as Matthias, was added to the apostles to replace the dead and hanging Judas. That new character smell.
The Disciples of Apocalypse were hanging out one day when it got super windy and something appeared to them that seemed like tongues of fire, these separated and came to rest in the head of each one. Then they all started talking in different languages.
People thought they must be drunk, but Peter reminded them that it is only 9 AM and they aren't lushes like me.
Pete shames the SHIT out of the Jews for killing Jesus, eventually getting it worked out that the only way for them to not be fucked for live is to immediately get baptized in the name of Jesus. About 3000 signed up that day. Pete and John were also able to use some of Jesus' excess power to perform miracles and whatnot.
Ananias and Sapphira sold some of their property, but conspired to keep some of the money of the proceeds for themselves. Pete immediately calls them out on it for lying to God. Ananias drops dead on the spot. Sweet Sapphire didn't know about that part, so later when Pete asked her about it, he called her out and she also dropped dead. The congregation was pretty fearful at this point, which makes sense, since God got WAY sawft when Jesus was around. So much so you'd think it was a different god. Good to see he's still got that FEAR ME OR DIE edge to him.
Angels are really good at jail breaks, by the way. They do it all the fucking time.
The DOA were told to stop fucking talking about Jesus. Just drop it. And they got arrested and flogged, but were happy about it because they're into that kind of thing.
Recap of most of the Torah
Phillip happened to meet up with a eunuch from Ethiopia and converted him. There also happened to be a pool of water in the desert when a baptism was needed. When the eunuch came up from the water, the Holy Spirit snatched Phil right out of there and teleported him somewhere else.
Saul was going around killing believers and what not. One day, Jesus himself spoke to Saul from the sky. Jesus blinded him, then sent another dude to heal his eyes so Saul would spread the Good News to the dirty Gentiles. This plan worked.
One day, Pete was praying on the roof, as you do. He was really hungry and fell into a trance. He then saw heaven standing open, and something like a large sheet being lowered to earth by its four corners. It had all kinds of animals. God then made all food clean it seems. Sounds to me like Pete was going into a diabetic coma and secretly wanted that sweet crab meat.
It was around this time that God opened up heaven for anyone, of any nation, of any blood line, if they accept Jeeeeeeeezus. Jesus: Not just for Jews anymore!
Herod was still hating on Jews and followers of Jesus. Eventually, he was giving a speech or something. Someone in the audience said he had the voice of a god, not a man. For that, God killed Herod on the spot for not giving glory to God. Wait, shouldn't he have killed the dude who said that? Herod was then eaten by worms.
Saul became Paul and said something stupid. He was stoned for it and nearly died.
Paul and Barney decided they'd go back to all the towns they'd be to and check up on everyone. But then they got into an argument and broke up.
Now Paul and Luke were a tag team and climbing up the ranks. They met a woman, who was struck with The Spirit and would follow them around yelling about how faithful they were. It went on for days. Finally, Paul turned around and told her to SHUT THE FUCK UP, then made The Spirit leave her.
They then got arrested because that woman's bosses couldn't make money off of them now. (What?) While they were in jail, praying, a huge earthquake hit and all the cages were opened and all the chains were dropped from all prisoners. Then the jailer was converted.
Those pesky Jews were causing trouble wherever the DOA went. One time, some high priests were trying to exorcise Damon Kanes in the name of Jesus. The Damon Kanes laughed at them, because they knew Jesus and Paul, but had no idea who the priests were. Then tombstoned them.
Basically, the DOA became a group of Jesuses. They're able to do all the same miracles Jesus did, up to and including resurrecting the dead. So...why aren't these guys considered God as well?
Fucking Paul. I swear more words are devoted to him than Jesus himself. You'd think THIS guy is the Messiah. So sick of his shit. Oh, he used to kill followers of Jesus and now he's one of them. Big deal. Oh, he's persecuted everywhere he goes. Big deal. Oh, we're going to follow him going to multiple jails and traveling for YEARS. Big deal. Oh, he wants to meet Caesar. Big deal. Oh, he got bitten by a snake. Big deal. Oh, FUCK THIS GUY. He's like Jesus with no charisma. He's basically the Renegade to Jesus' Ultimate Warrior. BORING AS SHIT. And if you like shit, well fuck you, too. Get this guy out of my fucking face.
Luckily the rest of the books are pretty short. Most are just a few pages, some only one page. Until Revelation, which I am definitely looking forward to. Also, the Jews are not painted in a very flattering light AT ALL. Frequently mentioned as the ones who killed Jesus (and persecuted all the other prophets sent to them), always scheming to get various disciples killed or arrested. Even in the Torah, they are portrayed as a very bitchy, whiny, and generally unlikable people that God only picked because of a few dope people, but otherwise would be happy to kill all of them. By the time you get to the Koran, all this FUCK DA JEWS shit makes sense, since God himself has been thinking that for a couple thousand years by that point.
slightconfuse
Banned
What if Sting is the bunny
British Monsoon
Member
What if The Bible was an 80's sitcom and Jesus is the Bunny.
lovely ladies
Member
Can someone get liquidsnake a PS4 Sting code?
UrbanDandy
Member
Is it me, or does Jamie Noble and Buff Bagwell look alike (in terms of faces)?
/deadNow Paul and Luke were a tag team and climbing up the ranks. They met a woman, who was struck with The Spirit and would follow them around yelling about how faithful they were. It went on for days. Finally, Paul turned around and told her to SHUT THE FUCK UP, then made The Spirit leave her.
Made better by the fact I saw Bronson a while back.
FlammableD
Banned
Getting round to watching Untitled II. Busick and Ciampa was a great opener, love watching Rousey freak out in the background during the multiple powerbombs. She throws a shitty chop though.
lovely ladies
Member
Why did they use the PS3 model on the PS4?
I can see the legalism aspect just from Acts, but Peter was shaming the shit out of Jews more than Paul. Although over the course of Acts, Jews are portrayed very poorly, but Paul didn't write Acts, (likely) Luke did. There is definitely a persecution complex running through it, as there was in the Torah and Koran as well, though.
Holy shit!I had no idea there was a TMF team at Survivor Series
Grumpy Cat predicts the winner of Team Authority vs. Team Cena:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBgU9Aoj6yQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBgU9Aoj6yQ
lovely ladies
Member
I can't see you loving it if it hasn't grabbed you already haha.
Sibersk Esto
Banned
What ep are you on?
slightconfuse
Banned
Sibersk Esto
Banned
Grumpy Cat predicts the winner of Team Authority vs. Team Cena:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBgU9Aoj6yQ
GRUMPY CAT THAT SON OF A BITCH WAS THE THIRD MAN
Well I hope the Puma whose spirit animal is the jaguar sells me on it during his battle at tha temple with Mundo.
The first.
UrbanDandy
Member
As much as TNA was stale, you have to admit, Lethal Consequences was the best tag team the company had to offer.
Sibersk Esto
Banned
There will be some noticeably bad things but some distractedly good things pop up
slightconfuse
Banned
What about Team vince only thinks this is funny
Yeah Chavo was about to do a spot off the top corner and BD Jr tripped him with his mind cause his arm sure as shit didn't make contact from a foot away.
What about Team vince only thinks this is funny
HA HA! They're tiny!
Laugh, damnit!
TimeEffect
Member
Oh wow, they are in St Louis... how controversial would it be for a New Day to debut and cut a promo ?
Daniels and Kazarian have come out of it pretty well...
Q
Queen of Hunting
Unconfirmed Member
will be interesting seeing paul heyman and wade barrett on the survivor series panel
They're all dead!
Yup, only interesting thing about Sunday.
You need to go back and watch the ECW arena shows they now have up from 1995/1996.
I had no idea there was a TMF team at Survivor Series
Tully actually ended up being replaced by Bobby Heenan in that match, but it might still be the most TMF team ever.
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