Perspicacity
Banned
Objectively better than any I got in two years with the ex...
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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I had an extremely confusing weekend with the girlfriend. We were broken up for about 1 hour, then shit went down.
Not going to go into details because I'll write up a manifesto. Going to keep working at this relationship and just stop over analyzing it and trying to force a speed on it or expectations of what it should be.
I like hanging out with her and vice versa. That's cool enough for now. If later on things get more serious great, if not, oh well.
Prolly going to shut down the OKC. Was only getting a few bites anyway that were standard "meh" fair.
Not going to go into details because I'll write up a manifesto. Going to keep working at this relationship and just stop over analyzing it and trying to force a speed on it or expectations of what it should be.
I like hanging out with her and vice versa. That's cool enough for now. If later on things get more serious great, if not, oh well.
Prolly going to shut down the OKC. Was only getting a few bites anyway that were standard "meh" fair.
Clay Davis
Member
I didn't have any luck using cupid or plenty of fish. I got a few messages with web chatting but it didn't go beyond that. I'm having more luck on single muslims, I've been messaging a lebenese girl who is interested in meeting, we just need to decide on a day and a neutral location.
tearsofash
Member
Can a white guy join that place?
Clay Davis
Member
anyone can join. it's a paid service so while you can browse the girls or boys and receive messages, you can't read them or reply until you pay.
salaamlove is better if you don't want to pay, you can upload a picture and they give you access to messaging.
megamerican
Member
Okay so this reasonably hot girl just messaged me out of the blue. At first I cannot believe my luck. But now she is like peppering me with questions, she has asked me repeatedly what I do for a living. When I try to steer things in the direction of interests she basically deflects and asks for for more pictures / Facebook. I feel like I'm being vetted, and I don't even know if we have anything in common. I don't really have anything to hide but don't feel like playing this game to be honest.
Should I just bail out?
Should I just bail out?
Perspicacity
Banned
Address it head on. Make a joke about her interrogating you if you can, if she doesn't back off or explain herself then she may not be worth your time.
megamerican
Member
Haha I just tried this with the most passive aggressive joke I could muster. It will probably just lead to no further contact, but fuck it.
I'm beginning to wonder about this whole thing really. The people seem so weird.
yea bro, met a few breezy's on okc.
If anyone has rated me on OKC, what do you guys think of my profile? too blunt, suggestions?
tearsofash
Member
That's when you gotta play hard to get. Don't answer the message for a few days lest she think you're desperate.
I didn't answer for ~35 hours, mainly because of not knowing I had a message.
Hot girl messages you back (hottest one yet actually), hasn't logged back in in a week lolz.
Do y'all really play the 2 or 3 day rule on OKC? I'v got the app and notifications set up so I'll respond relatively fast. Not like instantly, but I don't see anything wrong with responding like 45 minutes later (I think it also says sent from the OKC app so it's kind of apparent you have that set up).
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Been messaging this extremely attractive girl for a day or two now, got her number. We have an insane amount of things in common it seems, gonna try to see if she wants to go to Riotfest this weekend.
tearsofash
Member
I'll respond from the app quick, but I like to wait if I'm not using the app. The app gives off the impression I'm out and about being a fun dude. Using it from the regular site probably infers I'm just some hover-hand dweeb who is at home on his computer instead of out being cool.
SeriousApes
Member
I don't know what to make my username.
Can you change it later? Because all I can think of right now is SeriousApes.
Can you change it later? Because all I can think of right now is SeriousApes.
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
StoicSimians
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
whysoseriousapes
SeriousApes
Member
I took the simian half.
I'm now at the part where I'm taking some kind of poll. How many questions are there? Should my answers be private? What's going on?
It's somewhat important that I think this is very important.
SeriousApes
Member
This thing has decided that I am significantly worse mannered than the majority of straight men my age. How did that happen? I think if Staff Robot met me in person, he or she would realize that I'm actually pretty polite.
When you visit a girl for the first time, and you aren't anonymous, you show up on her list on the right side of her home page, as well as a notification.
When you visit again, the time you visited gets updated and you move up her visitor list, but she isn't directly notified.
When you are anonymous, she doesn't see you visit at all, and you don't see anybody visit you.
Got a date set up with a girl I've been texting back and forth quite a bit this weekend. She's really chill and nice and I love her personality but without sounding like a jerk, she's not my usual type. She's not ugly or bad or anything, just not my type. Will see what happens. Great personality, though she's really religious which might be a problem later.
velvet_nitemare
Member
I know what you mean, i'm texting a girl that's bigger than i usually go for. I'm trying to give it a chance, but i can't say i'm excited at all.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You can't. You shouldn't have lied. You're having to say now what you should have said then.
velvet_nitemare
Member
Some of these girls need to realize that because you made out with a girl when you were drunk in the club does not make you bisexual.
That's when I hit eject.
The more I talk to her the more attracted I am to her right now. Really close to what I look for personality wise, from what I can tell. Plus she gyms and exercises a lot so like, it can all change haha.
Yea..this is a big if. We haven't even talked about religion once though, so we'll see.
The influx of new members seems to have slowed down though. I see no new members in the last 2 days with my search parameters.
Ok, I texted this girl for a few hours last night that contacted me first on OKC and that lives a few hours away. I drive 2 hours in every direction to hang out with people in different cities and go to concerts in different cities. I don't expect to meet up with her anytime soon, but she seems like she could be a cool friend to chill with every so often since we have the same interests if we're in the same city.
So, since this is mainly text communication, how do I do this without her replies stopping all of a sudden? I hate that shit. I getting tired of talking to people then getting cut off randomly for good. Making new friends is quite important to me, despite it being a dating website.
So, since this is mainly text communication, how do I do this without her replies stopping all of a sudden? I hate that shit. I getting tired of talking to people then getting cut off randomly for good. Making new friends is quite important to me, despite it being a dating website.
How long do you guys usually make your first messages? Is it best to go with a simple, "Hello, you're awesome for liking __ and ___. How are you?" or do you try to add a little bit of substance by pointing out your shared interests in more detail? I've been experimenting with both, and I think people don't usually go for detailed messages, unless they're really attracted to you and have a 99% match rating...
Rookje
Member
I wanna see her pic.
That wasn't exactly a harmless way to end it.
Next time, end it with a "Have a good night" or something neutral.
Just tell her you're not sure if you'll have much free time now since you're real busy or something. She'll get the hint I suppose.
Or you can just tell her the truth.
velvet_nitemare
Member
Sounds good man, let us know how it goes.
Any one ever use the broadcast function on the OKC app? I'm thinking of throwing something out this weekend see if any one good bites and wants to hang. Don't have much expectations, but i think it's worth a try.
I don't understand girls and OKCupid :| Why would you take the time to respond to my messages, express interest and ask questions about my profile and then not respond to my second message. Oh well, on to the next girl. I'm still waiting for that hottie to log back on and respond (if she does log back on, been a week).
jamesinclair
Banned
This does seem to be a surprisingly common event and I dont understand the logic behind it.
Just ask her to hang out some time. It seems like already having an event in mind yields better success so if you know a band you're both into that's playing in the near future, ask her to go.
I'll PM you her username so you can search for her. Hope you live in NYC and make 6 figs
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Maybe because in that time they've become more interested in someone else.
It's weird how many of you guys take these things so personally and assume your messages to another girl are like all she gets or that they don't have lives.
You assume I'm taking this personally, just making an observation on how strange it is (and it is kind of odd).
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
No, it's actually the common experience. Every single one of us can talk about how it's happened. Interesting, attractive girls have a lot of choices.
Condescending tone is slightly unnecessary not that I take offense (if you didn't mean to be condescending, my bad). I'm new to OKCupid, I have sent a grand total of fifteen messages. Felt like making an observation based off my experience thus far.
Anyways... What's the farthest distance y'all are willing to go for a girl on this? My metro area is pretty large and covers several cities so there are girls that pop up that are easily an hour drive away.
When I was using OKC I found that the one thing you have to realize is this:
Unless you look like Brad Pitt, there's always gonna be that guy who's better looking than you. Unfortunately, a ton of people on OKC can be shallow and immediately judge a person by their profile pictures and nothing else at first. If you're "worthy" of being looked into further you may get a message. However, keep in mind that you should be putting your best into it, because at any moment some bastard who looks better could come in and snatch her right up.
I only landed one successful meeting with a girl from OKC. She was nerdy, shy, and kind of sheltered from a lot of life experiences from what I could tell. She was attractive to me, but not exactly the level of attraction I was looking for. Very nice person, and we went on 3 dates in 3 weeks. Just wasn't what I was looking for.
I consider myself a somewhat above average (but not super hot) looking guy, and even I feel that I NEVER stood a chance with the "hot" girls. However, it never stopped me from giving good solid messages out. If you lose interest in it, take a break for a while. Otherwise you just start sending out shit messages and will get discouraged even more.
In the meantime, pray, think, hope, whatever it is you prefer - that you just meet someone naturally in person. It's a lot easier...oh shit is it so much easier lol...
Always remember online dating should be an accessory to searching in real life, not your primary method.
Unless you look like Brad Pitt, there's always gonna be that guy who's better looking than you. Unfortunately, a ton of people on OKC can be shallow and immediately judge a person by their profile pictures and nothing else at first. If you're "worthy" of being looked into further you may get a message. However, keep in mind that you should be putting your best into it, because at any moment some bastard who looks better could come in and snatch her right up.
I only landed one successful meeting with a girl from OKC. She was nerdy, shy, and kind of sheltered from a lot of life experiences from what I could tell. She was attractive to me, but not exactly the level of attraction I was looking for. Very nice person, and we went on 3 dates in 3 weeks. Just wasn't what I was looking for.
I consider myself a somewhat above average (but not super hot) looking guy, and even I feel that I NEVER stood a chance with the "hot" girls. However, it never stopped me from giving good solid messages out. If you lose interest in it, take a break for a while. Otherwise you just start sending out shit messages and will get discouraged even more.
In the meantime, pray, think, hope, whatever it is you prefer - that you just meet someone naturally in person. It's a lot easier...oh shit is it so much easier lol...
Always remember online dating should be an accessory to searching in real life, not your primary method.
Hell, a few of us can even say we have done this very thing.
Amory
Member
*nods*
I really have to stop being a pussy and just approach girls in real life, at the bar or whatever. OKCupid is a nice thing in concept, but I have to imagine it's way harder to land a pretty, interesting girl on a website where she's getting a hundred messages a day than to just go up to one and say hi.
Use a wingman or wingwoman and approach two girls, much easier to strike up conversation that way if you have trouble by yourself. Then you just have to argue with your friend about who gets who. I'v had a surprising amount of luck using a wingwoman as of recently, I guess it makes them more comfortable if its not just two dudes.
Yup. I imagine most girls don't get approached by guys for dates on a daily basis, but online they literally get XX number of messages per day from a wide range of potentially appealing guys. It's a losing battle online in some ways, but it certainly does work for some.
Personally, I made the mistake contrary to my own advice above (this is how I learned the hard way you can't rely on online dating)...I used online dating as my primary strategy. I moved to a new area for a job, and knew no one. I thought online dating would help me meet new people. I used this excuse for too long (1.5 years) and only met that 1 freakin' girl I mentioned above. Just as I was starting to get discouraged and depressed, I realized that a co-worker of mine and I shared feelings for each other for some time and we acted upon that. Never looked back since lol.
Absolutely.
Rookje
Member
So what do you guys include in messages? I've only messaged one girl so far, just haven't had time lately. She's viewed my profile twice since then, but hasn't replied...
Also, do you guys get messages from other guys? How the hell does that happen... I had to take a double take to make sure my profile said I'm straight.
Lastly, all the girls that are in my "Viewed your profile" are way better looking than the ones I find through "My matches" or searching. What's up with that?
Also, do you guys get messages from other guys? How the hell does that happen... I had to take a double take to make sure my profile said I'm straight.
Lastly, all the girls that are in my "Viewed your profile" are way better looking than the ones I find through "My matches" or searching. What's up with that?
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
I haven't checked back on this thread in a while but I'm having pretty decent luck so far. Dated a few different girls and so far they all seem really cool except for one but she moved away so that's all good.
But here's a horrible and funny story that a friend of mine told me, she was actually the one that suggested I try out this site.
She's a very attractive looking girl who used to do some modeling and she usually gets 40-50 messages a week. Most of them are really creepy or meaningless but there was this one guy who she went back-and-forth with and he seemed interesting so they went out. On the first date, the conversation somehow went like this:
Him: "So have you gotten any surgeries?"
Friend: "...No, I'm all natural."
Him: "No offense, but I can tell you've had some stuff done."
Friend: "Well if anything, I would take that as a compliment. But no, I've never had any surgeries at all. Not even for like medical reasons."
Him: "No I can tell you're lying. You've had a really bad nose job and whoever did your cheeks made them asymmetrical."
I was just uncontrollably laughing and apologizing when she told me this. Eventually, he got the message that she really never had surgery, and of course they never went out again. I guess it goes to show that as long as you're not an asshole, you do have a better chance than most guys.
Just say you're not interested in sharing a bunch of personal information unless it looks like you actually have something in common.
But here's a horrible and funny story that a friend of mine told me, she was actually the one that suggested I try out this site.
She's a very attractive looking girl who used to do some modeling and she usually gets 40-50 messages a week. Most of them are really creepy or meaningless but there was this one guy who she went back-and-forth with and he seemed interesting so they went out. On the first date, the conversation somehow went like this:
Him: "So have you gotten any surgeries?"
Friend: "...No, I'm all natural."
Him: "No offense, but I can tell you've had some stuff done."
Friend: "Well if anything, I would take that as a compliment. But no, I've never had any surgeries at all. Not even for like medical reasons."
Him: "No I can tell you're lying. You've had a really bad nose job and whoever did your cheeks made them asymmetrical."
I was just uncontrollably laughing and apologizing when she told me this. Eventually, he got the message that she really never had surgery, and of course they never went out again. I guess it goes to show that as long as you're not an asshole, you do have a better chance than most guys.
Just say you're not interested in sharing a bunch of personal information unless it looks like you actually have something in common.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Dude was negging her with stupid PUA shit he read.
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