WCW Monday Nitro 1/24/00
TLDR: WCW 2000 is way better than WWE 2012.
Tonight is the night we crown a new WCW champion.
TO THE BACK. FOUR limos arrive. The nWo each have their own. But there were four, right? SCOTT HALL is in the 4th one. He looks bloated as fuck. The Harris Brothers have to travel separately.
A Cruiserweight Title Tournament is behind held to fill the vacancy of that title. Kaz Hayashi vs Hypnosis. DA JUICE! He's completely unintelligible. It's awesome. I'm hoping Kaz kicks someone in the face. Kaz barely makes the rotation doing a backflip sell for a LARRIIIIAAATTTOOO. Looked like he might have clipped his head a bit. Another shitty copy, so some of the match is missing, but it seems really slow paced. Weirdly slow paced for a cruiser match. Not technical or anything, just a lot of down time. Juvi hit a juicy elbow on the floor. Kaz did a front flip over the top from a normal Irish whip from the opposite rope. That was weird. They did the "catch a guy off the top with a dropkick" spot, but on the floor, and it looked like Hypnosis got caught right in the dick. This match is a bit of a mess. Psychosis won with a leg fed roll up thing. It wasn't good. They had really poor communication during it, which is a little surprising since it wasn't like Psychosis was a stranger to Japan or anything.
Run down of the show. Sid vs Nash for the WCW Championship. Before that, Sid vs Jarrett. If Sid doesn't beat Jarrett, Nash wins the title by default. The Mamalukes vs Finlay/Knobs for the title. Booker T vs Lex Luger. Kidman vs Vampiro. Pretty sure this is the match where Vamp powerbombs Kidman 5 times through out it. Random shot of the C in the stage during this for 2 seconds.
TO THE BACK. Funk and Arn have arrived. The nWo think about ways to kill Arn and Funk. Paper work says that Jarrett will not be allowed to work tonight. I assume this was from Dr. Jellyfinger. Since Funk is wearing his ring gear, Nash books him in a hardcore match against Bam Bam.
The Wall vs Kid Romeo. Romeo's Nitro debut. Probably. There are now 3 guys who wrestle in black suit pants, black tie, black dress shoes, and a white button down.
NEWSFLASH: $15,000 bounty has been placed on Terry Funk by Kevin Nash. I loled at Nick Patrick counting to 8 with The Wall clearly not planning on bring it back in the ring, so NICK PATRICK steps outside the ropes, which breaks the count. The ref breaking the plane of the ropes restarts the count now. And then he started it again when Wall got on the apron. "Romeo was 29 *after a big move*" "I don't think he was that old." "Romeo was 7." Lol, oh Brain. Pretty much a squash, but not nearly the kind of ass beating Sid laid on Wall last week.
TO THE BACK. Mean WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...BY GOD Gene interviews Sid. Sid is a monster truck out of control. Ain't no roadblock stopping him nooOOOOOAAAWWW. Sid has veto power. Over Nash's life. Arn tries to convince Bam Bam that they don't need to listen to Nash. Bam Bam wants the money. More nWo YAKS. Oh my god. Scott Hall's over acting is hilarious. I'm pretty sure Victoria/Tara is the girl on Hall's lap. They bring in 3 guys who will have a chance to wrestle live tonight. Chris Daniels (with hair) is one of them. Another one looked like Bryan Callen with late 90s frosted tips. It was probably Kaz. And a big dude who I recognize, but can't put a name to. But he got picked so I'll get to that later.
Three Count is in the ring. Tenay is throwing another bitch fit. Norman Smiley breaks up the performance before it can even start. This show is in the Staples Ceneter, which seems insane that WCW would book that even in 2000. However, it looks like over half the arena was tarped off behind the stage and all of the top level is blacked out. This is Shannon Moore vs Norman. Which made the Big Wiggle awfully uncomfortable, since Shannon actually looked like a young girl. Actually, it looks like only the lower bowl is being used. I thought Staples held more than 20,000. I doubt even 10,000 were in there. Chicken wing for the win. Doesn't stop 3 Count from trying again. Norman adds some extra moves to his dance routine. They don't even try to fight him. LA loves Norman, though.
TO THE BACK. The Scotts lead I believe Al Greene out to the arena.
Yes. Al Greene vs Tank Abbott. That'll put butts in the seats. Longer than your normal Tank squash. Even had a suplex and body slam. KO. "What do you think someone like Meng would do with Tank Abbott?" "Have the time of his life." BIG AL in the crowd. Brain goes to interview him.
TO THE BACK. nWo liked it. Victoria, Major Gunns, Madajah and some other yaks are in there.
TO THE RINGSIDE. Man, Bobby looks like such a mess. Big Al thinks Tank is a sell out for being a wrassler.
The Cat is out. He hasn't been on shows for about 3 months. He has a different look from the last time he was around. Bleached hair, animal stripped zoot suit. He's da greatest. SOMEBODY CALL HIS MOMMA! Brodus is no Cat. He gonna whoop eerrrryyybodddy. Cat was the best Ali/James Brown rip off of all time. Fat dude got super pissed over getting called fat boy. I think it was the extra fat dude from Da Hit Squad. But he looked pretty pissed over the whole thing.
TO THE BACK. Bam Bam and Funk are on their ways to the arena. Bam Bam makes an attack before they get to the ring. Bam Bam tries to drag Funk to the ring via noose. Well, this is uncomfortable. "Is that a Windsor knot?" Bam Bam is destroying Funk's arm with a chair. Fuck. Just over and over in the shoulder/elbow. It's already swelling up and turning purple. At least 6 full force chair shots to the arm. Somehow Funk makes a come back and hits an Asai moonsault and lands on his head. Then lays with his face in Bam Bam's crotch for an uncomfortably long time. I really don't like seeing Funk. It makes me uncomfortable seeing a guy that age taking such ridiculous punishment. He moved worse in 2000 than Flair did in 2010 wrestling. Finlay and Knobs come out, but Bam Bam fights them off. Knobs slips a chair in between Bams and Funk on the diving headbutt, then drag Funk on top of Bam for the win. That's kind of odd since Funk has a bounty on his head. You'd think they would have attacked him. Funk says he'll have some reinforcements for Nash and the nWo on Thunder.
TO THE BACK. The Harris Brothers (one of them) will be the new roadblock match for Sid. They all make their ways to the arena.
Sid vs A Harris Brother. This was mostly rest hold since Sid would be wrestling again later in the show. The twins switch out, but Sid powerbombs whichever one it was for the win. Sid vs Nash for the title later tonight.
Kidman vs Vampiro. THE FIRST FUCKING MOVE Vampiro lands is a tossing powerbomb. Dude was destroying tropes from the beginning. Courtney and David Cox are at ringside. Vamp missed a guillotine leg drop. Even if Kidman hadn't moved, he wouldn't have come close. Kidman with a plancha with the awesome WCW camera shot with the camera man crouched on the little spot for him, so it looked like Kidman was jumping through your TV. He tried another one, but Vamp caught him, which was pretty impressive because Kidman almost hit the ground, but he muscled him back up with out dropping him or losing balance. Kidman tried a spring board move in, but Vamp caught him in a power slam (scoop slam). Spike DDT. Vamp tried another powerbomb, this time it didn't work, and Kidman totally jammed his knee in Vamp's face on the way down. Vamp caught Kidman in another powerbomb as a reversal. He tried a superbomb, but Kidman reversed it into a superranna for the win. Still, Vampiro powerbomed Kidman TWICE in one match. Brain can not concentrate on anything while Torrie is at ringside.
TO THE BACK. Arn is on the phone with someone. Pretty sure it is Flair. Funk is icing his head. Kev is getting a full body massage. Jeff tells him to take it seriously.
Lex Luger vs Booker T. Man. Liz was SO hot in WCW. Nice XPW sign right behind Lex's head while he cuts a promo on Sting being a pussy. This is probably the best promo Lex ever cut. It's all about how he's been the only guy to keep up his level of shape for as long as him. Then he randomly name drops Hulk Hogan. So, I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty excited to see Lex vs Hogan in 2012. 2012! Hopefully this is short. Booker has such a weird body. The first few SD games he was in really captured his alien posture. Book End wasn't quite a finisher yet, so Lex kicks out. Brain compares Book to a ball point pen. Tony is dumbfounded by it. It wasn't racist in nature, either. It was because of how in shape Booker was in and how he was moving and grooving in the ring. Brain was drunk. Funk hit a speaker on his Asai moonsault and it is still squeaking randomly. Fucking annoying. That was 3 matches ago. Tenay and Brain are trying to troll Tony into saying Ric Flair is Funk's back up on Thunder. He almost slips up before saying "we all know who we think it is, but I don't want to say it and get people's hopes up and then have him not show up". This is fucking pro wrestling. That's the whole point! Later in the show Tenay actually does name drop Flair as being the possible backup. Stevie Ray and Big T cost Book the match. IT'S STING! And now he's gone. I don't think that was the real Sting. Super J must still be around.
TO THE BACK. I guess earlier I missed Mean Gene trying to interview Vampiro because of this shitty copy, but apparently there was an issue with the mic earlier. Gene says if he didn't know any better, he'd think that the WWF sabotaged his microphone, which gets a LEGIT POP from Vamp and the audience. Vamp says he's humbled and talks about respect respect respect. Straight up Cena promo. He wants a rematch on Thunder. He looked a lot like Michael J. Fox, weirdly enough.
David/Crowbar/Daffney scare the announce team away so they can do commentary for the Mamalukes vs Finlay/Knobs match. Cortney Cox looks so embarassed to be on camera for less than 2 seconds. LOL Crowbar is doing a Gordon Solie impression. The Marmadukes. All David can do is laugh and ask if Crowbar likes his crowbar. Crowbar compares themselves to the Midnight Express. David is Sweet Stan, and Crowbar is Beauitful Bobby. PIER SIX BRAWL! S&P are out again. Stacy. Shit man. Dem legs. This is so weird. Crowbar is calling the match straight as Gordon Solie while Daffney and David giggle and repeats themselves. David is now dancing on the announce table. Ms. Hancock seems to like it. Daffney and David walk off, following Stacy. Knobs again fucks up a finish by throwing a chair into the ring as if he had been attacked (he wasn't), which hit Finlay and led to the spinning DDT to retain the belts.
TO THE BACK. Jeff and Nash head to the arena. They were talking about 10-10-2-20 commericals.
Kevin Nash vs Sid for the vacant WCW Heavyweight Championship Belt. Nash has a promo first, though. He has certain powers as commissioners. Goldberg chant starts up. Too bad he had to job to a limo. Since he and Sid both use the dangerous powerbomb, he is outlawing it tonight. If Sid uses it, he automatically loses the match. He's going to throw one HUMDINGER of a party after he wins the title.
TO THE BACK. SID is yelling to himself as he comes to the ring.
Kevin Nash vs Sid for the vacant WCW Heavyweight Championship Belt. Really awkward body slam spot to start the match. The kind of shit you see in Divas matches where one can't post right and the other can't muscle the other up, so they just bounce at different times until they start it over. Listen, Sid was fucking over. It's awesome. Sid gets a better reaction in the dying days of WCW than Cena and Punk combined. Give me Sid vs Rock at the Royal Rumble. Do it, dick heads. It is kind of interesting that WCW had no problem talking about Thunder being a taped show. They brawl into the crowd for a little bit, then around ring side. Ref bump, Sid should have the match won. This is going to end up like a 6 minute match. JJ came out, Sid took the guitar and vagabondaged (I thought this was an awesome auto correct for kabonged) Nash with it, and then sold it like the Eddie chair spot. lolz. SID WINS! SID WINS! SID WINS! With the Eddie chair spot. Which is actually the Sid chair spot. Take that, smarks. Your precious Eddie Guerrero's signature spot was stolen from SID.
TLDR: WCW 2000 is way better than WWE 2012.