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WCW Monday Nitro 9/27/99
TO THE BACK. A black limo arrives. It's Hulk Hogan! He's "mobbed by a group of fans", which is like 8 kids. Only one of whom is allowed to get an autograph. Sting shows up on the other side of the limo and attacks Hogan while doing a mocking little kid voice. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?
Recap of last week.
I'm sure the guy right behind Tony in a SURGE shirt isn't a plant or anything. We will have Goldberg in action and a Luchas de Apuestas match tonight.
TO THE BACK. Tenay checks on Hogan, who was being attended to by an EMT. He was heading into the arena anyway. He has odds to overcome, brother. Sting was shown watching this and saying he didn't finish the job.
The Cat vs Chris Benoit WCW TV Championship
Bobby goes HAM on how he's sick of people telling him what to say and what he can't say, how poorly the corporate offices are run, and how stupid and stupid looking all the people working up there are. He's tired of it and he's going to say whatever he wants to say. The Brain is back! This was all brought on by him saying he wished Sting had hit Hogan in his stupid head and parted what little hair was left. Tony said he sounded angry tonight, so Bobby just shit all over his bosses on national TV. Cat called any champion out and Benoit is the one to answer the challenge. Even though Tony told us before the match that this match was going to happen. It seems like they have a bigger ring tonight, but maybe it is because the hard cam is pulled back and higher than normal. "What did you have for breakfast today? Acid?" "I had Mean Flakes." Cat dominated most of the match. Sonny jumped on Benoit's back. Cat tried to hit Benoit with the ruby slipper, but hit Sonny on accident. Swan Dive and Iron Crossface for the ring. I can't wait for Brain to get progressively pissier all night. It should be good.
Sid hype video.
Vampiro vs Buff Bagwell
No ICP. Maybe they're done with the company. I hope so. Buff looks fucking ridiculous with some terrible facial hair and his air bushed overalls (and top hat). Brain might have fucked Cher the night before. "It's not very often we get to come to Atlanta, Georgia!" They had a Nitro in Atlanta not even 3 months ago. Brain called Buff out on his cheap heat attempt. I wonder why Vamp had the land on your feet from a monkey flip spot as one of his regulars. He NEVER stuck the landing. Vamp hit the Nail in the Coffin as a basic transition move. It was weird. It wasn't even called as the Nail in the Coffin. Buff won after shoving off a superplex and hitting the Blockbuster.
As Tony and Brain argue, Dr. Claw speaks to Tony. We see a window floating on an otherwise all black screen as Dr. Claw says that darkness is coming.
A truly weird video of... Lex Luger's funeral. There was only one person at it and Lex's ghost was over seeing it. The ghost claimed that Lex Luger was no longer with us. It then went to the grave yard, where Ghost Lex and a woman in a black veil toss flowers into the grave. It was fucking weird.
The woman in the veil comes out to reveal herself as Liz, looking hot as fuck. In the center of the ring is the former Lex Luger, who apparently time traveled into the ring, Terminator style. Lex will now only be referred to as The Total Package. He even started in the Arnold pose from T1/T2. Then he does a long pose down with a spot light on him. The whole thing was fucking weird.
TO THE BACK. A trainer was telling Hulk the only he could do was to alleviate some of the pain in Hulk's knee. Hogan says to just cut his damn pants off. Sting walks in, hits Hulk in the knee with a bat again, and casually walks off. The trainer yelled, "WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!?". Well, what do you think, doctor? The last 3 segments in a row were so bizarre.
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Dean Malenko
Sweet. Hopefully we get a super gut buster. Shane told Dean that the Revolution were going to watch his back. Dean doesn't want Shane's help and sends them to the back. In response, Rey sends the Animals to the back. Already dissension in the group. They start out with an extended indie respeck stand off that wasn't very respectful. A whole lot of super smooth and fast reversals. Dean counters a springboard senton with a sit out powerbomb. A split screen shows us that Sid and Rick Steiner have arrived. Rey won with a roll up OUTTA NOWHERE.
Hugh Morrus vs Goldberg
Maybe Hugh will finally get his revenge. I believe this might be an anniversary match. Bill dominates until Jimmy Hart distracts the ref. Sid came out and hit him with a chair on the floor. Goldberg kicked out of the moonsault. Spear and jackhammer for the win. Goldberg called Sid out after the match.
TO THE BACK. An ambulance leaves the arena.
Diva Search stuff.
Evan Karagias vs Berlyn
Wall punched Evan. Alex won with a neckbreaker. Brad Armstrong came out again and got beat up.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg busts in a locker room and asks for Sid. Sid wasn't there, but the guy in the room gave Goldberg Sid's keys. Elsewhere, David Flair is calling people looking for Torrie.
West Texas Rednecks vs Harlem Heat WCW Tag Team Championships
Tony talks about Booker being a multi-sport athlete in high school. That's not true. Tenay revealed on Nitro or Thunder that Book played no organized sports growing up and was instead in the marching band. Why are you lying, Tony? You're better than that. During the match, there was a Sprite commercial featuring Sting wrestling with a kid in a house. Harlem Heat won after hitting Barry with one of the titles. Titles retained.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg was on the phone calling someone and looking very pleased with himself.
Rick Steiner vs Van Hammer
Lol. Hammer was supposed to face Sid. Rick Steiner came out and said nah, you will face me. Just like he did for Sting against Benoit. Main eventer doesn't want to job? Send Rick Steiner in his place. Charles Robinson prevented Hammer from hitting his finish. Rick won with the bulldog and a low blow.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Bret Hart is the guest and is here to talk about getting hit in the face with a bat and Hogan's injury. "Lex Luger and Sting, two guys I used to have respect for." At what point in his WCW tenure has Bret shown respect for either of them? Like when he injured both of them? Bret talks about respect for Ric and Hogan. Ric came out. Bret said Ric was the best there is, best there was, and best there ever will be. I'm sure that killed him to say that. Flair said they were WRASSLIN, then did a pose down, phantom elbow drop, phantom knee drop, phantom low blow, and phantom fucking. Of note is that Bret didn't mention any injuries from getting hit in the face with a baseball bat and showed no signs that such a thing had happened. Gene brought it up at the start of the interview, but Bret didn't talk about it. Last week we were told that Bret had a broken nose and possible cracked cheek bone.
Brain and Tony talk about the the hair vs mask match. Brain says he wants to see Kidman skinned. Actually scalped. Then he says he doesn't care what Kidman looks like bald and asks if anyone does. Lol. He's been awesome tonight.
TO THE BACK. David finally gets a hold of Torrie, who is in the Filthy Animals' locker room. She claims to still be at the air port. If David would just watch the show, he would have seen where she was. Elsewhere, Sid asks the guy for his keys. He was informed that Goldberg now had them.
Konnan vs Saturn
FUCK. Konnan is back to wrestling. I can't wait for Konnan/Shane matches where the winner is the first to get injured. When Brain says he only loves his job because he gets paid to do it, Tony tries to cover it by saying that Brain is a fan of pro wrestling and being able to call Nitro is the highlight of his week. Bobby gives no fucks tonight. Chavo hits the ring with most of the former LWO. They attack Konnan, causing a DQ. The rest of the Animals hit the ring, then the Revolution came out. Shane pulled Saturn out of the ring. Saturn almost hit him and had to be held back by Dean and Benoit.
TO THE BACK. Sid goes to check on his car. Seconds after he left, a toe truck came by.
DDP/Flair hype video.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg sees Sid's car off and wants it back by 11 tonight.
TO THE MEAN GENE. DDP. Gene says he's a former 3 time champ. Lol. Every week DDP says TWO TIME TWO TIME TWO TIME champ. DDP randomly brings up being married to Kim. He calls Lex by Lex, after it was made clear that Lex is dead and will only be known as The Total Package.
John Popper was in the crowd and he...ate his beer.
Kidman vs Psychosis Luchas de Apuestas
Kidman tries to take the mask off during the match. That's so dicky and makes little sense to me considering he's in a stable with 3 men steeped in lucha tradition and history. I would think they would all take issue with Kidman trying to take someone's mask off like that. In fact, I would think that one of them would have more or less refused to partake in the angle since they all wanted to quit anyway. That's not a face move at all. Even in WCW, it is established that trying to remove a mask from any wrestler is a dickhead move. Chavo and Juvi came out early on in the match. Chavo would hit a tornado DDT, but Kidman kicked out. Juvi hit a Juvi Driver. Kidman kicked out. This is like a Cena/Ziggler match. Kidman kicks out of 2 finishers from run ins and still easily won with an SSP. He removed the mask while doing a bulldog, but we didn't really get a chance to see Hypno's ugly face.
TO THE BACK. Sting/Lex/DDP head to the ring area. Lex just stops, thinking there was a cut. There wasn't and DDP informed him there was a red light on the camera. Liz froze and Lex looked like a dumbass. Flair was also seen walking to the ring.
DDP/The Total Package/Sting vs Ric Flair/Bret Hart
Remember when Tony made a big stink about how WCW delivers matches that they promote after Vince/Austin didn't happen on Raw when Dude Love interfered? I'm pretty sure they've gone 6 weeks in a row with having at least one match they announced and didn't do. Tonight, there are two they announced and didn't do. What kind of world am I in where a face Ric Flair is wrestling a heel Sting? Bret went for the 5MOD on Lex pretty much as soon as he was tagged in. Bret injured all 3 of his opponents in 1998. As Flair had Sting in the figure four, Lex used a bat to choke Bret. He then broke the figure four with the bat, causing a DQ. David Flair ran down and got beat up.
TO THE BACK. An ambulance is back with open doors.
As the beat down continues in the ring, Hogan hobbles down. He beats all 3 heels up despite barely being able to walk. It's just like Impact!
TO THE BACK. We see Sid head out to his car, but the show ended before we got to see him find his car missing.
DQ Count: 2 out of 10 matches.
This show was so weird. Brain was drunk and shooting all night, weird Dr. Claw promo, even weirder Lex Luger funeral, all the stuff with Sid's car despite him not actually having a reason to be at the show since he didn't have a promo or match, the casualness of Sting attacking Hogan with a bat (twice), Lex stopping and having to be reminded that a red light means the camera is on, Flair doing a pose down, Bret no selling getting hit in the face with a bat, Hogan beating up 3 heels on one leg, WCW again not delivering a match they promoted (twice on this show), no Scott Steiner after his return last week even though he lived in Atlanta. Every thing was weird and wacky, but it at least was interesting to watch.
