Here I'll shit out some power rankings:
1. Raiders - Has allowed 600 some odd yards less than the 49ers (albeit has played 1 less game). No one is stingier in the Red Zone.
2. 49ers - Possibly the best team in the league on third down on both sides of the ball. Gives up a fair number of yards in the air.
3. Giants - Not as good as the above two in the Redzone, but considering they're the third best in preventing third down conversions you're gonna have to earn your way down the field.
4. Bengals - Best team in the league against the rush right now (at least in terms of total yards, too lazy to do per game).
5. Texans - One the one hand if you get in the Red Zone on them you're coming away with points. Good luck getting there though as only the Raiders have allowed fewer Red Zone possesions.
6. Colts - One of only 3 teams in the league with over 3000 yards of offense. Made even more impressive by the fact that they're second to last in rushing yards!
7. Bucs - DM Ball is still strong. 4th lowest total yards on offense and a 5-2 record. Grind it out young man!
8. Broncos - Apparently the Broncos didn't get the memo about the NFL being a passing league now. Even DM thinks their passing game is stale!
9. Eagles - Second in the NFL in Red Zone TDs scored. You should probably save yourself time when they're inside your 20 and just let them walk it in.
10. Chargers - Second in third downs converted, first in third downs prevented. And yet they're only 4-3!
11. Steelers - The raw numbers look pretty good, and they have a top 3 offense yardage wise. Maybe they turn it over a lot?
12. Vikings - 100% in Red Zone scoring but only 50% TDs. Just give it to AP!
13. Cardinals - The Albatross might be holding a WC spot right now if he hadn't lost to the Seachickens!
14. Falcons - Trade/cut half your roster, struggle to beat inferior opponents, reach mid season at .500, all in a days work.
15. Saints - Surprisingly strong in the Red Zone defensively. They need to not be so generous on third downs though!
16. Bills - The Madden Bills decline seems directly related to the rise of the real life Bills.
17. Pats - Lots of yards, not enough points. Bill Belicheck is displeased with all this balance on offense.
18. Panthers - How does a team with Scam Newton, DeAngelo Williams and J-Stew only score on 70% of their trips to the red zone? Run some triple option son!
19. Bears - The scary thing is Bob might actually be pretty good if he did have a pass catching tight end!
20. Lions - They put up a lot of yards and give up a lot of yards. Pretty much the antithesis of DM Ball.
21. Jaguars - My last memory of the Jaguars is Konex rolling out to his right and completing a deep bomb to Marcedes Lewis just as Shawne Merriman kills Garrard.
22. Rams - They still have two games against the Seahawks to turn things around!
23. Packers - You'd think you could just press A to snap the ball on every play and finish at least .500 with this team.
24. Jets - Madden LT just isn't what he once was.
25. Dolphins - I only just now realized that Pheeknicks isn't the Dolphins, boy do I feel silly!
26. Ravens - Ray Lewis is getting too old for this shit.
27. Cowboys - Romo is killing them in the Red Zone. And that run game makes Emmitt Smith a sad panda.
28. Redskins - Second worst team in the Red Zone, and one of the worst teams on third down. I'm not afraid of waking the Dragon.
29. Seahawks - Marshawn Lynch is getting nearly 5 YPC. Too bad T-Jack and Max Unger are bad and should feel bad.
30. Chiefs - At least virtual Jamaal Charles still has his ACL!
31. Browns - Like their miserable brethren the Seahawks and Redskins they just have no hope when third downs roll around.
32. Titans - At least Pheeknicks has the NBA too look forward too. Oh.